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In any case, making love with Patrick didn’t break the rules as far as Natalie was concerned. A twenty-nine-year-old woman had a right to find happiness with a single man, even if they were boss and secretary. And even if it might only last one afternoon.
“You did set a good example today, during the cruise,” she said. “The community loved what you said about Doctors Circle’s future plans. That’s why the pledges came rolling in.”
The luncheon outing aboard Patrick’s yacht had launched a nine-month-long Endowment Fund drive aimed at raising thirty million dollars, enough to put Doctors Circle on firm financial footing for years to come. The movers and shakers of Serene Beach, California, had responded by opening their checkbooks.
Most of them were aware that the yacht, Melissa, was named after the infant sister Patrick never knew. It was her loss from lung problems and prematurity that had inspired his parents, once they overcame poverty and rose to prominence in the business community, to establish a center to save other babies.
After the guests and crew left, Natalie and Patrick had sat on deck toasting their success with rum punch. They’d been exhilarated, energized and intensely attuned to each other after weeks of working twelve-hour days together.
She didn’t know what had finally overcome their inhibitions, and she didn’t care. She just wanted to stay here in his cabin forever and forget that the rest of the world existed.
“It was a great kickoff, thanks in large part to you.” Patrick stretched lazily. Although the August sun lingered outside, it was past seven o’clock.
“If only they could see you now.” Teasingly, Natalie traced a finger down the center of his chest. “On second thought, I’d rather keep you to myself.”
“You’re in a wonderful mood,” he said.
“You ought to be, too.”
“I am.” He pulled her tighter against him. “You know, I just got a terrific idea.”
“For the next fund-raiser?” Natalie asked.
“Something a little more personal.” Angling toward her, Patrick cupped the back of her head with his hand. He scanned her face as if trying to memorize every detail, and then his mouth claimed hers.
His kiss exploded with yearning. Natalie melted against him, yielding to his tongue’s demands and savoring the sensation of being held close.
When Patrick lifted his head, she kissed the V of his collarbone. “I think I figured out your idea.”
“Do you approve?”
“Utterly,” she said.
He reached into a drawer for more protection, and then he pushed her gently down against the sheet.
NATALIE AWOKE in darkness, filled with dismay. Her subconscious mind had finally registered what they’d done, and the likelihood that it would lead to disaster.
Patrick slept on his back, with one hand resting on her shoulder. Natalie brushed her cheek against it.
She knew his hands well. They were large hands, capable of carving the air in an expansive gesture or dashing his name across a document that granted medical services to a poor woman.
And her hands? They’d served plenty of hamburgers while she made her way through high school. They’d also signed a marriage license with a man who turned out to be an alcoholic, and a few years later they’d signed the divorce papers.
Her hands had written something else, too, an entry on her job application that hadn’t been completely honest. Natalie shuddered to think that Patrick might someday find out.
Well, he wasn’t going to. She’d let matters go way too far tonight, but there was still time to run damage control.
Quietly, she rose and dressed in her tailored slacks and sailor-style blouse. With the brush from her purse, she tucked her blond hair into its accustomed bun.
It was time to go, before Patrick awoke and realized what a mistake this had been. Or, worse, failed to realize it. The better he got to know her, the more likely it became that he would discover some unpleasant truths.
There was only one course to follow. At work, Natalie would be all business, signaling Patrick to keep his distance.
They’d pretend that their going to bed together never happened. At least they could still work together, sharing the closeness they’d developed over these past five years. And she’d hang on to her pride.
But she’d discovered a passion in herself that had lain dormant all her days. Even when she was married, she’d never felt more than passing pleasure. With Patrick, only with Patrick, did she truly come alive.
It hurt to know that she might never hold him again, but that was all right. Natalie could bear it, as long as she didn’t lose him entirely.
ON MONDAY Patrick had a headache. He knew it was partly from overindulging in rum punch the previous day and partly from listening to the construction work going on downstairs.
The East Wing, which housed the administration services and the radiology department, was one of three structures that made up Doctors Circle, along with the Birthing Center and the West Wing office building. Downstairs in the East Wing, space formerly rented by an outside pediatric clinic was being converted into an infertility center.
