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It was no secret around here that, back in the day, both of the retired cowboys had been ladies’ men. Before the accident, Nate had been one, too. But not anymore. Even if he’d adapted to the life changes he’d been forced to make—the dashed dreams and altered career path—there was a five-pound two-ounce change that had turned him from a carefree bachelor to a man dead set on becoming a good father—or at least one that was adequate.
He just hoped that Ms. Reynolds—or rather Anna—realized how hard he was trying.
While he was determined to keep the attractive social worker in a professional light, it was a struggle. Every time he looked at her, he focused on her appearance. And now, as they stepped off the porch, he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off the gentle sway of her hips or the way that long blond hair swished and shimmered down her back.
He didn’t need to glance at Gil or Raul to know what they were thinking. He sensed their interest and imagined they were sporting grins and winking at each other. He was also prepared for the ribbing he’d get, as well as the advice they’d offer him as soon as Anna left the ranch.
If she were any other beautiful woman, he wouldn’t need any prodding or pushing. He’d never been shy. But Anna was different.
As she moved away from the shady porch and into the light of day, the platinum strands in her hair shimmered. Some women might pay good money to have highlights like that, but he’d bet a month’s pay that Anna was a natural blonde.
He followed her to the lawn and waited while she placed her purse and briefcase on top of the old tree stump.
“Where to?” he asked.
“Nowhere in particular. I thought we should talk in private.”
Nate doubted that she’d want a tour of the ranch, so he wasn’t sure which direction to go, but definitely away from Gil and Raul. As he started toward the outbuildings, Anna fell into step beside him.
“Jessica looks good,” she said.
Nate thought so, too, although he had no idea what signs might indicate she wasn’t healthy or thriving. Rather than admit his lack of experience or reveal his incompetence, he said, “I’ll sure be happy when she gains a few pounds.”
“That shouldn’t take very long. You’ll be surprised at how quickly she’ll grow.”
It seemed as though it might take forever, but Anna was probably right. The same thing happened with a colt or a calf. The more they nursed, the bigger they got. It was just going to take a little while. Hopefully, he could spend that time here on the Rocking C, where he had plenty of help.
“She’ll be toddling around before you know it,” Anna added. “And then you’ll have other things to worry about.”
“Like what?” The minute he uttered the worry-laced question, he wanted to temper it somehow. He hadn’t meant to reveal any insecurities he might have—and not just about infants, but fatherhood.
“For one thing,” she said, “making sure the electrical sockets are protected from little fingers. And watching her closely so she doesn’t climb up on something and fall. You’ll also have to keep medications and cleaning supplies out of her reach.”
Crap. There was so much he didn’t know. “Maybe I’d better get some books on the subject.”
“That will help, but during each stage of development, the pediatricians are pretty good at pointing out the things you should be concerned about in terms of health and safety.”
“Thank God for that.” The moment those words rolled off his tongue, he wished he could reel them back in before she realized how afraid he was that he’d slip up, that Jessie might be better off in someone else’s care.
Anna’s steps slowed, and as she turned to face him, she used her hand to block the sun from her eyes, which were almost a golden-brown hue today. “When’s her first doctor’s appointment?”
“Monday at four o’clock. They told me it’s just to check her weight.”
“Would you like me to meet you there?” she asked.
Hell, he’d love to have someone go with him—anyone. But did he really want that to be a social worker?
What if the baby hadn’t gained any weight? What if Anna thought Jessie would be better off living with someone else?
Kenny might be locked up, but he had some sketchy family members, and maybe one of them would try to gain custody. From what Nate had heard, several of them had done time for various crimes such as assault, drunk and disorderly conduct or driving while under the influence.
“That’s nice of you to offer,” he said, “but it’s not necessary.”
When Anna didn’t respond, he stole a peek at her, saw her forehead creased ever so slightly.
Hoping she didn’t think he was skirting her, he added, “It’s not that I don’t want you to come. You can certainly meet me there if you want to.”
“We’ll see how my day goes,” she said. “I’m usually off by four o’clock—unless something comes up.”
They continued to walk along the lawn-flanked path to the corral where he’d been working with that new gelding a few minutes ago.
“So how are you doing?” Anna asked.
Him? He was nervous as hell and afraid he’d drop little Jessie or do something wrong. He also hadn’t been able to sleep worth a damn because he kept waking up to check on her and make sure she was still breathing. But he didn’t want to reveal any sign of weakness, so he chuckled and made light of it. “Me? I’m fine as frog’s hair.”
She laughed at his response. The lilt of her voice was enough to make him relax for the first time since she’d arrived. “Now, that’s cute.”
