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“We’ll get a nanny. We’ll hire a night nurse. Anything you want.”
Sutton hadn’t moved. “What’s the point of having a child if you aren’t the one raising it?”
“Sweetheart, would you rather I suggest you give up your work to raise a child? It’s very 1950s, but if you want me to act the caveman...”
“I think you should give up your work.”
Ethan didn’t move.
“Seriously, Ethan. If you want a baby so badly, then you give up your work, and take care of it.”
“I’d be willing to do that if you truly want me to.”
“A baby means more to you than your books? Than your mark on the world? You’re leaving something concrete behind, Ethan, we both are. Children aren’t the same—it’s a genetic lottery. It could be smart, it could have birth defects. You never know. And we aren’t at all equipped if this child isn’t absolutely 100 percent perfect, in every way. I don’t want to be saddled with a child. You can’t take the risk of a child ending your career. It’s better for us to just take care of things, and never think about this again.”
“You don’t mean that,” he whispered. “Please, Sutton. I know you don’t. I know you want this, too, deep inside. I know it. And I swear, I will handle everything. If you truly want nothing to do with raising our child, I will do it all. I am more than willing to abandon my art for this. For us, and our family.”
She sat quietly, watching him, the red hair floating around her face. “God, you actually mean that, don’t you?”
“I do. I swear it.”
She said nothing, stared over his shoulder. There was a bird feeder outside the window; he could hear the birds, dancing around the edges of the feeder, grabbing a bite, fluttering off, then rushing back. Wings beat the air. His heart stood still.
“I’ll think about it,” she said, finally, and he realized he’d been holding his breath. He gathered her into a hug, and she let him.
THE FRIENDS COME A-CALLING (#uc4aac95c-bcda-5b38-b6a5-c4120ac2f064)
Now
Ethan went through the rest of Sutton’s things quickly. There was nothing unusual about anything, outside the fact that the lifelines she clung to like air were here, and she was not.
He saw nothing that stood out on her computer. Her Dropbox was password protected so he couldn’t open her current work in progress—he knew she was working on some sort of big set piece fantasy novel, lots of bursting seams and knights with hard-ons—but she’d always been totally paranoid when it came to her work; she hid it from everyone until it was finished and in the hands of her agent.
The agent.
Stupid, Ethan.
He opened her contacts, pulled up the name—Jessamin Fleming—picked up the phone, and dialed the number. Jessamin’s assistant answered perkily.
“Ms. Fleming’s office.”
“This is Ethan Montclair. I need to speak with Jessamin straightaway. It’s an emergency.”
“Oh! Yes, sir, of course. Hold, please.”
A moment later, Jessamin herself came on the line. She was a big woman, tall and shapely, with a voice like a truck driver after a lifetime three-pack-a-day habit. He liked her.
“Ethan? What’s wrong? Did something happen to Sutton? Ally said it was an emergency.”
“Have you spoken to her, Jess?”
“Not since last week. Why? What’s wrong?”
“She’s gone. She left me a note, said not to look for her.”
Silence. Dead, empty, cold silence. Then, coolly, “Well, Ethan. This sounds like something between you and Sutton.”
Shit. “Please, Jess. If you know anything, tell me. I’m very worried about her. She left everything behind, her laptop, her phone, her purse. She’s been upset, sad, and I’m worried she might have tried to hurt herself.”
“Or she’s left you.”
“Without her things? I mean, yes, I’m a right bastard, but without her things, there’s no way. Something’s wrong, I can feel it.”
“New things can be bought. Perhaps she truly doesn’t want you to look for her, Ethan.”
The doorbell rang, and Ethan started moving toward the foyer. “Jess. You know her as well as anyone. Did she tell you she was leaving me? Because if she is, that’s fine. I’ll be devastated, yes, but I won’t fight her. I’m truly worried about her. If I know she’s left purposefully, then I can stop pacing the house, freaking out.”
“She didn’t say anything to me, Ethan. If you’re so worried, perhaps you should call the police.”
“That’s my next step.”
“Well, then. Keep me posted.”
“You don’t even sound concerned, Jess.”
“I am concerned, Ethan. But Sutton is her own woman, always has been. And since Dashiell...”
“Yes. I know. Thank you, Jess.”
Thanks for absolutely nothing, you loathsome old bitch.
