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“Let’s talk about that sometime next week.” Reesa handed her the folder and backed toward the elevator. “For now your name is on the placement letter.”
The weight of what she’d agreed to sat heavily on her shoulders. Not knowing what to expect was always hard for her. She liked life on her own terms, and being a foster parent was pretty much the opposite of that.
As Reesa disappeared down the hall, Jordan shoved the papers into the pocket of the diaper bag and looked at Ash. “You ready?”
When he nodded, she pushed the door open. Room 314 was silent, shadowy. The only light on was the one over the bed, which highlighted the tiny boy. He might be three but he wasn’t even the size of the average two-year-old. Curled up in sleep, he looked more like an infant.
She stopped halfway to the bed. He had bandages around his wrists and ankles, and gauze wrapped around his midsection. Dressed only in a diaper and covered partially by a sheet, he was unmoving in the bed.
Ash touched her arm. “Do you want me to go first?”
She shook her head. Levi was so still and quiet that she thought he was asleep, but when she rounded the end of the bed, she realized that his eyes were open and fixed on the window. “Hey, buddy.”
Levi startled, but he didn’t look at her. She reached into the bag she’d so haphazardly packed and pulled out a lovey, as Claire’s kids called them. She placed it near his fingers.
Next out of the bag was the smaller pair of pajamas, which she realized would still swallow him. But actually, that might be better over the bandages.
“How about I take a quick look before you dress him?”
At the sound of Ash’s deep voice, Levi started to shake, and he curled into a protective position, knees at his chin.
Jordan longed to pick him up and bring him safely into her arms, but she knew that he wouldn’t feel safe there—not yet. Looking over at Ash and meeting his eyes, she gave him an apologetic shrug. “Maybe if you give us a few minutes.”
Ash nodded and backed toward the door. “I saw Dr. Lowenstein at the nurses’ station. I’m going to get his thoughts on Levi’s care from here on out and take a look at the chart before he’s discharged.”
She studied the baby in the bed. Levi was in near fetal position, his thumb in his mouth, dark brown eyes wide and terrified. She’d gentled a lot of fearful horses in her time, horses who had been mistreated and neglected. Maybe teaching this little boy that she could be trusted wasn’t so different.
Jordan pulled the rocking chair close to the bed, close enough to touch him. The first thing she did with a skittish horse was get them used to the sound of her voice. She began to sing to Levi, a little song she’d learned as a child. He glanced at her and looked away, but he didn’t cry.
She heard the door softly latch as Ash closed it behind him. If she could just act like a normal human being around the handsome doctor, they could be friends. Instead, she was as awkward as a seventh grader at her first boy-girl party.
But there was no slow dancing here in room 314. Nothing to worry about. She smiled into a toddler’s troubled brown eyes. Levi was the new man in her life now.
* * *
Ash leaned against the wall outside the door of the hospital room where Levi Wheeler rested. Nausea churned in his stomach—not at the wounds; he’d seen worse. No, he had to make an excuse to get out of the room because the thought that the very people who were supposed to love and protect this little boy were the ones—
Our God is a great big God and He holds us in His hand...
Jordan’s sweet voice carried through the closed door. He didn’t know how she could sing about God right now. Where was God when that baby’s parents duct-taped him into a chair and left him there for days?
Ash’s hand curled into a fist but he resisted the urge to punch the wall, instead choosing to walk the few feet to the nurses’ station. “Levi Wheeler?”
The nurse selected the chart and handed it across the counter. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Dr. Sheehan. You have time for a coffee? I’ve got a break coming up.”
Flashing the smile was automatic. “I don’t today. Rain check?”
He looked over the notes that Dr. Lowenstein had left in Levi’s chart and glanced back at the nurse. “You have his discharge papers ready?”
“Yes, sir.” The pretty blonde looked up at him from under her lashes.
He sighed and then forced the appropriate words. “Thanks, Amber. Let’s see if we can get this young man out of the hospital.”
She squeezed his arm as she walked by him. He stabbed his fingers through his hair, annoyed in spite of himself. His siblings were always making fun of him for his dimples, blond hair and blue eyes. And sure, in high school and college, he’d loved the attention from the ladies. Now it was just a distraction.
He didn’t want someone who liked him for his looks. He wanted to spend time with someone who was interested in what he thought, what he cared about. He would never tell his brother, Joe, this, but he wanted a soul mate, like Joe had found in Claire.
He sighed. Maybe it was best that he hadn’t found that. Marriage and family might work for Joe, but it wasn’t in the cards for him. He pushed open the door to little Levi’s room.
Jordan had Levi dressed in navy blue fleece pajamas with rockets and moons on them. The toddler’s big brown eyes, his eyelashes wet from tears, met Ash’s for one long moment before he stared out the window again.
“He let you dress him. I didn’t hear any screams.”
She shook her head. “He wasn’t happy about it, but he did let me touch him. Baby steps, I guess.”
As Nurse Amber went through the discharge papers with Jordan, Ash made sure to stay close to the door, away from where his presence might upset Levi. Other than the terrified reaction when Ash had gotten close to the bed, the little boy had shown no interest in anything and had made no sound at all. The hospital had done some preliminary evaluations, but no one could tell at this point how extensive the damage to Levi might be.
