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He wasn’t ready for commitment. He’d tried it once, with disastrous results.
Luckily for him Callum didn’t show any signs of settling down either, which meant he always had a place to crash. It was reassuring to know that he had a place to stay that didn’t require any commitment from him. Was that immature behaviour? Perhaps. Irresponsible? Maybe. He hadn’t thought about what he’d do if Callum ever did settle down. At least he hadn’t until tonight.
Seeing someone else in his room—he always thought of it as his, even though he was an infrequent visitor—seeing Luci in his bed, made him wonder what he would do if Callum ever wanted to make changes. What if he wanted to rent out that room or live with a girlfriend? Either one would put him out on the street.
Was he being selfish? Taking advantage of Callum’s generosity? Was it time he grew up and stopped relying on his big brother?
But no matter what Cal’s intentions were, being tossed out onto the street by Luci was still a possibility if she was uncomfortable about having him share her space. He’d told her he would stick with Callum’s plan but what if she decided she didn’t want him there?
One thing at a time, he decided. He’d only been back for five minutes. It wasn’t worth wasting time worrying about things that might not happen. It was far more enjoyable to spend his time thinking about a pretty blonde who was curled up in his bed.
Seb laced his fingers together and rested his hands behind his head as he looked up at the sky. There were no clouds, the sky was dark and clear, the stars bright against the inky blackness. He picked out the Southern Cross, its familiar diamond shape marking the sky reminding him of the other diamond he’d seen earlier.
Things were about to become interesting.
* * *
Luci was up early. She showered and grabbed a piece of fruit for breakfast, trying to keep the noise to a minimum. There was no sound from Seb’s room and she didn’t want to disturb him. She hadn’t heard him come back in last night but his motorbike helmet, jacket and boots were still piled on the living room floor so she assumed he was sleeping. She stuffed her laptop into her bag and slung it across her body, biting into her apple as she walked out the front door.
Today was her last full day of lectures. Tomorrow she and the other nineteen registered and enrolled nurses would have orientation at whichever child and family health centre they had been assigned to for their placements, and the course would then become a mixture of theory and practice. Luci was looking forward to getting out of the lecture room and dipping her toe into the world of family and community health.
The lectures had been interesting but she wasn’t used to sitting down all day. The training room was an internal one in the hospital. It was small and windowless and by the end of the day Luci was itching to get outside into the fresh air. She was planning on taking a walk along Manly beach to clear the cobwebs from her mind. She stretched her arms and back and rolled her shoulders as the group waited for the final lecturer of the day. The topic for the last session was indigenous health, which had the potential to be interesting, but Luci didn’t envy the lecturer their four o’clock timeslot. She doubted she was the only one who was thinking ahead to the end of the day.
Luci heard the sound of the door click open and swing shut. It was followed by a murmur from the back of the room that intensified in volume as it swept down the stairs. The room had half a dozen rows of tiered seating and she was sitting near the front. The room was buzzing and Luci turned her head to see what had got everyone so excited.
Seb was at the end of her row, about to step down to the front of the room. What on earth was he doing here?
He shrugged out of his leather jacket and dropped his motorbike helmet on a chair. He was dressed casually in sand-coloured cotton trousers and a chambray blue shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes.
He looked seriously hot.
He pulled a USB stick from his shirt pocket and plugged it into the computer. He was the lecturer?
He looked up, ready to address the room, and his eyes scanned the group, running over the twenty or so attendees. Luci’s stomach was churning with nerves and her palms were sweaty as she waited for him to pick her out in the room. It didn’t take long.
He spotted her in the front row and smiled. His blue eyes were intensely bright in his ridiculously handsome face and Luci swore the entire room, including the two male nurses, caught their collective breath. Her knees wobbled and she was glad she was already sitting down.
‘Hello.’ He was looking straight at her and everything around her dissolved in a haze as she melted into his gaze. ‘I am Dr Seb Hollingsworth.’
Dr! Did he just say Dr? The motorbike-riding, leather-jacketed, living, breathing marble statue was a doctor? Somehow he’d let that little piece of information slide.
Luci missed the rest of his introduction as she tried to remember if she’d told him what she did. She’d talked about the house swap but perhaps she hadn’t told him she was a nurse, which might explain why he hadn’t mentioned he was a doctor. It was hard to remember anything when he was standing right in front of her, looking at her a bit too often with his bright blue eyes.