Wham-wham-wham! went something that sounded like a pile driver, although Patrick couldn’t imagine why such heavy equipment was needed. The pounding throbbed right through his brain.
He had a lot of work to do today, catching up on paperwork and planning for the next big fund-raising event, an Oktoberfest celebration. Yesterday’s donations, while generous, paled before the amount of money needed to cushion the center against the sort of financial upheaval that had nearly swamped it a few years earlier.
Patrick fumbled in his drawer for an aspirin. No such luck. Wouldn’t you know that in a medical office the last thing you could find was a simple pain remedy?
He punched the intercom. “Nat? Could you come in here, please?”
“Yes, sir,” she replied crisply.
A moment later, Natalie entered his office. The breezy woman from the yacht had vanished. Today, her hair was pinned back and her body hidden beneath a trim navy-and-white suit with a red scarf at the throat.
Patrick peered at her blearily across his broad oak desk. At the moment, he was in no shape to try to renew their camaraderie. “I was hoping you had an aspirin,” he managed to say. “I can’t think straight.”
“Sorry. I’m not authorized to dispense medication.”
He insisted on strict rules, but not that strict. “You don’t need an M.D. to hand out aspirin.”
Natalie smiled. “That was a joke. Guess you’re not in the mood, huh? Hold on, I’ll get you some.”
“Doesn’t it bother you?” he asked. “I mean, World War III going on downstairs?”
“The assistant head of accounting and the chief radiologist came in to complain.” Clearly, they hadn’t fazed Natalie, who looked cool and collected as usual. “I reminded them that they used to beef about the noisy kids from the pediatric clinic. At least this is temporary. Hold on.”
She ducked out, leaving an image of angelic freshness imprinted on Patrick’s brain. Despite the fact that his head felt swollen to the size of a basketball, he took pleasure in his secretary’s appearance.
For years he’d tried not to notice her bright blue eyes and lively face. Especially he’d struggled to ignore the figure that, despite the cloaking effect of her tailored suits, was nothing short of delicious.
Patrick had never expected to breach the unspoken barrier between director and employee. He knew himself, and getting involved with any woman, particularly one he worked with, was a losing proposition. It also appeared that he might be taking advantage of his position, something he had no intention of doing.
Yet their lovemaking had surpassed anything in his experience. Even with a blinding headache, he was ready—well, almost ready—for a rematch, if only he could figure out what to do about his aching morals.
The door squeaked as Natalie returned with two pills and a cup of water. “Here you go.” She handed them over.
When their hands touched, an awareness of her heat and vibrancy pulsed through Patrick. Against his will, desire quickened his blood. “I feel better already.”
“You haven’t taken them yet.”
“I don’t really need to—” Wham-wham-wham! went the downstairs equipment, dispelling his objections. Up went the cup and down went the pills. “What on earth are they doing?” he asked when he could speak again.
“I think they’re chipping away some tile,” Natalie said.
Patrick should have known that, since he’d been involved in every step of the remodeling plans. But right now, with the sight of Natalie stirring male hormones into a frenzy, he couldn’t recall much of anything.
He needed to find out how she felt. “About yesterday…” he began.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Now, I’d better get back to my desk.” She turned to leave.
“Nat!”
“Yes, sir?”
“First of all, stop calling me sir.”
“Yes, Doctor,” she said.
Patrick regarded her in confusion. He was much better at formulating goals and taking command than at reading people, especially the people closest to him. “We need to discuss where we stand.”
Natalie took a deep breath, a movement that swelled her generous breasts. Patrick’s hands still retained an impression of their softness, centered by the stiff arousal of her nipples. Oh, he was sure in control of himself today, wasn’t he, he thought wryly.
“I was hoping we wouldn’t have to talk about last night,” she said.
Patrick respected her privacy, but he felt he owed her. “Please, have a seat. If I offended you last night, I apologize.”
“You didn’t. Not at all.” Natalie perched on the edge of an upholstered chair. “It was just as much my fault.”
“I’m your employer, which makes the responsibility all mine.”
