Passion, Betrayal And Killer Highlights

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“And I doubt Marcus thinks about hair all the time,” Mary Ann continued, “and you work…” Her voice trailed off.

Dena was the sole proprietor of Guilty Pleasures, an establishment she affectionately referred to as an erotic boutique, and if there was ever a woman who brought her work home with her, it was Dena.

Dena smiled at her cousin mischievously and Mary Ann rolled her eyes. “Not everyone’s you.”

Dena shrugged and ran her fingers through her cropped hair. “Do the police suspect Leah?”

I nodded. “But she didn’t do it.”

“Of course, she didn’t.” Mary Ann used her hand to make little soothing circles on my back. “Anyone who’s ever met Leah would know she’s not capable of hurting anyone. The poor thing must be devastated by all this.”

“She’s not at her best,” I admitted.

“Is there anything I can do?” Mary Ann asked.

“No—wait, that’s not true.” I shifted my position so I was facing her. “Leah wants to make sure her mourning attire is appropriate in a W magazine kind of way.”

Mary Ann nodded encouragingly. “There are a few recently widowed women who I work on at Neiman. Of course I only do their makeup, but I always take note of what they’re wearing.”

“Jesus, is fashion really Leah’s biggest concern?” Dena asked. “What about her kid?”

“Trust me, Jack is always a concern.” I took a long sip of my drink. “In fact, she and Jack will be staying with me for the next few days.”

Mary Ann gasped and Dena’s tan complexion got almost as white as her cousin’s.

I ran a jagged fingernail around the rim of my mug. “It’s not as bad as all that. I can deal with Jack.”

“Of course you can,” Mary Ann said. “You do still have rental insurance, right?”

“And smoke detectors,” Dena chimed in. “You’re going to need lots of smoke detectors.”

“He’s eighteen months old. He’s not going to be setting fire to the apartment.” I glanced nervously at the smoke detector in the living room. When was the last time I checked the battery on that thing?

I heard the sound of a key jiggling in the lock and then Leah burst in with Jack in her arms. Despite my concerns I felt a little tug at my heart. Cuddled up against his mother Jack looked like a little cherub. If he didn’t have the temperament of a Tasmanian devil he’d be irresistible.

“Have you listened to the radio?” she asked, skipping the formality of a greeting.

“Not today but—”

“There was this woman on the air and she was talking about me!” Jack squirmed in her arms and she placed him on the ground. “She was talking about how my new status as a suspect is a perfect example of how underprivileged women of color still have to struggle to be seen as contributing citizens rather than potential criminals. Underprivileged, Sophie! I have never been less than upper middle class in my life, and this woman has me sounding like some kind of black, blue-collar soccer mom!”

Dena put her cola can on the coffee table. “I don’t think she was trying to make you look like a soccer mom…welfare mom, maybe.”

“This is all Cheryl’s fault!”

“Ah.” I brought my fingers to my temples. “So you know about her comments to Channel Two.”

“Yes, I know! And the sad part is I don’t even think she’s a racist. She just knew this was her one and only chance at grabbing her fifteen minutes of fame. After all, it’s not like she could ever make it as an actress. The senior citizen who fell and couldn’t get back up was a better thespian than she is. Cheryl’s only talent is making other people’s lives miserable. That and her obnoxious ability to quote from Entertainment Weekly.”

Mary Ann blinked. “I’ve never met Cheryl. Is she into celebrities?”

“Oh, she’s way beyond that,” Leah said. “They need to make up a new word for what Cheryl is.”

“That’s the understatement of the century. I don’t think there’s an E! Television show that she hasn’t seen or an Us magazine she hasn’t read five times over,” Leah explained.

“That’s why she got a job at Hotel Gatsby. She read some article about how Gatsby hotels are always filled with young A-list celebrities, so when they opened one in San Francisco she rushed over and strong-armed some unwitting HR girl into letting her work the front desk.”

Dena rolled her head toward her right shoulder in an effort to stretch her neck. “I thought Cheryl worked at the Ritz.”

“She did, but that didn’t stop her from accepting a few graveyard shifts at Gatsby,” Leah said. “Never mind the fact that the Ritz has a policy against working at another hotel while working for them. The management at the Ritz just found out last week and terminated her employment.” Leah allowed herself a brief moment of smug satisfaction before continuing her tirade. “I suppose she’ll go to full-time at the Gatsby now. But it gives you an idea of what kind of woman she is. I mean really, what kind of person is that disrespectful of the Ritz-Carlton?”

Jack toddled over to Mary Ann and she bent over to kiss him on the forehead, then quickly withdrew her head as she caught a whiff of his current odor. “Oh,” she said in a nasal voice that implied that she was holding her breath. “Does he have a poopy diaper?”

“Of course he has a poopy diaper. Do you think my son smells like this all the time?”

Leah strode forward and reached for Jack, but Mary Ann picked him up before she had a chance. “You seem a little stressed,” Mary Ann said, blatantly understating the situation. “Why don’t you sit down and relax and I’ll change Jack.”

“You’d do that?” Leah’s expression softened.

“Of course. You’ve been through so much. This is the least I can do.”

“Thank you.” Leah’s mouth relaxed into a genuine smile. “I’m sorry I snapped, but I’m just at the end of my rope.”

“Any of us would be,” Mary Ann said reassuringly.

Jack pointed to Mr. Katz, who was busy grooming himself. “Kitty lick.”

“Yes, that’s what cats do when they’re dirty,” Mary Ann explained as she carried him down the hall. “I guess you both need a little cleaning.”

Leah waited until Mary Ann had disappeared into the bathroom before turning her attention to Dena. “I haven’t seen you for a while,” she said coolly. “Sophie tells me you’re dating a vampire.”

