Stir Me Up

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“It wouldn’t have been a mess if you hadn’t been bothering me.”

“You’re going up to Burlington with me.”

“If I go will you add my Napoleon to the menu?”

“No. The dish needs work.”

I grit my teeth and say nothing.

“Clean up your mess.”

“I’m not going to UVM with you.”

He looks at me and frowns. “I don’t want you to just be a chef all your life. Work so hard. Never have time for your children on evenings or weekends or holidays. You’re a woman. You’ll be a mother. Cooking is okay when you’re young, but as you get older you’ll need something with regular hours and security. You should go to the university. Work part-time as a chef while you’re up there if you want. But at least get the degree so you have a way to make something else of your life when you get older and your priorities change.”

I’ve heard this speech before. Many times, in fact. “Uh-huh.”

“What are you doing?”

“Trying again.” My fingers, I realize, are the problem. I switch to toothpicks.

“Less goat cheese as you go higher.”

“Yeah.” I use less. When I get the final layer on, I glance at Dad. He’s completely focused on my creation.

“Et voilà!” I say. “Ta-da!”

Dad smiles—and the whole thing topples over.

* * *

That Sunday morning, I decide to treat everyone to a batch of homemade muffins for breakfast. I like making them with Greek yogurt, but all we have on hand is sour cream, so I just use that. Once the muffin base is ready, I decide on adding apples to the centers and streusel to the tops of each. They’re in the oven when I see Dad come down and head outside for a morning run. He hasn’t mentioned the trip up to Burlington since the other day—fortunately. I really don’t want to have to go tour the school and do all that. I’m still planning to fill out the application. Mostly to keep him satisfied and because filling it out doesn’t seem all that difficult. Just one application, to the state school—a few essays and I’m done. Of course, I still need to figure out what I’m really going to do. I can’t just stay in town dating Luke and working at Étoile my whole life.