Talk to Me Tenderly, Tell Me Lies

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‘Cute?’ She flashed him a look. ‘Oh, how undignified …’

‘I mean …’ he smiled, ‘defenceless.’

‘I’ll say I was defenceless. What was I wearing?’

‘Your swimsuit.’

‘All of it?’

Ben sighed. ‘No, well, it was around your thighs. But I pulled it up as far as I could.’

Helen winced. ‘Oh, Clyde would love this.’ She looked at him. ‘You didn’t …?’ She stopped in embarrassment.

Ben had had enough of being a misunderstood Good Samaritan. ‘No, Helen,’ he said, ‘I didn’t Your swimsuit was around your knees, and I pulled it up as far as I could.’ He gave her a glare. ‘What kind of a jerk do you take me for?’

She closed her eyes again. ‘Oh boy … Thanks,’ she said, less than graciously. Then she added grudgingly: ‘No, Ben, I didn’t think you’d done anything ungentlemanly.’

‘Then why did you say it?’

‘I didn’t say it.’ Then, more reasonably: ‘But I admit it crossed my mind. Unworthy thought.’ She sighed again, still angry with herself. ‘I was just imagining what Clyde would think if he knew.’

‘Well, he’s not going to know, is he?’

She snorted bleakly. ‘I may feel I have to confess it.’

Ben was astonished. ‘Confess it? Why?’ He waved a bemused hand. ‘Confess what? What did you do? Have you done him any harm? Have I?’ He sighed, then shook his head at her. ‘It’ll only provoke suspicion. And discord. “What the eye does not see the heart does not grieve for”. Look, Helen …’ He was almost at a loss where to begin with this delicate female conscience. ‘Look, you were having a fun day for a change, as you’re fully entitled to do. So, you got a bit drunk because you were letting your hair down for once. So what? You’re your own person. Enjoy what happened. Look back on it with pleasure – or at least amusement. You didn’t do anything wrong, Helen, even if you did fall asleep on the john with your swimsuit half on and had to be put to bed.’ He glared into her embarrassed, hungover eyes. Then he held a finger out at her nose and said: ‘And