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‘Hello again,’ he said, and although his gaze didn’t move from her face Ellie felt as though he was running his eyes over the length of her just as he’d done yesterday in the Stat Bar. His eyes were dark, dark brown and by the look in them she knew he was recalling yesterday too. She felt another blush creep up her neck as the corners of his eyes creased as he smiled and his eyes darkened further, reminding her of molten chocolate.
He extended his hand. It was warm, just as she’d expected, and now she could feel that silent hum pulsing up her arm. It was no longer just moving through the air, it was moving through her and it was definitely coming from him. She could feel herself wanting to close her eyes, wanting to lose herself in the force field that surrounded them. That was the only way to describe the sensation. She fought to keep her eyes open, fought not to succumb to his intensity.
She felt Charlotte watching her and knew she was wondering about Dr Leonardi’s choice of words. Hello again.
She avoided the physio’s gaze as she fought to keep a level head. She let go of Dr Leonardi’s hand as she checked to see if the right people had assembled.
‘Shall we get started?’ she said, turning away from James Leonardi and forcing herself to concentrate as she led the group to the first patient on her list. Her job would be to make sure that all the medical staff was up to speed on the patient’s condition and treatment regime. Charlotte would be responsible for ensuring that the physio angle was covered and together they would work out what else needed to be done or discuss discharge possibilities.
‘Morning, George,’ Ellie greeted their first patient, before introducing him to the group and handing his case notes to James. She took a step closer to the bed, putting some distance between her and James. She had to move away, it was impossible to stay focussed on her work when he stood so near. He smelt like limes, like a cool drink on a hot day, and she was finding him hugely distracting.
‘This is George Poni,’ she said, forcing herself to concentrate on the patient. ‘He’s a fifty-year-old who came off second best when his motorbike hit a guard rail six days ago. He sustained a fractured left ankle, left head of radius, clavicle and wrist. He underwent open reduction, internal fixation of his ankle and wrist and conservative, non-surgical treatment of his clavicle and elbow. He’s had no complications and we’re starting to consider discharge.’
‘I can’t go home,’ George interrupted. ‘My wife is going to kill me. Tell them, Ellie.’
‘You’ll be fine, George,’ Ellie said in an attempt to placate him. ‘I’ve spoken to Lilly and she’s quite calm about the whole thing now as long as you promise to give up the motorbike and find some other safer hobby to pursue through your mid-life crisis. Her words, not mine!’ she added at the end of her spiel. Out of the corner of her eye she could see James smiling. His smile was wide and it brought creases to the corners of his eyes. He had the smile of someone who smiled often and who was used to people smiling with him.
‘Other than putting his life in danger, is there any other reason not to discharge George?’ James asked. ‘How mobile is he, Charlotte?’
‘He’s partial weight-bearing on his left leg and can manage short distances with one crutch, but we’re planning on sending him home with a wheelchair as he can’t use two crutches because of his upper-limb injuries. There’s still a lot of swelling but nothing more than expected. Despite George’s protestations, his wife is capable and willing to give support.’
James was checking the medication chart at the end of George’s bed. ‘He’s still having four-hourly Panadeine Forte?’ He directed his question at Ellie.
‘For his elbow and ankle.’ Ellie clarified George’s pain relief requirements.
‘Do we need this bed?’
‘No.’ Ellie shook her head. ‘We’re okay at the moment.’
‘Okay, George. I’ll do you a deal. Let’s see how you go with painkillers every six hours but we’ll start making arrangements for discharge and review your situation tomorrow.’
‘Thanks, Doc.’
‘Next?’ James said. Ellie indicated the bed diagonally opposite George’s, where a very thin, pale young man lay, and the group migrated to his bedside.
‘Dylan Harris, twenty-four, also involved in a motorbike accident, six weeks ago. He sustained a fractured right femur and fractured pelvis. He’s had a K-nail inserted into his femur and was in traction for his pelvis. He been a bit slow to get up and get moving.’ In fact, if she was being totally honest, Ellie would say Dylan was being ridiculously pathetic. He regularly burst into dramatic tears whenever the physios came to do his treatment, even though his injuries were healing well and there was nothing to be concerned about from his recovery point of view.
