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“Could you be pregnant?”
“Pregnant?” Jilly nearly fell off the examining table. “I don’t think so.”
She and Cain had broken up two months ago. And they’d always used condoms. In fact, she’d been so careful and obsessive about contraception that she couldn’t possibly be pregnant.
Just the thought of being an unwed mother scared the willies out of her.
Not that she didn’t want a baby, but she had her life on track right now, and she was aiming toward pillar-of-the-community status. Having a baby out of wedlock would set her back big-time—back to the Davis family values she’d tried hard to break free of and surpass.
“It’s possible to be pregnant and still have a scanty period,” Dr. Holmes said. “I’ll step out of the room while you undress. Then, after I examine you, I’ll have a better idea of what’s going on.”
A few minutes later Jilly lay on the small table, her feet in the stirrups and her head spinning wildly. I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t.
Stress altered menstrual cycles, too, she reminded herself. And Cain had certainly caused her a ton of stress. This all seemed to be his fault.
Of course, it was her fault, too.
Why couldn’t she be attracted to a decent guy, one who could make a commitment and be a family man?
“Well,” Dr. Holmes said, letting out a soft sigh and smiling. “You’re definitely pregnant. About four months, according to my estimate. I’m going to order some lab work, and an ultrasound.”
Four months pregnant? It was nearly too much for Jilly to take in.
But she could add. And that meant in five months she was going to be a mother.
An unwed mother.
Her heart sank. There went all her plans and dreams. She wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother, to have the respectability her parents hadn’t been able to provide her. But that plan required marriage first, then a baby.
Again, she had the overwhelming urge to lash out and blame a certain good-looking fireman. Her life had been all nice and tidy until sweet-talkin’ Cain came sauntering into her shop and turned her world upside down. And now she was having his baby.
She doubted he’d be happy to hear the news, especially since he’d made it clear that he didn’t particularly like kids. The whole darn mess seemed to crash down upon her, until she came up with an option she hadn’t realized she had.
Maybe Cain didn’t need to know about the baby.
She could keep the paternity of her baby a secret, and if Cain suspected the child was his, he wouldn’t utter a word. Not if it meant he’d be liable for child support. A footloose guy like that didn’t want any strings to tie him down. Or so he’d made it clear the one time she’d pressed him for a commitment.
“I’m not the marrying kind, babe,” Cain had said.
Well, that was fine with her. Jilly couldn’t imagine being married to a lying womanizer like him.
She glanced at Dr. Holmes, wondering if she had any advice or a magical potion to make Jilly’s life fall into place.
“I’d like you to start taking prenatal vitamins.” The doctor pulled a notepad out of the pocket of her lab coat and began to write. “I’ll jot down the name of the brand I’d prefer you buy. The sooner you start taking them the better.”
“All right,” Jilly said, taking the sheet of paper the doctor handed her. She was glad to have a note, something in writing, otherwise, she might forget the brand altogether.
“Do you have any questions or concerns?”
Questions or concerns? Heck, she had a ton of them, but they slipped around inside her head like the spinning fruit and numbers on a slot machine, and she had no idea which question would pop out first.
“I’m scared, Dr. Holmes. And confused. I don’t even know…” Tears welled up in her eyes, and her tongue turned to mush.
The doctor snatched a tissue from the countertop, handed it to Jilly and slipped an arm around her shoulder. “Why don’t you make an appointment to come back in and see me later this week, when you’ve had a chance to think about things. We can talk about options.”
“Options?”
“Well, you don’t have to keep the baby.”
Give her baby up?
No way.
Jilly didn’t need to hear any options. Her pregnancy might be totally unplanned, but this was her baby. It wasn’t the poor kid’s fault its mommy made a big mistake in the daddy-picking process.
“I don’t need to think about options, Doctor, but I would like to talk to you about…stuff.” Jilly swiped the tissue under her eyes. It was times like this that she really missed having a mother, although she hadn’t been able to depend upon her mom when she’d been alive. But the fact was, Jilly didn’t have anyone, not a sister or even a real girlfriend—the kind that kept secrets and didn’t blab them all over town. “I don’t have a clue what to expect. And I’m nervous.”
“I can understand that.” Dr. Holmes smiled. “I’ll have to check the schedule, but I think Friday afternoon is open.”
“Thanks,” Jilly muttered.
“Do you have someone you can talk to? A mother or sister? A friend?”
“Yeah, sort of.” She had a friend, all right. Only this had to be the heaviest problem she’d ever dumped on him.
“Feel free to call me anytime,” the doctor said.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay.”
Now all Jilly needed to do was convince her self that she could handle this unplanned turn of events.
Jilly carried her secret for two days before she gave in to the urge to contact Jeff.
Who else could she turn to? Certainly not Cain. Jeff had always been there for her, even when he and MAFFS were out fighting fires. She figured e-mail would be her best bet, especially if she tried to reach him through his business address.
Her only other resort was to call Reed Kingsley, Jeff’s cousin. But Reed was the Rumor fire chief and Cain’s boss.
Quite frankly, she didn’t want to go that route.
In the past, Jeff had always managed to answer her e-mail. Eventually.
Hey, flyboy, she typed into the computer screen. He’d earned the nickname by dragging her out to every airport in the county to look at planes and talk to the air junkies who hung out there. Can you give me a call when you get a chance? I need to talk to you.
It was another day and evening before Jeff read her e-mail and got a chance to use his cell phone.
