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“He’s okay?” he asked.
She nodded, her throat moving up and down in the exaggerated way it did with the buildup of too much emotion.
“Yes. David and Ally found him down by this restaurant we used to go to when we were kids. He’s fine. Tired and worn-out—which may have been a good thing in getting him into the car …” Her voice trailed off, and she looked out the window into the darkness of night. “But he wasn’t hurt.”
“Do you want to meet them over at your parents’ house? Is that where they’re going?”
“It is, but they don’t want me to come. David’s going to stay the night and then in the morning I’ll go over and we’ll meet with his doctor. Talk about options.” Leaning back into the seat, shoulders sagging with relief, she closed her eyes. “Could you just take me home?”
She looked fragile in the seat beside him. At that moment, all he wanted to do was pull her into his lap and hold her against his chest. Promise her all kinds of nonsense about how everything would be okay. Only it would be a lie, one that neither of them could buy into. Levi didn’t have a wealth of information about Alzheimer’s, but he knew well enough what it was like to live with a disease that couldn’t be cured.
His mother’s alcoholism. At times she was recovering, but the disease itself would never go away.
Shifting uneasily in his seat, he tried to push the thoughts of his mother away. Only the parallel was too easy to draw, especially as his mother was currently unaccounted for. In Levi’s case, however, there wasn’t anything remarkable about that. She dropped off the grid most every time one of her short-lived bouts of sobriety splashed to an end.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#ulink_57959211-aa5c-5581-bb79-083bc1bd8fcc)
BACK at her apartment, Elise dug into her pocket for her keys. Still shaken by the events of the night and particularly the rushed call from her sister when she’d gotten their father back to the house, she dropped them on the floor, then nearly stumbled trying to pick them up before Levi stepped in to retrieve them for her. Without a word he opened the door and, palm low at her back, guided her inside.
Taking her hand in his, he studied her face—brushed his thumb beneath her eye. “You’re exhausted. Let’s go to bed, honey.”
She peered up at him, and suddenly it was all more than she could bear. All the emotion she’d been fighting to control, all the doubts and fears and needs and wants. Everything burst free in a choked sob too great to contain.
Her hands flew to her face and she tried to turn away, tried to hide, but Levi’s hands were on her shoulders, pulling her back into his arms. “It’s okay, Elise. You can cry, sweetheart.”
And she did. She wanted to stop, but the strength of those arms around her were too much to resist. Levi was solid and warm. Capable. And he didn’t back down or back away beneath the barrage of her tears. Instead he gathered her closer—one hand cupping the back of her head while his other arm banded across her body. Soothing her with that gruff, low voice she hadn’t known could be so tender. “Shh. I’ve got you.”
Her forehead pressed against his chest, finding the center shallow that seemed made just for her. “He hasn’t recognized me for months. Every time I see him, he’s slipped further away. I barely recognize him as the man who raised me and—Levi, when they got home, my mom had a black eye. He’d gotten so agitated this afternoon—she said she couldn’t calm him down and it was just an accident, but …”
Levi’s hand stilled where it was, his whole body seeming to tense around her. And then his arms slipped tighter, holding her more securely than she could ever remember being held. “Has that happened before?”
She shook her head. “My dad? Never.” Her throat constricted. “He wouldn’t raise a hand to any of us. Which makes it all the worse. This disease has stolen him from us. From me. Taken the constant he’s always been and turned it into something else.”
“No. What your father’s been to you isn’t something that can be taken away. Your dad may not have the ability to remember it, but you will. He’ll always be with you. A part of you. That relationship is the foundation of who you are. No matter how you build on it, that love is always going to be there. Even when he can’t be anymore.”
Fingers smoothing the fabric of his shirt, she whispered the only words she could manage. “Thank you.”
Levi held her a minute longer, then ducked down to catch her behind her knees.
Cradled in his arms as he carried her back to her bedroom, she peered up at him. “You don’t have to do this.”
“You’re light. I’m strong. It works,” he offered, deliberately misunderstanding her.
“I’m a mess. You don’t have to stay.”
Levi’s chest rose and fell on each breath. His heart hammering a steady rhythm beneath her ear.
“Yeah, I do.” He hit the hall lights before turning into her room.
“I’d be okay.”
“I wouldn’t be.” Levi sat on her bed, his back against the headboard, legs outstretched, arms holding her against him. “I’d worry, wondering if you’d been able to sleep. I’d spend the night thinking about how much better it would have been if I were holding you instead. For now, just let me take care of you.”
Her throat tightened around a well of emotion she didn’t want to try to name and she nodded against him. In that moment, she realized he was everything she’d been telling herself she wasn’t ready to have. He was kindness and understanding. Humor and support. Tender strength and unfailing generosity. The kind of man who would be there for her—if he weren’t leaving in less than a month’s time.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#ulink_31a0724a-5642-5cd8-923e-3feaeae3f127)
AS DAYS of the week went, Sundays were a long-standing favorite with their slow pace and quiet vibe. Elise worked most of them, usually covering four classes split between two studios catering to the morning crowds, but by noon she was free and clear, and today she couldn’t wait to get home.
