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“But nothing,” he cut her off. “You’re still his wife, and until this is over with and Sam is back on his feet, this is where you belong. After that, it will be up to the two of you to sort it out.”
She supposed Nate was right. Until the dissolution of their marriage was final and the documents filed at the courthouse, they were still legally married. If medical decisions had to be made on Sam’s behalf, she would be the one they turned to for answers. Besides, she wanted to be with him until she knew for certain he was going to be all right.
As they stepped off the elevator and turned to go through the Intensive Care Unit doors, Bria bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. Even though they were ending their relationship, she still cared deeply for him. She just couldn’t live with him anymore. Not after what he had done almost five months ago. She had needed him with her when she lost their baby, not his excuses for being unable to leave his stock-contracting company during a rodeo.
When they checked in at the nurse’s desk and were directed to Sam’s room, a tear slid down Bria’s cheek at the sight of him. There was a swollen lump at his right temple and an ugly bruise ran along his jaw, but to her relief his eyes were open, clear, and she knew immediately that he recognized her and Nate.
“Will you tell these people to give me my clothes back so I can get dressed and get out of here?” he asked impatiently.
“Well, some things never change,” Nate said, his smile reflecting the relief Bria felt. “I see that bull didn’t knock any of the orneriness out of your sorry hide.”
Bria approached the side of the bed and, unable to stop herself from touching him, gently brushed Sam’s dark blond hair from his brow. “Does your head hurt, Sam?”
He reached for her hand. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to be just fine. Just find me some clothes, I’ll get dressed and we can go home.”
“You really need to stay here for a day or two so they can take care of you and make sure you’re going to be all right,” she said, taking his hand. The moment her palm touched his, a deep sadness for what could have been tightened her chest.
“I’ll rest better in our bed at home,” he insisted. “Hell, I’ll even let you play nurse if that’s what it takes to get me out of here.”
Bria silently met Nate’s questioning gaze. Why did Sam keep insisting that they go home together? She had moved out of the ranch house three months ago. And if that hadn’t been enough to convince her that something was wrong, his concession to let her nurse him back to health was. Another reason she had felt there was no hope for their marriage was the fact that he had so much pride and self-confidence, he never made her feel as if he truly needed her for anything but making love. If he were himself, he wouldn’t even consider allowing her to “play nurse.”
“Sam, do you know what month this is?” she asked cautiously.
He frowned as if he thought she might be the one with problems. “It’s January. Don’t you remember, we celebrated New Year’s together just before I left to take a string of bulls to the event in Oklahoma. That was last week. Now, will you stop asking me questions and get me something to wear?”
Her heart felt as if it came up in her throat. The bull-riding event he mentioned had taken place six months ago.
“It’s getting late and besides, it’s a two-hour drive from here to the ranch. Why don’t you stay here tonight, then we’ll see if they’ll let you go home tomorrow morning.” Nate glanced at her again, then finished, “In the meantime, Bria and I will see what we can do about finding your clothes.”
“That sounds like a good idea, Sam,” she agreed. His obvious lack of memory bothered her and they needed to speak to the doctor about it right away. “Try to get some rest now. I’m sure we’ll be able to deal with everything in the morning.”
Sam didn’t look happy, but apparently deciding he wasn’t going to get his way, he finally nodded. “Nate, could you give me a minute with my wife?”
“Sure thing, bro.” Nate nodded toward the hall. “I’ll be down in the waiting room with the rest of the guys, Bria.”
When Nate left the room, Sam pinned her with his piercing blue gaze. “Are you doing all right? You didn’t get too upset, did you?”
Confused, she had no idea why he was asking about her welfare. He was the one who had the accident. “I’m doing okay. But why do you ask?”
“We’ve been trying to have a baby and when I called you from the bull riding up in Oklahoma the other night you told me you were going to get one of those early home-pregnancy tests at the drugstore,” Sam said, looking hopeful as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Were we successful, sweetheart? Are you pregnant?”
A cold sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach at his mention of their trying to start a family. He didn’t remember that she had not only become pregnant, she had miscarried in her seventh week. That had been almost six months ago and had ended up being the last straw in making her decision to file for divorce. Something was definitely wrong if he had no recollection of the past several months’ tumultuous events.
“No, I’m not pregnant,” she said, determined to talk to the neurologist as soon as possible. “Now, get some rest and I’ll be in a little later to check on you.”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Sam said, smiling. “We haven’t been trying that long. I’m sure you’ll be pregnant within another month or so.”