Amber handed Jordan a stack of prescriptions and then said, “Okay, sign here and you’re good to go.”
When the orderly rolled the wheelchair into the room, Levi looked toward it, brown eyes going wide. As the orderly brought it closer, Levi began to whimper. And when Amber reached for him to put him in it, the little boy lost it.
He screamed and scratched, jerking away from the nurse until she gave in and dropped him back onto the mattress, where he collapsed, sobbing.
Jordan stepped toward the baby, putting herself between him and the wheelchair. “Please take that out of here. Now.”
The orderly left without a word.
Jordan nailed Amber with a look. “I know it’s against hospital policy but I’m going to carry him out. The chair is obviously terrifying to him and I can’t let him be more traumatized.”
She held her arms out to Levi, whose huge waif eyes were full of dark fear. “Come on, buddy, let’s get out of here. No chair. Just you and me.”
He didn’t move. Ash was pretty certain that she was going to have to carry him out kicking and screaming, but suddenly, the injured toddler threw himself into her arms.
She paid exactly zero attention to the snot running down his face, just cuddled him close and grabbed the backpack she had brought with her.
Amber was between Jordan and the door. She held Jordan’s gaze for another moment before she relented and stepped out of the way. “I’ll make a note in the chart that Dr. Sheehan walked you out.”
“Perfect. Ash, let’s get this little guy out of here.”
Pulling the door open, Ash stepped out of the way and Jordan walked past him without looking back. Levi’s little arms were clenched around her neck, his face buried in the hollow of her shoulder.
Ash thanked the nurse and followed Jordan into the hall. He’d dated a lot of Ambers, girls who were pretty and sweet, smart even. Jordan was different. She didn’t care about her hair. She didn’t wear makeup, that he could tell. More often than not, she had something questionable staining her jeans and hay sticking in her hair.
But she had just stood up for Levi, knowing instinctively what he needed. In her therapy practice, he had seen her create magic between a child and a horse. She was complicated and gifted and stunningly beautiful, despite the fact that she obviously didn’t notice.
Or maybe because of it. And every time he tried to talk to her, the words stuck in his throat.
In the parking lot, Jordan’s truck beeped as it unlocked, and she tucked Levi into his car seat, gently brushing a curl off his forehead. Crocodile tears started down his thin cheeks. Ash pulled a lollipop out of the pocket of his coat and held it out to Levi. He looked at Ash with suspicion, but took it and stopped crying.
“Now you find a lollipop? Where were you when I was trying to dress him?” She rolled her eyes at Ash and he laughed.
“Next time I’ll do better.”
“Okay, buddy, here we go.” Jordan clicked the harness into place and closed the door. In an unguarded moment, Ash saw grief and pain flash across her face before she shuttered it. “He’s really hurt. I wasn’t prepared for how badly.”
He shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’ll come by and check on him after clinic tomorrow morning. And you can call me if you need anything.”
She nodded and her eyes lingered on his for a long second. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”
Jordan rounded the car and got in, turning around to give her little charge a reassuring smile. Ash watched as she drove out of the parking lot, lifting a hand as she turned the corner onto the highway.
Yeah, she was different. Not his type at all. So why was he so interested?
Chapter Two (#u96d88f8f-fbad-5e81-851e-9e39512f2257)
Jordan turned on the coffeemaker in the kitchen, but not before she added another scoop of ground coffee to the filter. While it was brewing, she laid her head against the cool stainless-steel surface of the refrigerator. She was exhausted.
Levi had shunned the crib altogether, opting to fight it out in the living room. He’d stayed awake until he absolutely could not hold his eyes open anymore, finally falling asleep staring into the fire she’d built in the big stone fireplace. His dimpled fingers were entwined in the fur of her German shepherd, who was glued to his side. She didn’t know exactly what had happened to this baby but he was stuck in fight-or-flight mode.
It was heartbreaking. He needed to learn to trust that she would take care of him, but his body wouldn’t let him. Even her dog, Gus, understood Levi had broken places and all they could do to fix him was just be there.
A soft tap at the door had her glancing up in panic, but Gus just lifted his head and woofed softly before laying it back down. She put her finger over her lips and let her sister, Claire, in through the French doors that looked out over the pond to the barn on the other side.
“Hey, I just came to see how our new little guy is doing. I brought you some clothes for him.” Her sister’s long brown hair was in a messy bun on top of her head, an oversize sweatshirt hiding her still tiny baby bump.
“He’s asleep on the couch. The crib was a no-go.”
Claire peeked over the back of the blue velvet couch. “Oh, sweet baby. Has he eaten yet?”
“No. I tried everything I had that was kid-friendly. He wouldn’t even eat one of those applesauce pouches. I’m not really sure what to do.”
Claire shook her head. “Maybe Ash will have some ideas. He’s so tiny. It’s hard to believe he’s three.”
“That’s what the paperwork says, but it wouldn’t be the first time the age was wrong on the paperwork.” She poured coffee into a ceramic mug and topped it with cream so she could drink it faster.
