скачать книгу бесплатно
When Tara took the cup and sipped, John waved Maureen back into the house. He looked down at the woman who was curled up at his feet. “I assume your grave secret is that you have a tendency toward madness.” He was giving her a way out. He wondered if she’d take it. When she shook her head, he was confident he could trust her with his secrets.
After Tara regained a semblance of composure and slumped beside him on the bench, she glanced at him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“I suspect your week has been as long and stressful as mine, Irish. If I could reduce myself to busting a gut laughing, without splitting a stitch, I’d like to try it. That looked like fun.”
“It was, actually. Discovering that you don’t exist stuck me as hilarious. You’re entirely too real to be a figment of anyone’s imagination.”
“There really is no John Wolfe,” he repeated. “I was born white, captured by the Apache at the age of ten and rigorously trained to become one of the elite group of warriors who were sent on the most dangerous missions. I lived with my clan, accompanied them on raids against invading hordes of Spaniards, Mexicans and whites, and then I was confined to the reservation. The fact is I’ll always be more Apache than white.”
“Captured?” The laughter in her eyes died.
“Rescued would probably be more accurate. My father was a drunken prospector. An Apache hunting party overtook us while he was beating me, as he had a habit of doing on a regular basis. My ability to speak English made me useful to the Apache, who were dealing with whites more often than they preferred. I was taught the Apache dialect, as well as Spanish. In turn, I was instructed to teach Chief Gray Eagle and his family to speak English. Being the only white captive in our clan, I was often called upon to translate during conferences with the army. Because of the color of my eyes, Chief Gray Eagle always kept me conveniently obscured from the soldiers because he considered me too valuable an asset to release.”
“What is your Indian name?” she asked.
“White Wolf.”
“And your white name?”
He hadn’t spoken his given name in twenty years. It felt unfamiliar as it tumbled off his tongue. “Daniel Braxton.”
Why he had gotten sidetracked with particulars of his life that he hadn’t divulged to anyone else, he couldn’t say. What was there about this woman that drew his confidence? he wondered. He truly was treating her like a friend—the first he’d had in years.
“That explains why an Apache warrior has silver-blue eyes rather than dark ones,” she said thoughtfully. “That’s also why townsfolk praise your legendary skills and instincts. According to gossip around Rambler Springs, you’re part bloodhound. Your success rate in tracking and apprehending criminals is incredible, bordering on supernatural.”
“It’s the result of years of meticulous Apache training,” he explained. “It’s a culture of introspect, reflection and a life closely attuned to nature. Whites get too caught up in the acquisition of property and wealth to fully understand who they are and how they fit into the world around them.
“I cannot begin to explain the torment of knowing my white ancestors are responsible for the atrocities committed against the Apache, and vice versa. It’s like straddling a picket fence, uncertain which culture is my true enemy. But I do know that if the truth is revealed, I’ll be jailed and sentenced by the white courts because I was involved in retaliations against whites who committed unspeakable atrocities against the Apache.”
Her expression turned compassionate. To his surprise, she reached out to touch his hand, which had involuntarily curled into a fist—an outward manifestation of his inner turmoil.
“I’m sorry, John. I promise that your secret is safe with me. I’m most thankful that I was able to save such a unique man.”
An unfamiliar lump formed in his throat. She accepted his explanation, accepted him, without making judgments. He didn’t elaborate on the particulars of his life story, didn’t want to disturb this unexpected sense of peace and contentment that stole over him. He’d never experienced anything quite like the sensations thrumming through him. He simply sat there, surrounded by the towering sandstone walls of the canyon, absorbing the tranquility of the moment and enjoying the breath of wind stirring through the trees.
Suddenly he realized just how badly he needed this hiatus in the place Tara called Paradise Valley. Being here with her and the children, in this spectacular location, was like lingering at an oasis after a grueling walk in the desert sun.
“Now that you’ve revealed your truths, I’m obliged to reveal mine,” Tara murmured as she withdrew her hand. “It’s ironic that you’re the one man who poses the greatest threat to my existence, and yet we’re exchanging confidences.”
She swallowed uneasily, because she’d never confided this tale to another living soul. Certainly, the children in her care knew fragments of the story, but they didn’t know the whole truth.
