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The air rushed out of Leah’s lungs. The boys had to be in there. Ryan couldn’t even get out of his car seat without help. She brushed past Shane and out of the house, running to her car. But as she drew near, her heart sank. The boys were gone.
What kind of mother was she, losing her children?
“They were asleep,” Leah said, looking around. Where were her children?
Shane and her sisters had followed her, and immediately, Erin and Nicole started calling out for them.
“Clearly not,” Shane said, obvious disapproval in his voice.
Who was this man, and what right did he have to question her parenting? The lawyer was probably warning her off about him, and she’d missed it.
“Boys!” Leah called, going to the other side of her car in case they were just hiding. “You’re not in trouble. Mommy just needs to know where you are.”
She fought to keep the panic out of her voice. Dylan especially was prone to hiding when he thought he’d done something wrong. If he sensed she was upset, he’d make it even harder for them to find him.
Her sisters had split up and gone to either side of the house, so Leah ran toward the barn. Ryan’s favorite toy was his plastic barn and animals. Maybe he’d seen the barn and hoped to find real animals, too.
Hopefully, the boys hadn’t found anything too dangerous to get into.
When she got closer to the barn, she could see a horse tied to the far side. And the boys petting it.
“Dylan! Ryan!” As she shouted their names, Shane grabbed her by the arm.
“Stop yelling. You’re going to scare my horse.”
Who did he think he was, worrying about a horse when she’d thought she’d lost her sons?
He jogged a few steps forward, then slowed to a walk, holding out his arm to keep Leah from passing him.
“Hey!”
“Shh.” He shot her a glare, then took another step forward. “Hey there, boys,” he said in a soft voice. “Whatcha doing over here?”
“Petting da horse,” Ryan said, touching the horse’s leg.
It was almost sweet, watching her son fulfill his dream of being around horses. But even Leah knew that it wasn’t safe for him to be there, touching the horse in that way.
“Easy, Squirt.” Shane took a long step in the direction of the horse. “Steady.”
The horse gave a toss of his head as if he understood Shane, and Shane took another giant step forward. If the horse lifted his leg or shifted his weight, he could easily step on the little boy. Dylan was standing farther back. At least one of her sons was safe. But even that wasn’t a guarantee. Though it had been a long time since Leah had been around horses, she knew they spooked easily.
“Hey, boys, why don’t you come stand by me, and I’ll introduce you to Squirt properly.”
Shane’s voice was calm and gentle, and the boys looked at him. Then they saw Leah.
“I don’t want to get in trouble,” Dylan said, his lips quivering.
Shane shot her a dirty look. What was with him and his judgmental attitude? He didn’t know anything about her or her kids.
“No one’s in trouble,” Leah said. “But this is Mister Shane’s horse, and he wants to show you how to be safe around horses.”
“Are you a real cowboy?” Dylan asked, pointing to Shane’s hat.
Smiling, Shane took it off his head. “Why don’t you come on over here and try it on?”
“Yeehaw!” Dylan ran toward him.
Ryan followed, but their sudden movements made the horse antsy. In a swift motion, Shane jumped between the horse and the boys, grabbing the horse by the halter. “Easy, Squirt.”
The hat fluttered to the ground, and Ryan picked it up, then placed it on his head. “I cowboy. I ride horse.”
Leah gathered him into her arms. “Not right now, you don’t. This is Mister Shane’s horse, and you have to ask him first.”
And from the disapproving glare Shane was giving her, it wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon.
“He said I could wear that hat,” Dylan said, snatching the hat from his brother.
“Mine.”
“But he said it was for me.” As he adjusted the hat on his head, Dylan ran toward Shane and the horse. The horse whinnied, then started to dance around.
Shane brought his attention to Dylan. “Slow down, buddy. You scare the horse when you run.”
Dylan stopped. He turned and stuck his tongue out at his brother, then looked at Shane. “Can we ride your horse, Mister Shane?”
“Not right now,” Shane said. “Everyone who rides a horse has to know the safety rules first.”
Even Leah knew that it wasn’t safe for a child without any riding experience to be on a horse. But at least the man didn’t make a promise he couldn’t keep. When they had come here that summer, so long ago, Helen hadn’t allowed Nicole to ride, except with an adult sitting in the saddle with her. She couldn’t imagine that this man would be any different. In fact, judging by the way he continued to glower at her, he’d be even worse.
