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“If you’re so fine, why are you here and not still overseas?”
A muscle flexed in his cheek. “They gave me a medical discharge.”
She realized abruptly that something awful had happened to him. For all she knew, he might have come close to dying. A shiver washed over her body. Common sense said she should let the subject drop. After all, he was no longer part of her life, and she couldn’t afford to let him back in.
But the tense silence set her frazzled nerves on edge. Maybe some light conversation would ease her anxiety about the weather. “Your father must be so relieved to know you’re home. That you’re safe.”
“I haven’t seen him. And I don’t know if I will.”
Shocked at his admission, she paused. It wasn’t right that these two men, who had only each other, should be so distant. She fiddled with the blanket’s satin binding while staring out at the storm. Time was running out for his father. She felt compelled to try to help them.
“You have to go to him,” she insisted. “His liver is failing. I tried to put him on the transplant list, but with his history, he isn’t a candidate.”
“You can’t expect me to act surprised. No one can drink at breakfast, lunch and dinner without paying for it in the end.”
“Jason!” She glared at him.
In all the time she’d known him, he’d had a strained relationship with his father. Kara surmised it had started with the death of Jason’s mother, but none of that explained why Jason had turned his back on his dad after so many years. She couldn’t imagine ever cutting herself off from her parents. They didn’t have a perfect relationship, but her folks were always there when she needed them, and vice versa.
Refusing to believe Jason could be so cold, she said, “The next time I stop by the nursing home, I’ll let him know you’re in town.”
“Don’t interfere. That man and I took care of everything we had to say to each other years ago. There’s nothing left between us.”
Jason’s rigid tone told her she was pushing her luck, but she couldn’t help herself. “But he’s changed. He’s sober—”
“No more.” Jason’s hand slashed through the air, as though drawing an imaginary line she shouldn’t cross. “I can’t argue with you. I need to focus on the road.”
She sagged back against the seat with a heavy sigh. He was right. Now wasn’t the time to delve into the situation with his father. At best, Jason would be only partially listening to her while he worked to keep them out of a ditch. At least she’d had a chance to make her point about his father’s condition. There wasn’t much more she could do now. She just hoped Jason would come to his senses and make peace with his dad before it was too late. Regrets were tough to live with. She should know.
She reached for the radio, then paused. “Do you mind if I turn on some music?”
“Go ahead.”
At the press of a button, an ad for a local grocery store resonated from the SUV’s speakers. Kara turned the dial, searching for her favorite country station. The headline news greeted her. She glanced at the clock on the dash. With it being the top of the hour, news would be on most every station.
“This bulletin is just in from the National Weather Service,” the radio announcer said in a somber tone, garnering Kara’s full attention. “The arctic express is supposed to dump twenty-four inches of snow in the higher elevations by tomorrow.”
“Two feet,” she said in horror.
“We’ll be okay.” Jason reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. An army of goose bumps marched up her limbs. She assured herself it was just a reaction to the dire forecast and had nothing to do with his touch.
The radio crackled as the announcer’s voice continued to ring out. “That isn’t even the worst of the storm. Sometime this evening, a blast from the south will raise the temperature, only to have the thermometer quickly sink back below freezing. I know you’re thinking this is a good thing, but let me tell you, folks, those pretty little flakes are going to change into an ice shower, and with a wind advisory due to kick in at midnight, it’s going to get dicey, resulting in downed trees and power lines....”
After another advertisement, strains of “Let It Snow” began to play. Someone at the radio station had a sick sense of humor. Outside, the flakes were continuing to come down hard and fast. A glance at Jason’s squinted eyes and the determined set of his jaw told Kara the conditions were already beyond dicey.
Minutes later, when the vehicle skidded to a stop next to an old elm tree, outside a modest log home, she turned to him. “What are we doing here?”
“The roads are too dangerous. We’ll hunker down here until the storm passes.”
“Here?” A half-dozen snow-covered trees surrounded them. “In the middle of nowhere?”
“This isn’t the boonies. There’s heat and shelter. You’ll be fine. Trust me.”
There he went again with that line about trust. The words grated across her thinly stretched nerves. What in the world had she done for Fate to conspire against her?
“I can’t spend the night with you,” she protested, even though she knew her daughter would be safe with her parents.
Jason leveled a frown at her, as though he wasn’t any more pleased than she was about the situation. “You aren’t scared of being alone with me, are you?”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she said a little too quickly, refusing to meet his intense stare. “I grew up a long time ago.”
Her lips pressed into a firm line as she surveyed the sprawling log structure. Being snowed in with Jason, of all people, would be more stressful than sliding down the slick mountain road. Her hands clenched. She and Jason had too much history, and she hated how he still got under her skin, evoking a physical awareness she hadn’t experienced in ages.
“Do you even know who lives here? Or are we about to commit an act of breaking and entering?”
“This is now my home. Don’t you remember it? I brought you here a couple of times to visit my grandmother.”