“My parents immigrated to Boston,” she began quietly. “I lost them in a flu epidemic and I nearly died myself. I had no other family to take me in and I was forced to live a hand-to-mouth existence in the streets and alleys with several other children who found themselves in the same predicament. We begged for food and picked pockets to survive…until one night when three policemen swarmed in and gathered up the strays. The older, more experienced street urchins managed to vanish in the network of alleys, but I was frail and sickly, like little Flora, at the time. I was taken to an orphanage, given a cot, a ration of food and hand-me-down clothes that were so thin from numerous washings that it was like being naked during the cold winter months.”
Tara darted a glance at John. He was staring intently at her again. She swore she’d never met another living soul who listened with such concentrated absorption. He didn’t even blink an eye when she admitted to stealing to survive.
“Occasionally families visited the orphanage to take children into their homes, but I was always overlooked. I guess they considered me too old to be trainable, too frail to put in a hard day’s work.”
“Which is why, I suspect, little Flora and Calvin are in your care. You see yourself in them, don’t you?” he asked.
Tara nodded. “Flora was just an infant when her mother, the daughter of a wealthy family, brought her to the orphanage. The woman was unmarried and feared wrath and disinheritance.
“Calvin was left alone when his parents were killed in the carriage accident that mangled his leg and scarred his chin. Maureen couldn’t speak a word for the first two years she lived in the orphanage. The caretakers thought she was a deaf-mute, because she made no contact with anyone. Thankfully, she’s emerged from her shell. But to this day she refuses to speak of whatever tragedy landed her at the orphanage.
“As for Samuel and Derek, they know nothing of their heritage, nor do I. They simply arrived in the dark of night as young children. They were already there when I was taken into the orphanage. You wouldn’t know by looking at them now, but they were sickly, weak and shamefully unsure of themselves.”
Tara took a sip of water, then continued. “When the time came, we were scrubbed and dressed in an exceptionally better set of hand-me-downs than what we usually wore. We were hustled aboard a westbound train without being informed of our destination or purpose. We stopped in nameless towns in Missouri and were herded into local churches. Like livestock on the auction block, we were presented for adoption. Many of the younger children were carted off to foster homes.”
“But not frail-looking Flora or crippled Calvin,” John surmised.
“No, the six of us were rejected for one reason or another, so we returned to the train and ventured into Texas. When the train pulled into a dusty cow town there, we were the only ones left. A man who owned a fleabag hotel notorious for housing rowdy drifters took in Flora and Maureen. Although they were young—especially Flora—they were put to work cleaning and sweeping. The boys ended up working for a cantankerous farmer who practiced your father’s technique of controlling and disciplining children.”
“And you, Irish?” he questioned. “How old were you at the time?”
Leave it to this man to poke and pry into places she planned to skip over with only the briefest of explanation. “I wasn’t quite eighteen,” she told him reluctantly.
“Marrying age,” he murmured shrewdly.
“Something like that,” she replied, unable to meet his perceptive gaze. “I was taken in by a rancher who claimed he needed a foster child capable of caring for his ailing wife.”
John hadn’t liked the sound of this story from the beginning. It was growing more distasteful by the minute. The fact that Tara’s expression had closed up, that she was suddenly holding herself upright on the bench, keeping a stranglehold on the cup of water and staring sightlessly at the canyon walls, alerted him that the rancher had had unseemly designs on her. An unfamiliar sense of rage swept through John, momentarily overriding the nagging pain in his rib and thigh.
“There was no ailing wife, was there?” he said through clenched teeth.
She didn’t answer for a moment, didn’t glance his direction. Finally she said, “There was a gravesite on the far side of the garden.” She shivered slightly, cleared her throat, then continued. “There were also metal cuffs dangling from the headboard and footboard of his bed.”
John felt as if someone had gut-punched him. Damn it to hell, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know what came next. In fact, he refused to hear and he didn’t want to imagine what Tara had endured, so he leaped ahead to spare her the telling.
“So I assume you regathered the children from their various residences and decided to make a new life together.”
