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Connor didn’t see the huge problem in telling his grandmother anything at all. After all, Gram had told him to get courting. Perhaps she hadn’t meant quite this quickly, but Johanna Madsen was a practical woman. She’d figure out the truth very quickly. She was the one who had put him in this position, so she could say nothing about how he handled it.
Thankfully, he knew that Gram wasn’t too hung up on conventionalities. But, more than that, Gram was the only family he had left. His honor, his family loyalty, demanded he be honest and upfront about it.
“She’s all I have, Alex.” He studied the ornery set of Alex’s chin and smiled at her stubbornness. In the light of early morning she was beautiful, without artifice. All that was amplified when her eyes snapped with anger and her cheeks flushed. Perhaps it was the pregnancy, but her skin had a luminescence—and he’d caught sight of lots of it when she’d arrived in her pjs.
Yet she wasn’t soft. There was a strength, a resolution about her that he admired. Alex Grayson was no pushover…and Gram would respect that if nothing else.
“Gram’s pretty gruff, but she loves me and understands what’s going on. Not only that, but if we’re going to move ahead with this then it only makes sense that you meet my family right away. The most important thing to remember is she hates deception. She’s way too smart for that, and will see through you like anything.”
Alex put down her fork, her lips contorted grimly. “So you automatically think I’ll lie to her? Thanks a lot.”
“Of course not. That’s not what I meant!”
“It sounded pretty clear to me.” She gave up all pretence of eating. “Do you want me to tell her exactly why I’m here? Because I got knocked up by a low-life, have no prospects, and latched on to you for your money?”
“That’s not exactly how I’d put it, no. Besides, I asked you.”
“Like that’ll matter. Does she even know I’m pregnant?”
“No.” Surprising Gram with a fiancée last night had been enough, Connor thought. They’d get to the baby in time. After the wedding would be time enough to tell Gram that there would be a third Madsen in the household before long.
He swallowed roughly. Only the baby wouldn’t be a Madsen. How could he have forgotten that?
“She’s naturally going to think I’m a gold-digger. Thanks a lot, Connor.”
She took her plate to the sink, nausea suddenly battling with her anger. At this rate she wouldn’t have to worry about baby weight gain. She was always in such a tumult that she never seemed to finish a meal!
Bracing one hand on the counter, she closed her eyes, willing away the sickness. When she spoke, her words were soft and accusing.
“Isn’t not telling her a form of deception?”
“I’m going to tell her, of course,” he countered. “It’s not exactly something we can keep hidden. I thought I’d give her a little time to get used to the marriage idea first.”
“Coward,” she mumbled.
“I beg your pardon?”
Alex scraped her plate into the garbage. “I can’t believe you’re afraid of your granny,” she accused.
“I’m not a coward for not hitting her with all the details at once,” he defended. “I did nothing wrong by letting my grandmother know we’re getting married.”
He frowned as he looked at her lips, thinned into a condemning line. Great. If she were this upset about meeting his grandmother, she was going to go ballistic when he told her the rest of the news.
“Unfortunately, I have an association meeting in Red Deer this morning. I’ll be gone most of the day. Remember what I told you and you’ll be fine. Just be yourself, Alex, and be honest, and I’m sure she’ll love you.” It was paltry pacification and it failed miserably.
“So you’re lighting the fire and leaving me to put it out? Last night you said for me to trust you. Then you pull something like this. You didn’t even consult me. Did you seriously think I’d be OK with this?”
“I honestly didn’t think it’d be this big of a deal. I’m still not completely sure why it is.”
“Oh, it’s a big deal. Huge. Today I get to be judged. Alone.”
For a moment he considered skipping the meeting. He hadn’t considered how upset she might be over it, and in hindsight he probably should have talked to her first before calling Gram. But he’d been disconcerted after their talk last night, and he hadn’t considered all the ramifications. And he’d learned something new—something that surprised him. Going toe-to-toe with Alex was invigorating. When they argued they left all pretence and awkwardness behind. They were honest. It was liberating.
Alex sighed, a mixture of frustration and resignation. “I’d better get started tidying this place up, then.”
He took his empty plate to the sink. She was furious. It was in the way her eyes refused to even glance in his direction, in the icy set of her cheek. It shouldn’t matter, but it did. Despite how alive she looked when she was wound up, he didn’t like being at outs with her.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I certainly didn’t intend to upset you. With any luck I’ll be back by lunch, and she won’t be here yet. Or I can make a few phone calls. Maybe I can reschedule the meeting, and then we can face her together.”
