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There was a moment of silence before Ellie answered. “I might have been at one time, but over the years, it seemed to have gotten lost in the job, you know what I mean?” she asked, her voice softer than it had been moments ago, meant for only him and Gil to hear. The others were too far away to hear anyway. “Life gets to be about what you do, not who you are.”
“Oh, I doubt that or Vicki wouldn’t have recommended you,” Gil said and poked a marshmallow onto a long wooden stick. “This is for you. Roast to your preference and enjoy.”
“Thanks.” She took the stick and focused on putting the fat marshmallow at the edge of the hot coals. “Vicki’s a good friend, Gil.”
“She said you’d fit right in here, and I believe her.” He handed her a chocolate bar and graham crackers to go with the marshmallow.
“I hope she’s right.” Tucking her head, she focused on making the gooey treat.
Mark’s mouth watered. “Gil, can you fix me up with some of that? I haven’t had a s’more in years.”
“You got it.” He reached into the bag and produced a marshmallow that he handed to Mark, then gave him a chocolate bar and a graham cracker.
Mark took the items, watching Ellie as he did. Her focus seemed to move inward as she watched the changing lights in the fire in front of them. The light picked up the reddish hues of her short brown hair. There was a simmering fire in Ellie that he saw, but she probably didn’t even know about. Mark hoped for her sake that it wouldn’t go out completely.
CHAPTER TWO
HAD she seriously even thought the word relax yesterday? Ha! There would be no relaxing at Camp Wild Pines. Chaos didn’t begin to describe the absolute bedlam that descended on the camp when the four charter buses of kids arrived just after lunch. She’d simply replaced the intensity of the hospital for the madness of camp life. Ellie had never seen so many kids in one place before and certainly none with the level of excitement that sparked off of these campers. Someone must have fed them a bunch of sugar on the bus and let them go.
“Great, stuff, isn’t it?” Mark asked her as the campers made their way to the infirmary for exams. He poked bellies, and tickled ribs, as each child made it through, then supplied all with a sweet treat.
“Great?” Ellie gaped at the line of campers, boys and girls, ages seven to fourteen, that trailed its way through the infirmary and out the door, filing all the way across the compound to the lodge, nearly a football field’s length away. “Uh, that wasn’t quite how I would have described it.”
Mark laughed and placed the otoscope into the ear canal of the next camper and leaned forward for a look. “It’s great to me.”
Ellie gave him a sideways glance and raised her brows. The man obviously lived a crazed life if he thought this was great. “If you say so. Too much chaos and noise kinda makes me nervous. Reminds me too much of work.” The thing she’d come here to get away from.
“The noise level with kids is always high. You’ll get used to it.”
“I doubt it.” She’d never get used to it. “There’s always too much to do, and never enough time to finish it.” Hurrying, she pulled the folders for the next group of kids. “There’s only a few minutes before they’re supposed to be heading to their cabins, then to the lodge for the welcome reception.” She looked at the line of campers and anxiety cramped in her belly. “We’re never going to make it.” What if they were late, what if she didn’t do things the way Dr. Collins liked them, what if—
“Ellie?” Mark touched her on the shoulder, distracting her from her racing thoughts. She hadn’t seen him rise and step closer to her.
“What?” She looked up at him. He was so close and tall that she felt small in comparison. Until now she hadn’t realized how different they were in height. He just kept going up.
The calm smile on his face didn’t detract from the sharp assessing look in his green eyes. “Don’t have a panic attack the first day. We’ll be fine.”
Sweat broke out on her back. Being so nervous about everything wasn’t how she wanted to be, but she didn’t seem to know how to change. After so many years of being dedicated to helping others and more recently helping her parents through her father’s illness and death, something had broken inside of her that she didn’t know how to fix. She didn’t know if it could be fixed. The last man she had been intimately involved with certainly hadn’t thought so. “But the kids will be late, and then—”
“So? It’s not like they’re going anywhere for the next eight weeks. They can be a little late for the first meeting in the lodge, or we can do the remainder of the assessments tomorrow. Won’t hurt anything.”