Nicole and Erin had come around the house. Erin waved, and Leah returned the gesture. At least they knew the boys were safe. Nicole went back into the house. Erin came toward them. When Leah turned her attention back to the boys, Shane had lifted Ryan up and was allowing him to pet the horse. At least he seemed nicer now. Leah had forgotten how the so-called real cowboys were more overprotective of their horses than she was of her sons.
“At least there’s no traffic here for them to play in,” Erin said, shaking her head.
Shane turned and looked at them. “Only a fool would think that there still aren’t a lot of dangers to children here. There are coyotes, snakes—and those are just the common things to watch out for. And then there’s something like my horse. You need to tell your kids that they can’t come up to a strange animal like that. Squirt is easygoing enough. But if it had been one of my other mounts, you might not have been so fortunate.”
“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine?” Erin said. “They’re small children, and we barely just got here. You can’t expect them to show up and know everything all at once. Obviously, you haven’t been around children much.”
At the look Shane gave Erin, Leah grabbed her sister’s arm. “It’s fine. No harm was done, and when we get back to the house, we’ll sit with the boys and lay down some ground rules.”
“But I want to ride the horse,” Dylan said, a stubborn expression filling his face. Leah knew that expression. Telling him no meant a tantrum would follow. And the last thing she needed was for her son to fall apart in front of this already-judgmental man.
“I believe Mister Shane said that you needed to learn the rules first. So, let’s go inside and have a little snack, then we can talk.”
The boys hadn’t had lunch, either, which would make them crankier and more prone to difficulty if Leah didn’t deal with it soon. They’d been sleeping, and she hadn’t wanted to disturb them. Not something she would want to share with Mr. Judgy Pants. The boys hadn’t been sleeping well lately with all the changes in their lives, and she had wanted to give them a break.
Unfortunately, her answer didn’t sit well with Dylan. “I want to ride the horse now.”
Shane set Ryan on the ground away from the horse and pointed him toward Leah. “Go see your momma.”
At least Ryan did what he was told. Leah held her arms out to her son. “Are you ready for a snack?”
“I no have no lunch,” he said, whining at the end.
“We can have sandwiches,” she hugged him, enjoying the feeling of having her son back safely in her arms. Even though she already knew he was safe, holding him made it real.
“I hate sandwiches,” Dylan said.
“I’m sure we can find something else that’s tasty. Let’s go see what’s in the kitchen.” Leah held out her hand, hoping that her son would take it.
But Dylan was still focused on the horse. “I want to ride the horse.”
She took a step in his direction. She could feel Shane’s eyes on her like he wasn’t sure what she was going to do and wouldn’t approve. He’d approved of nothing she’d done so far.
“We’ve already had this discussion. You need to come with me, so we can all have something to eat.”
“No.” Dylan crossed his arms over his chest, and Leah braced herself for what was coming.
The psychologist had told her it was a gift to see the signs of a tantrum forming, but right now, it felt like a burden. Especially with her little boy clinging to her and Shane’s disapproving glare. Leah turned to her sister.
“Can you take Ryan inside for me? Dylan and I will be there shortly.”
Erin nodded. She’d been her rock these past few months. At first, Leah had felt guilty relying so heavily on her sister when Erin was dealing with a tragedy of her own. Erin’s daughter, Lily, had died in a tragic accident, and her marriage had ended as a result. But Erin had told her that helping with the boys was healing for her, and now Leah had no idea what she would have done without her.
“Come on, Ry-guy. Let’s go eat and then we can figure out which room is yours.”
Ryan eagerly went over to his aunt. He loved his Auntie Erin, and he was the sunshine to Dylan’s thunderstorms. Once he and Erin had started toward the house, Leah turned her attention back to Dylan.
“You had your chance to do the right thing,” she said. “Come now, or there will be consequences.”
She already knew how this was going to end. But it was important to make Dylan aware that he was making a choice. Dylan picked up a rock.
“I told you I want to ride the horse.” He turned and threw the rock at the horse, narrowly missing it.
“That’s enough,” Leah said, closing the distance between her and Dylan and taking him by the arm. “We do not throw rocks. And we especially don’t throw them at another living being. You tell Mister Shane you’re sorry.”
“No.” Dylan wrestled himself from her grasp, which hadn’t been that tight, and threw himself to the ground. “I want to ride the horse.”
He started wailing, kicking and screaming. This would go on for a while, and there was nothing to do but let him finish it out.
Leah took a step back and turned to Shane. “I’m sorry my boys scared your horse. You’d best take him and be on your way. It’ll be easier if the horse isn’t here to distract him.”
Shane shook his head slowly. “What are you going to do to him?”
