The Fortunate Mistress (Parts 1 and 2)

I left him, with my heart full of malice, grief, shame, and revenge. I did not want a good will to do any mischief; but I wanted an unlimited power to put all my wicked thoughts in execution.

Amy and I lay in our chamber, and the next morning at breakfast we were talking of what the servants (for there were thirteen of them in all, viz., two coachmen, four footmen, a groom, and postillion, two women cooks, two housemaids, and a laundry-maid, besides Isabel, who was my waiting-maid, and Amy, who acted as housekeeper) could say of the disturbance that was in the family. "Pho!" said Amy, "never trouble your head about that, for family quarrels are so common in noblemen's houses, both here and in England, that there are more families parted, both in bed and board, than live lovingly together. It can be no surprise to the servants, and if your neighbours should hear it, they will only think you are imitating the air of nobility, and have more of that blood in you than you appeared to have when you and your lord lived happily together."

The time, I own, went very sluggishly on. I had no company but Amy and Isabel, and it was given out among the servants of noblemen and gentry that I was very much indisposed, for I thought it a very improper time either to receive or pay visits.

In this manner I lived till the month was up that my daughter was to come again to my lord, for although I went morning, noon, and night, into his apartment to see him, I seldom had a quarter of an hour's discourse with him, and oftentimes one of his valets would be sent to tell me his lord was busy, a little before the time I usually went, which I found was to prevent my going in to him, but this was only when he was in an ill humour, as his man called it.

Whether my lord used to make himself uneasy for want of mine or other company, I cannot tell, but the servants complained every day, as I heard by Amy, that his lordship ate little or nothing, and would sometimes shed tears when he sat down by himself to breakfast, dinner, or supper; and, indeed, I began to think that he looked very thin, his countenance grew pale, and that he had every other sign of a grieved or broken heart.

My daughter came to him one Monday morning, and stayed with him in his study near two hours. I wondered at the reason of it, but could guess at nothing certain; and at last she went away, but I fixed myself so as to see her as she passed by me, and she appeared to have a countenance full of satisfaction.

In the evening, when I went in as usual, he spoke to me in a freer style than he had done since our breach. "Well, madam" (for he had not used the words "my lady" at any time after my daughter's coming to our house), said he, "I think I have provided for your daughter." "As how, my lord, pray will you let me know?" said I. "Yes," replied he, "as I have reason to think you will be sorry to hear of her welfare in any shape, I will tell you. A gentleman who is going factor for the Dutch East India Company, on the coast of Malabar, I have recommended her to; and he, on my character and promise of a good fortune, will marry her very soon, for the Company's ships sail in about twelve days; so, in a fortnight, like a great many mothers as there are nowadays, you may rejoice at having got rid of one of your children, though you neither know where, how, or to whom."

Although I was very glad my lord spoke to me at all, and more especially so at my daughter's going to be married, and settling in the Indies, yet his words left so sharp a sting behind them as was exceeding troublesome to me to wear off. I did not dare venture to make any further inquiries, but was very glad of what I heard, and soon bidding my lord goodnight, went and found Amy, who was reading a play in the chamber.

I waited with the greatest impatience for this marriage; and when I found the day was fixed, I made bold to ask my lord if I should not be present in his chamber when the ceremony was performed. This favor was also denied me. I then asked my lord's chaplain to speak to him on that head, but he was deaf to his importunities, and bade him tell me that I very well knew his mind. The wedding was performed on a Wednesday evening, in my lord's presence, and he permitted nobody to be there but a sister of the bridegroom's, and Thomas (now my lord's secretary or chief clerk), who was brother to the bride, and who gave her away. They all supped together after the ceremony was over in the great dining-room, where the fortune was paid, which was £2000 (as I heard from Thomas afterwards), and the bonds for the performance of the marriage were redelivered.

