Lonesome Ryder: Lonesome Ryder / Restaurant Romeo

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“Just stay on guard, Seymour,” Wade cautioned. “You’ve broadened your horizons enough for the week.”

“Your concern is touching,” she said, grinning. “That’s really sweet of you, Ryder.”

“I’m anything but sweet and you know it,” he grumbled before she sauntered over to join her handsome date.

When the door closed behind them Wade swore ripely. He knew Kevin Shelton was closer to Laura’s age and more her type, but that didn’t stop him from wishing that blond knockout was on his arm tonight.

Frustrated, Wade switched to the Discovery channel to watch the next exciting installment on baboons that got liquored up on fermented fruit in the jungles and awoke with hellish hangovers.

5

WADE HOBBLED DOWN THE HALL to complain about the fact that it had been two days and Laura still hadn’t moved the furniture back to its normal arrangement. Also, she’d flung the drapes open wide—again—after Duff had driven him into town for a doctor’s appointment and a haircut. Even with the new walking cast the physician had wrapped around his leg and the lack of the sling on his arm, Wade had nearly tripped and fallen as he rounded the corner to the kitchen—again. He’d conked his head on that blasted hanging plant Laura had placed near the front door on the porch. She’d spaded up the unattended garden that encircled the front porch, planted scads of colorful flowers that attracted butterflies and humming birds. You couldn’t walk outside without getting slapped in the face with sweet scents or winged insects.

Damn it, she was turning his house into a jungle and decorating the place in a girlie manner. There were baskets of potpourri and scented candles taking up space on the end tables and coffee table. The house smelled…well, sissified. It offended his masculinity. If this kept up he wouldn’t recognize the place. The woman had definitely gone too far! He had to put a stop to it.

Already, he barely recognized Frank! Now that Laura had allowed the cow dog in the house—against his orders, he might add!—the canine rubbed up against his leg, shoved his snout under Wade’s hand and demanded to be petted. The dog was getting soft, lounging around the house instead of chasing rabbits, possums and raccoons that tried to overrun the place. Frank had been perfectly satisfied with his lot in life as a cow dog until Laura started fawning and fussing over him, feeding him doggie treats and taking him with her on long evening walks and horseback rides. Another month of this and Frank wouldn’t be worth shooting!

As for Duff, he was so besotted with “that little gal” that he’d yakkety-yakked all the way to Hoot’s Roost and back. He’d reported that Laura had been showing up on his doorstep with covered plates of roast beef, fried chicken and gravy, and stayed to polish her poker skills or practice the two-step. Wade, however, sat alone on his leather recliner, watching the boob tube and listing the reasons he should keep his distance from that woman.

Then, of course, there were Quint and Vance whose recent prank involved leaving cutout hearts made of red construction paper on the pickup seat. Earlier in the week Vance had disguised his voice and phoned to tell Wade that he’d won an all-expense-paid honeymoon vacation to the Bahamas. Wade scowled. His life was out of control and it was Laura’s fault.

Wade pulled up short in the hall when he heard Laura’s cell phone ring while she was putting away his laundry.

“Hello, handsome,” she said cheerily. “How’ve you been?”

Handsome? Who the hell was she talking to this time? He’d heard Laura answer her phone the previous day with: “Hi, gorgeous? How are you, Jerret?” How many men did this bombshell keep on a string at one time?

“My job is going fine. I figured you’d call as soon as you got my postcard from my new residence in Oklahoma,” she said, then paused when the man—obviously—on the other end of the line inserted a comment. “Who? Wade Ryder? The old rancher I’m working for? Are you kidding?”

Old? Wade winced. She thought he was old? The eight years separating them wasn’t so much, was it? To hear her talk, Wade was fast approaching his golden years.

“No, he isn’t much trouble,” Laura insisted. “I stir up oatmeal so he can gum it for breakfast. For lunch I open a can of soup, mash it up and serve it to him. I put a bib around his neck so he doesn’t dribble all over his clothes.”

Gum it? Wear a bib? Hell! Wade smoldered in offended dignity. Obviously she didn’t want her boyfriend to fret about male competition.

“Don’t be absurd, Davie. The man has a broken leg, a sprained wrist and bruised ribs. He can’t chase me around the kitchen and he certainly couldn’t catch me. I’m perfectly safe. Stop stewing…So how are things in Denver?”

No doubt Laura had left more than one lover behind in Colorado. Then, of course, there was that “hot date” Laura had accepted with Kevin Shelton and met up with Annie Nelson and her twerp boyfriend on Saturday night. Wade was thankful he hadn’t allowed himself to succumb to the need to kiss Laura back. It sounded as if she delighted in playing the field and keeping all her options open…just like Bobbie Lynn.

The thought caused Wade’s brow to pucker in annoyance. His instincts were right on target. He’d known this situation with Laura had Waterloo written all over it from the beginning. It was a damn good thing he’d kept his distance, even if his physical attraction to her was driving him nuts.

“Of course, I’ll come back to Denver before I start teaching in the fall,” Laura assured the caller, then paused to listen a moment. “I already told you I’m not falling for this old fogy rancher. He’s a grouch, among other things, so stop worrying about me, will you?”

Wade grimaced. If Laura thought he was an old coot and big grump, why had she kissed him that day in the kitchen? He’d thought there’d been some kind of connection between them. Something like, oh, say, mutual attraction. Apparently she’d just been toying with him.

Wade was still standing in the hall, simmering in irritation when Laura said, “I love you, too, Davie,” then disconnected. Before Wade could regain his composure and step around the corner her phone rang again. Man, she had men lined up like jets on a runway, didn’t she?