Ellie simply stared at Mark. “Are you serious? Things need to be done on time, not when we feel like doing them or get around to it.” How could he be a physician and say that?
“Ellie. We’re not slacking. There are simply a few kids I want to take an extra look at right now. There are some campers with chronic illnesses that we need to follow closely over the summer, and if I document well now, it will save me a lot of brain strain later.”
Looking away from him, she lowered her eyes. “I see. Sorry, Dr. Collins.”
“No sorry about it, and please call me Mark.” He squeezed her shoulder once in a gesture that was meant to soothe her frazzled nerves, then turned away. “Let’s just get finished with what we can reasonably do, and then we’ll go to the lodge with the kids.” He called the next camper over. After a quick, assessing glance at Ellie, he carried on with the exams.
Before Mark finished with the next set of eyes, ears and tonsils, the paging system called the campers to the lodge. Without preamble, the kids scattered in a mob of gangly legs and arms and choruses of cheers. “Guess that settles it. Off to the lodge with the bunch of them.” He popped off the cover of the otoscope into the trash bin that nearly overflowed beside him. With a look at Ellie, he bundled up the trash and placed a clean liner in the bin.
Stacks of files lay on every conceivable surface; some hung precariously from their perches, and a few had landed on the floor. Ellie hurried around the room picking up trash, putting away files, writing notes on other files. Her frantic pace nearly made him dizzy. He’d had enough of that sort of thing for a while. The change in his life over the past few years had made him much more aware of how he spent his time. He wasn’t going to waste his, and he didn’t want to see Ellie use up hers on mundane things that could wait. Especially when there was a bonfire waiting. With s’mores.
“I guess it’s time to head to the lodge,” Mark said and motioned for Ellie to join him by the door. Mark paused at the look of panic in her eyes as she surveyed the mess. There was something definitely going on with her and it wasn’t files or organization. Getting out of a hospital environment was going to be good for her, too. That was obvious. He knew nothing about her personal life, but the signs of stress she displayed were enough to make him want to reach out to her, want to help her. “Are you ready?” he asked, knowing there could be an explosive answer at the end of that question, but he was ready for it. He hadn’t grown up with three sisters without learning a few things about women.
“Uh, no.” Ellie shook her head and moved back to the first pile of charts. “I can’t go until all of this is taken care of. You go ahead, and I’ll join you later.” She picked up a stack of files and their contents slid onto the floor. “Probably much later.”
He caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes before she hid her face behind the files in her arms. “Ellie, this stuff isn’t going anywhere. Let’s go meet the kids and let them get to know us a little. We’re going to be here all summer, and the charts can wait.”
“I just can’t leave things undone, you know? I’m not built that way.” A sigh flowed out of her. “If I leave things for later, I’ll never catch up. You go ahead.” She grabbed another stack of charts and began going through them. “It’s practically a sin in the nursing world to leave something for the next person to do when you could have done it yourself.” She clucked her tongue.
“You’re not the only one here. I can help you. I helped create the mess—I can certainly help clean it up.” That was logical, wasn’t it?
“But that’s not a physician’s job. This is a mundane task that I should do.”
“Ellie, we’re not going to be in a hospital setting for eight entire weeks. I won’t tell if you don’t.” Offering her an encouraging smile, he wanted her to respond, but she didn’t.
She eyed the piles, but gave another heavy sigh. “I don’t know. It’s a lot of work. I’ve always had the philosophy of ‘do it now so you don’t have to do it later.’”
“My philosophy is ‘don’t waste the now,’ and I outrank you. Let’s go enjoy ourselves. Before last night I hadn’t been to a bonfire for years, and my stomach is growling in anticipation of more campfire food.” He paused when she looked as if she were going to resist more. “Please don’t make me give you a real doctor’s order.”
“What?”
