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‘Not really, apart from this little moppet.’ Tullah laughed as she broke off from cuddling Amelia, Caspar and Olivia’s two-year-old daughter, to answer Olivia’s question.
‘Ah well, if that’s what you fancy, it isn’t a house you should be looking for, it’s a man,’ Olivia teased her gently.
‘No thanks,’ Tullah retorted, the smile dying out of her eyes as she handed Amelia over to her mother, her full mouth compressing firmly.
‘Tullah...’ Olivia began, then stopped as she saw the look she was giving her. Good friends though they had always been, Tullah was the type who held herself slightly aloof from others and whom, despite her stunningly voluptuous and sensual looks, the men in the large organisation they had both worked for had very quickly learned to treat with wary caution.
Olivia knew the reason for Tullah’s wariness of the male sex and she also knew that Tullah didn’t like to discuss her love life.
She knew that the only time Tullah did let her guard down with men was when she was with one she knew to be happily attached to another woman. Because she felt safe with such a man?
‘So none of the properties was any good, then?’ she asked sympathetically.
Tullah pulled a face. ‘Well, the modern single-bedroomed flats they showed me were affordable, but very anonymous, and the cottages were either too large or too expensive or both. There was one, though....’ She paused whilst Olivia waited. ‘Well, it just had so many things against it, and even the agent said that it had only been included on the list at the last minute, but...’
‘But...’ Olivia encouraged patiently.
Tullah gave her a rueful look and admitted, ‘But it was quite definitely a case of love at first sight.’
‘Oh dear,’ Olivia sympathised, ‘as bad as that?’
‘And more,’ Tullah agreed wryly, ticking points off on her fingers. ‘It’s overpriced, on the wrong side of town for work. It needs a fortune spent on it. Possibly spraying for infestation of the wood, rewiring, new plumbing—you name it. It doesn’t even have mains drainage.’
‘So what does it have?’ Olivia asked, adding helpfully, ‘It must have some plus points otherwise you wouldn’t have fallen for it.’
‘Oh, it does,’ Tullah agreed. ‘The place is surrounded by farm land. There’s the most wonderful view from upstairs of the river. It has a huge garden. It’s one of a pair of semis, the other half of which is owned by a couple of elderly widowed sisters who apparently travel a lot to Australia to visit relatives. The lane leading to it doesn’t go anywhere other than to a farmhouse that you can’t even see from my cottage.’
‘A farmhouse...’ Olivia was looking intrigued and slightly excited. ‘Where exactly is this cottage, Tullah? It sounds—’
‘It sounds horrendous, I know,’ Tullah finished for her, ‘and certainly not the sort of thing a sane, sensible, professional woman of my age should even think about buying. Even if it were a bargain, which it most certainly isn’t, it could be months before it’s even properly habitable.’
‘Well, you could always stay here,’ Olivia offered generously, and when Tullah shook her head, she asked, ‘So what did you do? Tell the agent it just wasn’t feasible?’
‘No,’ Tullah admitted with a shamefaced grin. ‘I made an offer....’
Both of them were still laughing when Caspar walked into the kitchen and, of course, just like a man, could not really comprehend the reason for their combined mirth even when Olivia had explained the situation to him.
‘Saul rang while you were out,’ he told Olivia. ‘He’s going to be a little later than planned getting here for dinner this evening, something about problems with the babysitter, but he said he’ll definitely be here for eight-thirty.’
‘That’s fine. I’ve invited Saul and Jon and Jenny round for dinner tonight,’ she explained to Tullah. ‘Which reminds me, your cottage—’ She broke off as the young retriever dog lying in its basket in front of the Aga gave a small protesting yelp as Amelia pulled its tail, gently chiding her daughter as she went to rescue the dog. ‘No, Amelia, you’re hurting Flossy. You have to be gentle with her.’
A couple of hours later as she stood in front of the pretty Victorian cheval-glass in Olivia’s best guest bedroom studying her appearance, Tullah reflected that she would much rather simply have spent the evening relaxing with Olivia and Caspar instead of having to sit down and make polite dinner-party conversation. She had met both Jon and Jenny, together with Saul before and whilst she had liked the older couple, so far as Saul was concerned...
The dress she had chosen to wear had been a sale bargain she had been coaxed into getting by her mother and sister up from Hampshire for a shopping weekend, and as she had protested at the time, she didn’t think it was really her.
Lucinda, her sister, had shaken her head in her elder sisterly way and told her to stop being silly. ‘Of course it’s you. That vanilla shade is perfect with your skin colouring and hair and the dress itself couldn’t be simpler or easier to wear. If I wasn’t so huge at the moment I’d be tempted to buy it myself.’
‘Well, you aren’t going to be pregnant for ever,’ Tullah had countered, but Lucinda had shaken her head and groaned.
