скачать книгу бесплатно
But did she really want to return to their old friendship? She thought about being in his arms and her skin tingled. Except Louisa Cochrane was the woman in his arms. She had, somehow, been completely forgotten.
But tonight she intended to change that.
It was their turn to alight from the coach. She was terribly nervous about seeing Alexi again. Jack dutifully helped her down, her voluminous satin skirts being somewhat treacherous. She was wearing her most stunning dress tonight. The gown was at once sophisticated and daring—even her brother’s eyes had widened when he had first seen her in it. Of lavender silk, the low-cut bodice revealed a great deal of her chest and shoulders. The dress boasted expansive demigigot sleeves while the equally full skirts were intricately beaded and the narrow waistline was banded with darker velvet and a bow. She wore amethyst and diamond jewelry to complete the ensemble. Surely Alexi would notice her now.
As he guided her to the front door, Jack whispered, “I wonder, Elysse, just whom are you wearing that dress for?”
She flushed and glared at him. Elysse kept her voice low. “I have no idea what you mean.”
He grinned at her. “After you, sister.”
Standing at the front door with Cliff and Amanda was the guest of honor.
Alexi looked directly at her. Elysse paused behind her parents, trying not to make a sharp sound. She hadn’t seen Alexi in formal evening wear in years. He was so devastatingly handsome, so impossibly male. Now she knew she hadn’t imagined the desire she had felt earlier in the week. Her heart leaped. If she wasn’t careful, he would guess that she had somehow become terribly attracted to him. Suddenly, when she was usually the queen of every ball and the center of so much attention, she did not know what to do. How on earth could she get him to realize that she was a beautiful woman?
She dared to glance at him again. Although he moved to greet her parents, his gaze was unwavering upon her.
She wondered if he knew about her second outing with Montgomery. It was now her turn to greet their hosts. She kissed Amanda’s cheek, murmuring a greeting, and smiled at Cliff. Even as she gave Cliff her hand, she felt Alexi staring at her. Heat crested in her cheeks. Slowly, she looked up.
“Hello, Elysse.” He spoke softly—intimately—taking her entirely by surprise. “You are stunning tonight. Clearly, you will be the belle of this ball.”
She knew he meant it and she smiled at him, thrilled. “And you are so very handsome in your tuxedo, Alexi. Surely you are the most dashing gentleman here.”
She thought she saw some amusement in his blue eyes, but she couldn’t be certain. His dark brows lifted. “Is Jack your escort?”
She felt her tension escalate and she wet her lips. “I don’t have an escort,” she managed. “So we are no longer arguing?”
His gaze held her own regard. “We are not arguing. I don’t want to fight with you.”
She smiled happily, but she was aware of remaining incredibly nervous. “Do you really like my dress?”
His long, thick, black lashes lowered. It was a moment before she realized that his gaze had moved down her bodice before jerking back up to her face. A slight flush marked his high cheekbones. “Of course I like the dress. Every man here will like the dress. It is indecent on an unwed woman, Elysse.” His tone seemed rough.
Before she could protest that his claim was absurd, he said, “But when you chose it, you knew that you would attract even more attention than you usually do.”
She trembled. She had chosen the dress to attract his attention, but she could hardly admit that. “Every woman dresses up for a ball, especially when there are so few these days.”
He did not respond and she realized they were holding up the line. She lowered her voice and said, “I heard that you are leaving for Cyprus soon.”
His gaze sharpened. Without turning, he said to Cliff, “Excuse us for a moment.”
“What are you doing?” she asked, as he pulled her from the front of the queue. They moved toward the long ebony console set against the pale stone wall. A tall, gilded baroque mirror was above it. In it, she saw their reflections—his serious, hers almost frightened. From the corner of her eye, she glimpsed Montgomery watching them, but she couldn’t care about that now.
“Yes, I will embark for Cyprus within days. How did you hear that?” he demanded.
She hesitated, not wanting to admit that Montgomery had told her.
He laughed. “As if I don’t know.”
“Are we going to argue again?” she cried, dismayed. “You have been so terribly preoccupied since your return, we have hardly had a word. I was hoping I might even have a dance with you,” she said. She felt her cheeks flame at the idea of having to ask him for a dance—and all because she wanted to be in his arms. She did not want to discuss Montgomery now. “You haven’t called.”
He avoided her eyes. “I have been busy.”
She hated Louisa Cochrane. How had that fat old hen caught his attention? “Were you planning to call and say goodbye, or did you mean to simply sail away for another two years?”
His gaze shot to hers, filled with surprise. “You sound accusing. Did you miss me, Elysse? Surely you were too busy with your five marriage proposals to ever think of me!”
She fumbled with her beaded purse. She had missed him, and she would miss him even more when he left this time. “I never expected you to stay away for so long,” she said, at a loss. His brows rose and she whispered, “Two and a half years is a very long time.”