Startled brown eyes caught his gaze, and he knew he’d surprised her. Good. “When we come back, we can do it together and get it done in half the time. It’s not like it’s an urgent matter, and there’s no one from Medical Records breathing down our necks.”
At that she gave a sideways smile, and her brown eyes lit up for the first time since they’d met. “You’re right. I can deal with all this later.”
“We’ll deal with it. Promise. Let’s just go enjoy ourselves.” This was good. One small step forward.
“Okay. Let me grab a sweatshirt and my special bug spray. They ate me alive last night so I’m not taking any chances tonight.”
“Sounds good.”
She hurried to her room at the opposite end of the hall from his and returned in minutes. She carried a dark blue sweatshirt with an embroidered loon on it and a white spray bottle in the other hand.
Mark waited by the door, then walked with her to the lodge, wondering what could be special about bug spray. But if it worked, who cared?
The evening was pure delight. Kids ran wild through the camp, and he laughed more than he had in years. Tension began to simply unwind out of him with each passing moment. This was a good change for him, and one he hadn’t realized he’d needed. Thank God for good friends who made excellent recommendations. Get out of the hospital for a while. That was the ticket. Oh, what a pleasure it was to be here and simply to be alive.
Tapping his foot to the guitar music, he wasn’t watching as one small camper tried to sneak by, but tripped and landed nearly in Mark’s lap. The little boy with bright red hair squealed, and Mark helped him to stand.
“I gotta use the bathroom,” he said and his blue eyes expressed his urgency.
“Come on, it’s this way,” Mark said and helped the young boy find the restroom. This was something he knew he might never be able to do otherwise. Not necessarily help a kid to the bathroom, but help his own child—get up in the middle of the night with his own children, help them with whatever they needed. For a moment, despair hit Mark; the realization of what he might never have was reflected in the face of each and every camper present. He simply couldn’t allow himself to indulge in a relationship when he might not live through the next few years. It wasn’t fair to the woman or any children that could come of the relationship. Minutes later, the boy emerged from the bathroom and, for a moment, Mark forgot about his own needs that wouldn’t be met so simply.
CHAPTER THREE
ELLIE stirred in her bed the next morning, awakening slowly as the sun crept over the windowsill to invade her room. She hadn’t slept so well in such a long time; she’d almost forgotten what it was like. Events of the past few years had disturbed her wakeful time as well as her sleeping time. Maybe fresh air and the quiet Maine woods had helped. A lovely breeze had stirred the pines surrounding the infirmary most of the night, bringing with it the lonesome call of the loons that she loved. The soothing sounds must have lulled her into a state of bliss.
Living in a large city for so long had numbed her senses to what nature had to offer. Cement and skyscrapers and bright lights, and the never-ending roster of critically ill patients, had taken the place of activities she had once enjoyed, and she mourned that loss. Work, and the lengthy illness of her father, had just about worn her out, the breakup with her fiancé only compounding her exhaustion. Mourning had unfortunately become a way of life and one she was determined to shake off during the summer. She knew she would. She just had to figure out how to get started.
The framed photo on the table beside her bed had been taken when her father had been happy and healthy and that’s how she wanted to remember him. Memories of his illness had finally begun to fade.
After a quick glance at the clock beside the photo, she bolted upright, panicked. She was late! Tearing off her sleep shirt and quickly dragging on shorts and a T-shirt, she raced out the door, then came to a halt.
Mark sat quietly with about ten kids who waited in a semi-organized line for their morning meds.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” she whispered and patted her short, rumpled hair into place, supposing she looked like a porcupine with it sticking out all over.
“No worries. I’ve got things under control.” He gave her a quick assessing glance and his eyes warmed, lingering on her longer than they had yesterday. The flush of heat that rushed through her wasn’t entirely from embarrassment. Though she had said she wasn’t going to be interested in men during the summer, Mark was intriguing her from the get-go.
“I’m supposed to pull the charts, and the meds, and have things ready before clinic. You didn’t need to take clinic this morning. I should have done it.” Her heart raced uncomfortably in her chest. This was her job, and the first day here she was already behind.