‘Believe me, at this stage another three months feels like for ever, and besides, I doubt I’m ever going to be slim enough to wear anything like that again—or to have the occasion to wear it.’
The vanilla colour of the Ghost dress did suit her, Tullah was forced to admit, but she was still aware that the narrow, slender, slightly clinging effect of the silky fabric with its bias cut was not something she would ever have chosen for herself.
The dress’s round neckline was discreet enough, but the way the fabric moved, the way it clung sensuously to her curves... Fortunately she had spotted a separate jacket in the same fabric, which she had also brought with her. As she slipped it on, she acknowledged that she was going to be rather hot wearing it.
Downstairs the doorbell rang.
Pulling the jacket around her, Tullah hurried to the door and went downstairs, expecting to see Jon and Jenny standing in the hallway with Olivia. She came to an abrupt halt halfway down the stairs when she realised that the first arrival was not Olivia’s aunt and uncle but her cousin!
‘Tullah.’ Olivia’s eyes widened slightly and appreciatively as she saw her friend.
‘No matchmaking,’ Caspar had told her firmly, but really... it was such a waste....
‘You remember Saul, don’t you?’ She continued smiling from Tullah to Saul, who was standing next to her.
‘Yes,’ Tullah agreed coolly, pretending not to see the hand Saul had extended towards her and making sure that she stood on the opposite side of Olivia from him and just out of eyeshot.
‘Yes...well, Caspar’s in the dining room, Saul, if you’d like a drink. You obviously managed to sort out your babysitting problem,’ Olivia said, smiling.
‘Luckily yes,’ he agreed. ‘Since the custody case, I’m having to be a bit more careful about whom I leave them with...’
As she listened to him, Tullah was glad that neither he nor Olivia was looking at her because she knew her expression must be betraying her feelings. What kind of father exactly was Saul if it took the full weight of the legal system to compel him to ensure that his young children were left provided with a proper babysitter? One read of appalling cases where small children were left with inappropriate sitters or, in some reprehensible cases, no sitter at all, often with shocking consequences. It certainly couldn’t be any kind of financial hardship that prevented Saul from paying someone qualified to look after his children.
Personally she found it quite wrong that he should choose to go out during one of his children’s custody visits instead of spending time with them and she was rather surprised that Olivia had encouraged him to do so.
‘I’ll come and give you a hand in the kitchen,’ she offered, shaking her head when Olivia suggested she might like to join the men for a drink whilst they waited for Jon and Jenny to arrive. The last thing she wanted was to have to spend any more time than necessary in conversation with Saul Crighton.
‘Olivia was telling me that you’ll soon be joining us at Aarlston-Becker,’ Saul commented to Tullah, shaking his head as Caspar offered to refill his wineglass. ‘Better not,’ he told the other man. ‘I’m driving.’
Well at least he had some sense of responsibility, Tullah reflected, although she didn’t think much of a man who quite obviously considered his driving licence to be more important than his children.
‘Yes, that’s right,’ she agreed, answering his question and then turning to Jon, who was seated on the other side of her, to ask him if the arrival of the huge multinational locally had had much effect on their own business.
‘Well, it’s certainly bumped up our conveyancing work,’ Jon replied, smiling, ‘although, as you know, all of Aarlston’s internal and corporate legal work is handled by its own legal department. Olivia was saying that you specialised in European law.’
‘Yes, that’s right,’ Tullah agreed again between spoonfuls of Olivia’s delicious home-made vichyssoise. She enjoyed cooking herself, not that it was something she got much time for.
‘Tullah spent a year working in The Hague,’ Olivia informed her uncle, smiling at her friend. ‘Something else you and Saul have in common,’ she added to Tullah. ‘Saul worked there for a while. That was how he met Hillary.’
‘Your wife?’ Tullah commented coolly to Saul.
‘My ex-wife,’ he corrected her evenly, but he was looking at her, Tullah noticed, in a way that said he was aware of her hostility towards him.
Aware of it, she suspected, but not particularly concerned by it. But then, why should he be? By any normal standards, Saul would be considered a very attractive and personable man, and it was plain from the way they talked to him that both Olivia and Jenny had something of a soft spot for him. He was certainly not the type of man who would ever lack female company or appreciation, but he would certainly never have hers, and Tullah could only admire the friendly and warm way that Caspar treated him in view of the fact that Saul had deliberately tried to break up Caspar’s own relationship with Olivia.
‘Aarlston’s certainly sounds an excellent firm to work for from what you’ve told us about them, Saul,’ Jon intervened tactfully.
‘They are,’ Saul confirmed, adding, ‘In fact, they’re acknowledged as being leaders in the field of sexual equality and they were one of the first multinationals to provide not just crèche facilities for the mothers amongst their employees, but also to introduce paternal leave on the birth of a new baby as automatic. I’ve certainly found them very good about the amount of time I’ve had to take off recently over the children, especially with the custody case.’