“What’s up, Jilly?”
When she heard his voice over the line, for the first time in her life, she found it hard to speak. She carried the portable phone to the sofa and plopped down.
Posey, having followed her around for days and sensing her distress, hopped up to join her.
“Are you there?” Jeff asked.
Yeah, she was here. Pregnant and struggling with how to form the words. She cleared her voice and forced herself to speak. “I need a friend.”
The simple phrase had become a code between them, letting him know she’d screwed something up in her life and needed him to bail her out.
And she’d certainly “screwed things up” this time. She rolled her eyes at the apt description.
“Jilly, I’m a bit tied up right now, but I’ll do what I can. What’s wrong?”
She squeezed the receiver until her knuckles ached. How could she tell Jeff that she was pregnant by the guy he’d repeatedly warned her about? The guy he’d never liked since grade school. The guy she should have known to avoid from day one.
Well, she certainly couldn’t keep Jeff hanging on the line, not when he was probably calling from the command post at the fire.
“I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what?” Static crackled on the line, but she had a feeling he would have voiced the same question had he been standing next to her.
I’m what? had been her initial reaction, too. It still was. Lord, would she ever get used to the idea of being pregnant?
She blew out a weary sigh. “I really don’t know how it happened, or how I failed to notice the signs. But I’m four months pregnant, Jeff.”
The line froze, or so it seemed. Not even the static responded, which led her to wonder if he’d hung up. She shook off the old insecurity. Jeff wouldn’t do that to her.
“Have you told Cain?”
Heck no, she hadn’t called that jerk. What did Cain have to offer her? More lies? More stress?
She needed a friend, someone she could depend on. She needed Jeff, like she never had before.
Jilly had never been one to wade into deep psychological waters, but Jeff was a stabilizing force in her life, and his sobering influence curtailed the rebellious streak that often got her into trouble.
And she was in big trouble now.
“I’m not going to tell Cain anything,” she said. “Even if he was inclined to offer marriage or a hand in child rearing, I’ve learned my lesson. He’s not daddy or husband material. I’m going to go through this alone.”
“Now, just a minute. That guy has a responsibility to live up to, even if it’s just sending you a monthly check for child support.”
“I don’t need him or his money.” Jilly was used to living on a budget and depending upon herself.
“You need his financial support. And he needs to face up to his responsibilities—for once in his life.”
Jeff was probably right. He always was, so it seemed. What would she have done without him?
When he left town five years ago, she was sure he was leaving her, like every other male she’d ever known. But he’d called her every week, insisting on maintaining a friendship. And she was glad he had, although their friendship did have a downside.
Jeff often took on the role of a big brother and criticized everyone she’d ever dated, saying the guy wasn’t good enough for her, which was sweet, she supposed.
It was also true, unfortunately.
Jilly never picked the right kind of guy. Her recent experience with Cain was certainly proof of that.
But Jeff was right, as much as she hated to admit it. She had to tell Cain about the baby, even though she didn’t want to.
Jilly had always dreamed of falling in love, getting married and having a baby—in that order. Guilt assaulted her, and she hated the idea of parenting a child with a man who wasn’t the white knight she’d once thought.
But worse, she dreaded raising a child in a single-parent home.
Usually able to don a tough exterior, she broke down in blubbery tears.
Jeff couldn’t stand to hear Jilly cry. She was such a tough cookie on the outside, but inside she was delicate, a tenderhearted softy.
He gave her time to cry, which is what he would have done had he been there to hold her. Still, her tears always did a number on him, and he needed time to think things through, plan his words of support.
Her call had taken him aback, not just because he was busy at the makeshift fire-fighting headquarters, but because he hadn’t liked Cain in the first place.
He supposed he could understand her attraction to the cocky fireman. Jilly had never been entirely convinced that she amounted to much—a result of her mother’s criticism and the community gossip, he’d always suspected. No wonder she’d fallen for a line of bull when good-looking, fast-talking Cain paid attention to her.
Jeff suddenly felt an overwhelming compulsion to slam a fist into the macho fireman’s face.
Maybe he was jealous of the guy, in a strange sort of way. The guy who married Jilly was going to be a hell of a lucky man. And Jeff hated to think that man would be Cain.
“Are you okay?” he asked, when he figured Jilly had gotten her tears and sobs under control.
She sniffled. “Yes. I guess so. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right.”
Yeah, that’s what she always told him when she got into trouble. But this was different. More serious. She was pregnant, for cripe’s sake.
“I know it’ll be tough for you to do, but you’ve got to tell him about the baby, honey.”
The term of endearment had slipped out, through no intention of his own. But it felt right. Jilly was a sweetheart, and she didn’t deserve any of the crap Cain had dealt her.
“Okay,” she said, her voice shaking and laced with tears she would probably continue to shed long after they hung up the phone. It killed him to see her brokenhearted, worried, alone.
“I’ll tell him tomorrow,” she said.
“It’s the right thing to do, Jilly.”
She blew out a sigh. “I guess that’s why I called you. I knew you’d see things more clearly than me. And maybe Cain will react differently than I expect.”
Jeff doubted Cain would be man enough to step up to the plate and do right by her and the baby, but she owed him the truth.
Again Jeff was struck with the urge to batter Cain senseless, but that wouldn’t help Jilly.
Jeff had been looking after her for years and would continue to do so. That’s what friends were for. “I’ll stop by and see you as soon as we get this fire under control.”
She sniffled. “I’d like that.”