“Ellie, calm down.” Mark handed a camper two pills in a paper medicine cup and a small glass of water. “Down the hatch, buddy.” The camper dutifully swallowed the medicine. “Why don’t you wake up and get something to eat? It’s not a crisis that I take the morning clinic. You can have the one after lunch and the evening one if that will make you feel better. There are a few kids with allergy shots that are due, so you can set them up for the lunch clinic.” He gave her a quick glance and adjusted the baseball cap on his head. So far she’d never seen him without it. If he was anything like her brothers, they had to have a favorite team cap on almost before they got out of bed.
“Thank you. I’ll do that.” Face burning, she headed to the bathroom and closed the door. She splashed cold water on her face, combed her hair and glanced in the mirror over the small ceramic sink. Already, on the first day of camp, she’d succeeded in embarrassing herself in front of the physician and a number of the kids. Determined not to let this setback get the better of her, she pulled herself together. One little problem shouldn’t ruin, or set the tone for, the rest of her day. Think positive. Think positive. Wasn’t that what she told her patients all the time? Maybe she ought to listen to her own words of advice. If it worked for her patients, it ought to work for her, right? She’d simply make it up to Mark somehow. She’d find a way. Opening the door to the shared bathroom, she re-entered the front, feeling a little better.
“Bear is the man you want to see at the lodge. He said he’d put a few things back for you if you’re hungry.”
“I can wait. Why don’t I take over here?” she said, but as she looked for more campers, she saw that the line had dwindled down to just a few. Mark had handled the task without her help, and no one looked as if they were distressed, so she relaxed a little more. Positive thoughts. Positive energy. If she kept telling herself that, she’d really believe in it one day, wouldn’t she?
“Seriously, Ellie. Go ahead and get something to eat. I’m good for a while.” He winked at her. “After this I think I might take a run around the camp, get my exercise for the day.”
“Yes, Doctor,” she said and, with a frown, turned to the door, but paused as she felt a hand on her arm. Turning back, she glanced at him. They were going to be working together for the entire summer, so she should make a better attempt to be friends. Making friends with a handsome man was always a good thing.
“Ellie, my name is Mark, not Doctor. Can you just call me Mark? Please?” he asked and paused, then removed his hand.
“I can do that,” she said, then nodded and liked the sound of his name rolling around in her head. “Where I work not too many physicians like being addressed by their first names, so it’s just habit.”
“A good habit to break, if you ask me. We’re all on the same team, right? And if Bear has any of those Boston cream doughnuts left, snag me one for later, will you?” He smiled and the effect made her hold his gaze a second or two longer than she normally would have. Though thin, he was a handsome man. Intense, but handsome.
“Sure.” The tension in her flashed away as his vibrant energy seemed to move into her. Energy she seemed to need right now, but didn’t know how to find.
“Maybe two if he has them.”
That made her laugh and the sensation was warm in her chest. Laughter had been bountiful in her home as she’d grown up, and she realized now that it was somehow missing in her life. She’d become too serious and that was something she’d never wanted to be. “I’ll see what he has. You might have to do an extra lap around the camp to work it off though.” The man had a sweet tooth. She’d have to remember that. He was too thin by far, so if she could grab him a doughnut now and then, she’d do it. He’d been nothing but nice to her, so she could do something nice back. Perhaps her payback to him could come in the form of confiscated pastries now and then.
The lodge, a great lumbering building made of rough-hewn timber, was the hub of the compound, and she reached the front porch in minutes. The screen door squeaked as she opened and closed it, and she entered the cool interior to find the place empty. Last night, they had stuffed nearly three hundred people in here, and the din had been overwhelming. Now, every foot-step echoed off the log walls. Just as she entered the lodge, a crashing clatter of pans and shattering of glass made her jump. Loud cursing and yelling followed, and she hurried over to the galley.