“He’s not a vampire,” Dena said with a yawn. “He just wants to become one. Anyway, I broke up with him last week.”

“What?” I scooted forward. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s no biggie. He was getting a little too…” Dena waved her hand in the air as if trying to physically grab the word that was eluding her.

“Intense?” I volunteered.

“Insane?” Leah pitched in.

“Conventional,” Dena finished. “When I first met him he was so dark and mysterious, but then he got a job at the Gap and it was bye-bye gothic, hello ‘Songs by Your Favorite Artists.’”

Leah shook her head. “Do you ever get tired of being a freak?”

“I beg your pardon.” Dena raised herself to her full five feet two inches of height. “And the term is super freak.” She turned to me. “I’ve got to check in with the shop.”

“I left the phone on my bedside table.”

Dena nodded and disappeared down the hall.

“So,” I said, turning back to Leah, “you’re having a bad day.”

“A bad day?” Leah collapsed onto a chair by the dining table. “My husband was shot yesterday!”

“Yes, I know.” And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

“You know, the cruelest thing I ever did to Bob was serve him a cold dinner. And now Cheryl’s accusing me of shooting him?”

“Like you said, she’s just trying to grab her fifteen minutes.” I could hear Jack screaming in the guest room. I eyed Leah to see if she was going to help Mary Ann out, but she stayed glued to her seat.

“I guarantee you Bob never told Cheryl about our marriage problems.” Leah’s eyes narrowed as she looked out into space. “The two of them were hardly on speaking terms! And now she runs out and gets herself a pink hankie and starts comparing me to OJ? Is she joking?”

“Let’s focus on what we can control,” I said. Jack was still screaming in the background and now I could hear Mary Ann’s pleas for cooperation. Clearly Jack wasn’t one of our controllables. “I found some stuff out today that you should know.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, for one thing I…well, I spoke to Bob’s mistress.”

Leah flinched but didn’t say anything.

“She says that Bob almost left you nine months ago. She implied that you and Bob actually talked about it.”

“She’s lying.”

“So he never said anything at all?”

“You would take the word of a whore over mine?”

I sighed and started massaging my temples in earnest. “You know, it would be so much simpler if she were a whore, but after meeting her I don’t think that title really fits.”

“Really? How would you describe the woman who was sleeping with my husband?”

“I’d describe her as a wide-eyed innocent who bought Bob’s BS hook, line and sinker.”

Leah pressed her lips together.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you that she was some kind of siren whose unearthly song led Bob to the rocks. Although, I’m not a hundred-percent sure she isn’t the one who killed him, if that makes you feel any better.”

Leah shrugged peevishly. “A little.”

I smiled, glad to be able to deliver at least some good news. A fresh-smelling Jack toddled into the living room followed by a somewhat haggard-looking Mary Ann. Leave it to my nephew to break someone’s spirit with one diaper change.

Leah smiled at Mary Ann and pulled out a chair for her, which Mary Ann immediately dropped into. “Thank you so much for doing that.”

“It was no problem,” Mary Ann lied. Mr. Katz stretched his legs and wandered out of the room. Jack went after him, keeping a cautious distance. Leah started to get up to follow him but Mary Ann’s words stopped her. “Sophie tells me you have some fashion questions.”

“Yes,” Leah said urgently. “I need to know what widows are supposed to wear.”

Mary Ann reached out and patted her hand. “The key to the look is earth tones.”

“Earth tones.” By the awe in Leah’s voice you would have thought Mary Ann had just spoken the true name of God.

“Hey, Sophie.”

I looked up to see Dena standing just outside of the kitchen.

“Is it okay for Jack to be getting into the cabinet beneath the sink?”

“Oh, my God!” I yelled.

Leah and I ran into the kitchen, pushing Dena aside just as Jack grabbed the Clorox scrub and dumped it onto Mr. Katz. Jack looked up at Leah with pride in his eyes. “Dirty cat.”

Leah scooped up Jack and I raced after Mr. Katz, who almost sent Mary Ann sprawling as he tried to pass her in the hall. I lunged for him and managed to throw him in the bathtub as he ran his claws down my arm. While I turned on the shower, Mr. Katz hissed and desperately tried to escape. I managed to rinse off the cleaning solution just as Mr. Katz punished me with a particularly painful scratch across the back of my wrist. He jumped out of the bathtub and darted out of the room. I looked up to see my three guests standing in the doorway.

“I know this might be an inopportune moment to bring this up,” Leah said slowly, “but is anyone else impressed that my son made the connection between Mary Ann’s statement that the cat was dirty and Clorox? It really is an amazing mental leap for an eighteen-month-old.”

I pressed my hands against my wounds. The only leap I wanted Jack to make was into a playpen for the rest of the night. “You’re right, Leah, the moment’s definitely inopportune.”

Leah handed Jack to Mary Ann, who took him with no little trepidation. “Let me see your arms.” Leah peered at them and then pulled some cotton balls and rubbing alcohol out of my medicine cabinet. She sat down next to me on the edge of the bathtub and held my arms under the running faucet before patting them dry and applying the alcohol. “Spare me the dramatics,” she said as I gasped in pain.

I narrowed my eyes. “This from the girl who was voted ‘most likely to overreact’ in high school?”

“I’ve changed.” She tossed the used cotton balls in the wastebasket. “Besides, you don’t know what pain is until you’ve—”

“If you finish that sentence with ‘given birth,’ I’m going to have to punch you,” Dena said flatly.

Leah glared at her. “It’s true. Not that you would know anything about childbirth or anything else that involved any kind of commitment.”

“I’m plenty committed. I’m committed to my friends, my career, and I’m very committed to my quest to help the women of San Francisco find their G-spot.”

Mary Ann sighed disapprovingly and took Jack out of the room before Dena could inadvertently corrupt him.