She breathed a relieved sigh and smiled ruefully. “Yes, the children are now my family, and I promised to make a home for them. We hopped a cattle train and followed the rails west as far as they went. For three months we wandered like nomads, feeding off the land, living for short periods of time at missions and in abandoned shacks along the way—wherever we found shelter. We gathered stray livestock that we encountered along our route through New Mexico Territory and we took temporary employment where we could, but we never stayed in one place long enough to become acquainted with anyone. We traveled into towns in separate groups so as not to arouse suspicion or raise questions we didn’t want to answer.”
It occurred to John that Tara might’ve done something in the past that made her fearful he’d cause trouble for her. In spite of that, she’d taken him into the fold and nursed him back to health. That said a great deal about her character—and she had considerably more character than most folks.
“When we happened onto this canyon, with its rundown buildings, I knew this was where we belonged. I knew that with hard work and determination I could make a real home for the children. This is the place of permanence, stability and security none of us ever had.”
When she turned toward him, John could feel the intensity and determination radiating from her. “This family of cast-off children, who have been rejected more times than I care to count, will have a full understanding of belonging. They’ll feel a strong sense of welcome and acceptance. They’ll be confident that when they set off to find their places in this world, I’ll be here to welcome them back with open arms.”
When she stood up and strode off to attend her limitless chores, his gaze followed her until she disappeared into the root cellar. Tara didn’t hang around long enough for John to caution her about setting her sights on this canyon as a permanent home. This part of the territory, though it had escaped violence in recent years, was becoming a hotbed of criminal activity because of the silver and copper mines discovered in the area. Gangs of ruthless outlaws preyed on prospectors and anyone else who provided easy pickings. Tara and the children wouldn’t stand a chance against men like the outlaws Raven had fallen in with.
Although John knew it wouldn’t be easy, he had to convince Tara to move into town where there was more protection. That was one conversation he wasn’t looking forward to, especially now that he knew she’d put down roots and had no intention of leaving. No doubt he and Tara were destined to butt heads about that.
Chapter Four
Tara inhaled several cathartic breaths and stared at the rows of canned fruits and vegetables stored in the root cellar. Skirting so close to the unnerving incident with the cruel, demented Texas rancher unearthed emotions she preferred to forget. The retelling of the story had taken its toll. Flashbacks of the night when she’d fought for her life left her shaken.
When it came right down to it, she couldn’t bring herself to reveal her deepest, darkest secret to John. Amazingly, he hadn’t pried for details. He’d handed her a weapon that would expose him, if she chose to reveal his true identity, but he hadn’t demanded the same kind of weapon to use against her. Why not? she wondered.
Tara snatched up a jar of jelly and a can of corn, then asked herself how in the world she and John had gotten so personal so quickly. They’d been verbally sparring, then wham! They were confiding in each other like lifelong friends. In a way, she felt guilty that she hadn’t told him the very worst of her experiences in Texas, especially when he’d held nothing back. He’d taken mercy on her, and she couldn’t puzzle out why. This legendary lawman, who had undoubtedly seen more violence in a month than she wanted to witness in a lifetime, had given her an easy way out. She could’ve hugged the stuffing out of him for that.
Her respect for John multiplied, which was a shame, because Tara had the unmistakable feeling she already liked the man more than she should. They’d be no more than confidants and friends. Permitting this liaison to progress any further was an invitation to heartache. Tara had had enough of that in her lifetime. She’d suffered enough feelings of disappointment, inadequacy and rejection without inviting more of the same.
After giving herself that silent lecture, she lurched around and headed to the house to prepare lunch. To her amazement she found the children inside with John, who’d propped himself up on his improvised crutch, fashioned by Samuel from a tree limb. John was mixing up hooligan stew—which none of the children had heard of. A little of this and that, he said as he added ingredients he found in the cabinet. Tara stood aside and watched him take command of this troop of children, giving soft-spoken orders that had the youngsters hopping to do his bidding.
And later, while he sat at the head of the table, passing around food with his good arm, he began spinning yarns of an Apache legend that held the children captivated. It was the Indian version of creation, and it held Tara spellbound as well. Tara wondered why John was passing down the legends, then decided that he didn’t feel comfortable speaking of his Apache upbringing while he wandered among white society beyond the boundaries of Paradise Valley. Here he could be all he was, without fear of exposure to the outside world. In addition, she suspected he didn’t want these children to grow up with prejudices against the Indian cultures. He was, she decided, attempting to change one youthful mind at a time.
