Nine Months' Notice

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“Yes, I know he does. And I will tell him,” Tori said. “Just not yet. I want to get a few other things sorted out on my end. But I promise that I’ll speak to him. Sometime. It’s better this way.”

“For who? You?” Lauren shook her head. “The longer you wait the worse it’s going to be. At some point he’s going to find out. He’s not stupid. He’s quite able to put two and two together. And can you imagine how he’s going to feel? He’ll want to be involved from the very beginning. You’d be keeping his child away from him.”

“It’s my child, too,” Tori said. “I want things sorted on my end first.”

“Yes, but you should allow him to be involved. He’s like his brother that way. Justin went to my checkups. He visited the hospitals with me. He went to my sono-gram appointments and held my hand when I gave blood. He did the grocery shopping when I was too tired. He even organized and helped fix up the nursery.”

“I can do that on my own,” Tori said stubbornly. “I’ve been taking care of myself for years and I’m sure I’ll be fine doing it pregnant. You and I both know that Jeff is much too busy. He’s out of town as we speak. He’s a nomad. I don’t want that life. I’m not settling for a man who’s never around. He and I talked long ago about our relationship—he wants sex, I want marriage. He’s admitted he’s not ready to settle down and pretty much indicated that if he were, it wouldn’t be with me. He doesn’t see me that way. I’m keeping my baby, but I’m not having it to trap him. The last thing I want is to win Jeff Wright because of his misguided sense of guilt.”

A silence fell for a few moments. “I’m sorry if that sounded harsh,” Tori said. “I have a lot on my plate. I agree he should be involved, but we’re over. I need to be the one to set the parameters of how involved he’s going to be. I’m not going back to the way it was.”

“And I can respect that,” Lauren said. “I believe a child should know both parents even if living together isn’t in the best interests of the parents.”

“In this case, it wouldn’t be good for either of us,” Tori said. “I was moving on with my life when this happened. I’m simply praying that Jeff will understand that we shouldn’t be together.”

“You don’t think he’ll make a good father, do you?” Lauren asked, as if she’d gained sudden insight into the workings of Tori’s mind.

“No, I have to admit I don’t,” Tori acknowledged. “I want what my mother has. I want what you and Justin have. Jeff, well, he’s got two priorities—work and his computer. You thought you were in love with Jeff once. You know exactly how single-minded he can be. It’s like he has tunnel vision.”

“I do know, and what I felt for him was a misguided crush,” Lauren said, clarifying the situation. “Justin quickly straightened me out. Okay, not so quickly. But Jeff and I aren’t compatible. You and he are. All of us can see that. You’re perfect for him.”

“Only because I put up with his nonsense longer than anyone else,” Tori said.

“Perhaps,” Lauren agreed. “But he talks about you all the time. I know he cares about you, and cares deeply.”

“He does care,” Tori said. “That’s never been an issue. But he cares for me the way he used to care for you—in that just-friends sense, only with me sex was added. While we may be great in bed, that’s not enough to make a marriage.”

“But what if he loved you?”

“He doesn’t. And I want the kind of love and affection that you and Justin share. The kind everyone can see. That’s not us. We didn’t do anything but sit around and watch movies. We were a couple, sort of. I’m tired of sort of. That’s why I called off the relationship and accepted this promotion. I want a husband who adores me and I can’t have that with Jeff. I need to take off the blinders so I can search for the right someone—someone who will be there forever. I’m not settling or marrying anyone until I’ve found that.”

“If you could see Jeff with Hailey, you wouldn’t even recognize him. He’s so good with her. She practically jumps out of my arms when she sees him,” Lauren defended.

“She probably thinks he’s Justin,” Tori said skeptically. She bit her lip. “Sorry. That was mean.”

Lauren shook her head. “It was, but I’ll forgive you because it’s a valid point and I worried about that myself. They are uncannily alike, but Hailey knows the difference. When they’re in the same room she goes to Justin and says Dada. She knows who Jeff is and who he’s not. You can tell that she loves her uncle very much, but she adores her father.”