She turned, raised her chin defiantly.
“I can handle your grandmother,” she retorted. “It’s the fact that I have to that I don’t like.”
“Point taken.”
“If you want me to stay, don’t let it happen again.”
He couldn’t help but smile a bit at her steel. She might be down but she would never admit to being out. The more they talked, the more he realized how resilient she was. He wondered what she’d left out about her life last night during their walk. “Agreed.”
He stepped closer to her and laid a hand on her cheek. A few tendrils curled around her face and whispered against the rough skin of his hand. Her hair…He’d resisted the temptation thus far to sink his hands into that rich carpet of darkness. But this morning it was out of her customary ponytail and rippled down her back. There wasn’t a man in this hemisphere who could resist hair like that.
“I’m sorry I didn’t think this through better.” He made the apology clear. “But, Alex?” At the questioning look in her eyes he smiled. “You’re amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman more determined than you. You’ll be great.”
He pressed a kiss of reassurance to her forehead as he left for his chores. He’d lied. He’d met one woman more determined…and Alex was going to meet her too, very soon.
CHAPTER SIX
THE EGGS AND HAM, what she’d managed to eat of them, stayed down. Alex showered, dressed in clean jeans and T-shirt, and wished she had something nicer to wear. Grandmothers were not on her top ten list of things she wanted to do today. Alex knew that if she didn’t pass muster, chances were the wedding would never take place.
She fussed with the hem of her shirt. Well, there was nothing she could do about her dearth of a wardrobe. Instead she went to work, tidying the house, dusting and vacuuming, and making sure the appliances gleamed. She took pleasure in looking in at the rooms, tidy and shining. It felt…already…like a home.
She frowned. Two days. Two days and she was thinking of this as home. She had to be careful and remember that this was temporary. If she got too invested, then she was only setting herself up for heartache when it became time to leave. And leave she must. They would go their separate ways, and she would find a new place for herself and the baby she’d be bringing up alone.
But first she had to deal with Connor’s grandmother. The fact that she had to made her blood boil. Of all the nerve. Connor had sat there, calm as you please, and just announced that he’d told his grandmother about their plans. Now he was off “working”, and she was left to deal with the fallout alone. How typically male!
She’d get lots of mileage out of this one. He owed her big time for dropping this on her and leaving.
She was heading upstairs when a horrible thought took hold. What if the revered lady arrived expecting to spend the night? Was Alex already in the room she would expect to occupy? Would his grandmother be expecting her to be sharing Connor’s bed?
The thought of sleeping next to Connor all night made her stomach roll over. It was bad enough the tricks her mind was playing on her; she wasn’t sure how she could handle lying close to his body through the night, listening to his steady breath, feeling his warmth. She had no business feeling this elemental attraction to him, not when their relationship was temporary and she was pregnant. And who knew what would happen while they were sleeping? She was apt to wake up draped over him, and how embarrassing would that be? As if Connor would be attracted to her—poor, plain Alex, pregnant with another man’s child. Briefly she remembered how gently he’d touched her last night, and her stomach twisted again. Maybe it was possible that he was attracted, she supposed, but someone had to keep a clear head around here!
She could switch her things to the other spare room. It wouldn’t take but a moment, and then Mrs. Madsen could have the white room. She was just taking the steps with fresh linens in her hands when the doorbell rang. Her heart sank. She’d run out of time.
She put the linens on a chair and opened the door with a heavy and panicked heart.
“You must be Alexis. I’m Johanna Madsen, Connor’s grandmother.”
Of course you are. Alex held the thought inside and tried to keep her mouth from dropping open. The woman was tall and imperious, dressed in a stylish black pantsuit with a real silk scarf twined about her neck.
But she was looking at Alex in a friendly, grandmotherly sort of way, not with the glare of suspicion and dislike that Alex had completely expected.
“Please, come in,” Alex said automatically, then felt ridiculous. Johanna belonged here so much more than she did!
Alex stepped aside and Johanna came in, pulling a suitcase behind her. Alex’s heart sank. Johanna was planning on staying.
“Connor’s gone to a meeting,” she said haltingly, hating the uncertainty in her voice.
Johanna’s brow crinkled in the middle. “All this fuss—all these meetings he has to attend when there’s hay to be cut. It looks like a good crop. He’ll need it.”