“Nothing. He’s going to sit here and throw his fit, and then we’ll go back to the house and have something to eat.”
“You said something about consequences. What are they?”
She knew the look on his face. It was the same one she got whenever Dylan threw a fit in public. Shane sounded like he thought she was going to beat him or something. But neither Shane nor the people who thought they could insert themselves into her business had spent countless hours in therapy with her son.
“He’ll lose some of his privileges, including screen time. He and his brother had too much of it on the drive anyway. I’m sure that’s why he’s acting up now.”
Shane looked doubtful. “I’d like to check on him later.”
Who was this man to think he knew everything there was to know about her family?
“What do you think, little guy? Can I come see you later?” Shane bent in front of Dylan only to get a handful of dirt tossed in his face.
“Hey!” Shane jumped and wiped at his eyes. She probably should have warned him not to go near her son while he was in the middle of a fit. For a seven-year-old, Dylan could be incredibly violent. But it wasn’t his fault. The past few years had been chaotic for him, and he was acting out of the fear and insecurity planted in him by his unstable father. Jason was a great dad when he was clean, but his relapses turned their lives upside down. Things had gotten worse since Jason’s death from a drug overdose. In a child’s mind, a terrible father was better than a dead father.
“Please ignore him,” she said, motioning for Shane to come near her.
Wiping the dust from his face, Shane sputtered as he walked in her direction. “He just threw dirt in my face.”
“Maybe you should have waited for my response before stepping in. Right now, he is so deep in his animal instincts that he can’t be rational or reasoned with. As I said, you should go now. I’m going to sit here and wait this out.”
It was exhausting enough having to deal with Dylan’s fit. But having to once again justify her actions made Leah even wearier. She’d hoped that coming out to this isolated ranch with her sisters, who also understood how to handle Dylan, would allow her to get a break from the judgment of everyone around her.
To help Shane see her resolve, Leah sat on a nearby rock. But instead of doing as she asked, Shane came and sat next to her.
So much for getting a break.
* * *
The last thing Shane needed was to get involved with a single mother desperately in need of a daddy figure for her children. Been there, done that and even had a World’s Greatest Dad coffee mug to show for it. But when Gina had ridden out of town on the back of a Harley with a guy who promised more excitement than he could, she’d taken Natalie, and there hadn’t been a single thing to do about it. Unless a man legally adopted a child, he had no rights to the kid in the future.
And yet, there was something about Leah and the pain written on her face that drew him. She might not want him here, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
When Helen was alive, she’d told him about her ex-husband, the Colonel, and how her biggest regret in divorcing him had been leaving his three daughters behind. She’d loved them like her own, but she’d been given no visitation rights. However, she’d continued to pray for the girls every single day. When Gina left, Helen had been his rock. She’d told him about her love for the girls, and while he had been comforted by the fact that he wasn’t alone in his pain, he also wasn’t ready to befriend a beautiful woman with two kids he’d never have any right to.
Except he’d promised Helen he’d look out for the girls. Only they weren’t girls now but grown women, and keeping his promise wasn’t looking as easy as it had been to make it. Still, Helen had been there for him in his darkest days. In many ways, she’d been like a mother to him. He owed it to her to be there for the girls she’d been unable to love the way she’d have liked.
Dylan continued to scream and flail in the dirt. Shane had moved Squirt to a safer spot where the little boy wouldn’t be tempted by him and Squirt wouldn’t be spooked. Leah said she had everything under control. But, from Shane’s perspective, this was a mess. How could she let her son act like this?
Worse, he couldn’t believe she’d gotten into this mess in the first place. Though he was in no position to judge, it seemed like poor parenting to leave your children alone like she had. He’d often watched Natalie for Gina because otherwise Gina would have left Natalie alone. Once again, he wondered exactly how much his promise to Helen was going to cost him.
He glanced over at Leah, trying to gauge her reaction. She sat there, acting like she didn’t have a care in the world, picking several of the long blades of grass that had gone far too long without cutting. She was twisting them into some kind of shape.
“What are you making?” he asked.
A soft smile crossed her face. “I was trying to remember how to make the little grass baskets Helen had taught us to make when we were small. I thought it would be fun to teach the boys.”
She held it up, then frowned slightly. “I’m missing a step. I wonder if I can look it up online to find the answer.”
“I’ve never done anything like that,” Shane said. “All I know how to do with grass is make a whistle.”
He picked a few blades, then demonstrated.
At the sound, Leah smiled. “Oh, that’s wonderful. You’ll have to show me how to do it. The boys will think it’s so fun.”
