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Jeff shifted his weight from one foot to the other as if the situation wasn’t going quite the way he’d envisioned. “Everything okay with the job? Still like it?”
Tori nodded, her hair dancing around her chin. “It’s been great. We’ve landed five new accounts and exceeded all of last quarter’s income projections.”
Jeff stuffed his hands into his pockets for a moment. Tori had never really liked wearing heels, and in her flats he was seven inches taller than she was. “I guess I should have asked if everything is okay with you?” he clarified.
“Why wouldn’t it be?” Tori asked, forcing herself to relax. She’d tell him about the baby after visiting the doctor, when she would know things such as her due date. Now was not the time.
“No reason.” Jeff raked a hand through his strawberry-colored hair, a habit whenever he was nervous. “I guess I just miss talking to you. Maybe things aren’t okay with me.”
He missed her. She could see it reflected in his eyes. Maybe they had a chance. Maybe…
“I’ve really missed you,” he repeated. “I want you back in my life. It’s been weeks.”
While her body hummed with the longing it always felt around Jeff Wright, his subsequent statement had made her want to fall through the floor with disappointment. He didn’t love her. He was just sexually frustrated. They’d never had problems in that department.
She was determined that this time she wouldn’t succumb to his charms or his “needs.” She was going to be a mother. Time to grow up and stop living in fantasyland. He wasn’t going to change.
“I can’t see you anymore,” Tori managed, proud of herself for keeping her chin up and somehow looking him in the eye. They’d fit each other once, but no longer. He was a man married to his computer and his cat. She wanted more than an addiction she slaked every week. She wanted it all, like the love her mother had found with her second husband, Tori’s stepfather. “I’m sorry, but no. It’s high time for both of us to move on. Although I would like for us to be friends.”
Jeff stood there, his pale-green broadcloth shirt making him look sexier than any model. The imaginary devil on her shoulder screamed in her ear that she was being an idiot. But deep down she knew this was the right thing to do. She wasn’t aware she was holding her breath until she exhaled at the exact moment he slowly said, “I see.”
An awkward silence descended. Tori’s body still hummed; the man was as irresistible as chocolate cake—but she was winning the battle against indulging. “I know this sounds harsh, but we always said we’d let each other know when we were ready to move on. I’m happy here. New town, new life.”
“New man,” Jeff said, his tone edgy.
“Eventually,” Tori confirmed, knowing that finding a man was now the lowest item on her priority list. Her baby came first. “We’re at opposite ends of the state. We’ve always been friends—we can put things back the way they once were. That would be best.”
“Yeah, I guess we can be friends,” he said, his watch beeping as the alarm went off. He silenced it.
“Work?” Tori said.
“Always. I need to get back to the airport,” Jeff said. “I’m flying to St. Louis and then tomorrow I’m headed to Buffalo for a week-long project. After that I’m home for a little while before I’m back out in L.A.”
“You do travel a lot,” Tori observed. She knew that he’d racked up over half a million frequent-flier miles the year before.
Jeff grinned, but this time his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, well, you know how I like to be constantly on the go. I like the adventure. No grass grows under my feet.”
She did, which was why she held her tongue and simply gave him the patient smile of one ready to get back to work. He recognized the message and stepped toward the door. “I guess I’d better get going. Airport security’s tight right now and I don’t want to miss my flight.”
“Probably a good idea,” Tori said, doing her best to hold herself together for a few more minutes. She could let him go, let him walk out without breaking down. Seeing him was hard, but she had to remember that he hadn’t changed. This visit confirmed the futility of her current situation. She was having his baby, and part of her would always love him, but he’d never love her. And to top it off, he was always working and jetting off somewhere. The job would always be number one, not her or the baby.
Jeff paused. “Should I tell Lauren you said hi?”
Tori nodded. “Please.”
Lauren was Justin’s wife and she was currently on maternity leave. Over three years ago, she and Tori had been on the company Christmas-party committee together and they had been friends since. That night had been a catalyst for both women’s relationships with the Wright twins.
Tori suddenly realized she’d have to take a six-week maternity leave at the very least. She made a mental note to check her company benefits brochure. A bit overwhelmed by all the changes she was facing, Tori moved to sink into the sofa located in her office.
“You appear a little pale,” Jeff said. “Can I get you something to drink before I go?”
“I’m fine,” Tori said, waving him off. “Go catch your flight. I’ll get something later.”
He didn’t seem to believe her. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” What she needed was for him to leave.
“Let me get you some water anyway,” Jeff said. He strode to the small bar fridge in the corner. “Have you been eating?”
