скачать книгу бесплатно
His horse waited patiently, and Connor tossed his saddlebags over the gelding’s hindquarters. His clothing was packed tightly in one, his personal belongings in the other. His extra pair of boots took up a lot of space, but they were too good to leave behind. Anything else he needed could be bought from the general store.
“I’ll be back to get my horses,” he told his father, riding the gelding to where the man stood. “Probably tomorrow.”
“You know which ones belong to you.” The words sounded harsh, but Connor knew that the man who spoke them was deeply hurt by his son leaving, and he could not blame him for his attitude. Maybe someday things would be set to rights.
And maybe not.
“If Hank Carpenter from Turley County comes by to see me, you can tell him I’m at the old Stewart place, the other side of town, next to Benson’s.”
“He wantin’ one of your horses?”
“Either that or he wants me to train one he has already.”
“I’ll let him know.”
“Thanks, Pa.” Above all else, his father was an honest man, and if he said he’d send Connor’s new customer to him, he was to be believed. Raising and training horses was Connor’s first choice. But farming ran a close second. Fortunately, they could be combined, so long as he had a barn and some land to plant. Even though it wasn’t going to be the place where he was born and raised that would receive the benefit of his skills and hard work.
Loris met him at the back door, noted the grim set of his jaw, and merely pointed toward the hallway where the stairs climbed to the second floor. He walked past her, carrying his belongings. She watched him go, thinking how much alike they were in this situation. That her clothing consisted of what Connor had bought her, that she’d come almost empty-handed to this place. And now, he’d left home and family and all else that he called his own to stay with her.
“The second door on the right.” She called to him as he reached the hallway.
He turned to look down at her with dark eyes that seemed to see within her, measuring her body and reading her thoughts. “Is it your room? You know I’m planning on staying here a long time, Loris. I’m going to take care of you, and that arrangement starts right now.” His gaze was straightforward, giving her notice of his plans.
She drew in a deep breath, and then shook her head. “No, that’s not my bedroom.”
His eyes narrowed and she thought his knuckles grew white on the bags he held. But his voice was flat and without anger when he spoke again. “Which one is yours?”
“Right across the hall.” She held her breath as he met her gaze for a long minute, and then growled words that did not surprise her.
“Then that’s my room, too.” Turning, he walked through the doorway of the bedroom she’d claimed for herself, and she heard the distinct sound of dresser drawers opening, of his bags hitting the floor, and then the noise of his boots as he walked across the uncarpeted floor.
She was a long way from being upset with him. She’d given him the choice, allowed him the chance to have a room and bed of his own, and he’d turned her down. It was what she’d expected, and though she felt a twinge of unease, her heart sang with the knowledge that he wanted to be with her. Wanted to sleep in her bed…and most of all, he planned on taking his place in this home.
I’m going to take care of you, and that arrangementstarts right now.
He’d certainly made that plain enough.
Her lips curved in a secret sort of smile as she returned to the kitchen. She’d put bacon on top of a pan of beans, adding all the ingredients her mother had used for the one-dish meal at home. Onions, tomatoes, brown sugar and a bit of mustard flavored the beans, and the thick slices of bacon made it even more palatable.
“Smells good in here.” Connor came back to the kitchen, hat and coat in hand, then hung them on pegs by the back door. He took warm water from the reservoir on the side of the stove and began to wash up, dousing his face and then using the soap to scrub his hands and arms, all the way up past his elbows. His shirtsleeves were rolled up neatly, and Loris had a hard time keeping her eyes from him.
He walked up behind her as she stirred a small skillet of fried potatoes. “Is that bacon I smell?”
She thought for a moment he’d leaned close enough to kiss her neck, but instead felt the brush of his hands smoothing back her hair and then holding her shoulders in a firm grip.
“Beans and bacon. Just like my mama used to make at home. She’s a good cook.”
“I’d say by the looks of your dog, he thinks you’re not bad, either.” Rusty had been sitting at her side as she worked in the kitchen, as if he delighted in his responsibility. In return she’d managed to find a few bits and pieces to toss his way, and he peered up at her with a foolish look, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, a soft woof stating his pleasure.
“That dog likes you,” Connor said.
“I hope so. At least he seems to think his main job in life is to stick close by.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted him to do,” Connor told her. “Now, how can I help? Maybe set the table?”
“If you want to. I can do it if you’re tired and want to sit down with a cup of coffee.”
“I’d rather help.” He knew his way around a kitchen, she noticed. His hands held the plates and silverware easily, the cup handles riding on his fingers. “Should I wipe off the oilcloth first?”
In answer, she located the dishcloth and rinsed it in clear water, then squeezed it almost dry. A quick toss across the table delivered it to his hand and he grinned his thanks.
Before long Loris had browned the potatoes nicely, the table was cleaned and set, the chairs moved to their proper places, and Connor was back at her side. “When the beans are done, I’ll take them out of the oven for you,” he offered.
“All right.” She was happy to accede to him, preferring to finish off the odds and ends of the meal. “I’ve already sliced bread and I found a jar of applesauce in the pantry. I suspect we’ll have enough to eat.”
Connor heaped his plate with the hot food she’d provided and worked his way through the meal without comment, only pausing to butter a slice of bread. He leaned back in his chair finally, his plate clean, his hunger apparently appeased.
“Your mother’s cooking must have rubbed off on you, Loris. You made a fine meal. The beans and bacon were good.”
