Kinky

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Dimitri turns to me. ‘That is an order?’

‘Tch. No, I mean, fuck! I haven’t finished the air-freshener campaign. I’m going to get it right in the neck. Look, I have to go. Maybe if I do a bit of work from home … but all the stuff is in the office – shit.’

‘Hey, calm, calm.’ Dimitri puts his hands over my arms, reining in some of my wilder gesticulations. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I have a presentation to give tomorrow, but when I saw the light coming from here, I left work before I was ready. I have to finish this work! But the office is closed until seven now. And the presentation is at nine. I’m doomed. Haven’t even got a slogan, let alone the PowerPoint.’

‘You panic, don’t panic. You work …’ He waves a hand in the direction of my office. ‘Right?’

‘Yeah. Over the road.’

‘Come on. I get you in there.’

‘What?’

He doesn’t answer and I’m reduced to trotting across the café and down the stairs after him, voicing questions to the air around me. ‘What do you mean, get me in there?’

It’s chilly on the street outside. I wrap myself in my coat and frown at Dimitri, who is standing, stroking his chin and staring at my office.

‘We go round the back,’ he says eventually.

‘Dimitri, we are not breaking into my workplace! We just aren’t. There’s a security guard!’