“Yes. Plenty,” Tori said, watching him. He’d always been kind to her, remembering things such as her favorite foods. She focused. That didn’t mean he loved her.
“So, do you still talk to your friends in St. Louis?” Jeff asked as he gave Tori a bottle of water.
“Yes. Lisa’s getting married. She called to tell me last week. I’m still in shock.”
“Lisa’s one of your sorority sisters,” Jeff said. He dallied for a moment.
“Right. Rho Sigma Gamma.”
As she spoke the words, Tori felt a slight twang of depression. She, Lisa Meyer, Joann Smith and Cecile Deletsky had pledged together and become fast friends. Joann was a stay-at-home mom of three. Lisa was a political fund-raiser working on getting her candidate into the Missouri governor’s mansion. Cecile had relocated to Chicago and was a producer for a popular talk show. They’d been extremely supportive of Tori’s decision to leave Jeff. She wondered what they’d think when she told them her news.
At least that would be easier than telling her own mother. Her mother was going to be, in a word, disappointed.
Her friends would understand. They’d all vowed on graduation day to have it all—love, marriage and children. So what if Tori wasn’t doing things in order? Of course, while Joann had been pregnant when she got married, she’d at least had a man who loved her.
Tori, well, she had Jeff. He was now standing beside her, a reminder that for her, dreams didn’t come true. He didn’t love her. He wanted her for sex. She was going to have his baby. The situation was all messed up.
“You’ll be late,” she told him, impatient to get him out of the office. “And I have phone calls to make.”
“Oh. Okay.” He again moved toward the door as if finally believing she meant to send him away. Or maybe it was because he had a plane to catch. How many times had she caved over the years? He popped a piece of gum into his mouth. “I can’t miss my flight. I’ll see you later. Call me if you change your mind about us.”
And with that he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him. Tori trembled and placed her head in her hands. She’d made it. She’d seen him and survived.
Chapter Two
“What are you still doing here? Don’t you have a date?”
Jeff glanced up from where he’d been staring at the flat-screen computer monitor, a confused expression on his face as he looked at his twin brother. “Date?” he echoed. He hadn’t had a date since Tori dumped him. Not that he couldn’t have had someone else in a snap, he consoled himself. There was that girl on the flight to St. Louis. But he’d walked off the plane without her phone number. Work was a priority and, frankly, Tori’s defection and her subsequent rejection had rattled Jeff a little more than he realized. Even now it bothered him.
As for dates, his calendar was clear until tomorrow when he had to fly across the state to St. Joseph for a business meeting. He didn’t have anything on the agenda except to go home and play the latest video game of which he had an advance copy.
Justin rolled his eyes and exhaled a sharp breath. “You are useless, you know that? You have a date with Hailey. Remember your niece?”
“Oh—” Jeff bit off the expletive and jumped to his feet. He pressed a button, closing all programs and sending the computer to sleep. “Sorry. I got so busy fine-tuning tomorrow’s presentation that I forgot all about babysitting.”
“Yes, my wife kind of figured that, so here I am.”
Justin crossed his arms and Jeff cringed at his oversight. “Time just slipped away from me.”
Justin nodded. “It always does, which is why Lauren was wise enough to call and ask if you were buried up to your eyeballs in work. She also said if you get over there pronto maybe she’ll forgive you.”
Jeff grinned. Lauren knew him far too well. They’d been next-door neighbors in the same condominium complex until she’d married Justin. Now, Jeff was an uncle and he relished the role. But as always, he’d got caught up in a project and had forgotten the real world. While his dedication was fantastic for the company, it played hell on earth with his personal life. He was always late—or at least 96.5 percent of the time. Drove most people nuts. Tori had been the exception.
Jeff sobered at that thought. He really needed to stop thinking about her. They’d promised each other that neither would dwell on the past. If she was moving on then he had to respect that. Even if she was one of the few people on the planet who truly understood him.
Jeff was a numbers person—a math savant if you wanted to go that far. He’d taken calculus in the eighth grade, college courses during high school. He loved to search for numerical patterns. Computers fascinated him. Give him a technological task and he was like a dog with a bone. The rest of the world seemed to disappear.
But he always eventually returned to reality. Like now. He stood and headed toward the door. Playing uncle, even with dirty diaper changes, was quite a good time, much more interesting than a lot of visits with other relatives he endured once a year. He’d discovered that Hailey already had him wrapped around her little finger. Ten months old. Who knew a woman’s power started so early?
