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Jocelyn wrote:
< And since when is “lesbian” a proper noun? And is there a problem with her fingers that she is unable to type out the word “you”?>
Ahhh, Jocelyn, now u r speaking my language!
Phyllis
Phyllis wrote:
< Ahhh, Jocelyn, now u r speaking my language!
>
Hey, great joke, Phyllis! Your sense of humor is really improving!
Brenna
Thank you! It was the elective graduate course in Joking 101 that did the trick.
Phyllis
Oh, man. I’m in awe.
Like totally.
Brenna
Hey Rossie-girl,
Saw that post on the loop from that new chica. She made you look about as sharp as a…oops, never mind. Was going to lapse into a Texasism, and I promised you not to. But sheesh, sis— Houston is really growing on me for real! I’ve perfected the “y’all” and “wajeet” (what did you eat). Not such an act for me anymore.
Anyhow, I’m sorry about what Hannah said. She was rude. You going to talk to her about it? I’ve half a mind to let her know what we Texans do to little chits who diss on our family members.
You hang tough now, you hear?
Veronica
Dearest sister,
You can relax— I’m perfectly fine. Hannah obviously has a lot of repressed anxiety and an emotional hunger for acceptance and a sense of superiority. These things are inflicted on the juvenile psyche and manifest themselves in a variety of ways, include an inability to gauge appropriate social behavior. I wonder how her relationship with her father is? Regardless, I’m not planning to speak to her about it at all. It’s not my problem.
Anyway, rest assured I am not allowing her emotional unrest and woundedness to disturb my personal sense of peace and well-being. I just picture Jesus as my bubble of light, surrounding me as I float down the sewers of life. No matter how murky the waters, they don’t need to contaminate my inner wholeness. Oh, Ronnie, I can’t tell you how freeing it is! This sort of thing would have made me so angry a year and a half ago, but now…it just rolls right off.
Though I would like to know what you were going to say… Sharp as a what? You have my permission, dear girl, to “speak Texan.” I don’t even care if it’s put on or genuine. Those sort of petty issues no longer have the power to upset my spiritual centeredness.
With love,
Rosalyn
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
Was going to say, “She made you look about as sharp as a mashed potato.”
Therapy or not, you are still one bizarre chick, sis. Shrink turned you into a Buddhaesque freak. Either that, or you’re on some pretty strong drugs.
Veronica
LOL! Neither.
I’m high on the peace of Jesus and emotional wholeness.
Rosalyn
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
I think Buddha-enhanced drugs would be less scary than your evangelical-induced Nirvana. But you know I love ya anyway.
Veronica
Hey, hotstuff, what are you doing?
Working, of course. Nobody warned me that interior design would entail marital counseling. I’ve got a meeting tomorrow with the Kerricks, who are fighting over the design of their master suite. She said she wanted “red walls and gold satin curtains” and his response was “Great, we’ll be sleeping in a bordello.”
She said, “And how would you know about that?”
“Well, how else is a guy going to get some action, huh?”
And then they were off. I know FAR too much about the Kerricks now. Blech!
So my job tomorrow is to calm them both down before they decide to get a divorce and leave me with an outstanding bill. This is NOT what they trained us for in school!
What are you doing? Where are the kids?
Love ya!
Dulcie
I’m e-mailing you. The kids are…let’s see… MacKenzie is doing a hair-singeing experiment with the lighter, and I gave the twins permission to take their dolls to the roof and play up there for a while.
Your humor is sad, as in S-A-H-D, stay-at-home DAD SAD. You obviously are bored and don’t have enough to keep you busy. You could bring me a snack or something.
A snack? Do I look like a live-in maid? Sheesh. I cook for you, I clean for you, I care for the kids—and this is the thanks I get? Bring me a snack? I’m insulted.
You might as well—you’ve still got a dish towel over your shoulder. You look like housekeeper material to me. Just missing the apron.
Shoot! I forgot again. I hate that— I put it there when I load the dishwasher, and then it’s there the rest of the day. But an apron? Not even on my dead body, got it? A SAHD has to have SOME boundaries.
And why are you e-mailing me when I’m sitting not four feet away from you?
Me? You started it!
Instant Message
Huck: True. This better?
Dulcet: No! I can’t IM. I have to work!
Huck: Chill, sweetheart. It’ll be okay.
Dulcet: No, it won’t. How would you like this little entrepreneurial endeavor of Homemaker Interiors to fail before it’s even two months old? Right now, the Kerricks are my ONLY clients.
Huck: You’re not going to fail.
Dulcet: If they bail on me because their marriage breaks up, we’re not going to make the house payment next month.
Huck: They won’t bail.
Dulcet: From your lips to God’s ears.
Huck: And don’t worry about the house payment. That’s what our year’s worth of savings is for.
Dulcet: Yeah, but I don’t want to use it! It takes at least three years to get a business going. And about half that money is from our parents. Even though
Huck: Yes, it’s called an “investment.”
Dulcet: it’s a gift…yeah, or “investment,” I still don’t want to use it until absolutely necessary.
Huck: I know. But it will be okay.
Dulcet: Thanks for the vote of confidence. I just know how much is riding on me succeeding with this. It’s really scary sometimes.