Next morning my lord asked me if I was willing to see my daughter before she sailed to the Indies. "My lord," said I, "as the seeing of her was the occasion of this great breach that has happened between us, so if your lordship will let me have a sight of her and a reconciliation with you at the same time, there is nothing can be more desirable to me, or would more contribute to my happiness during the rest of my life."

"No, madam," says he, "I would have you see your daughter, to be reconciled to her, and give her your blessing (if a blessing can proceed from you) at parting; but our reconciliation will never be completed till one of us comes near the verge of life, if then; for I am a man that am never reconciled without ample amends, which is a thing that is not in your power to give, without you can alter the course of nature and recall time."

On hearing him declare himself so open, I told him that my curse instead of my blessing would pursue my daughter for being the author of all the mischiefs that had happened between us. "No, madam," said he, "if you had looked upon her as a daughter heretofore, I should have had no occasion to have had any breach with you. The whole fault lies at your own door; for whatever your griefs may inwardly be, I would have you recollect they were of your own choosing."

I found I was going to give way to a very violent passion, which would perhaps be the worse for me, so I left the room and went up to my own chamber, not without venting bitter reproaches both against my daughter and her unknown husband.

However, the day she was to go on shipboard, she breakfasted with my lord, and as soon as it was over, and my lord was gone into his study to fetch something out, I followed him there, and asked him if he would give me leave to present a gold repeating watch to my daughter before she went away. I thought he seemed somewhat pleased with this piece of condescension in me, though it was done more to gain his goodwill than to express any value I had for her. He told me that he did not know who I could better make such a present to, and I might give it to her if I pleased. Accordingly I went and got it out of my cabinet in a moment, and bringing it to my lord, desired he would give it her from me. He asked me if I would not give it her myself. I told him no; I wished her very well, but had nothing to say to her till I was restored to his lordship's bed and board.

About two hours after all this, the coach was ordered to the door, and my daughter and her new husband, the husband's sister, and my son Thomas, all went into it, in order to go to the house of a rich uncle of the bridegroom's, where they were to dine before they went on board, and my lord went there in a sedan about an hour after. And having eaten their dinner, which on this occasion was the most elegant, they all went on board the Indiaman, where my lord and my son Thomas stayed till the ship's crew was hauling in their anchors to sail, and then came home together in the coach, and it being late in the evening, he told Thomas he should sup with him that night, after which they went to bed in their several apartments.

Next morning when I went to see my lord as usual, he told me that as he had handsomely provided for my daughter, and sent her to the Indies with a man of merit and fortune, he sincerely wished her great prosperity. "And," he added, "to let you see, madam, that I should never have parted from my first engagements of love to you, had you not laid yourself so open to censure for your misconduct, my next care shall be to provide for your son Thomas in a handsome manner, before I concern myself with my son by you."

This was the subject of our discourse, with which I was very well pleased. I only wished my daughter had been married and sent to the Indies before I had married myself; but I began to hope that the worst would be over when Thomas was provided for too, and the son my lord had by me, who was now at the university, was at home; which I would have brought to pass could my will be obeyed, but I was not to enjoy that happiness.

My lord and I lived with a secret discontent of each other for near a twelvemonth before I saw any provision made for my son Thomas, and then I found my lord bought him a very large plantation in Virginia, and was furnishing him to go there in a handsome manner; he also gave him four quarter parts in four large trading West India vessels, in which he boarded a great quantity of merchandise to traffic with when he came to the end of his journey, so that he was a very rich man before he (what we call) came into the world.