‘It always amazes me how many men seem to develop a strong paternal instinct when they’re threatened with losing their children,’ Tullah commented grittily, darting an acid look in Saul’s direction.
‘Fathers can tend to take their role in their children’s lives for granted,’ Jon agreed peaceably.
Saul said nothing but he was watching her very closely, Tullah knew, and the look in his eyes did not suggest that it was any kind of male desire or approval that was prompting his visual concentration on her.
Good! If she had probed beneath the arrogance of his self-confidence and found a vulnerable spot, so much the better. She could still remember the anguish her father had put them all through by insisting on his visiting rights with them—visits that more often than not were forgotten or, when remembered, turned out to be miserable afternoons spent watching television in his high-rise apartment, forbidden to disturb him whilst he worked. But then, of course, it had never been their company he wanted. No, what he had wanted was quite simply to deprive their mother of it and to cause as much upset in her life as he could.
Olivia started to collect their empty soup dishes, and Tullah jumped up to help her.
‘There’s no need...’ Olivia began, but Tullah shook her head, quickly gathering up her own and Jon’s dishes, and then tensing as she realised that Saul had picked his up to pass to her.
The temptation to simply ignore him was so strong that she was almost on the point of doing so and turning away when she happened to catch his eye.
The cynical comprehension she could see there was disconcerting but nowhere near as disconcerting as his easy but oh so calmly determined, ‘You sit down. I’ll take care of these,’ as he neatly turned the tables on her and stood up, towering above her, or so it seemed. He deftly relieved her of the dishes she was holding and then, turning away from her, told Olivia warmly, ‘That soup was delicious. You’ll have to give me the recipe.’
‘Oh, it’s simple enough, really,’ Olivia started to assure him as they both headed for the kitchen. ‘Just so long as you’ve got a decent blender.’
‘Saul’s really determined to give the children a stable home background, isn’t he?’ Jenny commented when the couple were both out of earshot. ‘I really do admire him for what he’s trying to do.’
‘Why is it that when a man’s a single parent he gets so much more sympathy than a woman in the same situation?’ Tullah asked grimly. ‘And Saul isn’t even a full-time single parent.’ She fell silent as the kitchen door reopened and Saul and Olivia returned.
Tullah could see that she had surprised Jenny a little by her antagonistic remark but she was growing irritated hearing Saul given so much praise that he patently did not deserve.
‘Did you get much chance to visit any of the museums while you were working in The Hague?’
‘Some,’ Tullah responded dismissively to Saul’s question. She had made up her mind not to respond to the man’s conversational overtures. The longer she sat and listened to the others, the more aware she was of the high esteem in which they all, but most especially Jenny and Olivia, held Saul, and for some reason that made her all the more determined to hold on to her own antagonism towards him.
Why, after all, should a man be praised simply because he took on the responsibility of his own children for one weekend in four or whatever it was that Saul’s access arrangements allowed for? Even then he apparently couldn’t bring himself to spend the whole of his time with them but instead found someone else to take care of them for him so that he could come out to dinner and bask in the admiration and affection of his female relatives. Some father!
She could well remember her own father doing much the same thing, leaving them with his mother, their grandmother, on the pretext of having to see someone about business.
‘Tullah...I was telling Saul in the kitchen just now about the cottage you saw this afternoon. Tullah’s fallen in love with a cottage she viewed earlier today,’ she explained for the benefit of the others. ‘It’s—’
‘It’s completely out of the question,’ Tullah interrupted her quickly, ‘and totally impractical.’
‘Sometimes it does us good to be impractical, to indulge ourselves in our daydreams...our fantasies,’ she heard Saul saying. ‘They are, after all, an important part of what makes us human.’
Tullah felt a small frisson of sensation run down her spine but when she looked at him to refute what he had said she saw that he wasn’t looking at her but at Olivia...and she was quite openly smiling back at him.
Tullah’s head ached. She felt tired and very much aware of the fact that she stood outside the tightly knit and obviously very close family network that bonded together the other five people seated round the table with her.
‘When does Louise finish university for the year?’ Saul asked Jenny apparently casually.
As Tullah stiffened with shock and disgust to hear Saul questioning Jenny so carelessly about her daughter, a girl who must be almost twenty years younger than Saul himself and whom she had heard described illuminatingly as having a very intense crush on Saul, she saw that Jenny was looking uncomfortable, as well, her glance straying to her husband before she responded quietly, ‘Officially not for another few months although she did say she might come home earlier. Apparently her lectures finish a little ahead of the official end of term.’