“Call Lauren and tell her I’m on my way,” Jeff told Justin. He grabbed his briefcase. “You guys don’t live far, so she’ll still have plenty of time to run her errands.”
“Thanks,” Justin said. “Lauren really wants to get out of the house. She’s got some things to do and Mom can’t babysit today. Lauren doesn’t want to take Hailey out in this heat.”
Jeff nodded, understanding. Even though summer had barely started, St. Louis was already suffering a miserable streak of 100-degree days with little chance of rain. Even the grass had turned brown and everyone’s air conditioners were fighting to keep up. Without a good rain, the rest of the summer was going to be lousy.
Jeff arrived at his sister-in-law’s about ten minutes later. “Hey, Lauren. Sorry I’m late.” He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as he stepped into the foyer of the one-story house. Jeff immediately reached for his niece. “How’s my little boo?”
Lauren rolled her eyes at Jeff’s pet name, but Hailey didn’t seem to mind. From the security of her mother’s arms she lunged forward and reached both hands out for her uncle. Jeff caught her. As soon as he had Hailey securely, Lauren stepped back and let go.
Jeff walked into the living room carrying Hailey. His niece smelled of baby powder and that fresh, sweet scent synonymous with little girls. Lauren had probably given her a bath.
Jeff glanced at Lauren. Her blond hair was pulled up in a ponytail and woven through the back of her white St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap. In shorts and a T-shirt, she looked every bit the suburban mom.
“So get shopping,” he told her. “I’ve got this down. Is the formula still in the same place?”
Jeff bounced Hailey slightly and his niece laughed. The television was on in the corner of the room, tuned to a children’s show on PBS. Jeff put his hand under Hailey’s back and said “Airplane!” Then he swooped her slightly, as if using her body to draw the bottom of a bowl. Hailey shrieked, and Jeff grinned as Lauren tried not to wince. “Giving Mom a heart attack, aren’t we?” Jeff teased. “Paying her back for probably doing it to her parents.”
“Yeah, well,” Lauren said. She watched for a moment before giving a resigned shake of her head. “The formula’s in the cabinet and I just washed the bottles. Call me if you have any problems.”
Lauren reached for her purse and Jeff followed her into the kitchen. Because she’d walk through the utility room into the garage, he’d parked on the street so she’d be able to back out easier.
“Go. I’m fine here,” Jeff commanded.
Lauren was always hesitant about leaving Hailey, especially now that her daughter had just started walking. Hailey was one of those babies doing everything early, just as her daddy and her uncle had.
“You know I’ve got her,” Jeff insisted.
“I know you do,” Lauren said. She looped her purse strap over her arm. Content with Jeff, Hailey didn’t cry even as her mom headed out the door. Lauren paused a moment. “You know, you’d make a good dad. You should think about having one of your own. Give Hailey here a cousin or two to play with as she gets older.”
Jeff’s cheeks heated and he knew his face probably matched his hair. “Well, I…Jared’s taken care of that,” he said. His older brother did have two children already.
“Good save,” Lauren said. “By the way, what’s going on with you and Tori? You dated her longer than anyone else.”
“Yeah, well, things change,” Jeff said. “This here is the only girl who has my attention right now. I guess Kansas City is too far away to make anything work.” Hailey laughed as Jeff gave her a raspberry on her belly.
Lauren frowned, the small crease between her brows indicating she wasn’t done with the topic. “So what if she’s in KC? Last I checked that wasn’t very far away, a four-hour drive tops in that speedy new Corvette you just bought. And I know you have plenty of frequent-flier miles you could use. I mean, if you want something to work, distance shouldn’t be a factor. Perhaps you should go after her. Women like that. Justin chased me and see how happy we are?”
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Jeff prodded, not really wanting to discuss Tori. He wrinkled his nose and his expression soured. “You know, Lauren, you’re welcome to stay and linger if you’d like to change your lovely daughter before you leave.”
Lauren shook her head and laughed. “No, no, I’m going. That diaper can be your penance for being late.” She opened the door to the garage. “Remember, call me on my cell if there’s a problem.”
“Will do,” Jeff promised. He held Hailey easily as he took her back to her bedroom and placed her on the changing table. She gazed up at him, her green eyes wide. While she’d inherited her dad’s eyes, the pale downy hair coming in was definitely from her mother.
“You are a pretty thing,” Jeff told her. “You’d have to be for me to change you. I’m pretty discriminate about whose diapers I take off. You know, I never changed any of your cousins. Don’t tell them, okay? They might get jealous.”
Hailey simply blinked at him. She was still a little too young to say actual words—those would come in another month or two, followed by incessant conversation at eighteen months.