‘What seems to be the problem?’
‘A lack of motivation and co-operation,’ Charlotte contributed.
‘I’m not using that walking frame, that’s for old people,’ Dylan sulked, indicating the gutter frame that was waiting beside his bed.
Charlotte sighed. ‘How many times have we had this conversation, Dylan? The rate you’re going you will be old before you get out of here. Once I’m confident that you’re walking safely with the frame we can look at progressing to crutches.’
‘I’ll get up if Ellie walks with me.’
‘You have to walk with the physios first,’ Charlotte replied. ‘It’s hospital policy.’
‘Why don’t I come back with Charlotte after rounds and we’ll get you out of bed together?’ Ellie suggested. ‘I’ll be your second person assist,’ she said to Charlotte.
‘As long as you’re sure,’ Charlotte said.
Ellie didn’t really have time to spend getting Dylan on his feet for the first time. She knew how long that process could take. Even just a few steps would be a massive task when he’d been lying in bed for so long. But there didn’t seem to be any other way this was going to happen. She nodded.
‘Any other issues?’ James asked.
‘None,’ Ellie replied.
‘All right. Dylan, if I come back tomorrow and find you haven’t at least attempted to get out of bed I’ll get you moved to another ward where you won’t have Ellie or Charlotte looking after you,’ James threatened, obviously figuring that was the way to get Dylan motivated. ‘But if you start complying with treatment you can stay here.’
By the look on Dylan’s face Ellie could tell he wasn’t sure whether he’d just won the argument or been gazumped by Dr Leonardi. In Ellie’s opinion it was Dr Leonardi 1, Dylan 0.
When James finished his rounds and left the ward Ellie felt as though he’d taken some of her energy with him, although a hint of his fresh lime scent remained, tantalising her senses.
She threw herself into the morning’s work, hoping that if she kept busy she wouldn’t have time to think about Dr Leonardi. Wouldn’t have time to think about his chocolate eyes and how they’d watched every move she’d made. Wouldn’t have time to think about those full lips and how they’d curled into a smile when she’d said something that had amused him, and she wouldn’t have time to think about the throbbing she felt in the air when she was near him or the way it pulsed through her body when he touched her.
In some ways she hoped his effect on her would wear off as he spent more time on the ward. Maybe it would fade away and she’d be able to work in peace. But a part of her enjoyed the buzz he gave her, the feeling of danger, as though he was forbidden fruit.
Maybe that was the attraction, the exact thing that had got people into trouble all through the ages—wanting something they couldn’t have. After her disastrous fling with Rob she wasn’t going to get involved with someone on the orthopaedic ward again. Not ever.
She’d just have to ignore those feelings, she told herself. That would be the sensible thing to do.
‘Ellie? Are you awake?’
‘Come in, Jess.’
The door opened. ‘Good, you’re up. Do you want to come for a walk with me?’
Ellie looked at her watch. Ten past eight.
‘Now?’ she said.
‘Please,’ Jess begged as she pulled Ellie’s curtains back. ‘Adam’s home again and I don’t want to be here when he gets up.’
Now the early morning walk made sense. Ellie knew Jess wouldn’t want to confront whoever it was who had kept Adam company last night. Their house belonged to Adam and the fifth bedroom was his to use whenever he was in Sydney. His work as a surgeon with Operation New Faces had him travelling around the world but when he was home there was always an endless stream of girls in and out of his bed, and Ellie knew Jess found that upsetting. Being reminded of Adam’s casual attitude to relationships was almost more than Jess could handle and she hated having to play nice whenever her path crossed with one of his many women.
‘Okay,’ Ellie conceded, ‘give me a minute to get dressed.’ Her room was flooded with light. It was going to be a beautiful day and she may as well get up and enjoy it. She climbed out of bed and pulled on underwear, a sports singlet and shorts. She’d shower later. She went to the mirror to brush her hair and tied it back into a ponytail. She rubbed sunscreen over her skin and grabbed a hat and her sunglasses. She was ready.
A light northerly breeze was blowing along the foreshore as Ellie and Jess crossed Arden Street and headed for the path that hugged the beach. The morning sun was warm on Ellie’s skin with enough heat in it to make the breeze feel pleasant instead of uncomfortable.
