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They were enough to fill up her life and her heart. They had to be.
Chapter Four (#ulink_f29a4f39-0d30-5cb8-b2c6-b1e5f6d78027)
Edmond had intended to stay after the ceremony only long enough to be polite. He’d assumed his presence might be uncomfortable for Melissa.
Instead, she was friendly toward him, while Dawn eagerly joined the red-haired flower girls at the buffet table in an area connecting the kitchen and den. He was glad he’d brought her. His niece could use a change of scenery to take her mind off visiting her mom in jail.
Worse might lie ahead for Barbara. Edmond tried not to dwell on that disturbing prospect. He needed today’s change of pace as much as Dawn.
“You and your housemates are wonderful cooks,” he told Melissa as they waited in line. Delicious smells wafted from the array of dishes, while a separate table displayed a three-tiered white cake decked with blue and red berries and, on top, a large red heart. Plates of cookies surrounded it, presumably for those too impatient to wait for dessert.
“The food is mostly Karen’s doing. I’m the baker. I can’t take credit for the wedding cake, though,” she added. “I’m the cookie lady.”
“I’m impressed by anything people do in a kitchen, other than set fires.” Growing up, Edmond had learned the basics, but rarely cooked.
“When we moved into the house, the five of us voted to take turns, each fixing dinner for a week. That didn’t last,” Melissa admitted. “Now we all pitch in or go our own ways.”
“The kitchen must have been upgraded.” From where they stood, Edmond noted gleaming new appliances.
“Karen remodeled after her mother died last year,” Melissa said. “She didn’t change the basic shape of the room, though. You still have to perform the limbo to get into the pantry.”
“So she inherited the place. I was wondering why she bought a house here, considering the smell. Although the scenery is striking.” Sliding glass doors offered a view across the patio and rear yard to the gray-and-green estuary. “What’s the layout—any bedrooms downstairs?” While he didn’t expect a tour of the place, Edmond was curious about the sleeping arrangements.
“Lucky has a small suite through there.” She indicated a doorway on the far side of the den. “Karen, Zora, Anya and I have bedrooms upstairs.”
“Except now Rod’s taking Anya’s place,” he muttered, half to himself.
Melissa ducked her head. “I keep forgetting.”
“Won’t that be awkward, having a guy upstairs with the ladies?”
In a low tone, she confided, “He and Karen have become close. I hope that won’t blow up in our faces, but she seems happy, and he’s a solid guy underneath the kidding.”
“Yes, I got that impression.”
As Edmond filled his plate at the serving table, he recalled his intention of cultivating new acquaintances. There were a lot of people here, and he supposed he could chat them up, but he’d much rather spend the afternoon in Melissa’s company.
Also, he suspected many of the guests, aside from those he’d already met, were from out-of-town. The father of the bride was busy tending to his wife, who moved stiffly with the aid of a cane. Jack was introducing his friends to a fiftyish woman dressed in knock-your-eyes-out Caribbean colors. Edmond had heard that Jack’s mother lived in Haiti and raised money for charities there.
He decided to forget duty for one day. Aside from keeping an eye on Dawn, of course. She and the two older girls had gone outside to eat at the patio table. Before they closed the glass door behind them, Dawn had sent Edmond a questioning gaze. He nodded his approval. If the girls didn’t mind the smell, more power to them.
“I’m glad she’s found playmates,” he said, following Melissa to a well-worn couch. “She tends to be shy, especially with new people. Jack’s nieces seem outgoing.”
“Except around their stepfather,” she murmured.
Edmond didn’t spot Vince Adams or his wife in the den, although they’d been at the head of the buffet line. He assumed the couple had carried their plates into the dining room, where some of Melissa’s housemates had put back the dining room table and set it immediately after the ceremony. That suited him fine. No matter how important the Adamses might be as potential donors, Edmond was in no mood for apple-polishing, especially to a guy who’d publicly humiliated his stepdaughter.
“You’re good with Dawn.” Melissa set her plate on the coffee table.
“I try.” He stared moodily at his food. “Let’s hope I do better with her than I did with my sister. I wish I understood where I went wrong.”
“Why do you blame yourself for her problems?” she asked.
“When we were young and Dad was on the road, Barbara used to confide in me about everything, value my advice, follow me around. But when she hit adolescence, I was commuting to college so I couldn’t be there for her. She began acting out, cutting school, skipping her homework assignments.”
“Many teenagers rebel to a degree,” she pointed out.
“Sure, but then she ran off with Simon. I should have done more to stop her.” It had been only a few months after their marriage. “She was sixteen. We could have gone to the police.”
“That was your parents’ decision, not yours,” she reminded him. “And she did get legally emancipated after Dawn’s birth.”
“I can’t shake the sense that I let her down. Did she mention why she’d been so eager to leave home?” While Edmond knew Simon could be charming and manipulative, surely his sister hadn’t been totally blind to the man’s faults.