After a long moment, he said, “Yes, it is.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him to forgo the short run to Cyprus and back. “Why didn’t you come home?”
“I meant to do so after I returned from Canada, but I was offered a bonus for a timely run to Jamaica, and I could not refuse the agent.”
It had been business, she thought, but that did not make it any easier. “Are you ever homesick, when you are away?” What she wanted to know was if he had missed her.
His gaze widened. “Of course I am. I am homesick all of the time. It is lonely on the high seas, Elysse, especially on the night watch.”
She imagined him at the helm on his clipper ship in the Indian Ocean, the night black but bright and starry, the ship’s mainsails full, canvas moaning in the breeze. “I know how much you love the sea, how you love adventure.”
“Loneliness is a small price to pay,” he agreed. “The sea will always be my mistress.”
A naval captain’s daughter, she understood. “Don’t stay away again for so long,” she heard herself say. She flushed.
“Why would it matter, when you are so preoccupied with your parties and balls, and with your endless parade of suitors?”
“Of course it matters,” she said, his stare making her uncomfortable. “We are friends.”
“I wonder how many new suits there will be, by the time I next return?”
His tone was mild and she did not know what to say. “I am unwed. Of course there will be new suitors.”
“But every suitor does not rate a tour of Adare and a rest in our neighbor’s stables.”
He knew about her two outings with Montgomery. “It was raining,” she managed. “We had to escape the rain.”
His eyes flickered. “Of course, he behaved properly.”
She almost told him that Montgomery had looked at her as if he wanted to kiss her. “He was a perfect gentleman.”
Alexis glanced away. “Then you are very fortunate.” His gaze lifted to hers. “I asked you not to play him, Elysse.”
She was filled with guilt then. Was she “playing” William? “I do not play gentlemen. I am merely enjoying his suit. We have become friends.”
“Yes, you do play gentlemen, all the time, and you are excellent at it. I have watched you toy with male affections since you were a child.” He ignored her gasp of protest. “Now you are friends?” His tone was incredulous. “As we are friends?”
She felt as if she were being backed into a corner. “William is a friend. Of course, I hardly know him as well as I know you.”
“You do not know William at all.” He stared, his face hard.
She knew this was dangerous territory, but she couldn’t help herself. Their gazes locked, she said, “And I suppose you think that you know Louisa Cochrane well? And I am certain it is Louisa, not Mrs. Cochrane!”
“Do not bring Mrs. Cochrane into this.”
“Why not? She is obviously a fortune hunter,” Elysse cried, her gaze unwavering on his. “She is desperate to marry above herself, and soon! Why can’t you see that? Why do you even bother with her?”
He glanced aside. “I have made it very clear that I am not marrying anyone anytime soon.”
She felt her cheeks flame. She did not need him to remind her that they were lovers. She turned aside. Why did his affair bother her so much? When had she become so jealous? But all she could think of was Alexi and Louisa in a passionate embrace. It hurt so much. “She is undoubtedly planning on trapping you into marriage, even if it is a year from now.”
He caught her arm. “I am not discussing Louisa with you.”
“I knew it!” His familiar way of speaking of his mistress added to her hurt.
He didn’t release her. “Montgomery is besotted with you. But there is more. He is calculating his chances for a legitimate courtship. He is the one who is the fortune hunter here.”
She was taken aback. “That is absurd!”
“Is it? Have you told him that you could never fall in love with him? He knows that your father wants a love match for you. And men like Montgomery marry up all of the time!” His blue eyes sparked with anger now. “You are lucky he did not seduce you in the stables—then you would have been forced to marry him.”
She gasped. “What is wrong with you? William would never seduce me! He is a gentleman, Alexi. He is kind and sincere and, in fact, he thinks very highly of me!”
“Why won’t you listen to a single word I have said?”
“Because you aren’t making any sense!” Why did she feel like crying? “Why are you doing this? You have done nothing but ignore me since you have come home, while chasing after that hussy, and you would deny me a serious suitor.”
“Aha! So now you admit that he is seriously pursuing you?” he demanded.
She crossed her arms tightly and he looked at her cleavage. She flushed and managed, “Have you finished nagging at me? My dance card is full tonight.”
He dragged his gaze upward. “I thought you wanted a dance with me.”
“That was before you decided to be a boor.” She turned to rush away.
He took her arm, restraining her, and turned her back to face him. “I am not finished, Elysse.” His gaze hardened. “I want you to end this tonight, before you find yourself in jeopardy—the kind you cannot smile and laugh and flirt your way out of.”
She tried to jerk her arm free and failed. “You cannot order me about, as if I am one of your crew—or your sister.”