He hadn’t meant to be cute. Was she a big-city girl laughing at his country ways? “It’s just a saying I picked up from one of the retired cowboys who lives here.”
She shifted slightly as if trying to avoid the sunlight from shining in her eyes. “Today, while I had lunch in the hospital cafeteria with a coworker, your name came up.”
So much for relaxing around her. Why had his name come up? Had they been discussing him—and his case?
“One of the aides said you used to be a patient, that you had a run-in with a wild horse. And one of the cowboys mentioned you were involved in the rodeo.”
He’d been more than involved. He’d actually made a name for himself—until his injury. And until the doctor’s diagnosis brought about a real reckoning on many levels. “I’ve still got friends who’re on the circuit, but I gave it up.”
“Why?”
Did it really matter? He shrugged a single shoulder. “I had more than a little ‘run-in’ with a bronc last year, and the doctors said I couldn’t ride anymore. So I landed this job.”
Her brow scrunched. “That sounds like a big change of pace.”
It had been a huge change. And a real blow to his ego. Giving up the rodeo had been tough because, if he wasn’t a star or a champion, who was he? But if there was one thing he’d learned to do in life it was to roll with whatever punches fate dealt him.
“I’ve adjusted,” he said. “Besides, working as the assistant foreman on the Rocking C pays the bills.”
“So you rode broncs when you were on the circuit?” Anna asked.
Nate had never been one to toot his own horn, so he didn’t mention the buckles he’d won. Instead, he just nodded and said, “Yep.”
“No wonder you seemed so competent working with that gelding.”
Horses, broken or not, he could handle. It was only little babies that made him uneasy.
And pretty social workers.
He shot a glance her way. Damn, she was attractive. And in spite of his better judgment, he was drawn to her. Her floral scent—gardenia maybe?—snaked around him and seemed to hold him captive. Just walking next to her was a pleasure.
But Anna Reynolds wasn’t like the buckle bunnies who’d once hovered around him, hoping for a date, a kiss or...a whole lot more. She wasn’t here to flirt or...whatever. She had a job to do—and possibly an assessment to make.
“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked, hoping she’d cut to the chase and he could get his mind back on his work. “Is there a problem?”
“No, not that I see so far.”
“Then why are you here?”
“It’s my job to check up on you and the baby. Would it be easier for you if I came back in the evening next time?”
“Actually, this isn’t a bad time. I’m sorry if it sounded like I was...” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “I was just a little surprised to see you this afternoon. That’s all.”
She blessed him with a pretty smile, one that he’d be thrilled to see if they’d met in a bar or honky-tonk, like the Stagecoach Inn. But could he trust that she didn’t have any ulterior motives, other than to answer his questions and help him adjust to fatherhood? He’d been in the foster care system. He knew better than to take kindness at face value. Maybe he ought to try a little charm on her, knock her a little off balance.
“It’s nice of you to come all the way out here to check on us,” he said, adding a carefree smile that was more fake than real.
“I’m just doing my job. Do you have any questions for me? Not just about babies, but about the social services available to you?”
He had plenty of questions. And the longer he was around little Jessie, the more he seemed to have. Like how much formula should she be taking at one time? Or why did it take so long to get a burp out of her? And was she going through too many diapers?
Instead, he said, “There’s a nurse on duty at the ranch at all times, as well as the housekeeper. So they’ve been very helpful.” In fact, they were far more capable of caring for a baby than he was.
Not that he expected Joy, Shannon and the other women to do it all for him. He hadn’t left Jessie completely in their care. Hell, he practically hovered over her whenever he was in the house.
When Anna didn’t smile or appear to be the least bit relieved by his admission, he added, “You don’t need to worry.” Especially about me. “We’re doing fine.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Gallagher. I’m a little confused. I realized you mentioned staying here for a while—before taking her home. But do you have a place of your own?”
Did it matter? What was she really asking? Did she want to know if he could financially support a baby? Or was she worried that he wasn’t able to provide a home for her?
“I own a house in Brighton Valley, but I’m staying here for now. Jessie has a cradle in the office, and I sleep on the sofa.” He felt as though he’d been caught in a lie, but it was the truth.
“That’s good. I was going to ask if you needed my help finding a place.”
“No, I’ve got that covered.” Did she get this involved with other people on her caseload?
“When do you plan to take her home?” Anna asked.
“Soon.” Now that was a lie. Just the thought of being alone with her scared the hell out of him.
But since Anna would undoubtedly come back to visit and would still find him at the ranch, he’d better clarify things now. “Before I take her home, I’ll have to hire a nanny to watch her during the day so I can work. And I’m not ready to let a stranger take care of her yet. Besides, over the past few months, I’ve gotten to know the people who work with me here. They’re almost like family, especially Sam the foreman and Joy the cook. The nurses are not only loving and kind, but they know what to do with a baby.”
