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They jump so high that the moon trembles from a thousand heads striking it. And a huge gnome lives on that moon, this gnome was born there a long time ago, I don’t even remember what century it was – I know for sure that this gnome loves animals, so much so that he invites them to live with him, promising them delicious food and grass. In addition to the centaur and the minotaur, of course, no one agrees, but how could it be otherwise, who knows who this dwarf really is.
You sit on your chair and wonder why you looked at the sky so often and didn’t see them because you were so grown up and distracted by all the nonsense around you. In an instant, you wanted to change, remembered how as a child you dreamed of becoming a dragon or an eagle, flying high up and shitting on those who were against you. Today, you left all your affairs to rest and rushed forward, through the clouds, cutting them on the plane – only you cannot fly to them, and they cannot enter the plane to you – they do not even see you, because they were not told that there are adults in the world, besides children, who can see them. They themselves saw the children and waved either their tail or their hooves and said hello to the children, accompanied them with shouts and flew away towards the sunset.
The children laughed and rejoiced. But there were also adult children among them, when the little ones pointed a finger at a unicorn and said how beautifully it chews a marmalade cloud, they did not see anything and simply twisted their finger around their temple and said that it was time for them to see a psychiatrist to be cured. But childhood does not need to be cured, it was childhood that gave us happiness, well, really… Can you imagine how many adults who are unhappy because they have become adults, they are interested in money and how many people will come to dinner, how big their hall and house will be, how much acres to reach beyond the horizon of their land, that’s all!
And then… the unicorns flew over the horizon, and the most fascinating animals appeared in the sky, and not even animals… fish of different sizes, perches, crucian carp, dolphins and sharks, jellyfish and killer whales swam among them, among them were stingrays and jellyfish- dwarfs, skates and a thousand more clown fish, they circled in a round dance and turned the sky into a real holiday – fireworks from them, this is the best thing the children have ever seen. And there were fireflies among them that shone, and flew up to the porthole and circled outside the window until they were called crickets, composing a song for them, come here, something cool has been prepared for you here. They flew away, followed by hummingbirds, they often liked to fly through the sky and catch these fireflies, but today was a different day – a day of piety and friendliness. These are the things that are happening in heaven, but only adults forgot a long time ago,
Somehow you may be lucky, and you will believe in miracles at the age of forty, at a hundred years, when you are still alive and your mind is not busy earning as much as possible, and achieving as much success as possible – everything in this world is beautiful, even without the money that you save up all your life – it’s so simple.
One day, flying like this in the sky on an airplane, you will fall asleep, and when you wake up you will see purple frogs jumping on your clothes, then do not be afraid, everything is fine. In fact, only you can see them, otherwise all people would have long since jumped from their seats and panicked, not even an hour, and then the plane will fall – these are magic frogs, they do not come to adults and boring people. Rejoice. Just for a moment you began to believe in miracles, and miracles are all around you. Many of them will jump on the floor, chameleons will run along the walls, hummingbirds and jellyfish will run through the window, and below, the whale swims so majestically, waving its fin so hard that the clouds rush over the horizon forty times faster than ever.
From under the wires of the garlands – who lived there in the country of the Lilliputians; a brush flew out and began to chirp that he did not agree with the hand of the padishah holding his ass. After all, he is, you know, straight and against fisting! Drowning himself in the toilet, he doesn’t like it, you see. And who, pray tell, likes it, except maybe a dog named “Moo-mu”. He also played such BDSM games with Gerasim, went fishing and drowned, they really enjoyed it. They say that Mu-mu drowned himself with his paw by the hair in order to get more adrenaline. With the other hand he beat himself on the second, but the second was cruel, laughed and bit, throwing the first hand into the urn near the shore with piranhas. A dwarf-nose lived in the lake, on his hump they danced break-dance and tango. Each time returning to life, the dog barks at people, provokes anger, and asks them to drown him in a basin in the bathroom. His silky hair would then jump on his back, blown by the wind of diamonds. He loves it, except he can’t die, his head hits the floor, and he’s sniffing the dust left behind by Flash last week when he ran after Ant-Man in search of the microverse on the flea’s back.
Yorshik beat the padishah’s hand until the padishah stuck his head into the toilet and scribbled marmalade from the walls of the zombie city. The zombies there were scary, they were toothy, terribly screaming, stretching their paws and trying to eat marmalade before the brush. Yorshik ate them by their impudent paws, and there is no other way to get rid of these infections. Mr propper cries when he sees them. Even he cannot wash their dirty faces.
– Yes, you choke! – spitting zombie arms and legs on the crocodile’s back underwater. He sat at the bottom of the toilet and read the newspaper “Komsomolskaya Pravda” spreading his paws on a deck chair, smoking a Hawaiian cigar made of worms. He smiled contentedly, laughing as he turned the page to another. So it was, I swear to you the life of cockroaches all over the world! Yes, so that they all die, if I’m lying! Yes, cake in my mouth! The same thing, they immediately believed, they still doubted.
If only Aunt Motya, the most insidious of all turtles in the world, knew that his son spends his money like that, she would return and beat him with a belt of chainsaws and sharp saws. And then I would sell leather on the black market for shoes. Blondes from Moscow are very turned on by crocodile skin. They even die when they stroke the skin of a crocodile. That’s how much they love each other.
And here, a beautiful deer lived in Narnia, he ran away from there that week, went out to Kazan, wiped the snot from his face and began to cry. All people were without body hair. It’s horrible… terrible and frightening. Seven years have passed since then, since yesterday, because he considered, like, one day, seven years. Butterflies taught him so that they lived one day in his world.
The hippo loved cotton candy, and every evening he went to work with the cloud people and pulled pieces from the clouds, and made cotton candy out of them, sprinkled with sugar on top. Of course, people did not know this, that they made cotton wool from clouds, because when they gave cotton wool to hippos, they plugged their nose during bleeding, and their buttocks during injections. Hippo spread your arms to the sides and ran away. He cried for three days, then his eyes dried up, and he climbed into the lake, which he himself cried out. He drank half, mixed the rest with mud and became a statue, until better times. He will wake up tomorrow, when people will say “today” not today.