“He will?”
Johanna smiled at Alex indulgently, making Alex feel like a simple child. “When you can’t sell beef, you’ve got to feed the ones you’ve got.” She put a friendly hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Let’s have tea.”
Alex was helpless to do anything but follow Johanna into the kitchen. The woman had been in the house less than five minutes and already she was in charge. Alex wasn’t sure whether to be offended or strangely relieved as she paused in the doorway to the kitchen, unsure of what to do.
Johanna placed the kettle on the burner, and then knelt down with her head in the cupboard, searching for teabags. A rancher’s wife, born and bred. It made Alex feel even more like an impostor.
“So, when are you due, Alexis?”
Alex’s mouth did drop open then, and she stood paralyzed. Johanna took the kettle off the burner and poured, unhesitating in her movements. The woman was making tea like she’d just asked about the weather. Connor had distinctly said he hadn’t told his grandmother about the baby. How on earth could she know? The shirt Alex was wearing covered most of her belly, and she was barely beginning to show. She should have been prepared for the question, but she wasn’t, and she floundered horribly.
“Mrs. Madsen…”
“Oh, dear. None of that, I hope.” Johanna turned with a carton of milk in her hands. “You can call me Gram, like Connor does, or Johanna—whichever suits you best.”
Alex paused. She was on shaky footing. The woman before her was shrewd, and exuded an aura of power and competence that Alex found intimidating. Yet at the same time she seemed very down to earth and without artifice. Alex couldn’t read her at all, and her discomfort grew as the woman raised a questioning eyebrow at her continued silence. Somehow she had to try to gain control of the conversation, yet without seeming adversarial. She’d already argued with Connor this morning; she wasn’t sure she could stand to go three rounds with his grandmother.
“Mrs. Madsen.” She used the formal name as a shield. “I’m sorry. Your question took me by surprise,” she finally got out.
“You are pregnant, aren’t you?” Johanna turned her back to Alex, putting the cream and sugar on a tray with the teapot.
Alex dropped her eyes and her shoulders tensed. Never in her life had she felt more deceitful, more undeserving. Johanna had guessed about the baby—and that was sure to create problems. The best way to deal with it was head-on.
“Yes, I am. Fourteen weeks.”
“And Connor says you met on Friday?” Johanna turned back, bringing the pot to the table.
Oh, didn’t that sound lovely? Alex flushed. By the way, I’m marrying your grandson. I’ve known him for less than a week. She might as well march right upstairs and repack her bag. She knew how it looked, no matter what the reality was. In a cool voice she replied, “Yes. I fainted downtown and he came to my rescue.”
To her surprise, a tender smile spread across Johanna’s face. “Oh, my. That sounds just like Lars.”
“Lars?” Alex was intrigued by the radiant look that transformed Johanna’s face, making her look twenty years younger.
“My husband—Connor’s grandfather.”
Johanna brought the tray to the pine table while Alex hesitantly perched on a chair. They sat across the table from each other while Johanna poured the tea. Alex was wary, but found herself curious about Connor’s grandfather, and what kind of man held the power to put that particular soft look on Johanna’s face.
Alex wanted to believe this woman was on a friendly mission. But until she could be sure she had to be very, very careful.
“Lars was the noblest man I ever knew.” Johanna chuckled a bit, on a lovely little note of remembrance. “When we met I was fifteen. I had a bicycle, you see. I’d fallen off and scraped my knee quite badly. Lars saw me by the side of the road.” She smiled warmly at the memory. “His father…Connor’s great-grandfather…had bought a truck for the farm the week before. Lars put my bike in the back and drove me home. He was twenty-three and, oh my, so handsome. It’s where Connor gets his looks, you know.” She stared at Alex knowingly over the rim of her cup.
Alex shifted in her chair. How was she to respond to that? Of course Connor was handsome. Devastatingly so. But to agree would be admitting to an attraction she didn’t want, and to ignore the comment…she didn’t want to be insulting, either. It would make her look like she was only after his money. She couldn’t win.
“Connor is handsome. You’d be blind to miss it,” she stated matter-of-factly, revealing essentially nothing.
“It’s the Madsen men.” Johanna nodded sagely. “There’s a picture of Lars’s grandparents around somewhere, on their wedding day. He was a looker too.” Johanna rose and retrieved the bag of cookies from the pantry, handing one to Alex. “It was Lars’s grandfather who settled this place, you know. The government was offering homesteads. He traveled all the way from Norway to start a life here. And the farm has never left the family.
