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She went downstairs. Realizing her mood was as bright as the next day promised to be, she sobered. She was beginning to feel like a guest, not a hostage, and maybe she had better remind herself that was not the case.
Then she heard Alasdair shouting.
She stiffened, as he so rarely raised his voice. But now his brother, Angus Og, was shouting back at him. What could they be arguing about? Shocked, she hurried forward, intending to end the dispute.
“Are ye a madman now?” Angus Og cried. “Or perhaps, ye think yerself immortal, like an old Celt god!” His blue eyes flashed and he stood as if braced for battle.
“I think ye speak too freely, or, mayhap, yer filled with envy!” Alasdair snapped. “Achanduin Castle is a fine stronghold!”
Juliana had been about to go inside and step between them, for she feared they might come to blows, but she paused, stunned. What did Achanduin Castle have to do with them?
“I am not jealous, Alasdair,” Angus Og warned. “I think to protect ye, ye fool, from yer own grand and blind ambition!”
“And ye have no ambition? We both ken ye’d be King of the Isles if I let ye take Islay!”
She had seen nothing but camaraderie and affection between the brothers. Her resolve became unshakable. Juliana stepped into the great room.
Both men whirled to face her. Each was flushed with anger and now, they were incredulous that she dared interrupt.
“Ye wish to speak with me now?” Alasdair demanded.
“Let her stay,” Angus Og smirked.
Juliana trembled. “I heard you speaking—shouting. How can two brothers fight so?”
“‘tis not yer affair, Juliana,” Alasdair warned.
Juliana glanced at Angus Og, blushing. Alasdair was so angry that he had failed to address her as Lady Juliana—he had sounded as if they were intimate, which, of course, they were.
“Perhaps Lady Juliana wishes to ken why we argue over Achanduin Castle,” Angus Og said, eyeing her.
Juliana stared back at him. She had hardly spoken to him in the past few days since he had arrived at Dunyveg. But she had observed him from afar, and in many ways, he reminded her of Alasdair. He was shrewd, arrogant, powerful and aware of it. He was also good-looking, and he knew that, too. She had caught him flirting with her maid and she was fairly certain he had seduced her.
He would inherit most of Kintyre from his father, making him a powerful Highland lord. He was a few years younger than Alasdair, whom she had learned was twenty-seven, and he had yet to marry.
“Of course I wish to know why you argue over Achanduin—which is on my land.”
Alasdair smiled tightly at her. “Ye never cease to amaze me with yer boldness.”
Angus Og laughed without mirth. “My brother flirts with ex-communication.”
Juliana went still. Had she misheard?
Alasdair cursed, the very first time he had ever done so in front of her.
“The Pope thinks to excommunicate Alasdair?” she cried.
“Bishop Wishart has written us, demanding Alasdair return Achanduin Castle to the church, as the next Bishop of Argyll has been elected. Wishart was very direct—he will next write the Pope, describing Bishop Alan’s murder on holy ground, the attack upon the cathedral, and the theft of Achanduin Castle.”
Juliana began to shake. “Men have been excommunicated for fewer crimes against God.”
“I did not murder the bishop on holy ground, he was hanged outside the cathedral,” Alasdair said tightly.
Juliana was incredulous. “No one will care about such a minor detail! You must return Achanduin Castle immediately!”
He stared coldly at her. Then he turned to his brother. “She did not need to know any of this!”
“Why not? Perhaps she has some affection for ye, enough to persuade ye to a sane course.” Angus Og nodded at her and strode from the room.
Alasdair turned his back upon her and paced to the hearth, where he stared darkly at the fire. Juliana walked hesitantly over to him. She laid her hand on his back.
He started.
“You do not want to go to hell.”
“I am not excommunicated yet.”
“Alasdair! You cannot play such a dangerous game—return Achanduin Castle!”
He eyed her. “And should I return it to save my soul, or to enrich yer lands?”
She felt hurt. “I am not thinking about myself. Fool that I am.” She turned away.
He seized her arm, whirling her back to face him. His blue gaze was searing. “So ye do hold me in some affection?”
She hesitated. “I don’t know.” She was frightened for him, and did that mean she truly cared? Did she wish to save him, and his soul?
He made a harsh sound, then released her.
“But I do know this: keeping Achanduin Castle is not worth an eternity in hell.” Juliana turned abruptly, shaken. And she saw Angus Mor, standing on the threshold of the hall, watching them like a hawk. He still suspected her of treachery.
She hurried past him as she left the room.
* * *
JULIANA HAPPENED TO be in Alasdair’s room, where she was replacing the wool blankets on his bed with fresh ones. He hadn’t asked her to do so, and as she folded up the fur at the foot of the bed, she was aware that it pleased her to take some small care for him.
She turned and walked to each window in turn, opening the shutters wide. It was now mid-March, and it was a cold but brilliantly sunny day. There was no snow left about the castle or on the beaches below it; she could just see some snowy ridges in the north.
She paused, inhaling the fresh air, as birds chirped from the treetops outside the stronghold. Why hadn’t a messenger come yet? Why wasn’t there some word from either Alexander or William?
And was she truly dismayed?
She glanced about the stone chamber, which had almost become her own. She never slept in the chamber with Mary and the boys. She was becoming accustomed to sharing Alasdair’s room.
“Juliana? Have you seen Roger?” Mary asked worriedly from the doorway.
“I thought all the boys were downstairs.”
Mary shook her head, one hand on her now swollen belly. “He has vanished.”
Juliana hurried to her. “He hasn’t disappeared, I assure you of that.”
“No.” Mary plucked her sleeve. “He has begun to ask me where William is. He has started to complain that he wants his father—and he wants to go home.”