A goose lived in a column of one giant, he had the ability to know all the songs in the world, and all the languages of the world. He barked all day in Mongolian, Tajik and Chinese. He knew physics and chemistry, zoology and astrology, and every evening he thought about the stars about millet porridge. One day, returning from a Negro disco, the giant forgot the black speakers. And the Negroes do not stand on ceremony for a long time, they stole the column and brought it to the point where they sold burnt things. Here they are vtyuhivayut column, when suddenly, a goose beatboxing, speaks in the voice of Putin, everyone immediately fled, and some of them killed themselves in the name of God. It’s not surprising, since Satan himself got in touch through the speakers.
– I will slaughter you all, gentlemen and gentlemen, I will sell your offal on the black market for free. We’ll make activated charcoal out of blacks.
Well, how can you not be afraid. For the hands of a white man to touch them, but this will never happen!
Once, Mike Tyson took a loan and did not pay it, and waited for collectors. There was a knock on the door, several whores lay on the threshold, a hundred million dollars in suitcases and Elon Musk, tied and gagged. Mars was in his eyes. People from that planet waved their hands, fired salutes and laughed. They bought a ticket for this performance today. The whores hovered at Tyson’s feet, without panties, and demanded that he be gentle with them, because they are from the planet of the veil, and their skin is fragile, like crystal.
The mummy, returning from the other world, found that all the toilet papers were sold out by alarmed people during the coronavirus. It became a shame for the mummy to walk naked, and lies in a coffin and waits for toilet paper with a three-layer soft face of children to appear instead of paper.
In Zeeland, under the bricks on the beach of the Maldives, in a large hole, maniac mushrooms live, they run around with kitchen and hunting knives and kill people. They pounce on people’s heads, cut out their ears, eat them, break their legs and put them under themselves instead of legs, put on their heads instead of a hat and run around the clearing, laughing, happy. Snowdrops, chanterelles, fly agarics and a variety of mushrooms catch people, trip them, then pounce, tie their legs and drag them into a hole and skin them there.
In Bashkiria, herbivorous wild people live, primitive. Seeing people from neighboring republics, they hide under a stone, and sit, wait for people and attack them with spears. Their hair is pulled out and glued under the armpits, arms, legs and chest. They believe that hair should be all over the body. And they worship monkeys because they have the most hair.
I saw him the summer before last, when the stars were killed by a fragmentation grenade. The grenade shattered into pieces, and little dwarfs with knives and forks flew out of them, and they stabbed the star into the tank, having previously tied their mouths so as not to scream. Here he was among them – my little brownie, manual. His name is Seryoga. He is a legless invalid. His leg was bitten off by sharks when I threw him over the side of the boat. He tried to climb back, but my boot was not simple, with one sharp blow I opened his venous vein, and he, like a fountain, flew back, and the shark grabbed him and dragged him down. When Seryoga shouted that he would let me stay with him for a week, I immediately pulled his body without legs from the water. Then he started threatening me. Can you imagine me? That I’m a bad friend. Son of a bitch! I had to throw him back, where he was torn to pieces by piranhas, because the back is also a leg. The chest remains yes hands. He didn’t scream anymore. It is understandable, I closed his mouth with a sock, which I removed from my foot. I protected them and never took them off for ten years. He could not pull them out, because I tied his hands in his rectum, and pulled him out through his nose, and with a bow, and with a bow. When a week later, three years ago, the time came to leave the house, I had to roll it up in a carpet and throw it in the trash. And he told everyone that he had gone on a business trip abroad. But whoever asked me, no one actually saw my brownie. We shared responsibilities at home equally. He cleaned, cooked, washed, brought money, repaired and bought everything, and I watched the weather on TV and told me when to go out so that he would not get caught in the rain. Every time he left, slamming the door on his skateboard, I laughed because he forgot to put on his shoes, stupid Seryoga. He tumbled down the stairs. He loved it – as he himself said, he loves parkour and break dancing, in a word, wallowing on the ground. I also laid a place for him on the floor of dirt and old, worn underpants with dead rats. In the morning I opened the cage, walked him on the balcony, while he was doing business there, and he himself would put it in a bag. Sometimes, I didn’t have time to walk with him, I needed to be lazy, he grabbed himself by the leash and walked himself. When the alarm clock rang, he pulled himself out of the balcony. When he did not obey, he beat himself on the armature on the balcony, and pinched his temple with the door. Only strangely he did his business due to the lack of a backside, and shit from his mouth all the time. I told him that you can just open his stomach and pull everything out, it’s not the case to defecate through the mouth. And he, you see, does not want to be cut. But then it will be convenient. Sew on the lock and open it,
So. They took him away in a dustbin, never saw him again until that day. Well, I didn’t see him, I watched him through binoculars in the photograph on the wall of his mother, no more, I remembered with good words. How he cleaned, walked himself and washed the toilet. Now I had to buy brushes and sponges. But he licked everything well, to a shine. When the cat hit him on the back with a stool, he smiled. The cat did not like crybabies and began to scalp Seryoga. There is not a single living seamless place on the face. The cat beats him, then sews him up, sitting by the fireplace. However, I forgot to mention how the mother poured slop on the photo, it was probably his favorite dish. When he was still alive, he always ate food from a bucket under the sink. And it turns out he is quite alive.
You know, he was kind of cruel. The street has changed him. He began to carry a fork in his pocket. When he tangled under the feet of the dwarves, like a withered locust leg, they kicked him, pulled him up on a rope and strangled him. Then a huge dwarf came out and boxed. Sometimes, they even hung a rug on him and beat him with a hoe to knock off the dust. To get the dust out of the carpet faster, he vacuumed the dust into his mouth and licked it until it was shiny. He knew very well that cleanliness was more important. Cleanliness is the key to survival.