Unsure if she could respond without bursting into tears or reminding him that he would have had to be home more for her to become pregnant again, she simply nodded and turned to leave.
“Aren’t you going to give me a good-night kiss, sweetheart?” he asked, still holding her hand.
“I … uh … They won’t let me take down the bed rail,” she said, thinking fast. Kissing the tip of her index finger, she pressed it to his lips. “You need to get some rest so they’ll let you out of here soon. Try to get some sleep, Sam.”
He gave her a grin that never failed to cause her heart to skip a beat. “It’s going to be damn hard to do without you here beside me.”
She once again had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out that sleeping without her hadn’t seemed to be a problem for him when he was traveling from one rodeo to another with his livestock-contracting company. But as she stared down at his handsome face, she decided that now wasn’t the time to get into how lonely she had been without him, how many times she had asked him to cut back on the travel or to remind him that some time ago, he had reached his goal of being independently wealthy and didn’t need to work if he didn’t want to. His smile was playing havoc with her resolve and she needed to put distance between them in order to regain her perspective.
“Good night, Sam.”
Some things never changed, she thought as she walked down the hall to the waiting area. The sun rose in the east each morning. The ocean rushed to shore. And Sam Rafferty could make her knees wobble with nothing more than his sexy-as-sin smile.
“I really don’t see any other way around it, Bria,” Nate insisted, shaking his head. “You’re going to have to move back into the ranch house with Sam until he regains his memory.”
After finally getting a chance to talk to the doctor the day after the accident, Sam’s brothers and Bria had decided to get a good night’s sleep, then meet in the hospital cafeteria this morning for coffee as they discussed how best to handle Sam’s recovery.
Dr. Bailey had informed them that after staying in the hospital for observation the past forty-eight hours, Sam had been cleared to go home, but that he was suffering from post-concussion syndrome. That was the reason he had forgotten everything that had happened during the past six months. The doctor had assured them that the condition was most likely temporary and would clear up on its own in a few weeks with Sam recovering most, if not all, of his memory. But until then he might suffer with headaches and spells of dizziness and shouldn’t become overly stressed or worried. And that was what brought them together to discuss the current dilemma. It was imperative that someone be with him at all times until he was fully recovered.
“Can’t one of you stay with him?” she asked, looking at each man in turn. “Or maybe hire someone to oversee his care?”
“Hiring a nurse would be out of the question,” T.J. said, adamantly shaking his head. “That would just piss him off and traumatize some poor nurse after she figured out he’s like a grizzly with a sore paw when he can’t do things for himself.”
“Any one of us could arrange to stay with him, but that wouldn’t solve the problem of Sam not getting overly stressed,” Lane said as if weighing his words carefully. “He doesn’t remember that the two of you were in the process of getting a divorce, let alone that you moved out. And right now that’s information he doesn’t need to hear.” Being a professional poker player, the man was a master at strategy and logic. At the moment, he was doing a fine job of using both to wear her down.
“You know we would do it for Sam in a heartbeat, but we aren’t who he’s going to expect—or want—to be with him,” Ryder pointed out.
“But all my things are in Dallas,” she said, feeling trapped. “Don’t you think he’ll notice there are none of my personal effects in the ranch house? No clothes. No pictures of my family.”
She knew it was a weak argument, but how was she supposed to get on with rebuilding her life if she had to go back to Sugar Creek Ranch and all the problems that had caused her to leave in the first place? And especially when the man she would be living with didn’t remember that those problems had become insurmountable.
“We all have trucks and strong backs,” T.J. said, shrugging.
Jaron nodded. “We can have you moved back into the house in nothing flat.”
Sighing, Bria knew what they said made perfect sense, but it still didn’t make it any easier to accept defeat. She had just started to get used to the idea that she wouldn’t be living the life she had planned when she married Sam. For three years, she had envisioned herself as a stay-at-home wife and mother to the big family they had planned to have. Then after making the painful decision to leave him, she had to start thinking about re-entering the workforce and building a career.
“If I do this, it’s only temporary.” She felt as if she was taking a huge step back from the course she had set for herself three months ago.
“Got it,” Nate said.
“I’m starting a new job as a marketing consultant for one of the department stores in Dallas in a few weeks when they start to expand their women’s clothing line, and I can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity,” she stressed. “I’m lucky they allowed me the time to get the divorce finalized and my feet back under me before I start the job. I’m not going to ask for more.”