Juliana was surprised. Roger, although the eldest, was far quieter and more steadfast than his mischievous brother, Donald. He was so clearly the thoughtful brother—which would serve him well when, one day, he became lord of Castle Bain. “Roger has been complaining?”
Mary nodded. “Just this morning I tried to tell him that we will go home soon, but he refused to listen—he ran out of the chamber. Now, I cannot find him.”
Juliana was mildly alarmed. “I will find him, Mary. Just rest. He cannot have gone far.” She left her sister and hurried downstairs. It took a half an hour for her to realize that if Roger was within the castle, he was deliberately hiding from them. No one had seen him since they had all broken the fast that morning.
Juliana was alarmed, but she had no intention of worrying her sister. Having taken up a warmer mantle, she was about to go outside to look for him when Alasdair came striding inside.
He was disheveled from the wind, his long hair tangled about his shoulders, the bright blue feather more visible than ever, patches of mud on his boots, the skirts of his leine, and even his bare thighs. He grinned at her. “We will have venison tonight.”
She smiled back. Her heart turned over as it always did when she first saw him, after not seeing him for a few hours. Perhaps it was time to admit that she had truly become fond of him. “Then everyone will be pleased. Alasdair—have you seen Roger?”
“Isn’t he with the other children?”
“I have just searched the entire castle—if he is here, he is hiding. But perhaps he is outside.”
He was bewildered. “Why would he hide?”
“He has started to behave oddly, with distress—he has been asking to go home to his father.”
An odd look that she could not decipher crossed his face. “I’ll help ye look fer him.”
They went outside into the bailey, Alasdair telling her to search the area by the front gates. As they headed off in opposite directions, Juliana became dismayed when she saw the front gates were open. But even a small boy would be remarked if he walked out of Dunyveg—surely.
Another hour passed, in which Juliana became extremely alarmed. No one had seen Roger, and she had searched every nook and cranny of the bailey. She asked a passing lad if he knew where Alasdair was, and she was told he was in the stables.
Trying to reassure herself, Juliana hurried across the bailey and into the stone stables. It was dark within, smelling pleasantly of hay and horses. As she entered, a dog ran up to her, its tail wagging, and several mares nickered.
Alasdair stepped out of the shadows and placed a finger upon his lips, then nodded to his right.
Juliana rushed forward. Alasdair took her arm and guided her to where an old mare was stalled, a young foal suckling at her side. Roger was curled up in the chips and hay, in a far corner of the stall, asleep.
She inhaled in relief. Alasdair put his arm around her and pulled her close. She looked up at him, feeling a rush of gratitude. “We have to wake him. I’m surprised that mare allowed him inside with her colt.”
“Let me do it,” he said.
Juliana assumed that he did not want her to go within, in case the mare decided to behave protectively towards her foal. She watched him step inside, pat the mare, then carefully sidestep her and kneel by Roger. He lifted him into his arms and carried him outside.
As he did, Roger awoke.
Alasdair smiled at him. “Did ye come to see the newborn colt?”
Roger became widely awake. His eyes huge, he shook his head.
Alasdair stepped outside the stall, closed it, and set Roger down. “Did ye think to find a horse, then, and ride away?”
Juliana started. Why would he ask such a question!
Roger was tearful and belligerent. “I don’t like being a hostage.”
“I ken.” He stroked his hair. “No one likes being held hostage, but it’s the way of men.”
Roger shook his head fiercely. “I hate it here!”
Alasdair knelt. “I ken. But ye have a duty to yer mother. Ye frightened her, Roger, hiding as ye did, and thinking to run away. Ye frightened yer aunt. Yer duty is to be strong and brave like yer father. Do ye not wish to be like William?”
“Yes,” he finally said, his gaze riveted upon Alasdair. “Will I ever go home?”
“Of course ye’ll go home. But until ye do, ye must take care of yer mother. Ye canna worry or frighten her again. I ken, ’tis hard being brave. Even when yer grown like I am. But a man dinna have a choice, Roger. Every man has a duty to his kin to be strong and brave.”
Juliana was moved. She had not known Alasdair could be so gentle and kind with children.
Roger continued to gaze keenly at him. “But you’ve never been afraid. You’re Alasdair Og!”
“Sit with me.” Alasdair sat down on a bale of hay, and Roger sat down beside him, enraptured. “A long time ago, when I was much younger than ye, I was sent away from my mother and my father. I was a hostage too.”
Juliana started. She had never heard a word of this before!
Roger’s eyes popped. “You were a hostage?”
“Aye, the King of Scotland held me hostage, for he was very angry with my father. I was sent to him with only a maid.”
Roger bit his lip. “You did not have your mother?”
Alasdair laid his hand on his shoulder. “No. But ye have yer mother, yer aunt, and yer brothers with ye. Ye must remember that.”
Roger nodded. “Were you scared?”
“Yes. It was very hard being strong and brave.” His regard serious, he added, “I dinna ken I would ever go home, but I did. And as soon as yer ransom is paid, ye will go home, but ye must vow ye’ll not run away again.”
“I promise.”
“Good.” Alasdair stood up. He suddenly started, as if he’d forgotten that Juliana stood there.
She could barely breathe. How was it that he had never mentioned this to her before?
He smiled slightly at her, allowing Roger to precede them out of the stables. As they crossed the bailey, Juliana’s mind raced. She finally took his arm and halted; he faced her, his expression wry.
“I did not know you were a hostage when you were a child!”
“My father went to war for the King of Norway and Haakon and he lost.” He shrugged. Then, “I ken what the boy is feeling.”
Her heart raced. “How old were you?”