“I sensed she was angry, but not necessarily at you. She didn’t say anything specific, though.” Flecks of green stood out in Melissa’s hazel eyes. “I tried to talk to her after she had the baby, about planning a future for herself and Dawn, but she pushed me away. Edmond, why is she in jail? That sounds serious.”
“It is.” Months of holding his emotions in check, of standing strong for everyone around him, yielded to the relief of confiding in a person he trusted. “That jerk Simon talked her into driving the getaway car for a robbery.”
“I can’t believe she’d do something that stupid.” Melissa set down her fork, giving him her full attention.
Around them, people mingled and chatted. Edmond saw Karen glance their way as if about to approach, but he shook his head. She went in another direction. He decided he liked that woman. “According to Barbara—after the fact—Simon claimed he owed money to a criminal gang and that if he didn’t pay up, they’d kill him.”
“Was it true?”
“I have no idea.” Either way, that didn’t excuse the man’s crimes, nor Barb’s. “During the robbery, he and a policeman traded gunfire, and Simon was fatally wounded. The officer escaped injury, mercifully.”
That was fortunate both for the officer and for Barbara. Under California law, the district attorney could have charged her with murder just for being a participant in the robbery. However, perhaps doubting that a jury would convict her of murder under the circumstances, the D.A. had only charged her with robbery.
“Your sister was waiting in the getaway car?” Melissa asked.
“That’s right.” She hadn’t witnessed the shooting, but she’d heard gunfire. “Simon staggered into the passenger seat. While she was arguing that they should go to a hospital, he died.”
Melissa shook her head. “How awful.”
“I can’t spare any regrets for that man,” Edmond said bitterly. “He ruined my sister’s life—with her compliance.”
“What about Dawn? Where was she during all this?”
“She’d gone to the beach with a friend’s family.” The shootout had occurred on a Saturday, while his niece was out of school. “The police contacted my father and stepmother, who called me. I picked her up and broke the news.” He clenched his fists at the memory.
Edmond had built up to the subject gradually during the drive from the beach, telling his niece as much as he’d learned of the robbery and assuring her that her mother was unharmed but under arrest. Dawn had taken the news of Simon’s death solemnly, her response hard to read.
Then, tearfully, she’d asked, “Is it because I was mad at him?”
Shocked, Edmond had assured her that Simon’s death wasn’t her fault. “Neither you nor I nor anyone else has magical powers,” he’d told her, hoping that was the right thing to say. “This has nothing to do with you. Why were you mad at him?”
“He yelled at me for leaving my toys out.”
Edmond hadn’t been sure a seven-year-old understood what death meant, but later, after he’d hired a therapist, she’d insisted that Dawn did understand. Grieving was a complex process, she’d added. As Dawn entered new phases of development, she’d revisit the loss. For now, she needed to feel secure that the other people she loved weren’t going to disappear from her world, too.
Unfortunately, Edmond couldn’t promise that about Barbara. He could only do his best to hold Dawn’s world together. Given his poor track record with his sister, he sometimes panicked over the missteps he might make.
Melissa touched his arm, a soothing gesture that brought him back to this comfortable room and cheerful gathering. “Dawn’s been through a lot this past year,” she said. “So have you and Barbara.”
“It’s been rough.” He sketched the rest of the sorry tale. After Barb’s arrest, a judge had granted bail, and she and Dawn had moved in with his father, Mort, and stepmother, Isabel, a retired nurse’s aide. During the trial, the grandparents had helped supervise the little girl, with frequent visits from Edmond until the jury had come back with the verdict two weeks ago. The jurors had convicted his sister of robbery and related charges. “Her sentencing is Monday afternoon.”
She blinked. “The day after tomorrow?”
“That’s right.” Edmond had already arranged to take the day off work to be there for moral support. Barb’s defense attorney, Joseph Noriega, had submitted a sentencing memorandum requesting leniency. By now the judge also had a probation report and the prosecutor’s recommendation. Edmond suspected they’d be less favorable.
Melissa’s hand cupped his. “What kind of sentence is she facing?”
“Minimum, a year in county jail plus probation.”
“And the maximum?”
Noriega had warned them to prepare for a longer term, to be served in state prison. “I’m trying not to dwell on it. Let’s wait till we know for sure.”
“How can the judge separate her from her little girl any longer than necessary?” Melissa asked.
“She’s the one who chose to break the law.” As an attorney, Edmond was a sworn officer of the court, and he understood the legal perspective. “If Simon had lived, she might have negotiated a deal based on testifying against him. But that’s not possible now.”
The prosecutor had had no difficulty winning a conviction. The jury had reached a verdict in three hours, which was lightning speed, considering that they’d also had to elect a foreman, fill out paperwork and review multiple counts during that time.
Melissa returned to her main concern. “You said she’ll be in jail at least a year. What are the arrangements for Dawn?”
“That reminds me, I’d better check on her. I’ll tell you in a minute.” Before he could rise, however, Edmond observed his niece entering with the other girls, then sliding the glass door shut behind them. Tiffany shepherded the little band into the kitchen with their empty plates and glasses.