The last article that was to be managed, was to engage my son to a wife before he left Holland; and it happened that the gentleman who was the seller of the plantation my husband bought, had been a Virginia planter in that colony a great many years; but his life growing on the decline, and his health very dubious, he had come to Holland with an intent to sell his plantation, and then had resolved to send for his wife, son, and daughter, to come to him with the return of the next ships. This gentleman had brought over with him the pictures of all his family, which he was showing to my lord at the same time he was paying for the effects; and on seeing the daughter's picture, which appeared to him very beautiful, my lord inquired if she was married. "No, my lord," says the planter, "but I believe I shall dispose of her soon after she comes to me." "How old is your daughter?" said my lord. "Why, my lord," replied the planter, "she is twenty-two years of age." Then my lord asked my son if he should like that young lady for a wife. "Nothing, my lord," said Thomas, "could lay a greater obligation upon me than your lordship's providing me with a wife."

"Now, sir," said my lord to the planter, "what do you say to a match between this young gentleman and your daughter? Their ages are agreeable, and if you can, or will, give her more fortune than he has, his shall be augmented. You partly know his substance, by the money I have now paid you."

This generous proposal of my lord's pleased the planter to a great degree, and he declared to my lord that he thought nothing could be a greater favour done him, for two reasons; one of which was, that he was certain the young gentleman was as good as he appeared, because he had taken for his plantation so large a sum of money as none but a gentleman could pay. The next reason was, that this marriage, to be performed as soon as my son arrived there, would be a great satisfaction to his wife, whose favourite the daughter was. "For," added he, "my wife will not only have the pleasure of seeing her daughter settled on what was our own hereditary estate, but also see her married to a man of substance, without the danger of crossing the seas to be matched to a person equal to herself."

"Pray, sir," said my lord, "let me hear what fortune you are willing to give with your daughter; you have but two children, and I know you must be rich." "Why, my lord," replied the planter, "there is no denying that; but you must remember I have a son as well as a daughter to provide for, and he I intend to turn into the mercantile way as soon as he arrives safe from Virginia. I have, my lord," continued he, "a very large stock-in-trade there, as warehouses of tobacco, &c., lodged in the custom-houses of the ports, to the value of £7000, to which I will add £3000 in money, and I hope you will look upon that as a very competent estate; and when the young gentleman's fortune is joined to that, I believe he will be the richest man in the whole American colonies of his age."

It was then considered between my lord and Thomas, that no woman with a quarter of that fortune would venture herself over to the West Indies with a man that had ten times as much; so it being hinted to the planter that my lord had agreed to the proposals, they promised to meet the next morning to settle the affair.

In the evening, my lord, with Thomas in his company, hinted the above discourse to me. I was frightened almost out of my wits to think what a large sum of money had been laid out for my son, but kept what I thought to myself. It was agreed that my son was to marry the old planter's daughter, and a lawyer was sent for, with instructions to draw up all the writings for the marriage-settlement, &c., and the next morning a messenger came from the planter with a note to my lord, letting him know, if it was not inconvenient, he would wait on his lordship to breakfast. He came soon after with a Dutch merchant of great estate, who was our neighbour at The Hague, where they settled every point in question, and the articles were all drawn up and signed by the several parties the next day before dinner.

There was nothing now remaining but my son's departure to his new plantation in Virginia. Great despatch was made that he might be ready to sail in one of his own ships, and take the advantage of an English convoy, which was almost ready to sail. My lord sent several valuable presents to my son's lady, as did her father; and as I was at liberty in this case to do as I would, and knowing my lord had a very great value for my son, I thought that the richer my presents were, the more he would esteem me (but there was nothing in it, the enmity he took against me had taken root in his heart); so I sent her a curious set of china, the very best I could buy, with a silver tea-kettle and lamp, tea-pot, sugar-dish, cream-pot, teaspoons, &c., and as my lord had sent a golden repeater, I added to it a golden equipage, with my lord's picture hanging to it, finely painted; (This was another thing I did purposely to please him, but it would not do.) A few days after, he came to take his leave of me, by my lord's order, and at my parting with him I shed abundance of tears, to think I was then in an almost strange place, no child that could then come near me, and under so severe a displeasure of my lord, that I had very little hopes of ever being friends with him again.

