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Eli kept looking at the door to the downstairs bedroom, waiting for it to open. It seemed to him as if Kasey had been in there with the baby for a long time.
Was that normal?
He debated knocking on the door to ask if everything was all right. But on the other hand, he didn’t want Kasey to feel as if he was crowding her, either.
He didn’t know what to do with himself, so he just kept watching the door for movement. He had no idea how long it took to actually feed an infant. Alma was the last one born in their family and since he was only eleven months older, he never had the opportunity to be around an infant.
Dragging a hand through his unruly, thick black hair, he blew out an impatient breath. No doubt about it, he’d never felt so out of his depth before.
When he glanced down at his watch, he noted that twenty minutes had passed. Again he wondered if he should be worried that something was wrong. Though she’d tried to hide it, Kasey had been pretty upset when she’d gone into the bedroom with the infant. Not that he could blame her. The man she’d wanted to count on had abandoned her without so much as a shred of consideration for how she would feel about the situation. Hollis certainly hadn’t had the courage to face her before he’d pulled his disappearing act.
She really was better off without him, but, if he said anything like that now, it might strike her as cold.
Frustrated, concerned, Eli ran his hand through his hair again, trying to think of a possible way to make things better for Kasey.
Maybe Hollis should have at least left her a letter or some sort of a note, apologizing for his actions and telling her that he just needed to get his head straight. That once that happened, maybe he could come back and do right by her. The more he thought about it, the more certain he became that Kasey would have taken comfort in that.
But there was no point in reflecting on that, since Hollis hadn’t even been thoughtful enough of her feelings to do something as simple as that—
Eli stopped thinking of what was and began thinking of what should have been.
If it helped, why not?
He looked at the door again, and then at the old-fashioned writing desk butted up against the far wall in the living room. Weighing the pros and cons, he wavered for less than a moment, then quickly crossed over to the desk, took out a piece of paper, a pen and an envelope.
With one eye on the entrance to the living room, watching for Kasey, he quickly dashed off a note of apology to her, doing his best to approximate Hollis’s handwriting, then signed it Hollis.
He’d just finished sealing the envelope when he heard the bedroom door opening. The very next moment, he heard Kasey calling to him.
“Eli? Eli, are you down here?” Her voice sounded as if she was coming closer.
Stuffing the envelope into his back pocket, Eli raised his own voice slightly. “Out here. I’m in the living room.”
The next moment Kasey walked into the room. Both she and the baby looked somewhat calmer.
“Well, he’s all fed and changed, thanks to the disposable diapers in that little care packet the hospital gave me.” Even as she said it, Kasey caught her lower lip between her teeth.
He was so tuned in to her, he could almost read her mind. She was already thinking ahead to all the things she was going to need, including a veritable mountain of disposable diapers.
“Well, unless we can get Wayne potty-trained by tonight, you’re going to need more of those,” he commented, taking the burden of having to mention it from her. “Tell you what, why don’t you make up a list of what you’ll need and I’ll take a quick trip into town?” Eli suggested.
Kasey smiled, grateful for his thoughtfulness. How did one man turn out like this while another—
Don’t go there, she warned herself. There weren’t any answers for her there and she would drive herself crazy with the questions.
“Sounds like a good idea,” she agreed. Then her eyes narrowed as she saw the long envelope sticking out of his back pocket. “What’s that?” she asked.
Appearing properly confused, Eli reached behind himself. He pulled out the envelope, looked at it and slowly allowed recognition to enter his expression.
“Oh, in all the excitement of bringing you and Wayne home, I totally forgot about this.”
Kasey cocked her head, curious as she studied him. “Forgot about what?”
“When Hollis came over in the middle of the night to ask me to look after you, he wanted me to give this to you.” And with that, he handed her the envelope.
She stared at it, then looked up at Eli. “Hollis left me a letter?” That really didn’t sound like the Hollis she knew. He would have made fun of anyone who actually put anything in writing.
“I don’t know if it’s a letter or not, but he left something,” Eli told her vaguely. “Here, why don’t you let me hold on to the little guy so you can open the envelope and see what’s inside.” Even as he made the offer, Eli was already taking Wayne away from her and into his arms.
Really puzzled now, Kasey nodded absently in Eli’s direction and opened the envelope. The letter inside was short and to the point. It was also thoughtfully worded. She read it twice, and then one last time, before raising her eyes to Eli’s face. She looked at him for a long moment.
Swaying slightly to lull the baby in his arms, he looked at her innocently. “So? What did Hollis have to say?”
She glanced down at the single sheet before answering. “That he was sorry. That it’s not me, it’s him. He doesn’t want to hurt me, but he just needs some time away to get his head together. Until he does, he can’t be the husband and father that we deserve. In the meantime, he’ll send money for the baby and me when he can,” she concluded. Very deliberately, she folded the letter and placed it back in its envelope.
Eli nodded. “That sounds about right. That’s more or less what he said to me before he left,” he explained when she looked at him quizzically. “At least he apologized to you.”