Tara had to admit that Apache philosophy was very sound, practical and down to earth. She sensed there was something else, something very subtle, going on here, but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was.
After the meal John announced that he was taking the children on an excursion around the canyon to acquaint them with some of the herbs that served medicinal and nutritional purposes. Tara protested that the exertion of hiking might cause a setback in his condition, but he shrugged away her concerns for his welfare. While the children were cleaning up after the meal, John gestured for her to follow him into the bedroom. Curiously, she watched him limp inside, then close the door behind them.
“What are you up to, O great warrior, White Wolf?” she asked without preamble.
He smiled indulgently. “Something you said earlier got me to thinking.”
“I hope that isn’t a bad thing—you thinking, that is,” she teased.
He cocked a thick brow. “You’re in an odd mood, Irish.”
“What can I say? I’m an odd person.” And for the life of her she didn’t know what to make of the comments flying from her mouth. Maybe it was the fact that she was unaccustomed to relating to someone other than the children. With John, she felt herself assuming an entirely different role. She wondered if her attitude and response to him was some sort of strange defense mechanism. After all, the better she got to know this man the more she liked him. And that might not be such a good thing, because his presence here was temporary and her growing fascination with him might become much too permanent.
“The point here is that you mentioned sending the children out in the world to find their place and make lives for themselves. It occurred to me that I could repay your kindness by teaching them the knowledge I’ve gained from my Apache training. There are resources of food, medicine and means of protection in the wilds that I can show them. It also occurs to me that I can share the responsibility for these children while I’m here and give you some time to yourself.”
Tara gaped at him. “Time to myself? What an utterly foreign concept. I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with myself without children underfoot.”
“You can start by taking a nap,” he suggested. “On your own bed, not in the hayloft. Then try something as decadent as lounging in a chair and daydreaming.”
Her gaze narrowed suspiciously on him. “And what is the purpose of this?”
“Getting to know yourself,” he replied. “It’s part of the Apache philosophy I mentioned to the children. From what you told me, and what I’ve witnessed, you simply live to serve and care for these children.”
She stiffened defensively. “I told you why. I want them to overcome their feelings of rejection. I want them to feel wanted, needed and loved.”
“You’ve accomplished that,” he stated. “So it behooves you to regenerate your own energy. Take a nap.”
“I quit taking orders two years ago,” she told him. “I didn’t like it then, and I don’t care much for it now.”
“Really? It hardly even shows.” He chuckled, despite her annoyed frown.
“All right, Mr. Marshal, you baby-sit and I’ll lounge around. But don’t get to thinking that while you’re here recuperating you always get to be the boss.”
He opened his mouth to reply and must’ve thought better of it because he clamped those full, sensual lips together and stared thoughtfully at her. When he hobbled out of the room, Tara sank down on the foot of her bed, wondering what she was going to do with herself for an hour or two. She was in the habit of rising at dawn and working nonstop until she collapsed in exhaustion at night. She’d never pampered herself a single day in her life and wouldn’t know how to start!
“Don’t plan supper,” he added as he poked his head back inside the room. “I’ll teach the kids to hunt. We’ll return with the meal in hand and prepare it ourselves. The rest of the day belongs to you, Irish. Enjoy it.”
“The whole rest of the day?” she echoed bewilderedly.
“I’m giving you a long-needed break from your routine,” he insisted.
With that, he closed the door. Tara flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Take a nap? In the middle of the day…? That was the last thought to flit through her mind before she drifted off to sleep.
Although his leg ached fiercely, and it felt as if someone was trying to pry apart his ribs with a crowbar, John hobbled back through the canyon while the children bounded around him. Their survival excursion had been a success. John had pointed out a variety of plants and explained how each herb served as a remedy or as food, and how to tell which plants were which. Paradise Valley was a veritable greenhouse of roots, seeds and bark that the Apache used to treat maladies and to season food.
John had also directed the children’s attention to a mesquite tree and informed them that it was referred to as the Apache survival tree because it served so many useful purposes. From it a man could acquire food and medicine. The tree limbs could be burned in winter without drawing unwanted attention because the wood gave off very little smoke. Since the fragrant mesquite flowers attracted bees, the tree was also a reliable source of honey. The pods and beans could be used for flavoring, for eating or fermented for drinks. The leaves, he’d told the youngsters, were used for making tea and poultices. The gum of the tree could be applied to wounds and sores or even boiled to make candy.