“Hello? Is everything okay?” She gasped as the biggest, brawniest bearded man she’d ever seen turned to face her, anger blazing in his deep-set brown eyes.
“No, dammit! I’m burned half to death.” He held his right hand under the water in the sink and continued to grumble. A thin man covered by a white apron hovered a few feet away, his hands nearly choking the handle of a broom.
“I’m Ellie, the nurse. We haven’t met yet.”
“I’m Bear, the chief fried cook.” He shook his head and continued to mutter under his breath.
“Why don’t I look at your injury? Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“No, thanks. I’ll be fine.”
Now, she remembered something Vicki had said, that Bear took a while to warm up to people. “Vicki Walker said you make a great clam chowder,” she said, hoping to distract him a little.
“She did, did she?” Bear cast her another glance. “We’ll be missing her around here this year.”
“She and Sam and their little girl will be up for a visit or two during the summer, so you’ll get to see her.”
Nodding at that, Bear turned to face her more fully, though he kept his hand and forearm under the running water. “Think you got anything in the infirmary to help a grease burn as big as this?” he asked.
“Sure. Getting it under the cold water is the first thing, for sure. Let me call Dr.…Mark to come over and see you, too. I also have some aromatherapy oils that will take the sting right out of the burn and probably minimize scar tissue.”
“I don’t care about scars. Got enough of them already, so a few more won’t make much difference.” He sniffed. “Aroma-what? What’s that?” Bear asked, a puzzled expression on his face.
“Plant extracts that have healing properties.” She’d studied aromatherapy and used it on her father when he’d been ill, and she was now thinking of becoming a practitioner in addition to her nursing career. Complementary therapies were helpful to standard treatments, and she was a believer in them.
“Like folk medicine?” he asked and his fierce expression eased a little.
“Something like that.” That was probably the simplest way to describe the therapy that didn’t sound too out-there for most people.
“Okay. Phone’s on the wall there.” Bear nodded to the wall beside the mess of a desk scattered with magazines and paperwork.
“Thanks.” Ellie looked at the numbers scrawled on a piece of paper beside the phone. Dialing the number, she waited for Mark to answer. She quickly explained the situation and hung up. “He’ll be here in a minute. Only one camper left for the morning clinic.”
A single nod was the only response from Bear. She noticed that he had reverted back to his tight-lipped expression again and suspected the burn hurt a lot more than he was letting on. “Can I ask you a few questions, Bear?”
“As long as they’re not about my clam chowder recipe,” he said.
“No,” Ellie said and hid a grin, knowing that Vicki had worked long and hard to get that recipe out of him. “They’re medical questions. Are you on any medications or do you have any medication allergies?”
Bear answered her questions and a few minutes later Mark charged through the door of the lodge, carrying two medical supply packs. “I wasn’t sure what we were going to need. I brought a few things, then we’ll get you to the infirmary to do a full exam.”
“I don’t need no full exam. I just need my burn looked at.” He held his hand and forearm out to them.
Ellie winced inwardly at the sight of the red, inflamed skin and took a pair of exam gloves from Mark. “Do you think it will blister?”
“Not sure. Might,” Mark said and applied exam gloves before touching the wound that ran from Bear’s thick fingers all the way to midforearm. “You said he put the injury in cold water right away, correct?”
“Yes. And to my knowledge, the sooner a heat injury is cooled, the better.” Burns weren’t her specialty, but that much she remembered and the advice made complete sense. Sometimes common sense was the best medicine in the world.
“Should I put ice on it?” Bear asked and winced as Mark touched a particularly tender spot that could have been the initial contact site.
“No. You don’t want to apply ice to skin that’s already delicate.”
“Delicate? There’s nothing delicate about Bear,” the thin assistant cook said with a snort. “He’s as tough as they come.”
“You’re right about that, Skinny,” Mark said. “The injured skin is the only thing delicate here, and we don’t want to add anything too cold to it, because skin damaged by heat could then be damaged by cold.”
“Makes sense,” Bear said and gave a nod.