When she’d left at six, Levi was still in bed—all naked, stubble rough, and sound asleep—and, more than anything, she’d wanted to crawl back under the sheet and close her eyes. Let the strong arms that had held her through the night close around her again, and give into the bliss of Levi in her bed. Only as tempting as that enormous masculine body was sprawled across the too small expanse of her bed, she knew better than to risk getting within arm’s reach. A semiconscious Levi, intent on getting her body tucked back against his own, was not as receptive to reasoning about work commitments as she might need him to be.
On her first attempted break from her bed that morning he’d offered to write a note excusing her from class. When she’d mentioned a note wouldn’t get her paid, he offered to cut her a check. For a thousand bucks.
Rounding the corner, her smile spread wide and her pace picked up as she remembered the sound of that low growl of satisfaction when he buried his nose in the curve of her neck. Somehow—even with the emotional turmoil of moving her father into a special care facility this week, the hours of paperwork, and nerves running rampant through her family—Levi had kept her sane. Reminded her that she could smile. Shown her she wasn’t alone.
A flash of white caught her eye and Elise squinted down to the far end of the block. To Levi, walking her way with what looked like a paper and pastry bag in one arm and a drink tray with two coffees in the other. She wanted to blame the acceleration of her heart on her hastening steps to meet him, but it wasn’t true. More and more, it was just Levi. Doing things to the center of her chest with his grin, the strength of his arms around her, that look he gave her when she caught him off guard. His candid talk about business strategy, that easy laugh, and the way he made her feel so intensely wanted by somehow finding a way to touch her nearly every minute they were together.
Levi pressed a quick kiss to her lips and held his bounty up for display. “Hey, beautiful.”
The way he said that pushed her belly into another round of acrobatics. “You got food?”
Levi dug into the bag with a nod. “Doughnuts. From the place you like. Let’s sit in the park.”
Elise nodded, always fond of Printer’s Row Park and the small fountain there.
Seated on a bench, he passed her a chocolate-glazed doughnut, napkin, and coffee, then asked about her classes. “Mrs Fitz there this morning?”
Coffee halfway to her mouth, Elise paused. She’d told him about the sixty-eight-year-old eccentric—with form and strength that put hers to shame—weeks ago. And he remembered her name.
“She was.” And wearing one of the skimpiest yoga get-ups Elise had ever seen.
Absently sorting the sections of the paper, Levi grinned. “This is the class over at the athletic club, right?”
“Yeah, you should get a day pass just for a look at her. Or maybe not. Even closing in on seventy, she kind of blows me away.”
Levi chuckled. Elbows resting on wide-slung knees, he flipped open the entertainment section of the Trib. “Not possible.”
A warm breeze rustled the edges of the paper and teased through the strands of his dark hair. Elise leaned into the right side of Levi’s broad back, felt the vibration of his gruff, “Nice,” against her cheek where it rested on his shoulder.
Closing her eyes, she told herself to just take this moment. To hold on to it for the beautiful simplicity it offered and not to let the panicked emotions pushing at her throat free. Not to give in to those thoughts fast on the rise that were suddenly demanding to know what she was going to do when Levi left.
Because somehow, against all her best intentions, in spite of all her defenses, she’d gone and fallen in love with him.
She was over her head, and getting deeper every minute … even knowing that every day was one day closer to the one where he left town for good.
Suddenly it was all too much. The loan, the studio, her parents, her future, and the one thing that felt so totally right on the cusp of being over. Her head spun and her stomach seized. The open air around her turning thick and stale in her throat.
She jerked to her feet, stumbled back.
“Elise?” Levi was on his feet reaching for her as she desperately fumbled her keys.
Get inside. She had to—
Too late. Her stomach heaved and she lunged for the trash bin.
Inside, Levi wrung cool water into the sink and then pressed the washcloth to the back of Elise’s neck where she sat on the side of the tub, head bowed.
“I’m fine, Levi. Completely better now, though I’m not sure I’ll ever recover from the humiliation of you seeing me get sick. And in public.”
“Glad you’re recovered.” Only not really. Staring down at Elise’s slender back, the silky curls tied out of her face, and the delicate hands pressed against her eyes, Levi would have felt a hell of a lot better if Elise were still hugging the porcelain bowl, cursing a sketchy breakfast sandwich consumed some time in the last few hours. But no, the nausea that hit her out of nowhere was gone as quickly as it had come. And the only reason she was still sitting in here was because Levi hadn’t let her up yet.
He needed a minute.
Not because he couldn’t handle the sight of a woman vomit. Courtesy of his mother, he’d been hardened to that at an early age. So seeing Elise pitch at the park was about as close to old home week as he got. The only thing missing was the sinus-burning fumes of cheap liquor in the mix.