My life did not mend after my son was gone; all I could do would not persuade my lord to have any free conversation with me. And at this juncture it was that the foolish jade Amy, who was now advanced in years, was catched in a conversation with one of my lord's men, which was not to her credit; for, it coming to his ears, she was turned out of the house by my lord's orders, and was never suffered to come into it again during his lifetime, and I did not dare to speak a word in her favour for fear he should retort upon me, "Like mistress, like maid."

I could hear nothing of Amy for the first three months after she had left me, till one day, as I was looking out of a dining-room window, I saw her pass by, but I did not dare ask her to come in, for fear my lord should hear of her being there, which would have been adding fuel to the fire; however, she, looking up at the house, saw me. I made a motion to her to stay a little about the door, and in the meantime I wrote a note, and dropped it out of the window, in which I told her how I had lived in her absence, and desired her to write me a letter, and carry it the next day to my sempstress's house, who would take care to deliver it to me herself.

I told Isabel that she should let me know when the milliner came again, for I had some complaints to her about getting up my best suit of Brussels lace nightclothes. On the Saturday following, just after I had dined, Isabel came into my apartment. "My lady," says she, "the milliner is in the parlour; will you be pleased to have her sent upstairs, or will your ladyship be pleased to go down to her?" "Why, send her up, Isabel," said I, "she is as able to come to me as I am to go to her; I will see her here."

When the milliner came into my chamber, I sent Isabel to my dressing-room to fetch a small parcel of fine linen which lay there, and in the interim she gave me Amy's letter, which I put into my pocket, and, having pretended to be angry about my linen, I gave her the small bundle Isabel brought, and bid her be sure to do them better for the future.

She promised me she would, and went about her business; and when she was gone, I opened Amy's letter, and having read it, found it was to the following purpose, viz., that she had opened a coffee-house, and furnished the upper part of it to let out in lodgings; that she kept two maids and a man, but that the trade of it did not answer as she had reason to expect; she was willing to leave it off, and retire into the country to settle for the rest of her life, but was continually harassed by such disturbance in her conscience as made her unfit to resolve upon anything, and wished there was a possibility for her to see me, that she might open her mind with the same freedom as formerly, and have my advice upon some particular affairs; and such-like discourse.

It was a pretty while before I heard from Amy again, and when I did, the letter was in much the same strain as the former, excepting that things were coming more to a crisis; for she told me in it that her money was so out, that is, lent as ready money to traders, and trusted for liquors in her house, that if she did not go away this quarter, she should be obliged to run away the next. I very much lamented her unfortunate case, but that could be no assistance to her, as I had it not now in my power to see her when I would, or give her what I pleased, as it had always used to be; so all I could do was to wish her well, and leave her to take care of herself.

About this time it was that I perceived my lord began to look very pale and meagre, and I had a notion he was going into a consumption, but did not dare tell him so, for fear he should say I was daily looking for his death, and was now overjoyed that I saw a shadow of it; nevertheless, he soon after began to find himself in a very bad state of health, for he said to me one morning, that my care would not last long, for he believed he was seized by a distemper it was impossible for him to get over. "My lord," said I, "you do not do me justice in imagining anything concerning me that does not tend to your own happiness, for if your body is out of order, my mind suffers for it." Indeed, had he died then, without making a will, it might have been well for me; but he was not so near death as that; and, what was worse, the distemper, which proved a consumption (which was occasioned chiefly by much study, watchings, melancholy thoughts, wilful and obstinate neglect of taking care of his body, and such like things), held him nine weeks and three days after this, before it carried him off.

He now took country lodgings, most delightfully situated both for air and prospect, and had a maid and man to attend him. I begged on my knees to go with him, but could not get that favour granted; for, if I could, it might have been the means of restoring me to his favour, but our breach was too wide to be thoroughly reconciled, though I used all the endearing ways I had ever had occasion for to creep into his favour.