“I’m certain Sam will have his memory back by then,” Lane assured her.
“And I wouldn’t want everything moved back to the ranch,” she warned them.
“Just tell us what you want out of your apartment and we’ll make sure that it’s in the house by the time you and Sam get home,” Ryder said, smiling.
Nate checked his watch. “We’d better get moving. They’re going to discharge Sam in a couple hours. That doesn’t give us a lot time to get to Dallas and then out to the ranch before you two get there.”
“Just get my clothes and shoes out of the closet,” she said, resigned. “I’ll go into town and buy whatever else I need.”
“Are you sure that’s it?” Ryder asked, frowning. “Won’t you need your under—”
“Positive,” she interrupted. She wasn’t about to have them bring anything else from her apartment. The thought of five men going through her underwear drawer to pack a box of panties, bras and nightgowns to bring to the ranch just wasn’t the least bit appealing.
Giving Nate the address of her apartment in Dallas, she handed him her key. “After you get my clothes, go to the manager’s office and tell her to hold my mail until I can get back up that way in a week or so to pick it up.”
“How are you going to manage getting away from Sam for the hour-and-a-half drive to get up there?” Jaron asked, frowning.
“I’m sure Sam will have a follow-up appointment with the neurologist sometime within the next couple of weeks.” She gave them all a warning look as she started to get up. “If I’m going to stay with him until he’s recovered, one of you will be taking him to the doctor here in Waco while I drive to Dallas to see about my apartment and get my mail.” Before they could come up with an excuse to get out of it, she added, “You owe me that much.”
She wasn’t at all surprised when all five of them rose to their feet as she stood up. She had known them almost as long as she had known Sam, and from the moment they met her, they had all treated her as if she was the sister they never had. Hank Calvert had not only helped them straighten out their youthful problems and set them on a course to become highly successful, extremely wealthy men, he had taught them manners and respect, as well as instilled in them a strong sense of family.
“Thanks for doing this for Sam,” Nate said, giving her a brotherly kiss on the cheek. “We really appreciate it, Bria.”
When they walked her to the elevator, each man hugged her and assured her they would see her at the ranch. As Bria watched them walk toward the hospital’s main exit, she couldn’t help dreading the upcoming weeks. How on earth was she going to act as if everything was all right?
Sam was the same man who worked constantly, couldn’t take the time for them as a couple and was never there for her when she needed him most. She had tried to tell him time after time what was wrong with their marriage—the reasons she was so unhappy and why she wanted them to return to the way things had been between them before they married. But all he would say was that everything he did was for her and their future. She finally came to the conclusion that no matter how successful and wealthy he became, it was never going to be enough. When he waited an entire day before he came home to check on her after she lost their baby, she knew she couldn’t go on with the way things were. Even when she needed him, he put his business first. Now, she was going back to the same situation.
Stepping onto the elevator, she pushed the button for the third floor. No, nothing had changed. Sam was still an incurable workaholic and without a doubt her biggest weakness. He always had been and unfortunately for her, she suspected that would never change.
Two
As Bria steered her SUV onto the road leading up to the ranch house she had called home for the past three years, she glanced over at Sam. He hadn’t had much to say on the drive from the hospital and she wondered if he was trying to remember events from the past six months.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“I don’t remember us buying this SUV,” he finally said. “How long have we had it?”
“About three months,” she answered, deciding to be honest, but omitting the fact that she had bought the Explorer after she moved away from the ranch.
As of yet, Sam hadn’t asked a lot of questions after being told that he had a form of amnesia, and she was extremely grateful. She wasn’t in the habit of lying to anyone, especially to Sam. For one thing, their relationship had always been based on honesty and trust and although their marriage was at an end, it didn’t mean that had to change. And for another, not telling Sam the truth wouldn’t do a thing to help him regain his memory. The doctor had advised that it would be better to let Sam remember the events of the past six months on his own and not inundate him with facts that might prove stressful and possibly impede his recovery.
“It seems pretty nice,” he said, looking around the interior of the vehicle.
She nodded. “I like it.”
“Did we get it in anticipation of a baby?” he asked, turning to look in the back. “Looks like there should be plenty of room for a car seat.”
“No.”
That was the second time he had mentioned them trying to become pregnant, and it wasn’t any easier to hear this time than it had been the other night at the hospital. Every time she thought about the baby she had miscarried almost five months ago, her chest tightened from the crushing loss, as well as the hurt and anger she still felt at him for not being there for her when she had needed his strength and support. He had chosen work over her and the loss of their baby, and that was something she didn’t think she would ever be able to get past.