He pocketed the phone and swung open the door, was faced with a trio of women. Filly, Ellen, and Rachel. He couldn’t help but think, Fair is foul, and foul is fair: Hover through the fog and filthy air. These three brought chaos and destruction in their wake, and he could smell it coming off them like brimstone.
“Ladies.”
“Have you heard from her yet, Ethan?” Filly had both her babies, the one born alongside Dashiell, only a few days apart, and the accidental second baby, still a newborn, conceived the first time she and her husband had sex after the gynecologist cleared them. Of course Filly had waited the proscribed six weeks. She was not a rule breaker. Not like Sutton... And never mind that it might cause him pain to see the perfectly wrapped cherubs in their ridiculously expensive running stroller.
“No, I haven’t.” He noticed the little yellow-haired girl from across the street playing on the sidewalk in front of her house. She stopped and stared at him, then burst into tears and rushed into her garage. Jesus, was the whole world convinced he’d done something wrong? Or was he just being paranoid?
Focus, Ethan.
He stepped aside and let them in. Ellen was all darting eyes and pinched mouth, as if she expected Sutton’s body to be hanging and twisting in midair from the upstairs banister. Filly entered as if this were her castle, her domain, bumped the stroller over the threshold, marched straight through the foyer, and veered off toward the kitchen. Rachel, though, locked eyes on Ethan and didn’t break the gaze. Was she just stoned, or was she trying to discern something? Probably reading his aura or predicting his demise from the numbers of hairs standing up at the crown of his head or some such nuttiness. He blinked first, and she followed him into the kitchen.
They formed up, half circled him, a scrum prepared to take him down. Filly had been nominated as spokesperson for the group. She was standing slightly in front of the other two, aggressive, even for her. She cleared her throat importantly.
“We’ve talked it over, and we think you should go to the police.”
All three women nodded. The elder baby woke, gurgled, and cooed.
He leaned against the counter. “What would you like me to tell them? My wife left me a note and said she didn’t want me to look for her, then disappeared. There’s $50,000 cash missing from our accounts, by the way. She’s done a runner.”
Ellen—cool, logical Ellen, her hair in a simple ponytail, crisp and clean—spoke at last. “She hasn’t been happy. It’s possible she’d leave. But to not tell us? I don’t know that I buy all of this.”
“Meaning what?” Ethan asked.
She waved a hand. “You expect us to believe she up and left, without a word to any of us, without her things? You say she left a note. Now you tell us she took money, too? It just doesn’t feel right to me. Sutton would confide in us if she decided to do this.” A deep breath, a glance to her friends. “Did you hurt her, Ethan? Now is the time to come clean.”
“Hurt her?” As he said it, he realized all three women were shivering. Rachel was downright shaking. A dawning realization. They were afraid of him. That’s why they’d come in hard and fast together—this was more than a confrontation. They were protecting each other.
“I didn’t do anything to Sutton, and I believe it’s time for you to leave.”
His sharp tone woke the infant, who wailed to life like the squawk of a siren. Filly shot Ethan a nasty glance, reached for her bundle of joy.
“I’m serious. You lot, leave, right now. I can’t believe you’ve come over here to accuse me. I didn’t hurt Sutton. I’m worried sick about her.”
Rachel, her voice quivering but her pointed chin inching up, said, “Sutton is a gentle soul. She’s been badly bruised by everything that’s happened the past year. And you’ve been fighting lately, she told me as much.”
“All couples fight, Rachel. Ours are no worse than anyone else. You fight with Susannah all the time.”
“That’s different. We have a sacred space for conflict, we have rules—”
“Oh, for God’s sake. I didn’t hurt her. If anything, I’m more worried she went off and hurt herself.”
Three uneasy stares. He shouldn’t have said that. It just came out.
Ellen was the first to speak. “Are you saying she was suicidal?”
Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose. “No. She isn’t. I’m saying I’ve thought about every possibility this morning. She left me. That’s what I know for sure. But Rachel is right. Sutton has had a very hard time since the baby... No, I don’t think she’d do that.” He was rambling. Shut up, Ethan. “I think she wants some drama, is all.”
Wrong thing to say, take two.
Filly clutched the crying baby closer. “You are a coldhearted bastard, Ethan Montclair. How could you say such a thing? Your wife is missing!”
“That’s it. I want you all to leave.” When they didn’t move, he shouted, “Now!” at them, which had the effect of throwing a rock into a flock of pigeons.