Before he went out of town he locked and sealed up every room in the house, excepting my bedchamber, dressing-room, one parlour, and all the offices and rooms belonging to the servants; and, as he had now all my substance in his power, I was in a very poor state for a countess, and began to wish, with great sincerity, that I had never seen him, after I had lived so happy a life as I did at the Quaker's. For notwithstanding our estates joined together, when we were first married, amounted to £3376 per annum, and near £18,000 ready money, besides jewels, plate, goods, &c., of a considerable value, yet we had lived in a very high manner since our taking the title of earl and countess upon us; setting up a great house, and had a number of servants; our equipage, such as coach, chariot, horses, and their attendants; a handsome fortune my lord had given to my daughter, and a very noble one to my son, whom he loved very well, not for his being my son, but for the courteous behaviour of him in never aspiring to anything above a valet after he knew who he was, till my lord made him his secretary or clerk. Besides all these expenses, my lord, having flung himself into the trade to the Indies, both East and West, had sustained many great and uncommon losses, occasioned by his merchandise being mostly shipped in English bottoms; and that nation having declared war against the crown of Spain, he was one of the first and greatest sufferers by that power; so that, on the whole, our estate, which was as above, dwindled to about £1000 per annum, and our home stock, viz., about £17,000, was entirely gone. This, I believe, was another great mortification to his lordship, and one of the main things that did help to hasten his end; for he was observed, both by me and all his servants, to be more cast down at hearing of his losses, that were almost daily sent to him, than he was at what had happened between him and me.

Nothing could give more uneasiness than the damage our estate sustained by this traffic. He looked upon it as a mere misfortune that no person could avoid; but I, besides that, thought it was a judgment upon me, to punish me in the loss of all my ill-got gain. But when I found that his own fortune began to dwindle as well as mine, I was almost ready to think it was possible his lordship might have been as wicked a liver as I had, and the same vengeance as had been poured upon me for my repeated crimes might also be a punishment for him.

As his lordship was in a bad state of health, and had removed to a country lodging, his study and counting-house, as well as his other rooms, were locked and sealed up; all business was laid aside, excepting such letters as came to him were carried to his lordship to be opened, read, and answered. I also went to see him morning and evening, but he would not suffer me to stay with him a single night. I might have had another room in the same house, but was not willing the people who kept it should know that there was a misunderstanding between us; so I contented myself to be a constant visitor, but could not persuade him to forgive me the denying of my daughter, and acting the part of Roxana, because I had kept those two things an inviolable secret from him and everybody else but Amy, and it was carelessness in her conduct at last that was the foundation of all my future misery.

As my lord's weakness increased, so his ill temper, rather than diminish, increased also. I could do nothing to please him, and began to think that he was only pettish because he found it was his turn to go out of the world first. A gentleman that lived near him, as well as his chaplain, persuaded him to have a physician, to know in what state his health was; and by all I could learn, the doctor told him to settle his worldly affairs as soon as he conveniently could. "For," says he, "although your death is not certain, still your life is very precarious."

The first thing he did after this was to send for the son he had by me from the university. He came the week afterwards, and the tutor with him, to take care of his pupil. The next day after my lord came home, and sending for six eminent men that lived at The Hague he made his will, and signed it in the presence of them all; and they, with the chaplain, were appointed the executors of it, and guardians of my son.

As I was in a great concern at his making his will unknown to me, and before we were friends, I thought of it in too serious a manner not to speak about it. I did not know where to apply first, but after mature consideration sent for the chaplain, and he coming to me, I desired he would give me the best intelligence he could about it. "My lady," said he, "you cannot be so unacquainted with the duty of my function, and the trust my lord has reposed in me, but you must know I shall go beyond my trust in relating anything of that nature to you; all that I can say on that head is, that I would have you make friends with my lord as soon as you possibly can, and get him to make another will, or else take the best care of yourself as lies in your power; for, I assure you, if his lordship dies, you are but poorly provided for."