When he saw me, he immediately begged me to help him. Well, the hurricane was there, a sandstorm of incredible proportions. And I’m kind, I couldn’t pass by, I took a hoe and began to help shake out the dust, knock it off the carpet, with all my might, in order to finish faster. Somehow the hoe got stuck in my head, I put both feet on the skull and barely pulled it out. Kissel dripped from him. And immediately Seryoga’s legs grew. He got up, grabbed the dwarfs and bit off their heads, spat out and ran at me, shouting that I was finished. I pulled out my magnum and fired right between the eyes. The double plexus of his eyes flew out of his head and crashed into the tree behind him. Woodpeckers flew in and started pecking at his eyes, so they then lost their beak. It turns out that Seryoga was short-sighted, and woodpeckers saw only far-sighted. Near-sighted eyes are denser than a diamond, while far-sighted eyes are as light as air. No wonder the universe is expanding and all the planets are moving away from each other. Even the worms know this when they crawl through my friend’s intestines.
With a quick jerk of the mongoose, I took out his eyes and tore them into nine pieces, then fed them to mice, and told him to guess where his eye was. He looked at the mice and said that here and there. But I didn’t guess. He got upset. I fried him fried eggs from mice, gave him, then, after all, I also fed mice. I gave him, of course, of course, on the right ear, from where the toothpick was sticking out. He brushed his back teeth like that after eating meat.
And so, his eyes grew, but he did not dare to goggle them at me, they grew under his feet. All in the final went. Then he adapted to crawl like a worm in order to see everything ahead of him. He crawled over cow dung, over mud, over grass, over engine oil. Spat.
Then I got tired of it, I pulled it out of the socket, and it became a toaster. You see, he didn’t like being a toaster either. I took it by the tail and threw it into the aquarium with the whale. The whale chewed it, chewed it, spat it out.
“Shit,” he said, and went to bed, powdering his nose. Poseidon was sitting there, on a leash, on a chain and barking bubbles. He maintained the humidity in the room so that oxygen circulated.
Then I hired a shark as a servant to eat him and poop him back out to realize that he was nothing compared to other creatures. Of course, he did not like being a slave, but he humbly obeyed me until he found a genie ring and made a wish for freedom.
“Run across the ceiling thirty times, show a rabbit on your finger seven times and become a wolverine three times, that’s all,” said the genie, and disappeared.
He could. It was easy, but he did it the hard way. He became a wolverine by sticking table knives to the bones of his hand, sewing a rabbit onto his finger, and running across the ceiling in a frozen lake, and became free.
When he came to me to demand his house back, I gave it to him without argument. But he did not give up the apartment. Then he grabbed me by the neck, bit off my trachea, and spit it out into a vat of acid. Then he rolled me in concrete, tiled me in the bathroom, and sprinkled me with chamomile water, which I’m allergic to, and I became swollen, all the pimples became rounded like an egg, and he kicked me there when he took a bath. I climbed out of the wall, slammed him against the tiles on the floor, dipped his face in blade shards, and walled him up in a soap bottle, flattening him to the size of an aspirin. He swam there, wiping the walls with his hands, trying to see me. I swirled the shampoo and smeared it on my hair, but not on my head. He was allergic to hair. This often happens if you use something often. He fell. Seryoga too. They fell together. His dignity and courage.
The toaster was strange.
And then I woke up. The roommate looked at me and told me to wash the dishes. I went and washed. Did everything around the house while he sat and laughed from the TV shows. I didn’t like it. I grabbed the refrigerator and hit it on his impudent head. He turned around saying:
– Ay, bleat – and gave me cunts. And in the dream everything was so cool. When will I also become a fifth-year student and use my first-year slaves. Dream dream
The onion peel was able to skillfully soar above the trash can and catch flies in its arms, so that later it could be fried in a pan and eaten. It is understandable, people often do not think about it. You think that everything in the world is so simple, and the onion creature has no soul, fools, but here it is. Only she lives in another dimension, there, people, are just decorations for their world. More precisely, the husk does not see moving things, and concentrates on one, slow movement, like a fly. They see a fly only because they fly right before their eyes and they are small, and people block the whole view, like a canvas of a built wall, their largeness makes them invisible. Therefore, when we look at the husk, it stands peacefully and does not hunt, because it does not see the enemy in front of it. But as soon as we leave, and go back to the kitchen, when suddenly it turns out, that the husk moved a few centimeters deep into the cabinet. This is how she hunts for flies, cockroaches and sweeps the dust where she will sleep.
People, of course, think that this is all because of the wind, but everything is much more complicated.
But the flies, they are still those geniuses. You can see how they fly away somewhere and disappear, looking for them and not finding them. This is because when we get close to their house, they fly out of the pocket dimension, where they have satellite TV, sofas, tiny dogs and spoons so that we do not find their house, and fly away from that place. They love their place of existence. When everyone around goes to sleep, the flies go hunting and carry bread crumbs, pasta, salt, sugar into their hole, fly in and make tea. They feed their children in cocoons. On TV they show huge caterpillars on cabbages, how ants milk them, and butterflies, picking up those, carry them to a more productive place, where there is more fresh cabbage and delicious cucumbers. Sometimes, when switching channels, you can find how two rhinoceros beetles are fighting in the arena for a large piece of the ball and a girl, with whom they will mate after the end of the match. But then they smile and high-five themselves, dump the girl, split the ball in half, and go off drinking whiskey together. They know for sure that taking each other’s lives because of some woman is sheer stupidity. They are smart. And the girl stands at the edge of the arena and sighs, the locust judge runs up to her, and she does not know any other choice, and mates with him, only she cannot have children with the locust. And, if they were, they would be disabled and backward. Since then, the girl has become disillusioned with men and mates with just about anyone to satisfy her needs. Everyone started calling her that – a consumer-consumer. that taking each other’s lives because of some woman is sheer stupidity. They are smart. And the girl stands at the edge of the arena and sighs, the locust judge runs up to her, and she does not know any other choice, and mates with him, only she cannot have children with the locust. And, if they were, they would be disabled and backward. Since then, the girl has become disillusioned with men and mates with just about anyone to satisfy her needs. Everyone started calling her that – a consumer-consumer. that taking each other’s lives because of some woman is sheer stupidity. They are smart. And the girl stands at the edge of the arena and sighs, the locust judge runs up to her, and she does not know any other choice, and mates with him, only she cannot have children with the locust. And, if they were, they would be disabled and backward. Since then, the girl has become disillusioned with men and mates with just about anyone to satisfy her needs. Everyone started calling her that – a consumer-consumer.