His voice was strong and deep and confident and Luci could feel it roll through her like waves rolling onto the shore. His voice caressed her and she was tempted to close her eyes as she listened. Maybe then she would be able to concentrate.
He was talking confidently about the cultural differences between the indigenous communities and those families with European backgrounds and the impact that had on the health of the children.
‘Indigenous families are often reluctant to bring their children to the health clinics because of the lessons history has taught them. Many are fearful but we know that early intervention and health checks save lives. Education is the key, not only by the health professionals but also by the schools. We know that educated people have a better standard of living and better health. We have been running playgroups and early learning sessions to encourage the families to come to the clinics and the hope is that the parents will then feel comfortable enough to enrol their kids in school. Our current focus from a health perspective is on nutrition and family support so for any of you who will spend time working with these communities during your placements you’ll need to be aware of the cultural sensitivities.’
Luci knew she should be taking notes but she was too busy watching and listening. She hadn’t been able to keep her eyes closed. It was too tempting to watch him. And she knew where to find him if she had any questions.
‘Funding is an issue—nothing new there,’ he was saying, ‘but the health department will continue to lobby for that. Our stats show there are benefits with these early intervention health programmes.’
There were lots of questions as Seb tried to wrap up his session. Luci guessed they all wanted to prolong the time that he spent in the room and even when he dismissed the class several of them crowded around him like kids around the ice-cream truck.
Luci gathered her notebook and laptop and shoved them into her bag. She wasn’t going to hang around. If he was finished by the time she was packed up she’d stop and talk to him, otherwise she’d leave. She picked up her bag and started up the steps.
‘Luci! Can you wait a moment?’ Seb’s voice stopped her in her tracks.
She hesitated. She had nowhere she had to rush off to. She had no reason not to wait. She dumped her bag on a chair and sat down, aware that some of the other girls were looking at her curiously. That was okay. She was used to being stared at and talked about.
Seb finished his discussions with the other students and came over to her.
‘Dr Hollingsworth?’ Luci was determined to get the first words in but that didn’t seem to faze Seb.
‘Nurse Luci.’ He was smiling at her, making her insides turn somersaults. Again. ‘Have you got time for a drink?’
‘Why?’
‘It seems we have some things to discuss, I thought it might be nice to share our secrets over a drink.’
‘I don’t have any secrets,’ she fibbed.
His grin widened. ‘Everyone has secrets,’ he said. He had his jacket and helmet tucked under one arm and he picked up Luci’s bag with his other hand. ‘Come on, I’ll give you a lift.’
‘Where are we going?’
Seb smirked, obviously sensing victory, and replied, ‘The Sandman, it’s about halfway down the beach.’
The bar was on North Steyne Street, a little over a kilometre away. Luci had walked past it before. ‘I’ll meet you there,’ she said. The walk would give her a chance to clear her head and hopefully time to get over her jitters. She wasn’t sure if this was a good idea but she couldn’t think of an excuse on the spot. She couldn’t think of anything much when Seb looked at her and smiled.
Luci took her bag from Seb and slung it over her shoulder. When she reached the beach she rolled up the legs of her khaki pants and slid her canvas sneakers off her feet and walked along the sand. The late-afternoon sun bounced off the waves, turning the water silver. Kids with surfboards ran in and out of the ocean, their shouts drowning out the screeching of the seagulls. The beach was busy. She didn’t know a soul but she was fine with that. Back home she couldn’t walk down the street without bumping into half a dozen people she knew and it was a pleasant change to have anonymity, especially after the past six months. It wasn’t always so great having everyone know your business.
She stepped off the beach opposite the bar. She walked on the grass to brush the sand from her feet then slipped her shoes back on. Seb had beaten her there and he lifted a hand in greeting as she crossed the street. As if she wouldn’t have noticed him—the bar was busy but he was easily the most noticeable person there.
Somehow, despite the crowd, he’d managed to grab a table with a view of the beach. He stood up as she approached and offered her a stool, his motorbike helmet on a third stool, like a chaperone.
‘What can I get you to drink?’
‘What are you going to have?’
‘A beer.’
‘That sounds great, thank you.’
Sturdy Norfolk pines lined the foreshore, guarding the beach, and Luci watched the ocean through the frame of the trees. She took her phone out of her bag as Seb went to the bar and snapped a photo of the view. She sent it to Flick captioned, After-work drinks, could get used to this! But she resisted saying anything about the company she was keeping. There was no way to describe how he made her feel. Nervous, excited, expectant. She was silly to feel those things, she knew nothing about him, and she knew she couldn’t share her thoughts, Flick would think she’d gone crazy.