No, what had Levi’s gut wringing harder than the cloth in his hands was the short list of reasons women were suddenly, violently sick to their stomachs. Without a fever.
Yeah, Levi had definitely needed a minute.
To do some math. To think back … very carefully … and come up with a whole lot of holy hell. He couldn’t recall more than two nights at a stretch they hadn’t seen each other. In over a month.
Catching sight of himself in the battered rectangle of mirror above Elise’s single bathroom sink, Levi tried to rearrange his features into a mask of something that at least resembled calm. It wasn’t working.
Tossing the washcloth into the sink, he stalked out of the bathroom before Elise could get a look at him.
“Levi?” Elise sounded tense behind him.
Because she wasn’t sure how he’d take her blowing the contents of her stomach in front of him?
Or because she had something she hadn’t been ready to tell him … and she’d just given him a very big clue.
Gripping the back of the couch in the front room, Levi stared at the window, seeing nothing beyond. Just feeling the slow press of the walls around him. An incremental tightening of his skin.
God, it couldn’t be that.
“Levi, I don’t know what to say. I’m really embar—”
He turned, staring hard at her. “Are you pregnant?”
“What?” Confusion flashed in those guileless gray eyes. Confusion followed close by horror. “You think because I—” Her hands waved in a small churning circle. “No— Oh, my God, no.” Her shock was genuine. No one could fake that level of stunned distress—or at least Elise couldn’t.
“No. I can’t be.”
That was the answer he’d been hoping for. Only between that breath and the next, Elise’s eyes lost their conviction and her face went pale.
Damn it.
“Let’s just start simple. When was your last period?” This wasn’t the kind of conversation he typically had with his dates. But then most of his dates barely registered as more than a blip on the radar. And no, it wasn’t that he didn’t think they could get pregnant because he only slept with them once or twice. It was more that the kind of women he generally went out with tended toward the more sexually practiced. So in addition to his religious condom use, there was typically another form of birth control in play. The pill. The patch. An IUD. Something.
But Elise. She didn’t have the kind of lifestyle where she was looking to be prepared just in case something came up. Which meant the condoms he’d been packing were flying solo. And they weren’t one-hundred-percent effective.
A small furrow dug between Elise’s eyes as she pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand, using the other apparently to count on her fingers. The muscles along his spine cranked tighter.
“Aren’t you supposed to know this kind of thing?” he bit out, the words coming more harshly than intended.
A rush of pink surged up Elise’s neck and into her cheeks, making him feel like an ass of the worst variety. But this was important. For both of them.
“Okay, let me help you out here. Before you met me or after?” There were only two options; how could she not know? “Elise.”
“Just give me a minute.” Her voice had taken on a frantic edge to match the one cutting through his gut that very moment. “My cycle sometimes skips and honestly I don’t always pay a lot of attention to it.”
His vision tunneled. “You don’t pay attention to it?”
“No, Levi. I don’t. It’s never been particularly reliable and, aside from the fact that I have just a few other things going on in my life, before you, I hadn’t had sex in over a year. So no! I hadn’t paid it much attention lately.”
Unreliable.
His sanity clung to the concept like a lifeline as one breath filled his lungs, and then the next. His heart slammed, pushing blood in a rush too fast through a system already jacked on fear and dread.
“Before.” She looked up at him with a little-girl-lost stare too vulnerable for the place he was at. “It was definitely before.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#ulink_d00dc559-d5f8-5857-a27e-118e4d0e2fe5)
ELISE sat in the corner of the couch, her legs drawn up close to her body with her arms wrapped tight around them. Holding herself together. Or trying to, anyway.
It had been about six weeks since her last period. And though she’d told Levi it wasn’t the first time she’d been that late, the information seemed to have pushed him past his limit nonetheless. She’d watched, helpless, as he walked from the apartment without a word, leaving her alone in a way she hadn’t been since the day she met him.
Brows pressed against her knees, she breathed deep.
She couldn’t be pregnant—couldn’t believe she was. Wouldn’t she have felt some change in her body? A connection to something bigger than she, and yet contained within her?
Granted, her life was full in a way she wasn’t exactly accustomed to these days. The distractions vast, each one more consuming than the last. But she hadn’t sensed … anything.
Even at Levi’s prompting, all she felt growing within her was denial.
The certain sense that it simply couldn’t be. It wouldn’t be fair. After all the waiting. After all the work. To finally be so close to reaching her goals— A pang of guilt struck her hard in the chest.
Selfish.
If she was pregnant, there wouldn’t be any room for that kind of thinking. Their baby would deserve better.
Their baby …
Hers and Levi’s. This thing between them wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a single night. It wasn’t supposed to turn into something Elise had begun wondering if she could live without. It wasn’t supposed to be love.
Levi was leaving in three weeks’ time.
But a baby would change everything.