Far, far away from where the dimension of flies lurks, there is a dimension of potatoes. There, potatoes plant people in the ground and watch how they grow, and every six months they cut off their heads and cook soup out of them. Pushing a spoon to the throat, the potatoes feel how a person gives off a delicious aroma. Stewed, fried, slices, mashed potatoes, slices, with peel – they make dishes out of people’s heads in various ways. Children especially love them, and ask for supplements. Then, mom and dad go to the garden and cut off another handful of ears, eyes, nose and tongue, and go home to fry them in a pan. Here – meat has always been in the first place, as the potato is the food of salvation in our world. There were no other animals there. But, nevertheless, if you rustle through the back streets of the beds, you can find macaques and orangutans, gorillas and chimpanzees. Potatoes do not distinguish them very well, therefore, every spring, when they go out into the dimension of people, they euthanize these animals and drag them to their home, making them in reserve. Only they often come with a large abundance of hair on the body and head, and you have to clean them off better than people – with a human cutter. Monkeys scream like not people, but potatoes distinguish only silence and do not hear voices. But as soon as a person is silent, the potato immediately thinks that this is a rational animal, and they begin to cry. For just a second, they cry until they chop them for borscht, make zrazy out of them and put whites in the oven. But as soon as a person is silent, the potato immediately thinks that this is a rational animal, and they begin to cry. For just a second, they cry until they chop them for borscht, make zrazy out of them and put whites in the oven. But as soon as a person is silent, the potato immediately thinks that this is a rational animal, and they begin to cry. For just a second, they cry until they chop them for borscht, make zrazy out of them and put whites in the oven.
Every morning outside Norway, Zlatoust Logan, the son of Wolverine, wakes up. He works in a cane field and collects sugar. He is driven by a horse, hitting him on the back with a whip, forcing him to drag a plow lassoed around his neck. Not only does he collect sugar canes on the field, but he also has to plow the land along the way. Horses sit on a plow and drink martinis with an umbrella on a glass. They are constantly laughing, discussing something. But, this time, Logan, most likely, he was tired of being a slave, went against his masters. More specifically, parents. He was found in childhood in a cauldron of radioactive uranium and tellurium, and they took him in. The horses did not think that he would survive, they took him as an entrance stuffed animal to frighten predators. But one day, the scarecrow began to cry when the horse, entering the house drunk, brushed its hooves on the baby’s teeth. Then he, waving his hand, without knowing it, not realizing it, cut off the horse’s hooves. And even then, the horse neighed. He’s always neighing. Logan grew up to be a good worker. I didn’t think that there were other people, my parents didn’t show it to anyone. That’s why he thought he was an invalid, who was a bit different from them. And the horses, when he asked them, laughing, without words, answered that he sees himself as a two-legged, and all the rest as a four-legged – a horse. He believed everything. There was nothing to compare. As proof, they pointed to themselves and neighed:
You see that we are horses, so we see that you are a horse.
“Okay, dad and mom,” he said, and dragged the plow with his parents.
But on this day, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a car on the other side of the field, there was a man standing there, bipedal. And Logan doubted that his parents were telling the truth, uncovered his claws, and attacked them demanding an answer. Immediately the parents bowed their heads, put ropes around their necks, and began to plow the ground and gather reeds. It was clear that it was impossible to hide everything from him for so long. On that day, Logan left his only home and went to the car, and neighed, getting on all fours, trying to communicate with the man. The man, seeing him, fell to the ground and rolled with laughter. And almost died. Then he got up, dusted himself off, twisted his finger at his temple, got into the car, took out a gun and told him to get out of here – an underdeveloped schizophrenic. Logan didn’t understand, of course, and walked towards him, wiggling his butt as if he had a tail. And then a man shot at him, the bullet reached Chrysostom and ripped off all the skin from his face. Logan spat out pellets from his mouth, flew up to him, turned around and kicked him in the chest, that all the organs flew out of him – his heart crashed into a bough about ten meters from Logan, a crow flew up, pecked, fell to the ground and died immediately. The heart could not be blacker from sin, poisoned. Even the tree crumbled. And the land became unsuitable for plants. Logan got into the car and pressed what he saw, on all the pedals and began to turn the steering wheel in all directions. The car flew up and rushed down the road, right into the ravine, and reached the parents’ house, destroyed their house. The gas boiler exploded and started a fire. Then the boiler fell on the father’s head, and shredded him, and the second fragment landed on the mother, and she began to burn. Logan flew out of the car, the equipment flew onto a stone, rolled over, a branch stuck into the tank, and the fuel splashed right on the mother, who immediately burned in the agony of pain. The fried meat smelled good. Chrysostom drooled, and having attacked the body of his parents, he possessed them to the bone, because the instincts of a predator cannot be put anywhere. Logan had never seen meat and did not even think that you can eat meat, he smelled the smell, realized he was different, and ate them. Father with salt, mother cut into small slices, like a sausage. True, it gave off gasoline, but everything was quickly ventilated. Finishing his mother, Logan saw the second horse inside her, small, even her eyes did not open. Instead of eating it, he left the little one behind, built a house out of trees nearby, and raised him to be a real person. Taught him to speak. Read. Subtract. They studied together, according to the books that one day the god lowered on them, opening the heavens. Holding out the books, he said:
“Study hard, my son.