“Amelia said she would take care of the horses this weekend so you can get Levi settled.”
“Bless her.” Claire’s stepdaughter, Amelia, had bonded with the horses from the first time she saw them. If she was looking after the animals, Jordan could stop worrying about them. “How’s Sweetness feeling this morning?”
“Cranky. I left her with Mrs. Matthews, eating breakfast. She loves those tiny pancakes Mrs. M. makes.”
“Hiring her was the best decision ever.” Jordan gave her sister a sideways glance. Claire had nearly burned the house down twice and all of them had eaten more than their share of NoodleO’s. “Not that you weren’t a good cook.”
“I wasn’t.” Claire poured herself half a cup of coffee. “But Mrs. Matthews is and she needed something big to do after her husband, Vince, passed last year.”
A whimper came from the couch. Jordan leaned over the back and pulled the soft fleece blanket over his narrow shoulders. Levi squinched his eyes shut and burrowed farther into the cushions.
“What did Ash say about him?”
Jordan topped off her coffee and stirred it. “Ash didn’t really get a chance to check him out last night. Levi seems to have an objection to superhot male doctors.”
Claire snorted her coffee. “I bet Mama J doesn’t have an objection.”
Jordan scowled at the nickname—and the observation. “Mama J thinks Dr. Sheehan should stick to his high-society girls.”
“I think maybe there’s more to Ash than meets the eye.”
“If you say so.” Jordan wasn’t trying to be rude, but Ash was tagged in social media with a different girl every week, most of the time dressed in evening wear, attending some function or another. His day-to-day couldn’t be further removed from her simple life here on the farm. She walked, mug in hand, to the window.
“Jordan...”
When she turned around, Claire’s eyes were filled with tears. “I know I asked you to pick Levi up. I even thought he and Sweetness could maybe share a room. But my margin is razor-thin right now and now I know...he needs more care than I can give him.”
Jordan’s heart hammered in her chest. She’d kind of had a feeling this would happen. Somewhere in the back of her mind, where she tucked things she didn’t want to think about, she’d had an inkling that when she said yes to Levi, she wasn’t just saying yes for the weekend.
That didn’t mean the idea of keeping him didn’t scare her down to her toenails.
Claire met her at the window. “I know you work so hard with the horses and taking care of your practice. You have so much on your plate. I talked to Reesa and she said they would try to find another family next week.”
“No.” The vehemence with which she replied surprised even Jordan. She gentled her tone. “No. I said yes to Levi. Not you. I didn’t know what I was stepping into, but we never do.”
Claire nodded, her eyes still brimming. “No, we never do. It’s worth it.”
“If Mom hadn’t thought so, we wouldn’t be where we are now.” A wry smile curved Jordan’s lips. “So remind me of that in a week when I’d sell my left kidney for a night of sleep.”
“I will, but you have some time to think about it and make sure that’s what you want to do. Now I need to get back before Mrs. Matthews realizes she traded her retirement for indentured labor.” Claire grabbed Jordan around the neck and squeezed, tight. “I love you. I hope you don’t regret moving here.”
“Never. I like a challenge.”
Claire laughed and handed her the empty mug. “I’ll be back for more later.”
Jordan watched her sister swing off the porch onto the well-worn path to the main house. Claire was in her element at Red Hill Farm. She may be struggling a little being a mom while dealing with first trimester sickness, but their brood of kids was thriving here.
As Jordan walked the few steps into the living area, she realized Levi wasn’t asleep anymore. His dark brown eyes were wide-open and staring at her. His thumb was in his mouth, the pale blue lovey she’d brought to the hospital clenched in his fist, his other hand in Gus’s black fur.
He blinked, his lashes taking a long, slow dip.
“Hey, buddy, you hungry? Want something to eat?” Even though she knew he probably wouldn’t know it, she made the sign for eat tips of fingers to mouth. Gus’s tail thumped. “Not you, you dorky dog.”
Levi didn’t move, just looked at her. At least he didn’t seem scared. “How about some milk?”
Again, she made the sign along with the word. He didn’t respond. She’d tried a sippy cup last night and he’d refused it. It was possible, considering the neglect, that he’d only had a bottle. Luckily, she had one left from an overnight with one of their former foster babies. She poured milk into the bottle and, after a little thought, added a packet of formula because Levi could definitely use the calories.
Warming it just enough for the powder to mix, she shook it and showed it to him. His eyes brightened for the first time. She eased onto the sofa and sat beside him. He reached for the bottle, but instead of just handing it to him, she picked him up and put him on her lap, letting him rest against her chest.
He stiffened, but didn’t pull away from her like he had last night. She put the bottle in his mouth and he wrapped his fingers around hers and took a few sips. He pulled it back, looking at it like he wasn’t sure what he was tasting.
“It’s okay, buddy. Good stuff.” She let him slide into the crook of her arm so that she could see his face. His eyes were open and, as he drank, he reached with one small hand to explore the hair that had fallen out of her ponytail to frame her face. The touch was so light, she barely felt it.