“Hi, Everett. I’ve been expecting your call. How was your trip?…Yes, Mr. Ryder is doing better.” She sighed audibly in response to whatever lover boy Everett had to say. “Will you stop freaking out? Nothing is going on here. Mr. Ryder doesn’t even like me so you can quit thinking I’m being mauled on a regular basis.”

Obviously Everett asked for a description of Wade because Laura said, “Oh, he’s a shriveled-looking old guy with ill-fitting dentures and a cast on one leg. He went to the doctor for a checkup, so he no longer has the sling on his arm, just a bandage on his sprained wrist. He wears faded overalls, has a patch over one eye from cataract surgery and his steel-wool-gray hair stands out every which way from his head. Are you satisfied now that nothing is going on between us?”

Wade gnashed his teeth until he nearly ground off the enamel. Laura was painting quite an unattractive picture of him so her boyfriend wouldn’t be jealous. Of course, Dear Everett probably had no idea that he was her third caller in two days and that she’d painted the town red with the high school history teacher.

“I love you, too, Everett,” she murmured then hung up.

Wade gathered a full head of steam, prepared to light into Laura for the furniture arrangement, candles, potpourri and frothy green plants that littered the house and the front and back porches. And he couldn’t forget those uncomplimentary descriptions of him. He didn’t even make it into the room before that blasted cell phone rang again. Hell, he was going to have to make an appointment to bite her head off.

“Hi, Michael. I’ve been expecting your call,” she enthused. “I miss you, too…. Oh, God, you didn’t!”

Wade waited expectantly, wondering what Dear Michael had done that provoked her disapproval.

“I can’t believe you did that!” she huffed. “Of course, Wade Ryder doesn’t have a criminal record. He’s a rancher not a bank robber.”

Wade’s eyes popped. This boyfriend was so paranoid that he had Wade checked out? Man, talk about thorough, suspicious and excessively jealous!

“Well, that must’ve been a typo,” Laura said into the phone. “He’s not thirty-three. He’s eighty-three. He wears hearing aids and I have to yell so he can understand what I’m saying to him. He has no hair, wears eyeglasses as thick as ice cubes and has very few teeth. His favorite friend in the whole world is his dog. Now, do you really think I’m going to have romantic notions about the man?…I’m perfectly safe here and I’ll be back in Colorado for a week before the fall session of school starts. In the meantime, you need to get a grip, Michael. I’m not falling in love with Wade Ryder so you can calm down and relax.”

Wade didn’t wait for Laura to disconnect because he figured he’d have to barge in before another incoming call demanded her attention. The moment Laura realized he’d been standing in the hall, eavesdropping on her conversations, her face turned a fascinating shade of guilty-as-hell red. His condemning gaze locked on her and he didn’t let her off the hook when she flashed him a blinding smile.

“Bald? Toothless? Gums his food?” Wade gritted out.

Her chin came up and she stared defiantly at him. “You have no room to complain, Ryder. Duff said that you told Vance and Quint that I can’t cook, don’t clean and that I sleep until nine, at which time you wake me up to fix your meal.”

“Well, that’s different,” he muttered.

“How are your white lies different from mine?” she asked, arching a challenging brow.

“I’m trying to get rid of you since you won’t quit.”

“And I’m trying to reassure Michael, David, Everett and Jerret that nothing is going on between us so they’ll stop worrying about me.”

“Just how many lovers do you usually keep on a fishing stringer at a time?” he asked brusquely.

“None,” she replied just as brusquely.

“Oh, really? Then what was that ‘Hi, handsome’ and ‘Hello, gorgeous’ all about?” he challenged.

Laura spun around to stuff Wade’s clean briefs in the dresser drawer. “I have four overprotective brothers who happen to be every bit as handsome as you are—”

Laura slammed her mouth shut and darted him an embarrassed glance. She hadn’t intended to let her tongue loose without first engaging her brain. Wade stared at her, flashing a rare smile, undoubtedly gloating over her unintentional compliment. As if he didn’t already know he was drop-dead handsome, the jerk.

“You think I’m handsome?” he asked. “Without hair or teeth? Wearing overalls and listening to you yell at me because I’m hard of hearing? I gotta tell ya, Seymour, with you it’s hard to separate the lies from the truth. So what is the truth? Were those your boyfriends or your brothers?”

Laura shoved the dresser drawer shut with her hip and stamped over to the walk-in closet to hang up his chambray shirts. “They are my older brothers. My mom died when I was six and I lost Dad when I was twelve. My brothers taught me to work, but when it comes to friendships and relationships they watch over me like mother hens, because my dad made them promise to take care of me. I can’t even turn around without one of my brothers looking over my shoulder, checking on me, telling me what to do and how to do it.”

“So you packed up and moved to Hoot’s Roost and you’re bustin’ loose in Oklahoma with your newfound liberation,” he presumed. “You’re trying your hand at poker, beer and cigars because your brothers aren’t around to advise you against it?”

“Precisely.” Laura strode from the closet to pluck up two pairs of jeans that had the left leg whacked off at the knee to accommodate Wade’s cast. “My brothers are afraid I’ll fall for some jerk who doesn’t deserve me while they aren’t around to screen my dates and do background checks. My mistake was actually giving them your name. I should’ve lied about that, too, so Michael couldn’t run your criminal record.” She glanced at him sweetly. “But it’s nice to know you aren’t a convicted rapist or murderer.”

“Just a grouch,” he remarked, smiling grudgingly.

“Right, Mr. McGrump, so what do you want for lunch?”

“Fried crow, maybe,” he said. “I guess you aren’t some floozy who toys with men.”

Laura nearly fell over when Wade smiled at her again. This was a genuine, good-natured, peace-treaty smile and it made her weak in the knees. Her heart somersaulted around her chest, making it difficult to breathe normally.