He snapped his finger, and both of them began to understand letters and numbers, the human mind returned to them, rejecting the horse’s mind.
Indians and cowboys live on a towel that dries on a radiator. They are rock climbing.
Several chubby and skinny people are sitting in a flask in the laboratory of Professor Mendeleev. Mood and emotions are squeezed out of them, sweat for cooking chocolate. Then the mood is implanted in marshmallows, in lights, in mirrors, in water. The water cries because the earth does not run out of water, the fire laughs because all the kangaroos die in Australia.
The most important thing is not this. And that besides them, there are other beautiful creatures in the world that completely prove themselves in the field of development. The tea leaves are building a time machine to save their children from getting into the hot water. The box of “Princess Noori” is already on the shelves, and the older leaves have only a few days to build a time machine inside the bag and fly away from this hell. They make gears, chips, energy, wheels, an atom splitter out of the dust of their skins, so that only once, once, fly to the other side of the past. But when the time comes, they do not have time, and boiling water kills them, they drown. Sometimes, the surviving leaves float on the surface of the milk, try to climb onto the bowl and jump down, but the person drowns it with a spoon, closes the cup with a lid, or throws it in the trash,
And in honey, by the way, the gods of temptation live. They beckon you to eat them and they penetrate you. After all, they fight with your brain, and take over the neurons, and control you so that you yourself, without knowing it, begin to eat what your honey god wants to eat. The temptation is strong. God might want a rotten egg and you can’t resist, or he might want a juicy steak and you’ll find a way to cook a steak. And if not, then the Negro, your servant, will find a pig on the street, slaughter it, and cook it for you, while he himself will be content with a bone. It happens that a negro fights with a dog for a bone, and sometimes with other slaves from a neighboring village who came from a disco. Even the white bums manage their slaves and send them out into the street to beg, and instead of the money they bring them, the bums give them banana peels and apple seeds. This is how slaves survive. Among the slaves there is one unique, unlike any of them – four-legged. He shoots cobwebs from his butt and likes to hang from a tree and eat mosquitoes that land on a banana peel that his homeless owner gave him. However, all whites could manage each other’s slaves. So there is a cycle of the earth. Where God is, there is always devastation and war.
And in the sixth planet, lost in three seconds between two, which in the mirror is ten between nine, there are surprisingly lively delicacies. Pasta is made of worms, instead of meat, nuts, and when you put it in your mouth, the worms become pasta, and the nuts become meat. The oil drunk from the canister turns into strong tea, and the gasoline that comes from gas stations, getting into a person’s mouth, turns into multi-fruit birch sap. Here, when someone wants to eat, they chew grass, because the grass becomes cheese, and the cheese itself can be used to lubricate the chains of bicycles and motorcycles. If you pour gasoline into your mouth and spit it back out, the juice becomes gasoline again. Therefore, both gasoline and juice here cost exactly the same. Sixty-nine rubles ninety kopecks per liter.
In a kettle that boils on a gas stove, inside, instead of bubbles, small planets are formed with their own rules and laws. The planet flies and bursts. But in this fraction of seconds, wars are born on the planet, dinosaurs die, time machines are built and they are visited by aliens from other planets. They age and die. In one nanosecond, a million years pass. And none of them know that they are bubbles in the water. And they die, because scientists said that the lid of the universe would soon open, and its bottom would stop warming their world, they would freeze and dissolve into one large plane. From a clean slate, as if there had never been planets, but there was only emptiness – black and immense. And so it happened. The fire went out, the lid opened, and they spread like butter on a frying pan. There was one transparent universe, but dark with a closed lid. Evolution has stopped. It happens at times that, getting into the cup, bubbles form with renewed vigor, but already dark, cold, where snow creatures live. They live the same way for millions of years until they enter the human stomach, or when the spoon stops spinning them in the funnel. Scientists say that the center of the funnel is the center of the universe, that everything goes there and dies. They were right. Once there, their world burst and they all disappeared. They couldn’t do anything.
And once, one of them was able to fly to the side of the cup, and become a solidified universe – a planet, sugared in a bubble. And their world existed for trillions of centuries. And a scientist from their world was able to go beyond his world and find that they are just dust, even less. They entered the subatomic world. Their planet also had subatomic particles, but they were visible only through a microscope, just like in our world. But it turns out that the scientist did not know everything, and having left his world, he got into our reality and became subatomic himself. And from there there is no way out. They say that there are rumors that he still flies there and is looking for a wormhole in reality. After all, there are holes in the subatomic world that send you into the world and make you the size you were in your world. That is, a subatomic person who has fallen out of there becomes a full-sized person, nothing else. If an animal from that planet got there and found an enlargement portal, it could become the size of a cow, and maybe an elephant. If we ourselves got there and flew out into the hole, we would become a person on that bubble, completely invisible. Time would speed up for us, and we wouldn’t even notice that we hadn’t been home for a hundred years.
If you look at the light bulb, it seems that it shines and everything around you can see, as if in the sun. In fact, it does not burn, and our eyes themselves see the world as such, because we inspired ourselves that the light bulb shines. We screw in a light bulb and rejoice that there is light, in fact, we screw in a light bulb that never burns and never burned. It’s all an illusion of perception. Playing with us and with our brain. As is the night. We invented it to sleep. No, the brain invented and forgot to tell us. The brain controls us, not we. In fact, after all, we are brilliant creatures and use the brain only for a percentage, but even this is enough to get the ability to see in the dark with “not a light bulb”, with the bulb turned off. If we could use the brain at ten or forty percent, then we could not breathe and be alive outside, fly out of our world, and the suggestion of that it is cold in space and the vacuum compresses the body to a raisin would cease to be a problem for us. In fact, there is nothing in space, and we ourselves create fear of it. The more one believes in it, the stronger the illusion. In a word, the whole world is the same as ours, but because of the unknown, we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down. we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down. we alter and invent those laws that, in principle, do not exist. The brain itself is suggested, and when we get into space, our thoughts become reality and we freeze, shrink, and the brain helps this by sending a command to the whole body to shrink and cool down.