While the youngsters were out of earshot, he said, “My Dad and Isabel indicated they’d take her, with my assistance. But that’s not settled.”
“What do you mean?” Worry suffused Melissa’s expressive face. She’d always been empathetic, and he recalled how she used to love holding Dawn on her lap and paging through picture books with the little girl.
Had that been a factor in her change of heart about having children? Later, he’d tried to figure out how she could have changed her opinions so dramatically without his awareness, and perhaps her relationship with Dawn had been a clue. But it wasn’t enough to explain her sudden shift.
How ironic that he was now forced to step in as a substitute parent of sorts. “While Barb was preparing for trial, she was afraid that if she were convicted, the authorities might put Dawn in foster care,” he answered.
“That would be horrible!”
“Yes.” It didn’t take an expert in child psychology to understand how traumatic that would be for everyone. “Barb wanted to assign temporary guardianship to Isabel and Dad, but they were too tied up with Dad’s medical issues to go to family court with her.”
“Medical issues?”
“Skin cancer.” He explained briefly that his father had undergone treatment and tests now showed him to be cancer-free. Then he continued, “Appointment of a guardian requires a judge’s approval.” Nearly hysterical with fear for her daughter’s well-being as the trial date approached, Barbara had begged Edmond to take emergency guardianship himself.
“What did you do?” Melissa watched him intently.
“I agreed, even though I’m obviously not the ideal person to raise a little girl.” That was an understatement for a guy who lacked paternal instincts, had failed miserably in protecting his sister, and lived in a one-bedroom apartment.
However, he refused to abandon his family. He’d promised in court to take responsibility for Dawn, and he meant it. If necessary, he’d move in with his parents for a year and commute an hour each way from their home in Norwalk, in eastern Los Angeles County. It would be uncomfortable and inconvenient, but he’d do it for Dawn and for Barbara.
“Dawn said she was staying with your parents,” Melissa reminded him.
“She and Barb were already living there.” He blew out a long breath. “We all agreed it’s vital that she have what her therapist calls ‘continuity of care.’”
“I’m glad she has a counselor,” Melissa said. “That doesn’t substitute for being with her mom, though. Why couldn’t Barb stay out on bail until she’s sentenced?”
“She’s considered a flight risk.” The Mexican border was only a couple of hours’ drive away.
“That’s too bad.” Melissa regarded him with a warmth he’d missed—a lot. “Edmond, what you’re doing for Dawn, protecting her so she won’t go into foster care, it’s wonderful.”
“I would never let her be yanked away from her family.” To him, it was the only decent way to behave. He’d been blessed with many gifts, including loving if flawed parents, educational opportunities and an aptitude for the law. Surely there was a reason he’d also been given enough strength to stand tall when others needed him. Though it was a relief to express the situation openly to someone, without fear of judgment.
He’d done his best to be there for Melissa after her parents’ deaths. And he’d counted on her being there for him, too.
“Did it occur to you that you might have paternal instincts after all?” she asked.
“I’m sorry?”
“You have a big heart,” she said gently. “Big enough to love more than one person. You’d make a wonderful father.”
He stiffened. Just when he’d believed she understood him, she was viewing his confidence through the lens of her own wishes, trying to convert him into her idea of what a man ought to be. “I’m not her father, I’m her guardian.”
“I’ve seen how you act with her,” Melissa said. “You’ve changed these past three years.”
Not that much.
This past year had been one blow after another. Edmond had rarely had a chance to replenish his inner strength with quiet hours to read, visit museums and travel. The worst part had been enduring these crises alone. That was, in part, why he’d opened up to Melissa today. To his disappointment, her attitude reminded him that she didn’t accept him for himself, only as a wish-fulfillment fantasy.
It was important to clear up that misunderstanding. “Don’t interpret my actions to suit your assumptions. My views on fatherhood haven’t changed.”
“Are you sure you have an accurate perception of yourself?”
How insulting. “While I respect your decision to have children in whatever manner you choose, you shouldn’t cast me in the role of father-knows-best simply because it’s convenient.”
Her mouth tightened. “That’s not what I was doing.”
Instinctively, he echoed her earlier words. “Are you sure you have an accurate perception of yourself?”
“Don’t be arrogant!” As she leaned forward to pick up her plate, a startled expression crossed her face and her hand flew to her midsection.
“Is anything wrong?” Although she didn’t appear distressed, Edmond hadn’t forgotten the bout of nausea in her office.
Melissa shook her head, blond tendrils quivering. “They’re scooting around in there.”
“You can feel the babies?” She’d mentioned being due in December, he recalled, and that was many months off. “How big are they?”
“Four or five inches apiece.” A smile bloomed, and wonder touched Melissa’s eyes. “They’re small, but I can tell when they’re active.”
While the gestation and birth process was miraculous, Edmond couldn’t pretend to share her enthusiasm. “Doesn’t it feel strange, having other people living inside you?”