“Yes, at least he apologized,” she echoed quietly, raising her eyes to his. Still looking at him, she tucked the letter into her own pocket. There was an odd expression on her face.
Did she suspect? He couldn’t tell. There were times, such as now, when her expression was completely unreadable.
The next moment Kasey took her son back from Eli and sat with the infant on the sofa. A very loud sigh escaped her lips.
Eli perched on the arm of the sofa and looked into her face. Hollis was clearly out of his mind, walking away from this.
“Are you all right, Kasey?” he asked solicitously.
She nodded her head slowly in response. When she spoke, her voice seemed as if it was coming from a very far distance. And, in a way, she supposed it was. With each word he uttered, she closed the door a little further to her past.
He was about to ask her again when Kasey abruptly began to talk.
“I guess, deep down, I knew that Hollis wasn’t the father type. As long as it was just him and me, he could put up with some domesticity, provided it didn’t smother him.”
Her eyes stung and she paused for a moment before continuing. She didn’t tell Eli about the times she suspected that Hollis was stepping out on her, that he was seeing other women. There was no point in talking about that now.
“But then I got pregnant, and once the baby was here, it really hit Hollis that he might have to…” Her voice trailed off for a moment as she struggled with herself, vacillating between being angry at Hollis and feeling disloyal to him for talking about him this way. For once, anger won out. “That he might have to grow up,” she finally said.
“First of all, you didn’t just ‘get pregnant,’” Eli corrected. “Last time I checked, it took two to make that happen. Hollis was just as responsible for this as you were,” he pointed out.
Kasey smiled affectionately at him then. Smiled as she leaned forward and lightly touched his face. Both the look and the touch spoke volumes. But Eli had no interpreter and he wasn’t sure just what was hidden behind her smile or even if there was something hidden behind her smile.
All he knew was that, as usual, her smile drew him in. There were times, when he allowed his guard to slip, that he loved her so much that it hurt.
It would be hard having her here under his roof, sleeping here under his roof, and keeping a respectful distance from her at all times.
Not that he would ever disrespect her, he vowed, but God, he wanted to hold her in his arms right now. And more than anything in the world, he wanted to lean over and kiss her. Kiss her just once like a lover and not like a friend.
But that was impossible, and it would ruin everything between them.
So he rose off the arm of the sofa and got down to the business of making this arrangement work. “If you could just give me that list of things—”
“Sure. I’m going to need a pen and some paper,” Kasey prompted when he just remained standing there.
“Right.”
Coming to life, Eli was about to fetch both items from the same desk he had just used to write that “note from Hollis” to her when there was a knock on the front door.
The first thing Eli thought of was that Hollis had had a change of heart and, making an assumption that Kasey would be here, had returned for his wife and son.
A glance at Kasey’s face told him she was thinking the same thing.
As he strode toward the door, Eli struggled to ignore the deep-seated feeling of disappointment flooding him.
Kasey followed in his wake.
But when he threw open his door, it wasn’t Hollis that either one of them saw standing there. It was Miss Joan and one of her waitresses from the diner, a tall, big-boned young woman named Carla. Miss Joan was holding a single bag in her exceptionally slender arms. Carla was holding several more with incredible ease, as if all combined they weighed next to nothing.
“Figured you two had probably gotten back from the hospital by now,” Miss Joan declared. Her eyes were naturally drawn to the baby and she all but cooed at him. “My, but he’s a cutie, he is.”
And then she looked up from the baby and directly at Eli. “Well, aren’t you going to invite us in, or are you looking to keep Kasey and her son all to yourself?”
Eli snapped to attention. “Sorry, you just surprised me, that’s all, Miss Joan,” he confessed. “C’mon in,” he invited, stepping back so that she and the waitress had room to walk in.
He watched the older woman with some amusement as she looked slowly around. Miss Joan made no secret that she was scrutinizing everything in the house.
As was her custom, Miss Joan took possession of all she surveyed.
“I don’t recall hearing about a tornado passing through Forever lately.” She raised an eyebrow as she glanced in his direction.
Eli knew she was referring to the fact that as far as housekeeping went, he got a failing grade. With a shrug, he told her, “Makes it easier to find things if they’re all out in the open.”
Miss Joan shook her head. “If you say so.” She snorted. “Looks like this could be a nice little place you’ve got here, Eli.” Her eyes swept over the general chaos. “Once you get around to digging yourself out of this mess, of course.” She waved her hand around the room, dismissing the subject now that she’d touched on it.
“Anyway, I got tired of waiting for an invite, so I just decided to invite myself over.” Pausing, the older woman looked at Eli meaningfully. “Thought you might need a few things for the new guy,” she told him, nodding at the baby in Kasey’s arms.
“Oh, I can’t—” Kasey began to protest. The last thing she wanted was for people to think of her as a charity case.
“Sure you can,” Miss Joan said, cutting Kasey off with a wave of her hand. Then she directed her attention to the young woman who had come with her. “Just set everything down on the coffee table, Carla,” she instructed. She shifted her eyes toward Kasey. “I’ll let you sort things out when you get a chance,” she told her. “Brought you some diapers and a bunch of other items. These new little guys need a lot to get them spruced up and shining.” She said it as if it was a prophesy.