Yes, it seems to you that everything around is real, but that’s why the brain works to make everything seem real and you don’t feel like a machine. Precisely because everything seems so, we do not even think about what could be otherwise. We can even go out into the astral world and see that we are flying in space, and everything – houses, garages, animals, cars, TVs, lawn and trees, barrels and a golf course, they are not. We wander through space like a forgotten flip phone. And everything that you see is invented by people, of course, but by people who send imperceptible impulses of perception to each other, and what they came up with is seen by everyone around. That is, the created vacuum cleaner is an illusion, but the thought of the one who created it was transferred to the thoughts of all people around the world, and therefore, they see the same thing as him. And when one of the people moves a thing, the impulse again goes to the brain of all people, they say, he moved it, and now the vacuum cleaner should be seen right here. And once again, when someone sees that damned vacuum cleaner, it’s not there, but they will see it.
If we look at a cup that stands on the table from the horizon, it will seem to us that it does not have a top and bottom, as usual, i.e. it has no bottom and no hole. And we cannot know if it is from below or from above. The bottom is created at the moment when we approach, so that during our full approach, it can be recreated into a container with a bottom. From the horizon, we see the model in the second dimension, like paper, and it has no volume, until we get closer and realize that this object must have volume, because we have seen it as volume all our lives. But as soon as we move away, the object begins to turn into 2D. The further we move away, the less important it becomes for the environment. Pixels, no clarity. Imagine that we have drawn a still life, and we see that there is volume, there is color, beauty and height, that it seems to be real, but as soon as we get closer and take a closer look, we understand that this is a drawing. It’s the same with 3D objects. They seem to us as objects in the second dimension, turning into the third. If I tell you that that milk carton on the floor doesn’t have a bottom, you can’t know if it actually has one or not until you check for yourself. And you won’t know if it has a back side that you don’t see now. Or she doesn’t. You guess. Assume, you can’t be sure. Most likely, the whole world consists of small pixels, and it is true – atoms, matter. Even we have them. This means that if we are them, they are us and we interact with each other without even though, instinctively, and just as instinctively, the atoms rearrange themselves and create the world behind the box, under the cup and the world behind us, for those who look behind us. For my perception, my back is not there, it is empty, but I understand that there was a wall there yesterday, and turning around, I see that it really is there. At that moment, matter was transformed into something that we took for granted. As a given, the world around me and those around me has been created, because they fall into my world of perception. Imagine that you have never been to my house, but when you visit me, you see my house, its walls, floor, chairs, wallpaper. All this is the effect of an illusion, an effect which has been conveyed to you by the impulses of my brain. Yes. When you enter, you already know where my kitchen is and where the bathroom is, if you have never been to my house. This is because I have sent you information that you may need and have created a floor underneath you so that you can move around. For both of us, there is that world that we can catch with particles of the eyes, perception, feelings. While we both look ahead there may be no house behind us, or maybe there is, because someone from below is currently looking at our house and watching. But in general, those people are also not there until we enter into interaction with them. Confusing, I know, but such is the world. A person can see the shell of the house from below, but never see the whole picture inside. And inside the house a stingray, space or a drunken raccoon can live.
But in space itself, things are quite different. We are forever falling in all directions, with the entire galaxy. We are a perfectly even circle that spins in place, like a top, but when viewed from above, it will seem that we are standing still. Whether the world is falling or not, it does not depend on us. Somewhere out there, beyond the galaxies, there are other aliens who are alien to see the near, and they create the far, with thoughts and actions. They will never reach our system, but will always be the ones that cause our galaxy to fall. They, trying to look at us, hide us from ourselves. That is, looking at our galaxy, the galaxy disappears from their field of view. It’s like with worms, when you cry, and out of the corner of your eye you see worms swimming in front of you, right in the air, and trying to concentrate on them, they disappear from below, then from above, and sometimes even forever. Try pushing the bearing with a needle, the ball will roll, and the needle will slip, in the wrong place. You will not be able to pierce the ball. How their eyes cannot catch and pierce us, forcing us to fall down all the time. Maybe that’s why they can’t find us, they just don’t see us.
If you watch the clock strike at the same time every year, you can see a fairy moving the hands of the clock between five and six. And if at this moment you put pressure on them, then the fairies will fly out of them, and the clock will never work again, no matter how many masters watch it. Of course, if watchmakers have pet fairies that they keep in matchboxes, the fairies will only be happy to help. They cannot pass them, no matter how powerful the fairy is. Fairies like to hold the clock hands so they don’t go backwards. They do not like to remember the past, because one tick back, and the fairies will become dumber than one tick ahead. In order not to learn everything all over again, the fairies pump their muscles to maintain the order of time, we keep the clock in check.