She tilted her head and frowned—maybe from the sunlight in her eyes. Still, it prompted him to add, “I’m learning a lot from the nurses about the baby. So no worries.”
“I’m glad to hear things are going well,” Anna said, although she crossed her arms and scanned the length of him as if she wasn’t quite convinced. “I’d better let you go back to work. I’ll see you again in a couple of days.”
“Why?”
“It’s my job. Remember?”
If she were anyone else, if she had any other job, he’d be pleased as punch to have her stop by—with or without notice. It was only the fear factor that had him uneasy, the concern that she might find him lacking as a father. And after this exchange, he had a feeling she’d pegged him as the phony he truly was.
But maybe he’d been making a much bigger deal out of her visits than he should have been. Maybe she’d been telling him the truth when she’d said she only wanted to be helpful.
“You have my number,” she said.
“You bet I do.” He tapped the front pocket of his shirt. Ever since she’d given it to him at the hospital, he’d decided to carry it with him at all times.
He might not want to have a social worker checking up on him, but that didn’t mean he was too stubborn to call for help if he really needed it.
* * *
On Monday afternoon, after a long morning spent in meetings, followed by several visits with different parents in the NICU, Anna climbed into her car and headed to the red brick building that housed several medical offices, including Brighton Valley Pediatrics. She wasn’t sure if Nate would be happy to see her or not, but she wanted to attend Jessica’s first appointment.
Preemies could present a few additional problems and worries, something Anna knew firsthand. Five years ago, while she was in her last year of grad school, her mother remarried and then, six months later, gave birth to a second daughter. Kylie, Anna’s sister, had been born ten weeks early and had faced several health issues. Fortunately, she was doing well now, but those early months had been very stressful and worrisome for everyone involved.
However, the real reason Anna had taken a special interest in Nate’s case was because she’d recently faced the biggest failure of her career. Last spring, little Danny Walker had been born full-term, but he’d had a serious heart defect that required surgery. Sadly, his mother never bonded with him, and as a result, Danny had failed to thrive.
The situation was complicated by the fact that there’d been both a surrogate and a sperm donor involved. So in Danny’s case, no one had been fully committed to raising a fragile child.
Once Danny had gone into foster care, his health improved and he began gaining weight. His prognosis was good, and the last she’d heard, he’d been cleared for adoption. But she would always regret not picking up on the warning signs and facilitating his placement sooner. That’s why Nate’s case was so important to her and why she would do everything in her power to help him bond with his daughter. If he didn’t...
Well, if he showed signs of not taking proper care of her or providing her the loving home she both needed and deserved, Anna would have the baby removed from his care.
As the elevator doors opened and let her out on the third floor, a little zing rushed through her bloodstream, kicking her pulse up a notch. Okay, so she had to admit that she was also drawn to the handsome daddy for another reason, one that had nothing to do with his parenting skills. But even so, that had nothing to do with her hope to see him become a great dad.
At least, she certainly hoped it didn’t.
She glanced at her wristwatch. It was 4:06. She’d wanted to arrive at the pediatric office a little earlier than this. Would she find Nate still in the waiting room? Or had he already been called back for the weigh-in?
Her question was answered the moment she scanned the room and saw the new daddy sitting near an aquarium, the baby carrier on his lap, his black Stetson on the chair next to him. He glanced up about the same time she spotted him.
He tossed her a crooked grin that darn near turned her heart inside out and stirred up a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. Okay, so her gut wasn’t the only thing sending feelings about Nate to her brain. But she’d have to tuck that emotional stuff away. She wasn’t about to breach any ethical boundaries by letting the sight of Nate Gallagher in those jeans and boots get to her.
Maybe she should come up with an excuse to say hello, then leave and let him visit the doctor on his own.
Yet in spite of her second thoughts, her feet seemed to move toward him on their own. So she blew off her fluttery tummy and tamped down her thumping heart.
His lips tilted into the slightest of smiles. “I wasn’t sure if you’d show up.”
Had he hoped that she would? It certainly sounded that way.
“I’m glad you came,” he added.
Seriously? For some reason, his admission stirred up that flock of butterflies that had begun to settle down during her walk across the room.
Oh, for Pete’s sake, he hadn’t meant anything by that. He was a new father, worried about his newborn and eager to learn whether she’d gained weight.
But even that realization didn’t help. After all, Danny Walker’s parents had charmed her into thinking they were glad that she’d come by to see their baby, yet their smiles and affirmations had just been a show. They’d rarely even held that little boy.