Tori settled back against the chair. While deep down she wanted nothing more than the unconditional belief that Jeff would make an excellent father, he was terrible at expressing his feelings. “Yes, but Jeff’s great one-on-one like that. He keeps everyone in a certain compartment. He’s not with a child constantly. It’s like when he’s with me. We’re great in short bursts, but long-term, all day, every day? We’d be hating each other by the end of two weeks and that’s if we were lucky.”

“I think you’d be surprised. I thought life would be that way with Justin, but it wasn’t,” Lauren said. The two women had finished eating and Tori waved away the waiter’s offer of dessert.

“I’d like to be surprised, but I don’t believe I will be,” Tori said. “There’s too much history between us. The last thing I want is for us to marry and end up hating each other. Good things come to those who wait. I’m not afraid of being alone until the right man comes along.”

“You won’t be alone. You’ll be a mother,” Lauren pointed out.

“True,” Tori said. And her family had promised to help and support her. Even though she wouldn’t be in a relationship, everything was going to be fine. “I will tell him soon,” Tori promised. “Just say you won’t speak to him before I do.”

“Fine,” Lauren said. “I won’t. But if you don’t tell him in a few weeks, expect a phone call from me. This is not a secret I like keeping, but because we’re friends and have been since long before I married Justin, I’ll give you some time to sort things out. I can understand you wanting to make sure you’ve got your own thoughts straightened out, but don’t wait too long. You need to let him know before he finds out from someone else. You’ll be showing soon. Office workers talk. Don’t make him find out through the grapevine.”

“I won’t,” Tori assured her. “Just a few more weeks and I’ll figure out a way to tell him.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Lauren said. The matter settled, Tori and Lauren talked about other things until the check arrived, hugged each other goodbye and promised to keep in touch.

It wasn’t until Tori was in her car that she realized the full extent of her mistake. She’d been so intent on making sure Lauren didn’t tell Jeff, Tori had forgotten all about his twin. Lauren hadn’t promised not to tell Justin. Tori had to hope and trust that Lauren’s promise extended to her husband as well.

HER PHONE RANG as she merged into traffic on the way home. “Hi, Lisa.”

“Hey!” Lisa said. “I’m not catching you at a bad time, am I? I wanted you to know that Mark and I set a date. What are you doing the second weekend of August?”

“Coming to St. Louis?” Tori guessed. “Walking down the aisle?”

Lisa laughed. “Yes on both counts. I need you for the first two weekends in August, if you can get away from the office. There’s a shower for me the weekend before the wedding and we’re getting married the next. The reception is at Mark’s parents’ house. You don’t have a Neiman-Marcus department store in Kansas City, do you?”

“I’ll check the Web site, but right now I’d say no.”

“Rats. You’ll love the dresses and don’t worry, they’re really reasonable. Anyway, Cecile’s getting measured at the store on Michigan Avenue, so why don’t you come here? How’s this weekend?”

“I’m actually going to be in St. Louis next Monday for a meeting with Jared. How about we meet after that?” Tori suggested. “I’m coming in on Sunday anyway.”

“Only if you come in earlier so we can do dinner, too,” Lisa said. “Joann’s going to be in town this weekend, as well, so we can all get together like old times.”

“Twist my arm.” Tori laughed. “You know how much I like to eat. So put this Sunday on your calendar and send me an e-mail confirmation. I should remember, but I’m driving and don’t have a hand free to pencil it in.”

“That’s why you sound like you’re in a tunnel,” Lisa said with a chuckle. “I’ll do it right now. So will you be bringing anyone new to the wedding?”

“No,” Tori said. “Haven’t met anyone.”

“Well, Mark has some single friends who are flying in. One of them can serve as your date. Just as friends. No matchmaking.”

“Only if you promise.”

“Still doing the Internet dating thing?” Lisa asked.