It was obvious that Jenny was ill at ease discussing her daughter with Saul, and no wonder, given what Tullah knew about the situation between them. In fact, Tullah could only marvel at both Jenny’s forbearance and Saul’s breathtaking arrogance and obvious disregard for Jenny and Jon’s feelings as Louise’s parents.
All in all, Tullah felt relieved when the evening finally came to an end and Jon and Jenny got up to leave. Shortly afterwards, declining a nightcap, Saul, too, announced that he must go.
Caspar offered to see him out and whilst they were gone Tullah followed Olivia into the kitchen to help her clear up.
‘Saul’s a darling,’ Olivia began warmly as she started to stack the dishwasher. ‘I just hope...wish...’ She stopped speaking as she saw Tullah’s expression. ‘You don’t like him, do you?’ she asked her friend quietly.
‘I’m sorry, Olivia,’ Tullah apologised. ‘But no, I don’t. I know he’s your cousin, a member of your family but...’ She took a deep breath and lifted her head, forcing herself to meet Olivia’s expression of shocked dismay. ‘He’s everything I most dislike in a man, Olivia. I know that you...that you and he...’ She shook her head awkwardly. ‘I mean, just look at the way he left his children tonight to come here. A man like that doesn’t deserve to be a father. He—’
‘Tullah...’ she heard Olivia interrupting her in a stifled warning voice, but it was too late. Tullah followed her gaze and, turning round, saw Saul standing behind her in the open doorway, a tight, furiously angry expression on his face.
‘For your information, the only reason I left my children as you so ill-informedly put it to come here tonight was because Olivia asked me—’
‘Saul,’ Olivia intervened pleadingly, ‘Tuilah didn’t mean...she doesn’t realise—’
‘On the contrary, I realise all too well,’ Tullah objected curtly.
‘I came back to check if it was still all right to leave Meg with you on Monday night,’ Saul asked Olivia, totally ignoring Tullah.
‘Yes, of course it is. Caspar will collect her from school and bring her back here.’
Saul turned to leave and then seemed to hesitate, turning to look at Tullah scathingly before saying quietly, ‘I hope you prove to be rather more thorough and responsible in your attitude to your work than you appear to be in your attitude to your fellow human beings,’ he told her coldly. ‘Because if not...’
‘Because if not, what?’ Tullah challenged him, lifting her chin. He might be above her in status in the company, but his involvement with the transatlantic side of the business meant, thankfully, that they were hardly likely to come into much contact with one another.
‘I must go, Livvy,’ Saul said, ignoring her once more. ‘I promised Bobbie I’d be back before twelve. She and Luke want to spend some time with Aunt Ruth and Grant before they fly back to Boston.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Olivia returned. ‘I think it was wonderful the way Ruth and Grant made a prenuptial agreement to each spend six months of every year living in one another’s country.’
‘A decision worthy of Solomon,’ Saul agreed with a smile. His smile disappeared as he turned back towards Tullah and gave her a small, terse nod of his head before saying curtly, ‘Good night.’
Tullah barely waited for the door to close behind Saul’s departing back before saying huskily, ‘Would you mind if I went up to bed, Liwy? I’ve got a bit of a headache and—’
‘No, no, you go up,’ Olivia assured her. Tullah knew her antagonism towards Saul had disturbed her but still she couldn’t apologise for it or take back what she had said.
An hour later as she snuggled up in bed next to Caspar, Olivia told him sleepily, ‘I can’t understand why Tullah is so antagonistic towards Saul of all people. He really is one of the nicest men you could ever meet. Uncle Hugh used to say that it was just as well Saul decided to go into industry because, despite all his professional qualifications, he just doesn’t have that aggressive hard edge you need to make it to the top as a barrister. Luke’s got it, of course, and—’
‘Mmm...she does seem to have taken rather a dislike to him,’ Caspar agreed, kissing the top of her head before adding reassuringly, ‘It’s just as well you didn’t have him picked out as a possible father for the children you’ve decided Tullah wants to have.’ He chuckled at the thought.
‘Saul and Tullah... No, that would never work,’ Olivia declared, laughing.
‘Daddy...’
‘Mmm...’ Saul responded, bending down to tuck a stray curl off his younger daughter’s face. She had been crying in her sleep in the grip of one of the bad nightmares she had started having whilst she was staying in America with her mother and Hillary’s second husband. Having woken her gently from it and calmed her down, Saul watched her tenderly in the light from the small child’s lamp as he waited for her to go back to finish whatever it was she wanted to say to him.
‘You won’t ever go away and leave us, will you?’
Somehow he managed to resist the impulse to snatch her up out of her small bed and hold her close.
‘Well, sometimes I do have to go away on business,’ he responded calmly and matter-of-factly, ‘and sometimes you go away, too, when you leave to stay with Mummy, but I promise you I won’t ever go away from you for very long, poppet.’
‘Do I really have to go and stay with Mummy even if I don’t want to?’
