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Circumstantial Memories
Circumstantial Memories
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Circumstantial Memories

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“Yeah, you did. Your father had passed away the year before and I think most of your…hijinks…came from grief. Anyway, you and Jeremy hit it off and got married a few months later.”

“Short courtship, no wonder it ended in divorce.” She scuffed the toe of her tennis shoe against the carpet. “Were you at that party?”

“No.” If he had been there, Jeremy never would’ve had a chance with Julia.

“The marriage must’ve gone downhill pretty quickly.”

“I’m sorry, Julia. Jeremy cheated on you, and you found out the hard way.”

She shrugged. “It’s not as if I remember the guy, but it’s not easy to hear that Shelby’s father was a cheat.”

Ryder licked his dry lips. She needed more time. Maybe she’d remember on her own. “Is this ringing any bells?”

“It resounds here.” She clenched her fist and tapped her chest above her heart. “When I started looking for my identity, I had the feeling I didn’t want to find my husband. I wanted to stay lost. Now I know why.”

“Yeah, but we still don’t know why you followed him to Arizona.”

“A package.” Julia gasped and pressed her fingers to her temples.

“What?” Ryder’s head jerked up. “Do you remember something?”

Sinking to the bed, Julia massaged her head. “I just had a flash of memory—a picture of a small flat package wrapped in white paper and tied with twine.”

“Have you ever had a flash of memory like this before?” Ryder settled on the bed next to her, running a hand down her stiff back.

“Only once, but it was a word that came to me, not a picture.”

“What was the word?”

“A name—Shelby.”

The air whistled through Ryder’s teeth. Julia remembered his grandmother’s name and chose it for her daughter…his daughter.

“Ryder.” She placed her hand on his thigh. “Why would I name my daughter after your grandmother? Why did I come here to Silverhill?”

Ryder debated just what to tell her, how honest he should be. He didn’t think she was ready to hear the whole truth. “We talked a lot, Julia.” He plucked her hand from his leg, turned it over, and traced a fingertip along the lines on her palm. “I told you about Silverhill, about my family’s ranch and my grandmother who worked alongside my grandfather to build the ranch. Her strength and determination fascinated you.”

“Because I had a life filled with frivolous parties and superficial relationships?”

“Maybe.” He rubbed his thumb in the center of her hand. “But you weren’t superficial. You were strong…are strong, and I think you wanted something more from your life.”

“Do you think I decided to find it in Silverhill?” She folded her fingers over his thumb, capturing it against the warmth of her hand.

“I think you delivered that package to Jeremy, and something happened in Arizona, something that landed you in a stolen car with mounds of cash. You fled to Silverhill to seek the protection of my family, the family you’d heard so much about.”

She shook her head and her silky brown hair slid over her shoulder. “But what? What could’ve happened?”

Ryder pushed up from the bed and paced in front of the window. Did he want these memories to come back for her? Would they put her in danger?

“You know.” Julia jumped from the bed and blocked his path, hands planted on her hips. “Tell me. How did Jeremy die and where?”

Ryder blew out a breath and squared his shoulders. “Jeremy was murdered over three years ago…in Arizona.”

Chapter Four

A dull pain thudded against her temples and she dropped to the edge of the bed. “Three years ago in Arizona?”

“I heard about it a month after it happened.” Joining her on the bed, Ryder rested an arm across her shoulders. “That’s when I called you in Paris and discovered you’d left for the States.”

“Arizona.” She gripped the bedspread with stiff fingers. She must’ve seen Jeremy before he was murdered or maybe she witnessed the murder, or…“Do you think I…?”

“Had anything to do with the murder?” He stroked her hair, and his hands seemed to draw the tension out of her body. “Absolutely not. You’re no expert in explosives.”

“Explosives?” She jerked her head up. “Jeremy died in a bomb blast?”

“Someone planted plastiques around his house in Arizona and detonated them while Jeremy was inside. They identified his remains, or at least some jewelry he wore. The fire from the bomb blast incinerated his body.”

“Do you think that’s what I was running from? Do you think I was there when the house exploded and Jeremy died?”

“Maybe.” Ryder plucked up one of her hands, nervously bunching the bedspread, and chafed it between his two palms. “Julia, Jeremy was no longer working for the agency when he was killed. He was under investigation for espionage, selling State secrets.”

She swallowed and the pain in her head came roaring back. Her past got crazier and crazier each time Ryder revealed a piece of information. “Did the agency kill him?”