She jumped when Sam reached over and placed his index finger to her mouth to stop her from nibbling on her lower lip. “Sweetheart, if you don’t stop that, there won’t be anything left for me to kiss.”
Hoping to change the subject, she took a deep breath and nodded toward the house. “It looks like your brothers are here to visit with you while I go into town to pick up a few things.”
“I don’t need a damn babysitter,” he said, clearly irritated by the thought.
“This isn’t up for debate, Sam.” She shook her head. At times, his pride was one of the most infuriating things about him. “You’re not calling the shots here—I am. The doctor said someone needed to be with you at all times and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. You might as well accept that.”
“We’ll see,” he said, indicating that he wasn’t going to make things easy.
When she parked the SUV, Sam got out of the truck before she could tell him to wait until she made sure he was steady enough to make it to the house. Pointing to the five men on the back porch having a beer, he called, “Hey, grab me one of those.”
“Don’t you dare,” Bria warned them as she closed the driver’s door. “The doctor said no alcoholic beverages.” Coming around the front of the Explorer, she asked, “Do you feel all right? You aren’t dizzy, are you?”
“I’m not a hothouse flower, Bria,” he said impatiently. “Other than not being able to remember the past six months, I’m fine. I could have driven us home and I don’t see why I can’t have a beer. It doesn’t have that much alcohol in it.”
“Let me tell you something, Sam Rafferty,” she said sternly. “You’re going to do exactly what the doctor outlined in the release instructions or I swear I’ll—”
“Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you start pitching a hissy fit?” he interrupted, tenderly touching her cheek. The gesture and his wicked grin sent a tiny thrill straight up her spine, distracting her. She had missed his touch and playfulness. It wasn’t something she had seen a lot of since he started the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company right after they married. “As soon as my brothers leave I’ll show you what it does to me.”
Bria forced herself to ignore the tremendous yearning that coursed through her. Lovemaking had been the one area of their marriage that was everything it should have been—at least it had been when he wasn’t traveling from one rodeo to another. But just because Sam didn’t remember they were calling it quits was no excuse for her to forget and give in to the temptation of being held by him once again. Leaving had been hard enough the first time, making love with him now would only make it doubly so when he regained his memory and she had to leave again.
“There won’t be any of that, either,” she said as much for her own benefit as it was for his. “You’re not supposed to get overly excited or stressed.”
“Sweetheart, making love isn’t stressful,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked toward the back-porch steps. “It’s actually a great stress reliever, not to mention just plain fun.”
Her cheeks heated. “Shh. Your brothers will hear.”
“I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be all that shocked,” he teased. “I think they know married folks carry on like that.”
Sam suddenly stopped walking and she could tell that he was having a problem by the way he leaned on her for support. “Nate! I need help! Sam’s dizzy!”
Nate and the other four men were down the steps and at Sam’s side in a flash. “Let’s get you into the house, bro,” Nate said, lifting Sam’s arm to his shoulders to relieve the weight from Bria.
“I can make it on my own steam,” Sam insisted. A muscle along his jaw worked furiously, indicating that he was fighting with everything he had to will the vertigo away.
Shaking her head at his foolish pride, Bria let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m going to let you all watch him while I go to town to buy groceries and some other necessities.”
“You are coming back, aren’t you?” Nate asked a little too quickly.
“Why wouldn’t she come back?” Sam frowned. “She lives here. Where else would she go?”
“Yes, I’ll be back,” she promised, ducking from beneath his arm. “I assume you took care of everything while I was at the hospital picking up Sam?”
“All done,” T.J. answered.
“What’s going on?” Sam demanded, looking from her to his brothers. “If somebody doesn’t tell me what the hell’s going on, I’m going to—”
“You can be pretty darned ornery when you don’t feel good,” Nate said, shrugging.
“Bria might decide to take off for parts unknown if you don’t follow doctor’s orders,” Lane added. “If I were you, I’d do what she tells you to do.”
When Sam seemed to accept their explanation, Bria breathed a sigh of relief. Very many mistakes like the one Nate had just made and they would have to tell Sam the truth before he could remember it on his own.
“And don’t worry about our getting everything done,” Ryder said, checking his watch. “We took care of getting the livestock loaded and sent on to the Del Rio rodeo. I’m going to hit the road and head on down there now. I’m supposed to work this one anyway, and it won’t be a big deal for me to oversee the wranglers.”