“This isn’t over, Ethan. Now that we know... Either you call the police, or we will.” Ellen threw in the last bit over her shoulder, and five seconds later the door slammed behind them. The finality of it shocked him.
Bloody hell. Women.
He paced the house for a few minutes, gathering himself, planning. He had to do something here, had to make a decision. Had she left him, as the note and $50,000 missing from their accounts indicated? Was she up for a bit of drama to punish him for his lack of attention lately? Or was it possible that she had hurt herself, and the money was for something else? Misdirection?
A moment of actual sanity hit him. Sutton’s friends thought he’d hurt her. The police would, too. It was time to talk to the lawyer.
BURN ALL THE LAWYERS (#uc4aac95c-bcda-5b38-b6a5-c4120ac2f064)
Joel Robinson’s office was three blocks away. Ethan decided to walk. If the lawyer wasn’t there, he’d leave a note. He simply had to move, to get out of the house. Get away from Sutton’s shade, lingering about like a malevolent ghost.
Robinson was short, round, red-nosed, a cheerful Santa Claus with white hair and a long beard. He worked out of the third story of a lovely Victorian on Fifth Avenue that had been converted to individual offices a decade hence. He had no secretary, opting to manage all of his clients in a state of utter secrecy. While they’d been social acquaintances for several years, Ethan never thought he’d grace the man’s professional door. Yet here he was.
Thankfully, said door was unlocked, and Robinson himself was inside. What luck.
Ethan rapped his knuckles on the door frame.
“Joel? Am I interrupting?”
“Ethan. Hello. Just prepping for a case, court later this week. What’s up? You ready to schedule that drink?”
“I was hoping I could buy you lunch. I need to run something by you.”
Robinson cocked his head to the side. “Sorry, no can do today. Client coming in shortly. Why don’t we shoot for tomorrow?”
In his hesitation, something must have shown on Ethan’s face, because Robinson waved a hand and said, “But I have fifteen minutes now. Tell me your troubles.”
Ethan gave a humorless laugh. “It seems my wife has left me. Here’s the note.”
Robinson read it, brow furrowed, then handed it back. “That’s too bad. I always thought the two of you were thick as thieves. Don’t worry yourself too much. With any luck, she’ll see the error of her ways and come home soon.”
“Here’s the issue, Joel. She’s left without her things. No wallet, no phone, no laptop. Fifty thousand is missing from our accounts. On the surface, this all looks standard, I know. But I have a bad feeling. Something’s wrong. She’s been very depressed and upset since our baby...since Dashiell died. My head says she left. My heart is concerned that she’s done something stupid.”
Robinson tapped his fingers on the desk, rhythmic, endless, processing.
“Suicide makes no sense. Why take money? If you’re planning to off yourself, why the cash?”
“Exactly. I agree. Problem is, none of her friends know where she is, and get this, they think I had something to do with her disappearance. They came by to confront me. I could tell by the way they were acting, they’re scared of me. They said if I didn’t call the police they’d do it for me. I don’t—”
A hairy white brow rose, and Robinson held up his hands. “Stop. I don’t want to know.”
“I didn’t—”
“Seriously. Stop. Right now.”
“No. Listen to me. I didn’t hurt my wife. But I think it’s time to call the police. Get out in front of this. Just in case.”
Robinson was shaking his head, eyes closed. “You’re screwed if you do. They will tear your lives apart.”
“I can’t sit around and do nothing. I’m worried about her.”
“Sit down.”
Ethan hesitated for two seconds, then sat.
“Here’s how this is going to go. If you call the police, they will immediately consider you a suspect. Every word you utter will be parsed. Say they find her living it up in Rio, all fine and dandy. But say something has happened to her. God forbid, I know, but if someone has harmed her—”
“God, no. Don’t even say it.”
Robinson sighed. “It’s a terrible thought, I know. But no matter the circumstance, you are going to be turned inside out. They will investigate you until warrants are coming out your ass, and if they find nothing, you’ll be convicted in the media regardless. You know how they love to spin things. Once word gets out on this, you can’t turn back. Have you tried looking for her?”
“Not really. I mean, I’ve been giving her space. She asked me not to look for her. I’m honoring that request.” He sounded prim, like a schoolmarm, and Robinson shook his head again.