“Black Cobra works outside the boundaries of government oversight, but not that far outside. If we gathered enough evidence, we would’ve arrested him and charged him with treason.”

“Black Cobra? Is that the name of your agency?”

Squeezing her hand, he nodded. “Not even my family knows that, but you knew the name before. You deserve to know it now.”

Black Cobra. Drawing her brows together, she grabbed Ryder’s forearm and turned it around to inspect the inside, running her fingertip from his elbow to his wrist.

Ryder sucked in a sharp breath. “What is it, Julia? Do you remember something?”

“A tattoo. I remember a tattoo of a black snake, here on someone’s arm.”

“You remember Jeremy’s tattoo.” Ryder shrugged. “He had a flair for the dramatic.”

She jumped up from the bed. “Oh my God, it’s all going to come back to me, isn’t it? With you here feeding me information, I’m going to start remembering. I’ll finally know why I was in that stolen car with all the money. I’ll be able to give Shelby a little bit of her father back.”

Ryder stiffened, his blue eyes kindling with emotion.

“Jeremy wasn’t all bad, was he, Ryder?” She dropped to her knees in front of him. “I can tell Shelby a few good things about her father, can’t I?”

His jaw tightened and then he cupped her face in his hands. “Jeremy had a great sense of humor, always playing practical jokes. He attracted people to him effortlessly, could make anyone do just about anything. That’s why it cut so deep when he turned.”

“Why do you think he did it?” She leaned her elbows on his knees.

“He scratched and scrambled his way out of a tough neighborhood in New York. He liked money and material possessions. His government job didn’t provide him with enough of either. But more than anything, Jeremy liked to take risks.”

Crossing her legs, she leaned back on her hands. “I can’t believe I’d fall for someone like that and actually marry him.”

“You were in a vulnerable place after your father died.” His lips twisted. “Jeremy swept you off your feet. He could do that to women.”

“Apparently he didn’t stop doing it even after we got married.”

“No, but at least his infidelity opened your eyes, and you dumped him. I don’t think anyone had ever dumped Jeremy before.”

“I wish…” Drawing her knees to her chest, she covered her mouth with her hand. She wished Ryder with his strong presence and protective manner had been at that party in Paris instead of Jeremy. Maybe then he’d be Shelby’s father instead of some unfaithful, treasonous dead man.

“Are you all right?” Ryder slid to the floor in front of her, his knees touching hers. “What do you wish, Julia?”

His intense gaze seared her face, and her mind struggled to give him what he demanded—recognition. Although her brain couldn’t process Ryder McClintock, her heart could. She felt this man deep in her bones. Somehow she knew she could depend on him, had depended on him in the past. He’d saved her once, and she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do so again.

Why wouldn’t he explain everything?

“You’re on the floor.” Shelby tumbled into the room, giggling. She wedged herself between them. “You’re silly.”

Plucking one of Shelby’s butterscotch curls between his fingers, Ryder said, “Grown-ups like to play on the floor sometimes, too. Kids don’t rule the floor.”

Shelby leaned against Ryder’s legs, touching a finger to his nose. “You’re silly.”

Her daughter knew she could depend on Ryder, too.

Ryder pushed up from the floor, tucking Shelby under one arm. “Do you ladies want to come to dinner at the McClintocks’ tonight?”

Shelby squealed as Ryder swung her back and forth.

Scrambling to her feet, Julia said, “We don’t want to intrude on your family. They’ve barely seen you since you’ve been home.”

“You’re right. They don’t see me for over three years and I drop my bags at the ranch and head on out again.” He set Shelby on her feet, and she reached up her arms for another ride.

“That’s enough, Shelby.”

“I don’t mind.” Ryder scooped up Shelby and carried her into the front yard. On the little patch of grass, he grasped her hands and they went around and around in a circle. Occasionally, Shelby’s feet left the ground and she shrieked in excitement.

“She’s a daredevil.” Julia laughed and shook her head. Shelby loved to play rough, but most of the surrogate fathers she had in Silverhill favored bad backs, walked with canes or tired out after fifteen minutes of Shelby time.

After a few wobbly steps, Shelby scampered away to add to her rock collection.

“That little girl has a lot of energy.” Ryder shoved his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans. “Are you sure about dinner tonight? I know Dad and Pam have heard all about our connection by now and would love to have you and Shelby over.”

Julia thought about sitting around the dinner table with the McClintocks—Ryder’s father, stepmother, his older brother, Rod, and various ranch hands—and shuddered. She craved peace and quiet after all the bombshells today and a night with the boisterous McClintocks promised anything but.