Tori put her blinker on and switched lanes. “About to give it up. I never found anyone interesting. E-mail me all the information about the dress and the wedding events and I’ll put it on my calendar. I’ll see you this weekend.”

“I’ll do that today,” Lisa promised.

“You’re happy, aren’t you?” Tori asked.

“Very,” Lisa said, not missing a beat. Tori could hear the contentment in her friend’s voice.

“Good,” Tori said, satisfied that Lisa had made the right choice. She wanted nothing more than for Lisa to be happy for the rest of her life.

Tori disconnected and hit the on-ramp for the highway. This weekend she’d tell both Joann and Lisa about the baby. She hadn’t wanted to tell Lisa over the phone. She knew her friends well enough to know that face-to-face chats were always best for news such as this.

Chapter Four

“You’re kidding me. I did hear you right, didn’t I? You’re pregnant.”

Tori averted her gaze and toyed with her iced tea, using the long spoon to create a tiny whirlpool in the tall glass. She was sitting in the Meyers’ four-season room, surrounded only by Joann and Lisa. Instead of dining out, Joann’s husband, Kyle, and brother, Mark, who was also Lisa’s fiancé, had barbecued. The men had since gone inside to watch the Cardinals baseball game, leaving the women to socialize.

Joann gazed at Tori. “You cannot go silent now. My ears are not shot from having kids. I believe you said you’re pregnant.”

“I did,” Tori said slowly. “You heard me correctly. Nothing’s wrong with your ears.”

“No, but something is wrong with your mouth. You didn’t say anything to us until today,” Lisa jumped in. “How long have you known? You should have called when you first suspected.”

“How far along are you?” Joann asked. She’d lifted her water goblet to her lips.

“My due date’s December thirtieth,” Tori said.

“Oh my God,” Lisa said, her jaw dropping as she worked the math. She frowned. “That means you got pregnant—”

“Back in April sometime,” Joann finished. She tapped her glass with a manicured nail. “That’s an awful long time ago. I’m sure you had quite a few opportunities to spill the beans and share what was going on.”

“I know,” Tori said. She crossed and uncrossed her legs. She wore shorts and a casual sweater.

“So, spill,” Lisa commanded. “We’re a little disappointed that we’re finding out weeks later so you better tell us why and how—all the details. We’re your best friends. We could have been there for you.”

“Right,” Joann said. She brushed some lint off her camp shirt. “That’s the real reason we’re all so frustrated. We haven’t been able to be a part of this with you. We’ve already drifted so much, and it’s news like this that keeps us together.”

“I didn’t even know until I was about eight weeks along,” Tori said, which was the truth. Her friends nodded, encouraging her to continue. “I had some spotting after the first four weeks and then no period after the next month. That’s when I finally went and bought a test. Stress has thrown off my cycles before and I had just moved to Kansas City and, well, after the test I wanted to wait until I saw the doctor before I announced anything. I didn’t want to be like Alicia.” Tori mentioned one of their sorority sisters.

“I remember that. She thought she was pregnant, went out and told everyone and then the doctor said she wasn’t,” Lisa said. “She cried for days.”

“She did get pregnant the next month, though,” Joann noted. “She and her husband had been trying for a while for a child.”

“Well, I didn’t want that to happen to me. I knew for sure the day you called me to tell me the wedding date,” she said, nodding at Lisa. “But I decided to tell you in person instead.”

“Okay, we understand. We’re still going to dish out maybe a smidgen more guilt for you having kept us in the dark, but you know we’re only doing that because we love you.”

“Yeah,” Tori said, her insides warming. Her friends were always there for her.

“Besides, this gives us something to do after the wedding. We’ll have to do baby showers and shopping and such,” Lisa added.

“I haven’t even thought that far ahead,” Tori said. “I’m still crying from having to give up my cute convertible at some point in the near future. I asked fate for change, but this isn’t what I was expecting when I broke up with Jeff and moved to Kansas City. Nothing has gone the way I planned.”