She slipped her phone into her bag as Seb came back to the table.
He handed her a glass. ‘So, you’re a nurse?’
‘And you’re a doctor.’
‘I am. Is that how you met Callum? Through the hospital? How come I’ve never met you?’
Luci laughed. ‘Which question do you want me to answer first?’
‘Your choice.’
He was looking at her intently and her heart pounded in her chest. He made her feel nervous—a gorgeous man paying her attention. It was such an unfamiliar situation but she would have to admit she rather liked it. She didn’t even mind the nerves. It was exciting.
She took a sip of her beer as she thought about which answer to give him.
‘I’ve never actually met your brother. And I’ve never been to Sydney before, which would be why we’ve never met. Callum needed a place to stay and so did I. The house swap was convenient for both of us. Nothing more than that.’
Luci had been restless since her divorce and Flick had been pushing her to get out of Vickers Hill, but she’d needed more than a push. She was buying her ex’s share of their house and she couldn’t afford to pay her mortgage and rent elsewhere so it wasn’t until the house-swap idea had been suggested that she’d been brave enough to actually put a plan in motion. Having the opportunity to study and have free accommodation had been a big deciding factor for her. Which brought her back to the matter at hand. Where was she going to be able to stay now? It would be extremely inconvenient if she had to change her plans.
‘Callum didn’t tell me that he had any other tenants,’ she said. ‘I suppose I could look into nurses’ accommodation through the hospital if you want me to move out. Do you know if the hospital has any student accommodation? I’m afraid I don’t know anyone in Sydney to stay with.’
Seb shook his head. ‘You have more right to be there than I do. I told you, whatever plans you made with him stick. It’s his place and I’m not even technically a tenant. I only crash there when I come to town. I can ask one of my mates to put me up.’
‘When you come to town?’ Luci queried. ‘You’re not employed at North Sydney?’ She had assumed he was a staff doctor. ‘Are you just a guest lecturer?’
‘Not exactly.’ Seb picked up his glass and Luci’s eyes followed the path of his drink from the table to his lips. She watched as he took a long sip. She could scarcely believe she was sitting at a bar, having a drink with a stranger. She’d never been out with a man she’d just met. Not one on one. For as long as she could remember she had been part of a couple.
Seb made her feel nervous. But it was a good kind of nervous. An exciting kind.
He swallowed his beer and continued, ‘I’m employed by the state health department and I’m based out of North Sydney Hospital but I spend most of my time in rural areas. There doesn’t seem to be much point paying rent in the city, especially not at Sydney prices, for the few nights a month that I’m in town so I crash at Cal’s.’
Disappointment washed over her. He was only in town a few nights a month. Did that mean he’d be gone again soon?
‘If you’re only here for a few days then I’m sure we can manage to share the space,’ she suggested, hoping she sounded friendly and hospitable rather than desperate, but the truth was she’d quite like the company. While she was enjoying her anonymity she’d never lived on her own before—she’d left home and moved into university accommodation and then married Ben. She was finding Callum’s apartment a bit too quiet. She liked the idea of having company and she had a feeling she could do a lot worse than Seb’s.
‘I need to be honest,’ he replied. ‘I’m here for longer than a few days this time, it’ll be closer to six weeks, and in the interests of full disclosure I’ll be working out of the community health centre attached to the hospital. Where will you be doing your placement?’
‘There.’ Because Luci was from interstate she’d been given the most convenient placement.
‘So we’ll be working together too,’ Seb added, ‘but if you’re happy to share Cal’s space for a few days, we could give it a trial and see how we go.’ He smiled at her and Luci’s heart flipped in her chest. ‘If it doesn’t work out, I’ll find somewhere else to stay. How’s that sound?’
It sounded all right to her but she paused while she pretended to give it some thought. She nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘That’s settled, then.’ He tapped his drink against hers. ‘House mates it is.’ He sipped his beer and asked, ‘So tell me about Vickers Hill. Your family is there?’
Luci nodded. ‘My parents. I work at the local hospital.’
‘Is it a big town?’
‘Big enough to need a hospital. Your typical country hospital. We have obstetrics and some aged-care beds and we do some minor surgery as well.’
‘So why the change to family and community health?’
‘I needed to get out.’
‘Of the hospital?’
Luci shook her head. ‘Of Vickers Hill.’