When you get underground, after death, in no case do not laugh at the dead, especially at yourself. The lord of the underworld does not like it when someone rejoices in death and jokes about it. After all, death is his wife. They catch souls with a fishing rod and lock them in baskets to hang on clothespins over the fire. They like to torture them and drink cognac from the blood of a mule and twenty-year-old virgins. Death releases souls, sometimes to hunt them, thrust a spear and quarter them. Remember, if you are told to run out and try to get to the surface, to your friends, then shake your head and punch Death in the eye and you will be caged forever and never released. It is so right, it is better to burn than to burn and be full of holes, it is better to sit forever whole than to consist of mosaics. Once Napoleon made a mistake, punched him in the eye and ran out, decided that he would have time to get out, through the hatch on the roof of Satan’s stagecoach, but no such luck. In one big step, Vladyka took it out and released it through a meat grinder, smeared it on a baguette, put a huge pile of poisonous musk on top, and gave the Cerberus for dinner. Cerberus chewed it, then flushed it down the toilet, from there Napoleon got on the table to the vampire worm, and the vampire worm, having flushed it into his own, got a pedophile rabbit who loved the French for lunch. For seven years, he raped a baguette with minced meat, until children began to grow out of Napoleon and tore open his stomach, eating the insides from the inside. After hatching, the children began to sculpt different types of buildings from Napoleon, beat him against the walls, drown him, stir with acid, fry on a fire and stuff the intestines of dead rats into him to create a stuffed animal. Napoleon then realized that it was better not to try. And when he saw that there was no way out of the hatch at all, and there sits the daughter of Death – he was disappointed that he died. The daughter was even scarier than the mother. She came down exactly one week after that incident to play with the prisoners with dolls. They especially liked to pull out their arms and legs, and put their heads back in place, laugh, and then smear it on the diamond floor with a paver. Spread on cucumber, and throw to be eaten by chickens. They pecked at him for seven hundred years, for they were eyeless. And they completely forgot how to use the mouth. From time to time they went off to read books, develop, but returned. You can’t read without eyes and books. Therefore, the daughter of Death closed the chickens in a cage with Napoleon until they learned to find the Frenchman by the smell of “fear”. And the Lord of Darkness immediately released the children through a meat grinder and made sausages and kupaty, and eats them, roasting them on a fire, drinking coffee out of pity,
General Pook lives on Jupiter. It was he who created Jupiter with his fart, and hurricanes are still raging there, because he cannot stop.
And on Mercury there lives a naughty beast, he jumps out of the ground and hits the rover on the ear, and goes down. The rover turns around for two years to see who hit it, and it slams from the other side. So the rover could not stand it, pulled out the cables from itself and hung itself on its hands, tying around its neck supplying power to the motherboard, and died.
Do you think everything is so good on Saturn? No, of course, what else did they think of me here! There, by the way, right between, porpoises live and experiment on themselves by inserting the hearts of stones. Yes, the stones there are real creatures. Only pigs are stupid. That is how they all killed themselves, because one of the stones contained the swine coronavirus. They became infected from each other and died from lack of air. And then they got up, burst out laughing, and realized that they didn’t breathe any air at all. Relaxed immediately. In addition, in a vacuum, even the blood did not fly out of their body. Why, they didn’t even have blood circulating through their veins. If, once it goes through their veins, they will die, because their hearts are made of stone and will explode from vibration. Therefore, they do not fly to where there is another gravity.
Only on Earth it was boring to live. Fleas interfered all the time. They bit the head when it was necessary to do something grandiose, for example, once, there was one detail left to complete a twenty-year experiment with a portal to another world, when suddenly a flea flew up, bit a person on the head, and he is a sensitive kind of person – dropped the tool and shorted out all the controls and reset the settings. Twenty years to the cat in the ass!
That flea was later found, handcuffed and put in jail. His convicts are still kicking him. But if you kick in the wrong place, she will bite off her head, it will itch, that it will be possible to pull out the brain through the skull. That’s how severe itching comes from his bite. One prisoner was even cut off his head and placed in a three-liter jar. Bloch fought and fought, but could not get on his hairy head. And one had the nerves removed. The third one could not stand it at all and bit off the head of a flea himself, the first one beats the one who is not afraid to lose, he thought. Only the flea was armor-piercing. With a wave of his hind legs, he cut it in half. Now this convict walks on a gurney, carrying his soulmate on a leash, on a skateboard.
In the bathroom of every Neanderthal, a soul snake lives, right in a tiny cave. She swallows them and turns them into blood cells in her body.
“If you don’t run through your veins, you will die,” the snake said, having once swallowed a man, “they will trample you, smear you on the floor, and you will be stuck here forever.” He ran and ran, cherishing the hope that one day he would break out of the endless circle of the treadmill.
So, one family came to visit a Neanderthal, went to the toilet, the shower hissed, turned into a snake and swallowed the guests. Do you think she stopped after she swallowed the first one, no, she crawled out of the bathroom, found people sitting in the kitchen, grabbed her leg, and dragged them into her. They hit her body at that moment, knocked them down, put on the suits of leukocytes and erythrocytes, and began to drive the whip from behind. Neanderthals and their guests fled, their legs became muscular, their arms powerful. When a blockage formed in the veins, and an old red blood cell ran across the road to die, they hit it, and it shattered into pieces and died, somersaulting on the ceiling.
And, here, when two o’clock in the morning comes on earth and the minute is equal to three, inanimate, soulless objects come to life all over the universe. The meteorite rearranges itself into the oncoming lane, drunk from lack of air, and flies into the planet, killing peacefully sitting squirrels that are roasting kupaty on a fire. Plush bears go out to fight with plush elephants for a new habitat, in the upper part of Vanya’s boy’s box, so as not to smell the feet and look at the patterns on the butt of other toys. And a zebra, stuffed with iron teeth, hunts a lion to eat him for breakfast. That is why sometimes plush toys lose weight. Other predatory animals gut them, eat the insides and protect them back, because every Sunday of the week, they go to needlework lessons. From a very early age. The Kuiper belt, at exactly two hours three minutes, sees how the Snowman resorts to it to twist it at the hip and lose weight. The pens, meanwhile, jumping out from under the bedside table, from the closet, from schoolchildren’s briefcases, go out into the birch grove, peel off the bark, and inside they write stories, stories about what they have long wanted to tell. The trees don’t mind. This is how they learn to speak and get smart. Sometimes, a chainsaw comes to them and cuts a book out of them to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable. to secretly hide in the library under an unknown pseudonym. This is how stories get into the world of people and into the minds of the reasonable.
Pillows, animated by the magic of numbers, sometimes throw people to the floor, they hit their heads and wake up, they see those, that’s when the pillows choke them, and they die. People then find the reason that they forgot to roll over during sleep and suffocated, but only we know that the pillow suffocated them.
Socks wake up and go to play catch-up, and the most advanced ones can grow out of themselves as a clone person and buy something they like in the night shop. There have even been cases of socks growing on the ears of a person so that the ears do not freeze when ghosts blew into their ear.