A low stone wall separated the beach from the path and Ellie and Jess had to dodge joggers and dog walkers as they headed north. At this early hour the only people who were up were people who had a reason to be—people who wanted to get their morning exercise in or who had young children. The lawn area was teeming with families and there were even some keen ones on the beach, building sandcastles and swimming.
Ellie kept her gaze averted from the young families. She didn’t need a reminder of what she was missing. Since breaking up with Rob, she’d decided she would bide her time before starting another relationship. She’d had a few intense, short-lived relationships in the past year and she’d thought having a self-enforced break would be a good idea.
‘Perhaps I should get a dog,’ she said to Jess.
‘What are you talking about?’
Ellie waved a hand in the general direction of the other pedestrians. ‘Everyone here has either got kids or a dog. If I’m not going to have kids, maybe a dog is a good alternative. Lots of people do that.’
‘Since when aren’t you having kids?’ Jess asked.
‘Well, I won’t be having any in the near future so a dog might be a good alternative,’ she explained. ‘Besides you know how, when you want something really badly, it seems to take for ever to happen and how, if you stop wanting it, it falls into your lap? Maybe, if I decide to get a dog, I’ll meet the man who will be the father of my children just because I’ve replaced the idea of kids with the reality of a dog.’
‘I don’t get that logic at all,’ Jess replied, and Ellie caught her sideways look, the one that said she thought her friend might be going mad. ‘I think we need to walk a bit faster. We need to get to Bondi and see the backpackers—the young, single crowd who don’t have kids or a dog. That’s another reality, you know. Anyway, I thought you were taking a break from the dating scene.’
‘I am,’ Ellie replied, but even as she uttered the words she knew she could be tempted out of her self-imposed ban very quickly and it was all because of James Leonardi. Since he’d arrived at Eastern Beaches, on the orthopaedic ward, her hormones had gone into overdrive. She was overwhelmingly aware of him and his presence reminded her that she loved being in a relationship. Loved the idea of being in love. ‘I think what I’m trying to say is that perhaps if I stop trying to find my ideal man, he might find me.’
Jess nodded. ‘That makes a bit more sense but, you know what, I think you might just need to revise your definition of your perfect man. You might not want to hear this but I think you’ve been looking at the wrong type of men.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’ve always gone for the guys who appeared sensible and mature, older than you, ones who you think might be ready to settle down, without really worrying about what they’re like. Maybe you should try dating someone your own age.’
‘What’s age got to do with it? Cort’s older than Ruby and you’re still lusting after Adam, who’s older than you too, why do I have to date the young ones?’ Ellie argued.
‘Maybe not too young but maybe you should look for someone who’s not so serious and staid, someone who knows how to have a good time, less of a father figure.’
Ellie frowned. ‘Is that what you think I’ve been doing?’
‘I think you’re looking for someone to be the father of your children but I also think you want someone who will take care of you,’ Jess explained. ‘You don’t need that, you can take care of yourself. I think you should choose a man because he’s a good man, not because you think he’ll make a good father. Look for someone who you can have a bit of fun with. You don’t need to rush into the whole marriage and babies thing. You’re still young. Relax.’ Jess stopped talking as they walked up a steep stretch of path but as soon as they were on a downhill slope again she continued. ‘If I told you your ideal man was waiting around the corner for you, tell me what you’d want to see.’
That was easy. ‘Taller than me,’ Ellie said, ‘maybe a bit older, fit but not with weightlifter muscles, more of a runner’s physique.’ So what if her description was an identical match to James Leonardi? Surely there were plenty of other men who could be described in the same fashion!
‘And what would he be like?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, does he make you laugh or does he take life very seriously? Could he be divorced? Already have kids? Do you want a professional or someone who has a job where they get dirty? A dog person or a cat person? Tea or coffee drinker?’
They’d reached Gordon’s Bay and turned for the trip home. As they walked down the hill around the northern end of Coogee Bay, past Rob’s apartment building, Ellie quickened her pace, not slowing until they’d made it back to the stone wall that signalled the beginning of the beach. A few fishing boats were being taken out from the fishing club and there were a couple of games of beach volleyball under way. Ellie’s attention was drawn to a game of two on two between four fit young guys. They were all wearing board shorts without shirts, their bodies tanned and firm in the morning sun. A few steps closer and Ellie’s heart began to race in her chest. There was something familiar about one of them.
