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‘I don’t think that’ll be a problem.’ Still, he took her offering, and devoured it in four bites.
‘Don’t any of the others partake?’
‘They’ve quirks of their own.’ He drew her attention to them in turn. ‘Spook mutters some ancient Swedish ode, and he doesn’t need bananas. He practically lives on guarana and goji berries. Elspeth,’ he said without looking at his former lover, ‘spritzes herself with exactly five squirts of Midnight Poison, but not until the very last second. Rock Giant burns a few new holes in the ozone layer making sure those spikes of his stay in place.’
‘And Ash?’
‘He’ll have spent the last hour sucking aniseed balls, so he tastes like he’s been necking Pernod.’
She didn’t enquire how he knew what Ash tasted like, already knowing she wouldn’t like the answer. However, the damage was already done, and her overactive imagination had produced a crystal-clear image of Xane and Ash kissing. It was hard enough dealing with the fact that Xane had been in love with Steve Matlock, let alone speculating on what relationships he’d had and what things he’d done with the rest of the band. It wouldn’t surprise her to learn that he’d slept with every goddamned one of them. She didn’t need confirmation of that fact, though. It might not surprise her, but it did make her hideously queasy.
‘Ash also likes to line up his post-show entertainment.’ He nodded his head towards a huddle of girls waiting in the corner. To Dani’s astonishment, her best friend Ginny was among them.
‘What – how are you here? Why are you here?’
‘Same as you. I’m scoring myself a red-hot rock star.’ She winked at Xane, who turned away. ‘I got myself a legit pass this time.’ It read, ‘Property of Ash Gore’.
‘We’ll speak in a bit,’ Dani said, before scuttling off to catch up with Xane, whose attention had turned to the new guy. She hoped Ginny knew what she was doing, and wasn’t going to get herself hurt. Ash wasn’t like Xane. He didn’t get emotionally invested.
‘I hope you’re not drinking too much of that shit.’
Dani jumped in response to Xane’s growl. It wasn’t directed at her but at Iain Willows, who was busy necking a very large and lethal-looking cocktail.
Showing impressive guts, Iain locked gazes with Xane. ‘Is there a problem with me having a drink?’
‘No. No problem.’ Ash darted between them, his palms raised towards Xane. ‘It’s just one drink, Xane. It’s not a problem.’
‘If he’s playing for us, I want him sober.’
‘He’s not going to get wasted on one drink. It’s not like he’s downed a dozen pints.’
‘It’s OK, Ash.’ Iain pushed Ash to one side so he could address Xane directly. ‘I get this is difficult for you. Steve was a fantastic drummer, I know I’m going to have a hell of a time trying to replace him, but –’
‘You’ll never replace him.’ Xane turned his back and stalked away.
Dani lingered a moment, staggered by Xane’s bluntness.
‘He’s still in shock,’ she muttered by way of an explanation. ‘He doesn’t find it easy to talk about Steve.’
Ash nodded in agreement with her. He clapped Iain on the back. ‘Give him time. It’s only been a few weeks.’
‘Maybe you’re not ready to be on tour.’
‘But we are. It’ll be fine. It’s only the first night. Once we’re through this, things will settle down.’
Dani hoped Ash was right, but at the moment she wasn’t even sure how Xane was going to manage to sing. ‘How do you and Ash know one another?’ she asked Iain.
‘We were in a band together once. Sorry, who are you?’
‘She’s Xane’s girlfriend,’ Ash said.
‘Oh, right! It was back in college. Do you ever see any of those guys any more?’
‘No.’
‘Remember Tom? I wonder if he still has a games controller welded to his hand.’
‘Probably. Shouldn’t you catch up with Xane?’ Ash nudged her in the direction of her lover. Dani caught up with Xane as he was slipping his yellow contact lenses in. He blinked to make sure they were sitting right. It shocked her just how much they altered his visage. Gone were the shadows and pain she knew he had locked up inside, replaced by a vision of ghoulish decadence.
‘What?’ he asked, curling his lip in response to her stare.
‘Are you all right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘It’s just you were –’ She didn’t want to say rude, even though that’s exactly what he’d been. ‘It’s not his fault. He’s helping you out, Xane.’
‘Yeah, ’cause stepping in to drum for Black Halo is a real hardship. He’s not helping us. He’s helping himself.’
‘Must you be quite so cynical?’
‘Yes, actually.’ He sneered, in a way that probably shouldn’t have wet her panties but did.
‘Xane.’
‘What?’
She stretched on tiptoes to steal a kiss.
‘Um,’ he responded, not pushing her away.
‘Are you always this tense right before you go on?’
‘Sometimes. Not always. It’s odd going out there without him. We’ve always done this together, and now I have to introduce him.’ He inclined his head towards Iain without looking at him. ‘Like I want to go out and say, this is our farewell to Steve and, by the way, here’s his substitute.’