Her gaze moved past him to the covered porch, with its two wooden rocking chairs. She searched her memory. At last she grasped on to a vague recollection that brought a smile to her lips. “I remember now. She fed us chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven. I liked her a lot.”
“She liked you, too.” His lips quirked as though he’d been transported back in time—back to a life that wasn’t so complicated. “I inherited this place from my grandparents, along with a trust fund my father couldn’t squander.”
Glowing light from the dashboard illuminated Jason’s face, highlighting the discomfort he felt when mentioning his dad, as he opened the door, letting the frigid air rush in. “Wait here. I’ll leave the heat on while I shovel a path to the porch.”
She refused to let him overexert his injured leg again on her behalf. With a twist of the key, she turned off the engine and vaulted out of the SUV. She sidled up next to him as he limped along.
He frowned down at her. “Don’t you ever listen?”
“Only when I want to. Now, lean on me and take some pressure off your leg.”
He breathed out an exasperated sigh before draping his arm over her shoulder. She started to lean in closer, but then pulled back, keeping a respectable distance while still assisting him. She refused to give in to her body’s desire to once again feel his heat, his strength. She had to keep herself in check. This was simply a matter of he’d helped her and now she was returning the favor—that was all.
On the top step, they paused. Her eyes scanned the lengthy porch. Her gaze stopped when she noticed a freshly cut pine tree, all ready to be decked out in colorful ornaments and tinsel. She remembered as a child accompanying her father and grandfather to the local Christmas-tree farm to cut down their own tree. The fond memory left her smiling.
“I’m so jealous,” she said as Jason pulled away to stand on his own. “You have a real Christmas tree. All I ever have time for is the artificial kind. I remember how the live trees would bring such a wonderful scent to the whole house.”
“A neighbor asked to cut down a tree on my property, and thanked me by chopping one for me, too. The thing is, I don’t do Christmas.”
“What do you mean, you don’t do Christmas?” Her eyes opened wide. “How do you not do Christmas? It’s the best time of the year.”
“Not for me.” His definite tone left no doubt that he wanted nothing to do with the holiday.
Her thoughts strayed to her daughter and how her eyes lit up when they put up the Christmas tree. Even in the lean years before her promotion to office manager, Kara had managed to collect dollar-store ornaments and strings of lights. With carols playing in the background, they would sing as they hooked the decorations over the branches.
The holiday was a time for family, for togetherness. A time to be grateful for life’s many blessings. Not a time to be alone with nothing but your memories for company. The thought of Jason detached from his family and friends during such a festive time filled her with such sorrow.
“I haven’t celebrated it since...my mother was alive.” His last words were barely audible.
Kara recalled when they were dating how he’d always have a small gift for her, including the silver locket at home in her jewelry box. But he’d always made one excuse after another to avoid the Christmas festivities.
“Surely after all these years you’ve enjoyed Christmas carols around a bonfire, driven around to check out the houses all decked out in lights or exchanged presents with various girlfriends?” Kara didn’t want to dwell on that last uneasy thought.
He shook his head.
“What about the military? Didn’t they do anything for the holidays?”
He paused by the front door. His back went ramrod straight.
“I always opted to be on duty,” he said, his tone clipped. “I’ll get rid of the tree the first chance I get.”
“How could you possibly throw away such a perfect tree? You’re home now. Time to start over. A chance for new beginnings...” Her voice trailed off. She didn’t want him to misconstrue her words—to think she wanted them to have a new beginning. Not giving him time to ponder her statement, she continued, “You should try joining in the fun. After all, it’s the most joyous time of the year.”
Kara forced a smile. She couldn’t believe she was trying to talk him into celebrating the exact same holiday during which he’d broken her heart. If he wanted to be an old, cranky Scrooge, why should she care?
Jason didn’t say anything as he opened the door and stepped aside, allowing her to enter. In the narrow opening, her arm brushed against him, and even through the layers of clothing an electrical current zinged up her arm, warming a spot in her chest.
Staying here wasn’t a good idea.
Being alone with her new boss was an even poorer idea.
This whole situation constituted the worst idea ever.
CHAPTER FOUR
ALARM BELLS CLANGED loud and clear in Kara’s mind.
There had to be a realistic alternative to staying, but for the life of her, she couldn’t come up with anything reasonable. One hesitant step after another led her across the threshold and into the log house. Warmth enveloped her in an instant.
“It’s getting really bad out there.” Jason slammed the door against the gusting wind before stomping the caked snow from his boots. “Let me get some lights on in here.”
He moved past her to a table and switched on a small antique lamp with little blue flowers painted around the base. The soft glow added warmth to her unfamiliar surroundings.
“Thanks.” She clasped her shivering hands, rubbing her fingers together.
When her eyes adjusted to the lighting, her curious gaze meandered around the place Jason called home. Worn yet well-kept maple furniture stood prominently in the room, with a braided, blue oval rug covering a large portion of the oak floor. Nothing flashy, but not dingy, either—more like cozy and comfortable.