Huck: Don’t put so much pressure on yourself—it’s not just you. We’re in this together, remember? And WHY are we having this conversation via IM when we are sitting in the same room?
Dulcet: YOU STARTED IT!!! And anyway, I have to get back to work. Somebody has to earn money in this family, mister.
Huck: Hey, you can’t be so high and mighty with me, Ms. Self-Employed Business Woman. Dulcet: Why not?
Huck: Because I’ve seen you wake up, and it’s impossible to be a snob to someone who snuggled you first thing this morning.
Dulcet: Snuggled? Is that what you’re calling it now?
Huck: Is that inaccurate?
Dulcet: I am WORKING! I am professional and very busy!!!
Huck: You’re blushing…it’s so cute.
Dulcet: I cannot IM you about stuff like that right now or else the Kerricks’ master suite WILL end up looking like a bordello! Don’t you have some preschool disaster to clean up or something?
Huck: I love you, Dulcie.
Dulcet: I love you, too. Now go away.
Dulcet: And stop laughing at me!
Huck signed off at 3:48:23 p.m.
Dulcet signed off at 3:48:35 p.m.
Okay, I’ll play. I just got home from my twins’ ten month checkup. Tess is doing great. But we’re worried about Patrick. He is just now sitting up without support, but he can’t get himself there on his own yet. And the doctor says he should be able to pull into a standing position!
Tess is such a go-getter, but Patrick doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t try to reach for toys, and he hardly ever makes a sound. He’s a lot smaller than Tess, too. At first, I thought he’s just a really laid-back kid, but now I’m afraid he’s actually behind. Lots of studies talk about how in vitro fertilization babies are at higher risk for developmental delays, and my two were from a frozen embryo adoption, too! What if all the antiembryo adoption people are right, and it’s our fault that Patrick is delayed? They all say that frozen embryos are weaker and more prone to developing birth defects.
The pediatrician said we need to look for hidden ear infections. But I’m worried it might be worse than that. We love Patrick, but if there’s something wrong with him, Darren will be devastated. He’s under a lot of pressure to do the whole “have a son to take over the farm” thing with his family. What if Patrick can’t do that?
And yeah, I got the guilt thing going on, too. It shouldn’t matter if there’s anything wrong with Patrick or not. We will still love him anyway. We shouldn’t be disappointed or put expectations on our kids. I know. And I feel bad because I’m doing it anyway.
How’s that for total honesty?
Brenna
Brenna, thanks for being so honest. I don’t want to make light of your worries, but I used to also worry a lot about Helene. She’s always been so obstinate and headstrong— I thought maybe she had some psychopathic disorder. But she’s just strong willed. And now that she’s three and a half, she’s getting better. My slowly stiffening backbone about being firm with her is helping a lot, too.
I guess I’m trying to say that ten months old is a little early to be too worried about developmental stuff. Kids grow at different rates. Your pediatrician wasn’t too worried, right?
I’ve got “boy troubles”, too—of a different sort—with little Neil, who is now just over two years old. Actually, it’s not him so much as it is me. Me and my lifelong inability to stand up to anybody or deal with disapproval or conflict. I’ve gotten so much more confident about being firm with Helene that I thought it wouldn’t be a problem with Neil, either. And it’s not…well, not directly.
I know I’m not making much sense, but I don’t have the energy to explain it right now. I definitely don’t want to get into it on the loop quite yet. That’s my honest confession. I still have a lot of clashes with Helene. Sometimes I just can’t deal with any more conflicts, and this thing with Neil will definitely create a controversy there.
Anyway, try not to stress about Patrick. He’s probably just fine.
Love,
Marianne
Okay, everyone, here’s my deep, dark confession. I haven’t told ANYBODY on the loop this yet…
About a month ago, my husband, Shane, got a huge promotion—to VP of the web design firm he works for. Came with a big raise, and we’re all really happy about it. But here’s the kicker— Shane and I had a long discussion. Seems he’s STILL not satisfied about my ability to say “no” to doing stuff. I mean, it’s a lot better than it was a couple of years ago. We’re still homeschooling, and with four kids—one of whom is now a teenager—there’s bound to be a lot of activities. We only let the kids pick three extra things per week to be involved in. So it’s only twelve total! But I’m not directing the church Christmas production, or teaching the marriage classes, or coordinating the home school co-op classes. I still lead a women’s Bible study group, but that’s ministry so it doesn’t count!
I tried to explain all this to Shane. He says that since I am pathologically unable to maintain anything resembling a sane schedule that his only alternative is to…
HIRE EXTRA HELP!
That’s right—he forced me to hire a housekeeping service! And he’s making me allow a teen home school student come over to be a “mommy’s helper.” As if I need help or something! Can you believe it?
So now, I have to go away once a week and when I come home, the Happy Housekeepers have been all over my home—straightening, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms. Yes, they CLEAN my bathrooms! It’s so embarrassing.
And Tasha, the homeschooler, comes twice a week to tutor and watch Evelyn and Audra so I can take Cassia to dance lessons and Tyler to home school band. (He’s playing the saxophone—isn’t that terrific?)