‘Then don’t introduce him. Just play.’
He smiled. ‘And you think I’m rude.’ He shook his head, but kept on grinning. ‘Come here. I need another one of these.’ He demanded another kiss, and another, like he hoped to find strength inside her. Rock Giant walked past and made a loud puking noise. Xane responded by sticking a finger up at him. He didn’t release her, though, not until Ash tapped him on the shoulder.
‘Time’s up, mate. You need to put the nice lady down now.’ He grasped hold of Xane’s upper arm and used the hold to turn him away from Dani and towards the stage. ‘We just need to borrow him for a bit. I swear I’ll bring him back.’
‘Stay right there,’ Xane insisted. ‘The moment I get off …’
‘You’ll what? Get her off?’ Ash interrupted. He gave her a cheeky grin. ‘We’re having a live sex show as an encore. You never said that. If I’d known, I’d have put it on the advertising.’
Xane slapped him round the head, but Dani was grateful to him for lightening the mood.
‘Save it for later, boys.’ Spook glided past them, his guitar already in his hands. ‘You can do all the manly wrestling you like post-show.’
‘I’d rather wrestle with his special friend.’ Ash grabbed Dani’s hand and twirled her round.
Xane dragged him off her. ‘Get your own special friend.’
Ash pouted. ‘But Xane, all my friends are special.’ He waved at the girls waiting patiently in the corner. ‘Since you’re bringing Dani, can I bring them along?’
Xane shoved him up onto the stage.
‘Good luck,’ Dani called after them. She went and joined Ash’s fan club, who had a prime spot at the front of the stage. She was still surprised by Ginny’s presence among them. ‘Why are you here?’ she asked again.
‘To save you the best spot in the house.’ She dragged Dani to the front, right up against the barrier. ‘And Ash is hot. I fancied another helping. You can’t blame me for wanting a little of what you have with Xane.’
‘I don’t, but … Ginny, he’s not like Xane. He’s –’
‘Thank God. You can keep mister tall, dark and brooding. I’ll have mister –’
‘– slightly less tall and brooding,’ Dani suggested.
Ginny conceded the point with a grin. ‘Yeah, I guess.’ She linked their arms. ‘This is going to be epic. Are you ready to scream yourself hoarse?’
Dani nodded, because the band had exploded into sound and there was no way Ginny would possibly hear her reply. She had to wonder at her friend’s behaviour, though. Since when was standing in the crowd or singing herself hoarse Ginny’s idea of fun? The last time they’d come to see Black Halo, Ginny hadn’t been remotely interested in seeing them play, only on scoring herself a good time. Evidently the night she’d spent with Ash, Spook and Rock Giant had changed her mind about that. She was now yelling like she was their number-one fan.
Chapter 7 (#ulink_4c3bf5b4-3de7-5955-9ace-6efcfdd28f21)
The crowd were fucking wild, baying and whooping and slamming their bodies against the barriers that lined the front of the stage. After the post-show mayhem following their last show, security weren’t up for taking risks. There was a row of hulking brutes between Xane and his audience. It didn’t matter. He blanked out everything else, the uneasy truce that had brought him here, the imposter on his stage, the six-foot incision in his chest, and immersed himself in the music and the limelight. He dragged up lyrics and raw emotions from the darkest reaches of his soul, and then spat them at the audience – who lapped them up and worshipped him, singing, screaming along with him to the songs they knew, and communicating through the rhythm of their bodies their appreciation of the new material.
For a short time, the rapture they shared made him feel whole again. Gone were the feelings of resentment, gone his anxieties. The mechanics of the band hardly seemed to matter, as long as the music continued to come from the heart and maintained its poetic beauty.
The crowd worshipped him and they went crazy over Spook and Ash back to back, fingers working lightning-fast as their guitars duelled and Rock Giant maintained the thumping bass.
He didn’t try to blank out Steve. He let his loss show as he sang his farewell to him, and if a stray tear fell, then it was no bad thing. It didn’t make him soft. It simply expressed the extent of his grief. He knew the crowd understood, that they were shocked and traumatised by Steve’s loss too.
Xane finished off the evening with a torch song, guaranteed to pierce the hearts of the audience. It was an old favourite, from Black Halo’s first album, before they’d gone multi-platinum. In fact, this song had been the one to jet them into the stratosphere. ‘Torn Into’ struck a chord with people in a big way. The crowd crooned along with him.
Sadly, gone were the days of them holding their lighters aloft as they sang. Instead, he faced a sea of lit mobile-phone faces. It wasn’t quite the same, but probably resulted in fewer burned fingers.
Time sped up while he was out there. They said their farewells. Then came back and played a bitching version of ‘Perverted Wraiths’ as an encore, the driving beat leaving their audience adrenalin-crazed and punch-drunk. Xane took his bow as the lights faded away, feeling high and more at ease than he had in months.