“Look, Dr. Barr.” She leveled her blue gaze at him, to devastating effect. He wanted her so much he could hardly breathe. “Let’s pretend the incident never happened.”
“What incident?”
“You and me…on the boat!” Natalie gave an angry little bounce on her chair.
“You’re referring to our lovemaking as an incident?” For Patrick, the experience had been delirious. And, of course, a huge error in judgment.
“I’m being discreet,” Natalie said. “Which is a quality we both lost on your boat, along with our clothes.”
“I agree,” he said reluctantly. “Nevertheless—”
“The point is, we’re simply not suited to each other.” Natalie had retreated behind a mask. “What happened was great, but it was a one-time thing.”
Patrick knew he ought to feel relieved. Her practical attitude meant they could get on with their work, which was what mattered, but he was oddly reluctant to let her go. “We should discuss this over dinner.”
“In this town, if we ate dinner together, everyone would be gabbing about it,” Natalie said.
“We’ve eaten dinner together before,” he said.
“In the cafeteria with stacks of files between us. That doesn’t count.” His secretary stood up. “Look, Dr. Barr, there’s no point in arguing about it. Last night was—what do you call it?—an anomaly. Let’s go back to the way things were. No hard feelings, okay?”
Patrick arose also. His headache had faded, so now he was thinking clearly.
He respected her obvious regret about their liaison. He, too, knew it hadn’t been a good idea, even though a rebellious part of him desperately wanted to repeat the mistake. “You’re sure about this?”
“Yes, Dr. Barr.”
“I have one request,” he said.
“What’s that?” Natalie’s eyes narrowed.
“Call me by my first name,” Patrick said. “You haven’t called me Dr. Barr since the first six months we worked together. People would wonder about it.”
“Okay.” She looked relieved that he hadn’t asked anything more difficult. “Excuse me, I hear someone in the outer office. I’ll go check.”
She sounded like her old, cheerful self. Apparently she was glad he’d agreed not to pursue her.
Good. His brief insanity yesterday hadn’t spoiled their friendship or their highly effective working relationship. The last thing he wanted was for anything to interfere with saving the medical center for which his father had given his life.
NATALIE HELD OPEN Patrick’s door for Spencer Sorrell, chief of the Doctors Circle Well-Baby Clinic. Unlike the pediatric clinic that had vacated its offices downstairs and relocated to a new building down the street, his department was an official arm of the medical center, not merely a tenant.
He’d been grousing a lot lately, mostly about his contention that his department should get the newly remodeled offices. Spencer, who believed he should have become administrator, instead of Patrick, always found something to complain about.
He brushed by Natalie without a word, which didn’t surprise her. The senior pediatrician rarely spoke to her, and when he did, it was in a clipped, impersonal manner, as if she were a robot.
Spencer’s brother, Finn, was the town’s chief of police. Finn knew way too much about Natalie’s family and her past, and it appeared that he’d shared that information with Spencer.
Her cheeks burning, she sat behind her desk. She was angry at Spencer for his snobbery and angry at herself for caring.
Natalie knew better than anyone what an insignificant position she occupied in the social whirl of Serene Beach. That didn’t mean she lacked pride, only that she saw the world as it was.
Well, she didn’t aspire to high society, and she didn’t feel inferior to anyone, either. She only wished she could erase a few parts of her past.
In particular, she wished she hadn’t lied on her job application.
A MONTH LATER, on a Saturday morning, Natalie did something she hadn’t done since she was a little girl. She threw up.
Aware that her period was overdue, she drove to a pharmacy for a pregnancy kit. At home she followed the directions, and a few minutes later found herself staring in disbelief at the pink test strip.
How was this possible? Patrick had used protection both times during their lovemaking.
Yet she knew from working around pregnant women that condoms weren’t infallible. Sometimes they slipped or cracked. That must be what had happened, because she hadn’t slept with another man since her divorce.
A sense of wonder softened Natalie’s dismay. She was carrying Patrick’s child, a wonderful little boy or girl who’d be smart and sweet and loving.
Then she caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. She looked almost exactly like a photo of her own mother as a young woman.