Olive skin, dark hair, a lithe frame. Her fictitious ideal man. James Leonardi.
He had his back to them and his calf muscles bulged as he propelled himself off the sand and into the air to block a ball at the net. His block was successful and Ellie watched as he high-fived his partner and waited for the ball to be returned. He scooped it up and prepared to serve. He tossed the ball high and raised his arms in the air as he hit it over the net. Ellie could see the muscles of his back ripple with the movement. She’d seen his face in profile as he’d served the ball over the net but, even without that glimpse, Ellie knew it was him, she could feel it. That humming in the air was back, getting louder as she got closer. Her senses were on high alert. The sun was a bit brighter, the tang of the sea a bit saltier, the air a bit warmer, but the sounds of the other people had faded a little. The humming was drowning the other sounds out.
‘Well? What do you think?’ Jess was still waiting for Ellie to answer her questions.
Without a trace of a doubt Ellie knew what she wanted. He was right there, in front of her.
As vaguely as she could, she answered Jess’s last question. She tried not to watch James as she spoke but it was hard to keep her attention focussed elsewhere. ‘He has a smile that could brighten any day. He should have a job he enjoys but he doesn’t necessarily have to wear a suit and a tie to work. He needs to like being active, a physical kind of guy, but he’d have to smell nice. He needs a sense of humour and he needs to love his family. He doesn’t need to have his life all mapped out but he would need to know how to treat a woman and he must be prepared to only date one woman at a time.’
Ellie wasn’t sure if James qualified for any of those things, for all she knew he was already married with half a dozen children, but surely with that smouldering, Latin thing he had going on, not to mention the look he had in his eye, she was willing to bet he’d taken his fair share of women to bed, and she was willing, if he was available, to put her hand up to join that list. He could be her experiment, she decided. She could try choosing a man first and looking for a father for her future children second. She could live in the moment for a change. She didn’t have to fall in love with him.
She managed to position herself between Jess and the beach so she was able to keep one eye on the volleyball, and on James, as they walked past. With her hair tied back and hidden underneath a cap she didn’t think he’d recognise her so she thought she could check him out from behind her dark glasses. As they drew level he bent down to pick up the ball and Ellie felt safe enough to let her eyes run over him. His shorts pulled taut over his legs and butt as he squatted down to the sand and his biceps flexed as he retrieved the ball. As he straightened up he looked directly at her. Ellie had thought he wouldn’t recognise her but he paused in mid-action and stood still, only for a second or two but Ellie knew that in that space of time he’d known it was her. She quickly averted her gaze and hurried past. She felt as though he could read her mind and she definitely did not want him to know what she was thinking.
She kept walking, resisting the urge to turn around as she and Jess continued on to the kiosk by the beach stairs where they stopped for coffee. While they waited for their orders to be filled she wondered whether she’d lost her mind. She was supposed to be getting her life into order and taking stock of her goals, not thinking about ripping the clothes of a virtual stranger.
She must be mad to think about James Leonardi at all. Dating was supposed to be off her list and dating another doctor from the same department would definitely be asking for trouble. But there was something irresistible about him. Not just his looks or the powerful, passionate vibe he exuded; it had something to do with that strange humming sensation, that magnetic pull that seemed to draw her to him. Even now, she knew she could turn around and instantly find him in a crowd. Somehow they were connected.
But she had to ignore these feelings. She kept her back turned to the beach as she waited for her coffee, resisting the urge to take just one more look. It didn’t matter how much she fancied him, James Leonardi was not for her.
CHAPTER THREE
WHEN Ellie returned to work on Tuesday it was to one of the worst shifts she’d had in a long time and it was all thanks to Rob. Mostly they’d managed to work amicably together since the demise of their affair but occasionally she seemed to be in his firing line and today was an especially bad day. She was being blamed for every little thing that went wrong—a dressing that hadn’t been changed, X-rays that had been misplaced and a blood test that had been ordered but hadn’t been done fast enough to please Rob. None of these things were actually Ellie’s tasks, she was up to her neck in admissions and discharge summaries, but Rob had decided to haul her over hot coals for the failings of the entire ward. And he wasn’t finished yet. Ellie was completing paperwork at the nurses’ station when she saw him marching towards her with a severe expression on his face. She froze, wondering what she was going to be blamed for now.