All the while that John was pointing out ways to survive off the land, the children were amazingly attentive and treated him as if he were a part of their family circle. He never thought he’d experience that feeling again after he’d sneaked away from the reservation. But here, living in this space out of time, he felt as if he truly belonged somewhere. It was a most gratifying feeling—
Whoa, don’t get sentimentally attached, John cautioned himself as he stared at the cabin in the distance. He had a mission to conduct, as soon as he was able. Any emotion these children stirred in him must be restrained.
John didn’t lead the kind of life that invited tender feelings. Just look what had happened when he let emotion cloud his judgment during his disastrous confrontation with Raven. John knew damned well and good that a cornered Apache—even a blood brother—was the most dangerous of enemies. Feelings had gotten in John’s way and he’d nearly paid for the mistake with his life. He had to erect an emotional barrier between himself and these adorable kids or he’d be reduced to a useless mass of sentimental mush.
Loaded down with wild potatoes, grapes and the rabbits that he and the children had snared without using noisy weapons that attracted unwanted visitors, John halted near the cabin to show the boys how to build a small mesquite campfire to roast the meat, while the girls trooped inside to steam the wild vegetables.
With his leg throbbing in rhythm with his pulse, his ribs burning fiercely, John decided he’d overdone it—and then some. He crawled onto his pallet to catch some shuteye before the children served up supper.
Feeling amazingly relaxed and refreshed, Tara returned from a leisurely bath at one of the secluded springs on the west end of the canyon. The trickling waterfall that cascaded over a stairway of rocks was like her private corner of heaven. That, coupled with an hour’s nap, made her feel like a new woman.
As John had suggested, she’d gone searching for herself, never realizing she was lost because she’d never devoted any time whatsoever to herself. She still might’ve been sprawled in the shallow stone pool if a tarantula in search of a drink hadn’t crawled over her arm.
Tara pulled up short when she spied the boys gathered around a small campfire in front of the cabin. Ah yes, she’d almost forgotten that White Wolf’s warriors-in-training were in charge of supper. From the tantalizing aromas drifting toward her, this meal was going to be worth the wait. Her stomach growled in eager anticipation.
“Feeling better?” Samuel asked when he noticed her. She smiled and nodded.”
“Good. After your hyena seizure we were worried about you.”
“Yes, well, John said something that struck me funny,” she hedged. “I wouldn’t actually call that a seizure.”
“Sure you’re okay?” Derek questioned, studying her astutely.
“Peachy perfect,” she enthused. “Where are the girls?”
“Cooking the vegetables we gathered in the wilds,” Calvin replied. “This is gonna be a humdinger meal.”
“No doubt.” Tara noticed the sense of confidence and accomplishment the boys exuded after their afternoon with John. His attempt to teach self-reliance was obviously a smashing success. Even young Calvin, who was usually self-conscious about his limp, was practically strutting around the campfire like one of the roosters. Of course, she didn’t think Samuel and Derek needed more spring in their cocky strides. The boys—young men; how could she keep forgetting?—had been exhibiting all the signs of rebellious adolescence for the past six months.
Samuel squinted skyward. “According to the location of the sun, it must be about five o’clock,” he announced with all the authority of an expert astronomer. “Supper should be ready in an hour.”
“It’s more like five-thirty, I’d say,” Derek argued.
“As if you’d know, squirt,” Samuel said, then snorted.
Suddenly, a scuffle erupted, though Tara couldn’t say exactly how it happened or why. One minute the boys were chitchatting, and then wham! Fists were flying. One fist caught Derek in the nose. He yelped in pain and outrage, then launched himself forward to tackle Samuel so he could pop him in the eye.
“Stop it!” Tara shouted.
They didn’t cease and desist, but rolled in the grass, growling and snarling like panthers in the heat of battle. One clenched fist flew, then another. Muttered curses erupted.
“That’s enough!” The booming male voice came from the front porch.
Tara lurched around to see John propped on his improvised crutch, glaring pitchforks at the boys. His raven hair was standing on end.