“I’ll pass on dinner, but can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

She blinked her eyes at the promptness of his response. He really did want to help her. “I have an appointment with my psychologist, Dr. Brody, tomorrow afternoon. Can you come with me? I think it would really help.”

“I’ll be there. What do you do with Shelby?”

“Millie Stoker takes her. I work with Millie’s daughter, Maddy, in their antique shop most days while Millie watches Shelby.” Julia knotted her hands. “I don’t want to pull you away from your family.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be here for a while before my next assignment. I’ll have plenty of time to catch up with the family. What time should I pick you up?”

The foliage across the road rustled and spewed out Gracie Malone and her son, Charlie. Gracie waved and made a beeline for Julia’s house, Charlie in tow. “We’ve all heard the exciting news. Imagine, all this time the McClintocks’ son knew you and you didn’t even realize it. Hello, Ryder.”

Ryder tipped his hat. “Gracie, Charlie. How’s the B and B going?”

Gracie’s rabbit-like nose twitched as her eyes darted between Julia and Ryder. “It’s good. We’re full up right now, but I sure wish I could find some better help. Charlie just hired a young woman, but she’s a little flighty…and a little trashy. The young people who come up here to work in the summer and ski in the winter aren’t very reliable, are they, Charlie?”

Charlie’s mouth hung slightly ajar as he stared at Julia, and her flesh crawled where his gaze slid down her body. She could totally see him pawing through her underwear.

“Are they, Charlie?” Gracie elbowed him, and he snapped his mouth shut and shook his head. She scowled at him and then pasted a smile on her face as she turned to Ryder. “So how do you know our Julia? Have you filled her in on all the details of her past yet?”

“We’re…ah…acquaintances.” Ryder lifted one broad shoulder. “And we’re taking it slow. Julia needs time to get her bearings and absorb everything I’m throwing at her.”

Yeah, like about a million years to absorb that she had a crooked spy for an ex-husband…and she may have witnessed his murder.

RYDER PULLED his truck in front of Julia’s neat little clapboard house with the white picket fence. He never thought he’d see the day when Julia Rousseau would be living behind a white picket fence…or wearing her hair in a ponytail.

Julia waved as she jogged down her front steps, hitching a large handbag over her shoulder. Ryder scrambled out of the truck to get the door for her and when she smiled her thanks, his heart flip-flopped in his chest.

His attraction to Julia hadn’t been all about appearance. The sexy, sophisticated siren with the couture clothing and perfect hair and makeup hooked him from the moment he saw her, but he loved the substance beneath the glossy exterior. Jeremy never got beyond that. When Jeremy discovered his wife had a strong will and a mind of her own, the marriage crumbled. Although he didn’t plan it, Ryder saw Julia through the fallout.

“How’s Shelby this morning?” He glanced at Julia before cranking on the engine. “Was she upset about the break-in yesterday?”

“No. She just thought her silly mommy threw her underwear all over the bed.” Julia snapped her seat belt in place.

“And how’s the silly mommy?” His gaze slid sideways to her face, still tense despite the smile.

“I’m fine.” She flipped the ponytail over her shoulder. “I bought some new underwear, a new bedspread and a pair of scissors. Then I had Gary the locksmith come out and reinforce all my locks.”

“That’s the exterior. What about the interior?” He tapped his chest with his fist.

“Of course I’m still jittery, but it’s amazing what a new set of locks can do for your peace of mind.” She clasped her hands between her knees. “Besides, all the stuff you told me yesterday occupied my mind more than a few sliced-up bras.”

“Did you remember anything else?” He held his breath. Should he tell her about their relationship before she remembered it on her own or should he wait? She’d seemed almost relieved when she discovered Shelby’s father was dead and out of the picture. Why would she want to share her daughter with a stranger?

“Nope. I’ve been trying to put a face and a body to that tattooed arm, but haven’t had any luck.” She spun around. “Do you have any pictures of Jeremy or can we get any from Black Cobra?”

“I don’t have any pictures, but I may be able to get one from the agency. Do you think it will help you to remember what happened in Arizona?” He brushed his fingers down her arm. “Are you sure you want to remember?”

She shivered. “Not sure at all, but it’s like bitter medicine. It’ll be good for me in the end. With you giving me information and working with Dr. Brody, I think I have a shot at recovering my memories—good and bad.”

“Who’s this Dr. Brody? Was he the first doctor you saw?”

If so, Julia put a lot of faith in a doctor who hadn’t helped her much in the past three years.