Also at night, dead flies at the windowsill, beetles on the ground, mosquitoes and worms come to life. They go to their relatives and drink sugar syrup or milk with them. Mosquitoes try to get blood, but no matter how long they drink it from a cow, blood drips from their proboscis, because they do not have a belly. So, a million mosquitoes that came to life that night sat on one cow and drank it, drying it to the bone. And the desiccated, dead cow also came to life and began to eat, believing that she was still alive, until in the morning she fell to the ground and died again.
The hoses from under the water sting the animals, and the balls roll up the mountain to see what is behind that mountain. Decorative scarecrows come to life to see the world, leave the estates and plunge into the wild lands. They communicate with relatives who are still alive, adopt their habits, and return back, satisfied with their lives. The toy cars come to life to shuffle and carry little non-living creatures wherever they are asked to. And a toy created for a teleporter suddenly becomes a real teleporter, and a predator that should kill begins to kill animals in the forest. They come to life the way they were meant to be. The ball flies into the sky and sees space, and the Barbie toy goes to Monaco, to the podium to show that she is also a model. Cars leave for the Grand Prix, and planes, having forgotten that the war has passed, are sent to war and bomb the fields. Refrigerators eat food from other refrigerators, and TVs, not seeing anything on their own, watch programs on another TV. So, they also hold sessions, putting on the same films, and eat popcorn and chew gingerbread.
And when playing games, in particular in a casino, money can be withdrawn directly from your mouth by linking your biometrics in that casino by touching the monitor. Forensic experts work behind the monitor, they quickly read the patterns, and the artists draw a picture, hang it in front of the cell in the bank. And if you program a closet, you can receive money there. And in some cases, by reaching out to the monitor, you can get into the bank where gremlins walk and write out checks for winnings, approaching them and demanding your winnings – they will brazenly look at you, and when they see a piece of paper, they will give you your winnings in a small a box that, once in our world, will dissolve in three minutes. And only at night you can do this, exactly until four in the morning.
If a person does not sleep at four in the morning, then the magical hyena that came out of the book introduces into their brain that all living things have disappeared, that is, they have become inanimate, and their sock is still lying by the bed, and the books are on the shelves. In fact, they won’t be there. They will be an exact copy of the real ones while they are resting somewhere out there. And after the expiration of time, they return to the attached place through the teleporter. If at this time a person takes a sock and puts it on and goes to work, then a real sock will form right on the person’s leg, which he will not even see. The bind teleport is faster than light. Quantum teleport at the molecular level.
And there are still in the world, teleports by voice, and by sight, and by light. When you look at the light, your gaze is attached to this very particle of light, and flies away along the ground. In a few seconds you are already in Australia or Japan. That is, you now looked at the quark, just as if it were a ping-pong ball, but this ball develops a speed of three hundred thousand kilometers per second, and it is the look that fell on this ball that will be the machine that will take you to the other side of the earth, and perhaps even to another planet. It is your piece of DNA, through which you can rebuild into yourself on the other side of the universe. For example, while you are sleeping and your gaze is quarked across the universes, while you put on your spacesuit and then press the teleportation device, your ping-pong ball has already reached the constellation of Aquarius. Or maybe she flew to another galaxy, and flies near Alpha Centauri. The fastest travel in the universe, until this quark becomes a real device for instantaneous teleportation. That is, people will save information about this particle, and whenever they want to be transported somewhere, they can be transported to any point in the universe. In a word, at the moments in which she flew, for example, she flew by Jupiter at some specific time, which means that at this specific time there will be a teleport binding, at a point in time. Then it may be at Pluto or some distant quasar, and all these moments will be in the teleportation machine. certain parts of the moment. And while you’re talking, a piece of a quark (your ping-pong) reaches the fifth galaxy. And you may already be in the farthest part of the universe. Even when you fly towards it, you will follow the quark.
through the universes if you program the teleporter to be where the photon of light is now. At this present moment.
And yet, behind the screen of your monitor there is another universe, the same exactly as ours. But there are people who work as clones and reflections, and they are paid money for this. They get up every day for work and wait for your reflection to be displayed from something. For example, when you are in a room with a mirror, the worker, on the other hand, will sit behind the mirror in your position, and will sit there – this is his job. He has a locker, with the same shoes, clothes, hair, and people who help them do their hair. If you wear pajamas, they wear pajamas to work too. When you sit in a car and see yourself in the reflection of the shopping center, then the employee is also going somewhere with you. And the driver, also a clone of the one who drives a car in our world. His driver is his job. And in the moments when they are not working and you are sleeping, they do personal business and sit with the family. They may seem to have an exact copy of your life, and yes and no. That is, it is the same when you reflect from something, but the most real when there is nothing to reflect. They eat, rest, heal, take a bath and cry. They are just as alive as we all are. Sometimes, in their free time, they buy legs, arms, head frames from behind, so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head. in their free time they buy legs, arms, head frames from the back so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head. in their free time they buy legs, arms, head frames from the back so that they don’t have to be with you every time. That is, they take an exact replica of your leg in the store and tie it with an invisible graviton to exactly replicate your sleepy moments of twitching your leg and head.
And there is a universe where people walk around in banana and tangerine peels. They go to bed right on the street, just covering themselves with a peel, and sleep like that until the morning. During the day, a banana grows out of their clothes, on the wall like bamboo, and in the morning they eat them. This is exactly what happens every day. So people got rid of hunger in all countries of the world. Because of their cheapness, the rich bought bananas and tangerines, ate and threw the peel into the street, from there the social services took the peel and distributed it to all the poor. They ate bananas and tangerines, pomegranates and even potatoes. They cut the stuffing and roasted it on the fire, shared it with others, and were happy. Of course, there were those who could not walk, they hung a peel over the bed, sweets grew from there and fell right into their mouths. You ask, how do they go to the toilet? No way. They don’t have what you and I have all the nutrients go into the body and they get rid of the waste. Everything is good for them. So, the sick could do without nannies for years, and live on only tangerines and bananas.