Backstage hummed with activity; he could feel the buzz straightaway. The crew were all on a high, grinning as they went about their jobs. There wasn’t much time to party. The plan was to pack up and hit the road tonight, so they could settle into the new venue tomorrow without too much sweat. The first few days of a tour were always a bit chaotic, until everyone got into a routine.
‘I see someone let the vultures in.’ Spook knocked knuckles with him as they joined the crowd in the green room.
Xane’s money was on it having been their manager, because of the high proportion of media types to pretty girls seeking favours.
Spook handed his guitar over to a waiting member of the crew. ‘What do you reckon, leg it straight for the dressing rooms and hope they’ve got bored and naffed off by the time we come out?’
‘Much as I applaud the dressing-room plan, I need to find Dani first.’
‘Six o’clock,’ Spook said, nodding toward the backstage bar. ‘Do you see her?’
The only person Xane could see was Rock Giant, who was something of a landmark. ‘No. Where?’
‘Wedged between Ash and the wall.’
‘Where?’ Xane wasn’t normally possessive, but he knew what a snake Ash could be when it came to getting his leg over. He wouldn’t think twice about bedding Dani, or any other girl Xane happened to show an interest in. Matter of fact, in the past he’d made a point of seducing the girls the other guys hooked up with. It seemed to be a machismo thing with him, proving he was the hottest lover or something. He was also the biggest dick, much as Xane loved him. The only reason none of them had ever called Ash out over his practices was that none of them had ever been serious about a relationship before. Except for his former relationship with Elspeth and Steve. That was different. They’d all been part of the band, and Ash had never had a look-in there.
‘Don’t tear his head off,’ Spook pleaded. ‘I don’t want to have to shop for a lead guitarist too.’
Xane ripped a pathway through the crowd. He trusted Dani. He placed no blame on her; she was innocent to Ash’s ways. She was probably just hanging with her friend waiting for him when Ash and his trouser snake had pounced.
His annoyance spiked as he drew closer and realised that Iain Willows was in on the act of fucking with his girl too. He and Ash had Dani trapped between them, like the filling in some hideous sandwich. ‘Lay off her,’ he snarled, grabbing hold of Ash’s shoulder and hauling him backwards.
‘Watch it.’ Ash shrugged him off, shaking his head. ‘You’ve met Ginny, right?’
Yes. Yes, he had. The tension flowed from his limbs, as he realised the girl he’d taken to be Dani was in fact her friend and housemate.
‘Well, hello, He-Man,’ she drawled. A vamp’s smile stretched wide across her impish face. She gave him a thorough once-over, obviously enjoying what she saw. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘Where’s Dani?’ he demanded.
‘Is that all?’ she purred, her eyes showing her disappointment. She reached out to stroke the line of his lapel. ‘I thought, seeing how eager you were to speak, that maybe you required my urgent attention with something.’
‘Yes, tell me where my girlfriend is.’
‘The little girls’ room,’ Ash replied. He reasserted his claim on Ginny by encircling her waist with one arm.
‘Right. Thanks.’ That was all he needed to know. Xane backed away immediately and searched over the heads of the crowd for a signpost to the ladies’ bathroom.
‘Seriously, he’s going to wait outside the door?’ he heard Iain remark. ‘That is so uncool.’
Xane zapped him with his laser-beam stare. God, he resented having to have this guy around.
‘Odds are he’s planning on walking straight in,’ Ash replied, at which point Xane rewrote his strategy. Dani deserved better than to be groped in a venue toilet.
‘You know, it wouldn’t kill you to hang with us for a few minutes before you go tearing off,’ Rock Giant remarked, joining them. He had Elspeth tucked against him as if she required his support to stay upright.
‘I’m going to be squashed on to a bus with you lot for the next six months. Excuse me if I enjoy a little separation while I can.’
‘Xane, I want you to meet …’ Graham Callahan, Black Halo’s manager, stepped into Xane’s path. ‘This is Jenna from Rock Out Monthly.’
‘Not now, Graham.’
‘I was just hoping I could ask you a few questions, Mr Geist,’ the woman insisted, holding a dictaphone up towards him. ‘We’re all shocked and saddened by the loss of Steve Matlock. How easy was it for you all to replace him? I understand you and he were particularly close.’
‘Not now.’ He shot Graham a particularly evil look. He was not spilling his heart to some rag that probably wasn’t even interested in the band’s music. ‘Where’s Sally?’ he demanded. ‘I need the bus keys.’
Spook co-opted the journalist, winning her over with a smile and a suggestion that they find a quiet corner.
‘She’s in the office,’ Graham responded, which Xane took to mean the motorhome that Sally and Graham used as a temporary HQ while the band was on tour.