‘Why?’
Luci sighed quietly. There was no point keeping everything a secret as she figured he’d find out most of it eventually anyway. His brother was in Vickers Hill, working with her father. There would be no secrets. Not that her father would talk about her but Luci knew there were patients who couldn’t resist gossip. And if Callum looked anything like Seb did, Luci knew there’d be no shortage of patients booking appointments with the new doctor. ‘I got divorced six months ago and I just felt I needed to get out of town for a while.’
‘Has it been messy?’
‘Not messy so much as awkward. My dad is the local doctor—Callum has gone to work in his clinic,’ she explained, ‘so everyone, and I mean everyone, knows me. My ex-husband and I grew up together, we dated since high school, got married at twenty-one and divorced at twenty-five.’
‘You were together, what, ten years?’
‘About that.’
‘That’s a long time. This must be tough for you.’
No one else, other than Flick and her parents, had really understood how her divorce had impacted on her but Seb had hit the nail on the head immediately.
Her divorce had turned her world upside down. Every day of her life had included Ben. He was part of her history. Their friendship and relationship had shaped her into the person she was today and it had been difficult to separate herself into her own person. Ben was wrapped up in her identity and she was having to shape a new one for herself. It had been tough. Really tough.
Perhaps it was the distance lending Seb perspective. Everyone at home seemed to be having just as much difficulty adjusting to Luci being single as she was, which was partly why she had decided, or agreed with Flick’s suggestion, to leave. The locals weren’t moving on as quickly as she would like, which had made things even more difficult for her. It had taken her a lot of adjusting but she was finally coming to terms with the end of her marriage, and she felt the process would be faster if she didn’t have to contend with local opinion as well.
‘It has been rough,’ she admitted. ‘I reckon a divorce is sad and stressful enough, without having an entire town involved. Because everyone knew us, had seen us grow up, they all seemed to think that our divorce was somehow their business. I was tired of everyone either feeling sorry for me because I couldn’t keep my husband or offering to set me up with their nephew, grandson or best friend’s boy.’
‘So you ran away?’
He was watching her closely and Luci could feel herself starting to blush. She wasn’t used to such close attention. She turned away, breaking eye contact. ‘It was time for a change.’
Feeling sorry for herself was self-indulgent. She needed to move on but in a town where everyone knew her business that was hard to do. The truth was she hadn’t coped well at all but that was none of their business. That’s why Flick had been able to talk her into this crazy idea to take a study break in Sydney, and looking around her now she had to admit that it hadn’t been such a mad idea after all. She was actually feeling like she was able to put her marriage behind her. But the demise of her marriage had also cost her the chance of motherhood and that wasn’t so easy to come to terms with.
But she preferred to think she was running towards her future rather than away from her past. She didn’t want to get pigeonholed, which was the danger if she’d stayed put, but there was no need to explain everything. Seb didn’t need to know it all. Unlike at home, she could choose to keep her secrets. This was her opportunity to tell people only what she wanted them to know and she intended to make the most of it.
‘Well, I reckon there’s plenty in Sydney to keep you so busy that you won’t have time to think. And I promise not to introduce you to any eligible men. Unless you ask me to,’ he added. He finished his beer, pushed back the cuff of his shirt and looked at his watch. ‘I have a meeting to get to but can I give you a lift home first?’ he asked as he picked up his helmet.
‘That would be great,’ she said, but she should have said no.
Seb offered her his leather jacket to wear for protection, just in case something untoward happened. His hands brushed hers as he slid the jacket over her arms and when his fingers brushed her neck as he fastened the strap of his spare helmet under her chin Luci thought she might melt on the spot. And she still had to get on the bike and sit behind him and wrap her arms around his waist. She wasn’t sure her brain could be trusted to convey all those messages.
She should have declined his offer, she’d remember that next time.
But it was too late now. She’d been on a motorbike before. It was probably no different from cycling—it would all come back to her once she got on. Her ex had a trail bike that he’d used to ride around his parents’ property and to school. He would pick her up every morning and give her a lift, but they’d been seventeen then. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d ridden on the back of his bike, and as she wrapped her arms around Seb’s waist and felt his body heat radiating into her she thought she certainly didn’t remember feeling like this.
The bike vibrated between her thighs. She pressed her legs into the seat as she held on tight. Her face was tucked against his shoulder blade and she could smell him. He smelt fresh and tangy; there was a trace of citrus in his aftershave, lime perhaps.