Jason favored his leg as he made his way to the fireplace and arranged some kindling. He struck a match, and soon a golden glow gave his hunched figure a larger-than-life appearance. What would it be like to curl up with him on that leather couch with a hot mug of tea and a fire crackling in the stone-and-mortar fireplace? To sit there and discuss the day, or make plans for the future?
She gave herself a mental shake. This wasn’t a romantic vacation. Nor was she interested in curling up with him now or ever. She’d keep out of his way and wait out the storm. Once the weather broke and the plows cleared the roads, she’d be gone. And it couldn’t be soon enough.
She tugged her soggy jacket tighter, trying to ward off the chill that went clear through to her bones. All the while, she continued to examine her surroundings. A wadded up pile of white sheets lay on one of the armchairs, as though Jason was still in the process of making himself at home. Her attention moved to the oak coffee table with a folded newspaper and a tidy stack of what appeared to be sports magazines.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“You mean other than being snowed in here with you?” She couldn’t resist the jab. She didn’t want either one of them to get too comfortable in this arrangement and forget about all the problems between them. “Actually, I’m surprised to find this place so clean. I guess I just don’t think of men as being neat freaks. Unless, of course, you’re living with someone....”
The thought hadn’t occurred to her until then, and it annoyed her that it even made a difference to her. Yet the presence of a girlfriend would assure their past remained in the hazy shadows, along with the snarled web of emotions.
“I’m not involved with anyone.” The flat statement left no doubt in her mind about the status of his bachelorhood. “I learned to clean up after myself in the military. You’ve got to be prepared to move out on a moment’s notice, and you can’t be ready if your gear is in a jumbled heap.”
The tension in Kara’s stomach eased. Instead of examining her worrisome response to finding out he had no one special in his life, she chose to stick to safer topics.
Glancing up, she said, “I love the cathedral ceiling and how the chimney rises into the rafters.”
“Wait until you see this place with the morning sun coming in through the wall of windows on the other side of the room.”
Preferring not to dwell on the idea of watching the sunrise with him by her side, she pointed past the fireplace. “What’s over there?”
“My grandfather used the area as a study, and I didn’t feel a need to change things.”
She glanced around, taking in the winding stairs. “Where do those go?”
“To the loft. When I was little my grandparents used it as a bedroom for me. I’d spend hours up there playing. Now the space is crammed full of junk. Maybe this summer I’ll get around to throwing it all out.”
“Why would you want to do that? There are probably heirlooms up there that you’ll one day want to hand down to your children.”
His thick brows puckered. Storm clouds raced across his sky-blue eyes. “One man’s treasure is another man’s junk. And since I’m not having kids, I don’t need the stuff.”
Not having kids. The knowledge knocked the air from her lungs. He made it sound so final, as though he’d already given the subject considerable thought. She’d never heard him say such things when they’d been dating. In fact, they’d discussed having a boy and a girl. A little Jason and a little Kara.
In that instant, she realized a stranger faced her. What could have changed him so drastically? She bit back the question. None of her business, she reminded herself.
Dredging up these old memories stung worse than pouring rubbing alcohol over a festering wound. Her judgment concerning men seemed to be made up of one painful mistake after another.
“I’ll get us something warm to drink,” he said, ending the conversation. “You can get out of those wet clothes in there.” He pointed to a door on the opposite end of the great room.
“I don’t have anything to change into. Besides, I need to call my family.”
“You need to get warmed up before you come down with pneumonia. Then you can phone home. It’s not late, so they shouldn’t be too worried yet.”
She hoped he was right.
When Jason bent over to untie his boots, he groaned in pain. She grabbed his arm, tugging him upright. He started to pull away, but she tightened her grip, noticing how his muscles rippled beneath her fingertips. In spite of her awareness of his very muscular build, she dragged him over to a wooden chair beneath the picture window.
“Sit,” she commanded, in the same tone she used when Samantha was being uncooperative. “You don’t need to put any more pressure on your sore leg.”
His startled gaze met hers. Then, ignoring her words, he once again attempted to loosen his laces. She swiped his hand away.
“I’ll do it,” she insisted, kneeling before him.
Her cold fingers ached as she dug her short nails through the chunks of ice, trying to loosen the laces.
“So this take-charge woman you’ve become, is it part of being a mother?” he asked, startling her with the intimate question.
“I suppose so.” The mention of her daughter, combined with his nearness, flustered her. Her fingers refused to cooperate. “I almost have your boots untied. There’s just this one knot...”
She bit down on her lip, forcing her attention to remain on the frozen tangle and to ignore how easy it’d be to end up in his capable arms. With one last pull, followed by a solid yank, she loosened the laces. And none too soon. This proximity was short-circuiting her thought processes.
She jumped to her feet and strode over to the fireplace. Why did this log home have to be so small? She supposed small wasn’t a fair description, as this all-purpose room was quite spacious. But it didn’t allow for any privacy, any breathing space away from Jason.