Jeff folded up the diaper and tossed it into the trash. “I won’t bore you with the statistics on how that diaper will take more than five-hundred years to degrade,” he said. Hailey continued to wait as Jeff wiped her bottom, added some baby powder, then securely fastened her new diaper. Within seconds, she was back in his arms, her cute pink dress draped over his arm.
“So what do you think? Did I do an okay change?” As he walked back into the living room, Jeff thought about what Lauren had said. He liked the idea that he’d make a good father. He loved Hailey and even though Jeff and Justin were twins, Hailey could tell them apart. Stand Jeff and Justin next to each other and she wanted her dad every time.
Perhaps babies simply made you feel paternal. For a minute Jeff reflected on the fission of happiness that had shot through his system when Hailey had reached for him. Was the moment exponentially better and more powerful when it was your own child? Jeff had no idea, but holding Hailey felt right. Maybe he was getting to the place in his life where he was ready to settle down.
“Who knew guys had biological clocks?” Jeff mused aloud as he placed Hailey in her exerciser. While he might have doubted it a few years ago, he knew now that he wanted to be a father. Of course it took two people for that. Had he committed a cardinal sin somewhere along the line with Tori? They’d been so comfortable together and then all of a sudden, boom, she’d moved to Kansas City and broken up with him. He sighed. On the TV screen a blue puppet was singing about the letter H.
Hailey was happily playing and safe, so Jeff mulled over the conundrum. He’d known Tori for what amounted to forever. She’d outlasted any other woman in his life aside from his mother. He and Tori had been friends for years before they’d first gotten together after the company Christmas party. Their passion had been hot and fast, but the next day she’d told him it had been a mistake and had gone back to her ex-boyfriend for a few weeks. He’d chased her then, won her and then they’d developed a routine. He cared about her more than anyone else.
But was she the one? Jeff sat there a moment, distracting himself by watching Hailey spin around in her exerciser. How did somebody know he’d found his soul mate? Justin had screwed things up terribly with Lauren and almost lost her. Jared hadn’t had things easy, either. Sure his brothers were happy now, but neither had had a lightbulb “aha” moment at the start of their relationships. And love wasn’t like installing a software program. There were no signs that you were one-hundred percent complete.
As for compatibility, he and Tori thought the same. They were both math people who had taken extra math classes in school just for fun and to boost their GPAs. They were long beyond such trivialities as wooing and making an impression. She knew how much he cared about her and he the same. Actions spoke louder than words, which could often be meaningless, any day. Tori’s last boyfriend had told her he loved her and then cheated on her right and left. Jeff hadn’t wanted to make that same mistake, so he’d erred on the side of caution.
In his job, he was the one who traced problems back to their source. He found solutions, made sure the situation never crept up again and, if it did try to rear its ugly head, he made certain that it could be quickly eradicated. So had he missed something? Had he been too conservative? Had he taken Tori for granted? A squeal interrupted his reverie. Hailey had stopped spinning and was looking at him with a dazed but satisfied expression. She held out her arms.
Jeff rose and went to get her. “Up you go.” She snuggled next to him, ready for a bottle and a nap. He ran a hand over her downy hair, marveling at its blond softness as he carried her into the kitchen. He knew Tori well enough to know that she was through with him. Jeff had blown it with Tori big time. But his brothers had each found their perfect mates. Proof was right in his arms—a life created out of love. Maybe, if he was lucky, there was still hope for him.
Chapter Three
The day before her first doctor’s appointment, Tori was unable to shake the mixture of melancholy and excitement she was experiencing. On one hand, she was thrilled to be becoming a mom. On the other, she already felt overwhelmed—think of all the preparations she had to make. The phone rang and Tori picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, stranger,” Tori said, having recognized Cecile’s phone number on the caller ID display.
“Hey, yourself,” Cecile said. “I haven’t talked to you in ages. What’s up?”
“Everything,” Tori admitted. “I—”
“Ah, Jeff,” Cecile interrupted. “What’s going on with him? You haven’t gone back to him, have you?”
“No,” Tori said. She chewed on her bottom lip. “He did stop by the office once.”
“And?” Cecile prodded. A few seconds of silence later Cecile said, “Oh.”
“No, not that,” Tori replied. “I held my ground. I told him it was over.”
“That’s good,” Cecile said.
“Maybe,” Tori agreed after a moment. She opened her mouth to tell Cecile about her doctor’s appointment when Cecile said, “I met someone at my sister’s wedding reception.”
“Really?”