“Which is where you come in.” Johanna pushed her mug aside. “I know that this isn’t a regular marriage. My question is, why are you willing to marry a man you hardly know? And how much of his money do you expect to get out of the deal?”
“I beg your pardon?” Alex put down her mug, confused at the sudden turn of the conversation. First she was friendly, and now she was putting the screws on her? Alex was finding it hard to keep her balance. She understood now that it had all been a part of Johanna’s strategy. Lull her into a friendly conversation and then hit her with the big guns. Alex burned inwardly with indignation. She wasn’t a bad person. This whole situation wasn’t as cold as it sounded.
“What’s in this for you, Alexis? Because being a rancher’s wife isn’t the easy way out, let me assure you.”
Johanna’s eyes were sharp, her lips a thin, unreadable line. Alex had never seen a woman so completely put together: not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle in her clothing, even though she’d been nearly two hours in her car. Alex tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and tried to shake away the feeling of a chastised child. She hadn’t done anything wrong or deceitful. She’d made the mistake of falling for the wrong guy once, and now she was dealing with the aftermath in the only way she knew how. She didn’t deserve to be judged.
Alex dropped her cookie to the table. “I don’t have any plans of being a rancher’s wife. And I resent the implication that somehow I’m extorting money out of your grandson. I’m doing this for one reason and one only. Security for me and my baby.”
For a few months she could pretend she lived in this secure, traditional world. A husband and a house, and no stress about where the next meal was coming from. It was a sham, all of it, but she had a desperate need to belong somewhere, even for such a short time. But how could she explain that to this woman? Their family tree went back several generations, right here on this farm. She would never understand how displaced and alone Alex had been for most of her life.
“When Connor met me I was alone, working as a waitress, with no real home and a baby on the way.” She looked squarely into his grandmother’s eyes, and gambled that Connor had outlined their agreement already.
“This all took place because he wants to save Windover, plain and simple. Connor marries me so that he can access his trust fund. After the baby is born we’ll go our separate ways, and he’ll help support us until I can get my feet under myself again.”
She didn’t use the word “divorce”, even though it was the proper term. Somehow it seemed cold and hateful, even in a platonic marriage such as this. She did not look away from Johanna’s serious expression. Alex didn’t want to anger Johanna, but neither would she be a doormat, nor accused of being a gold-digger.
“And, to be clear, Connor approached me, not the other way around. I didn’t go looking for a sugar daddy, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“I think I already knew that.” Johanna’s eyes showed nothing of what she was feeling. “But I had to hear it anyway. You are doing this for your baby. What about the child’s father?”
Alex winced. Ryan had been charming—too charming. Alex had fallen for him quickly, absorbing the affection and attention into her love-starved soul. But deep down she’d known he wasn’t the keeper type. When she’d announced she was pregnant he had hit the door so fast she’d felt the draft. In another situation she would have said good riddance to bad rubbish. But this time was different. She was alone again, but with an innocent, precious baby to consider. One she was determined would have a stable, secure life.
“The biological father has no interest in parenthood, I’m afraid. He left me, and the baby I’m carrying.”
Johanna rose and took her cup to the sink. Turning back, she said softly, “What do you ultimately want, Alexis?”
A home. Again the answer came unbidden, and it wasn’t one she cared to share. This was only a temporary home and she had to remember that. What Connor had proposed would make it possible for her to build her own home, a safe, welcoming place for her child. A child who would always feel wanted and loved and a first priority. All the things her parents had tried to provide but somehow she’d missed.
“I want a good life for my baby. I want to make a home for us. I just want a place for my baby to feel loved and safe.”
Johanna walked over to the table and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “That’s a damned good answer.”
Alex couldn’t keep up with the changes from friend to foe to friend again, and somehow knew she was failing this test miserably.
Johanna’s hand was warm on her shoulder, and Alex hadn’t known how much she’d missed simple human contact. Something about Johanna’s hand, firm and sure, sent feelings rushing up in Alex, and she struggled to hold them rippling beneath the surface. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d even been hugged. The older woman could never understand what a simple touch could do…
“Thank you,” she whispered, sweeping a few crumbs into her palm to try to escape the moment.
“How long has it been?”