“You are making a mistake. Sometimes, Elysse, I feel like taking you over my lap and giving you the kind of spanking reserved for small children. You are truly the most stubborn woman I have ever met. You are playing my pilot and it is selfish and dangerous.”
She shot back, “You are playing Louisa, are you not? I wonder why you are so set against William but not my other suitors like James Ogilvy? Could it be that you are jealous?”
His eyes widened. “I am not jealous of you. I think of you as family. Not as anything else. We have known one another for thirteen years!”
She stepped back, stricken. “We aren’t family. We aren’t related at all!”
“Oh, ho! Wait a moment—are you jealous? Do you want my attentions?” He was incredulous.
“No, I do not!” she cried with panic.
His stare was skeptical, piercing. “I know you as well—no, better—than I know my own sisters! I know how you think and what you want—I know who you are. Sometimes I think I know you too well! When I walk into a room and I see you, I think, why, there is Elysse, the pretty, spoiled little princess I have known for most of my life!”
She was trembling. Tears were arising, and she didn’t want him to see. “Are you saying that you think of me as a sister? That you don’t even notice that I am an attractive and entirely grown-up woman?”
His mouth hardened. “Obviously you are good-looking, but I don’t think about it.”
She stared, terribly hurt.
His gaze slammed down to her lavender ball gown. “I hate that dress,” he said tersely. He strode away.
She did not move, in shock. When Alexi saw her in a room, he saw a spoiled little princess. He didn’t see a beautiful woman, he saw the girl he’d known his entire life, someone similar to a sister.
“I like the gown,” Montgomery said softly. “I think you are lovelier than ever. Elysse, don’t cry.”
She turned and found his concerned gray gaze upon her. Vaguely, she realized he had been eavesdropping. She couldn’t care. It was her heart that was broken.
Somehow, she smiled at him.
He reached for and held her hand.
SHE DIDN’T KNOW WHY she had ever yearned to be in Alexi de Warenne’s arms. She didn’t even know why she had ever considered him a friend. He was hateful. He thought to control her life, treat her as a sister, and all while he ran after hussies like the widow Cochrane. Who cared? She had never suffered a rejection before. She did not know of another debutante in Ireland who had had five marriage proposals in two years. His rejection did not matter—not at all!
And if William decided to press a suit, she might even encourage him. He was kind and sincere, and he did not judge her or accuse her of being a harlot. He did not think her spoiled and selfish. When he called her a princess, he meant it as the highest compliment. When Alexi did so, he meant it as a slur—as an indictment of her character!
Elysse danced her eighth dance of the evening, a smile pasted on her face. The handsome squire, Sir Robert Haywood, was a widower of thirty-five, and considered an excellent catch. He had called on her a few times, but she hadn’t ever had any real interest in him until that night. As they danced, she kept smiling at him, refusing to look about the ballroom. She did not want to set eyes upon Alexi, not ever again.
Their friendship was now over. She no longer found him fascinating, much less attractive—oh no. The dashing boy she had once loved as a child had turned into an awful, mean-spirited man. She hoped he stayed away five years this time! And she hoped Louisa trapped him into marriage. It would serve him right.
Tears burned behind her eyelids. She could not understand why she felt so hurt. To be hurt, one had to care, and she most definitely did not care about Alexi de Warenne. She batted her lashes rapidly and beamed at her dance partner as they finished the country waltz.
“You have never been as lovely, Miss O’Neill,” Haywood said, bowing. “I had no idea you were such a superb dancer.”
She took a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, trying to banish Alexi de Warenne from her mind and her life, all the while hoping he had noticed how many admirers she had. Not that she meant to make him jealous, as she did not. She couldn’t care less if he was jealous or not, but other men found her beautiful—other men did not think her character defective!
The champagne was delicious. “Thank you, Sir Robert. And thank you for such a wonderful dance. I do hope you won’t neglect me as you have done these past few months, sir.” She sipped from the champagne, aware that she had drunk more than her usual two glasses. She didn’t care. Without the champagne, she might not be able to hold back her ludicrous, inexplicable tears.
“I hadn’t realized you wanted me to call again,” Haywood said, flushing. “But I will gladly do so.”
Elysse encouraged him to call another time. When he had left her side, she quickly finished the champagne before rushing off to the dance floor with Jonathon Sinclair, one of the men who had offered for her. He was very tense and flushed, and she instantly knew he still desired her. He said, whirling her about in a German waltz, “I didn’t think you’d give me a single dance, Miss O’Neill.”
“Of course I would give you a dance.” She smiled at him. “I have been looking forward to it all evening long!”
He started. “Why are you being so kind?”
“Do you think me unkind, sir?” She feigned hurt, slipping her hand across his shoulder.
“Of course not,” he said harshly, missing a step. “I think you are as kind as you are beautiful!”