Miss Joan was right. She couldn’t afford to let her pride get in the way, or, more accurately, Wayne couldn’t afford to have her pride get in his way.
“I don’t know what to say,” Kasey said to Miss Joan, emotion welling up in her throat and threatening to choke off her words.
“Didn’t ask you to say anything, now, did I?” Miss Joan pointed out. And then the woman smiled. “It’s what we do around here, remember? We look out for each other.” She nodded at the largest paper bag that Carla set down. Because she had run out of room on the coffee table, Carla had deposited the bag on the floor beside one of the table legs. “Thought the baby might not be the only one who was hungry, so I brought you two some dinner. My advice is to wait until you put him down before you start eating.”
“What do I owe you?” Eli asked, taking his wallet out.
Miss Joan put her hand over his before he could take any bills out. “We’ll settle up some other time,” she informed him.
Kasey wasn’t about to bother asking Miss Joan how the woman knew that she was here, at Eli’s ranch, rather than at her own ranch. Even when things were actually kept a secret, Miss Joan had a way of knowing about them. Miss Joan always knew. She ran the town’s only diner and dispensed advice and much-needed understanding along with the best coffee in Texas.
Joan Randall had been a fixture in Forever for as long as anyone could remember and had just recently given in to the entreaties of her very persistent suitor. She and Harry Monroe had gotten married recently in an outdoor wedding with the whole town in attendance. Even so, everyone still continued to refer to her as Miss Joan. Calling her anything else just didn’t feel right.
Having done everything she’d set out to do, Miss Joan indicated that it was time to leave.
“Okay, Carla and I’ll be heading out now,” she announced, then paused a moment longer to look at Kasey. “You need anything, you just give me a call, understand, baby girl?” And then she lowered her voice only slightly as she walked by Eli. “You take care of her, hear?”
He didn’t need any prompting to do that. He’d been watching over Kasey for as long as he could remember.
“I fully intend to, Miss Joan,” he told her with feeling.
Miss Joan nodded as she crossed the threshold. She knew he meant it. Knew what was in his heart better than he did.
“Good. Because she’s been through enough.” Then, lowering her voice even further so that only Eli could hear her, she told him, “I ever see that Hollis again, I’m going to take a lot of pleasure in turning that rooster into a hen.”
Eli had absolutely no doubts that the older woman was very capable of doing just that. He grinned. “Better not let the sheriff hear you say that.”
Miss Joan smiled serenely at him. “Rick won’t say anything. Not with Alma helping me and being his deputy and all. Your sister doesn’t like that bastard any better than any of us do,” she confided. Then, raising her voice so that Kasey could hear her, she urged, “Don’t wait too long to have your dinner.” With a nod of her head, she informed them that “It tastes better warm.”
One final glance at Kasey and the baby, and the woman was gone. Carla was right behind her, moving with surprising speed given her rather large size.
“I didn’t tell her about Hollis” was the first thing Eli said as he closed the door again and turned around to face Kasey. He didn’t want her thinking that he had been spreading her story around.
Kasey knew he hadn’t. This was Miss Joan they were talking about. Everyone was aware of her ability to ferret out information.
“Nobody ever has to tell that woman anything. She just knows. It’s almost spooky,” Kasey confessed. “When I was a little girl, I used to think she was a witch—a good witch,” she was quick to add with a smile. “Like in The Wizard of Oz, but still a witch.” At times, she wasn’t completely convinced that the woman wasn’t at least part witch.
He grinned. “Out of the mouths of babes,” he quipped. “Speaking of babes, I think your little guy just fell asleep again. Probably in self-defense so that he didn’t have to put up with being handled.” He grinned. “Carla looked like she was dying to get her hands on him.” He had noticed that the waitress had struggled to hold herself in check. “But then, I guess that everyone loves a new baby.”
The second the words were out, he realized what he’d said and he could have bitten off his tongue.
Especially when Kasey answered quietly, “No, not everyone.”
He could almost see the wound in her heart opening up again.
Dammit, he would have to be more careful about what he said around Kasey. At least for a while. “Let me rephrase that. Any normal person loves a new baby.”
Kasey knew he meant well. She offered Eli a weak smile in response, then looked down at her son.
“I’ll try putting him to bed so that we can have our dinner. But I can’t make any promises. He’s liable to wake up just as I start tiptoeing out. Feel perfectly free to start without me,” she urged as she walked back to the rear bedroom with Wayne.
As if he could, Eli thought, watching her as she left the room.
The truth of it was, he couldn’t start anything anywhere, not as long as she continued to hold his heart hostage the way she did.
Shaking free of his thoughts, Eli went to set the table in the kitchen. With any luck, he mused, he’d find two clean dishes still in the cupboard. Otherwise, he would actually have to wash a couple stacked in the sink.
It wasn’t a prospect he looked forward to.