He stopped a few paces from her and snapped. ‘I just saw George Poni and his wife getting into the lift. He tells me he’s going home.’
‘Yes, I’m filing his paperwork now,’ she said, waving a hand towards the stack of papers on the desk.
‘Who said he was ready for discharge? Mr Poni is my patient.’
‘Yes, but you handed his care over to Dr. Leonardi.’ Ellie tried to keep a neutral tone.
‘I still expect the courtesy of being informed if my patients are leaving.’
First I’ve heard of it, Ellie thought, but she bit her tongue. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you wanted everything discussed with you. The physio said he was ready to leave, his mobility aids and equipment for home have been organised, I’ve made an outpatient appointment for George to see you in a fortnight and his discharge was discussed with Dr Leonardi,’ she explained. She was tired of being made a scapegoat for Rob’s bad mood today.
‘Next time I would like to be kept in the loop,’ Rob barked at her. ‘I expect to have my orders followed. Is that understood?’
I was following orders, Ellie felt like saying. You hadn’t indicated that James wasn’t to discharge your patients. She knew the appropriate discharge procedures had been followed. ‘Yes, Dr Coleman,’ she replied, hoping he’d go away and leave her alone if she didn’t argue. She couldn’t believe he was treating her this way but she was powerless to prevent his verbal lashing and he knew it. Her meek and mild attitude had the desired effect. With one final glare in her direction Rob stormed from the ward.
‘Boy, you’re in his bad books today. I’ve never seen him that irritated.’ Sarah, a first-year nursing graduate, who had been keeping her head down throughout Rob’s tirade, spoke up the moment he left. ‘What have you done to upset him?’
Ellie blinked back tears. She wasn’t going to let him get to her. She knew exactly what she’d done to annoy him. She’d gone against his wishes and she knew Rob was annoyed over her refusal to continue their relationship but she couldn’t believe he was choosing to take it out on her in this fashion. He had no cause to query her work performance; she was good at her job and she took pride in that. She knew what the problem was but there was nothing she could say, or do, that wouldn’t put her in the spotlight. She couldn’t tell anyone else why he was treating her this way. So she shrugged.
‘Maybe he just got out of the wrong side of the bed,’ she proposed.
‘I see his mood hasn’t improved at all.’
Ellie looked up from her paperwork at the sound of James’s voice. How long had he been standing there, she wondered and what had he heard? She was only just feeling brave enough to face him after seeing him at the beach on the weekend and now he’d witnessed her latest embarrassing moment. She was ready to crawl under the desk at the thought that he’d heard that exchange with Rob.
‘Any idea what that was all about?’ he asked.
He was watching her with his chocolate gaze, seemingly oblivious to her discomfort.
‘He was annoyed because George Poni has been discharged without his say-so,’ Ellie told him.
James frowned, a crease marring his smooth olive forehead. ‘I wonder why he didn’t say anything to me about that.’
Ellie shrugged. ‘Maybe I’m an easier target.’ There was no reason for anyone to think that Rob’s earlier behaviour was related to her in any way, shape or form, especially not if she appeared unfazed.
‘He was biting people’s heads off in Theatre too this morning so unless you did something to upset him before that I think you’re off the hook,’ James said.
And then he smiled at her, a wide smile that brought those lovely creases to the corners of his dark eyes. Instantly Ellie felt her confidence restored, just his presence helped to soothe her frazzled nerves and his smile almost completely eradicated all thoughts of Rob’s tirade from her mind. That hum of electricity she could feel when he was present made everything else recede. Harsh words, colleagues, nothing else seemed to matter so much and once again Ellie had to force herself to concentrate on the tasks at hand.
She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘So it’s not just me, then.’ She paused briefly and mentally crossed her fingers before asking, ‘He didn’t explain why he was so cross?’