“I noticed that Rusty enjoyed them, too,” she said archly. “He seems to know a soft touch when he sees one.”
“Well, he’s a discerning sort of dog. Knows good food when he gets some handed to him.”
She felt a flush of success at his words. “Mama tried to teach me how to cook and keep house. I’m afraid I wasn’t a very good pupil at some of the tasks she set for me, but I know how to use a scrub board and if there’s a pair of sad irons here, I can iron your clothes.”
“I saw some in the cellar,” he told her. “Though why they were down there is a mystery. Maybe it’s just an extra pair. My mother had two pair, one a bit heavier than the other. She said some things needed more weight.”
“I’ll look in the pantry. There may be a pair there, and it seems like a logical spot to store them. Maybe there’s an ironing board there, too, back in the corner.”
Connor stood, lifting his plate from the table and turning to the sink. Loris followed him quickly, brushing past him to place her own dishes in the sink. And then, as if they had done these small chores together a hundred times before, she handed him a large saucepan.
“If you’ll bring water from the stove, I’ll put these to soak while I clear up in here.”
He did as she asked, then poured coffee from the pot into his cup and settled at the table once more. Straightening the kitchen was a simple thing to accomplish, but he admired her movements as she worked, watched the swing of her skirts as she moved back and forth from table to cupboard, then to the pantry and back again. She paused to find an old metal pan and filled it with water from the pump for Rusty’s benefit.
Her dress moved with a swaying motion and he couldn’t be certain if it were something she’d acquired recently. Perhaps he hadn’t noticed it before, but now it struck him as enticing, her hips moving a bit beneath the full skirt, her feet skimming the surface of the wide floorboards.
“You walk as if you’re dancing,” he mused, and was treated to a quick glance in his direction, as her cheeks grew rosy and her eyes sparkled.
“You’re imagining things,” she said tartly, but her pleasure at his words was visible. Her mouth tightened in an inviting fashion, one he’d noticed before, luring him into her presence. It was a simple thing to stand and approach her as she came from the pantry. Her hands were empty, the bread stored on a shelf, the butter placed into a covered dish for the night.
He gave her little choice, his arms enclosing her lightly, as if he were about to dance with her, and for a moment, he thought he almost heard the music that would accompany them.
Loris looked up at him with a smile that encouraged him in his pursuit of her. Her lips curved and her blue eyes darkened, even as he watched. “You make me feel…safe, as though I’m at home here with you,” she said softly.
“Feeling safe is not what I want you to think about when I hold you this way. I’d like to know that I tempt you a bit.” He grinned down at her uplifted face and planted a damp kiss on her forehead. “Surely you know you’re a temptation to me, Loris.”
“I can’t—”
“I don’t expect you to,” he said, interrupting her as if he knew what her next words would be. “I won’t take your body until we’re married. And in the meantime, I’ll be content with warming you at night and spending my days doing what needs to be done here.”
Wasn’t that a tall tale, he thought. He’d not be content until he had the right to love her as a husband would, even though the thought of James being there first was hard for him to swallow. Knowing that the babe she carried belonged to his brother might present a problem when the time came, but for now, he tried his level best to scourge it from his mind.
“I didn’t know that marriage was a part of this picture.” Loris watched him closely, her eyes widening as if she had made some new discovery. He hadn’t mentioned marriage, only that he would take care of her. Perhaps now was the time to set her straight on a few things.
“Of course it is. Did you think I’d ruin you totally by living with you without being your husband?”
“You told me before that you wouldn’t—”
“Never mind what I told you. Whatever happened in the past doesn’t apply to us now. This is a fresh start for both of us, Loris. And marriage is definitely in my plan.”
He thought she looked stunned and then she proved him right. “I can’t think about that now, Connor. Your family will surely be opposed to such a thing, and I won’t come between you and your folks. I’ll lay odds that they hate me for dragging you into my mess.”
“What they think doesn’t mean nothing to me,” he said doggedly. “What I choose to do is my business, and I choose to marry you. We’ll raise this baby and someday have more. We’ll need a few boys around here to take over the farm one day.”
“What about James?” She hit his sore spot squarely, and he felt his teeth grit in anger.
“James has nothing to do with this any longer. He could have married you and had the joy of raising his own child, but he preferred to stay a bachelor and walk away. He’s not going to be welcome here. Ever.”
“Will your parents ever come to accept us together?” She was close to tears. He could sense that much more of this would set loose the waterworks. He preferred to see Loris happy, or at least contented.
“They’ll have to, if they want to see their grandchildren.” Including the one she carried now, he thought, one that would bear the family name, but would be labeled as James’s child.
“Do you think my folks know where I am?” she asked quietly.
“I wouldn’t be surprised. When I paid the back taxes on this place, I didn’t try to hide my plans. I’ll bet they’ve heard already where you are, and that I’m here with you.”
“They always liked you, Connor. I think that’s mostly why they were so angry with me. They thought I’d done irreparable harm to you, and I deserved everything that came my way because of it.”
“I’ll decide what’s best for you now,” he said.
“And what’s best for all three of us.”
“I heard at the barbershop today that our daughter is living with the Webster boy.”
Alger’s lips compressed in anger as he told Minnie his news. “She’s done nothing but disgrace us in this town, and I won’t have it.”
Minnie looked at him sadly. “We shouldn’t have put her out the front door. It would have been better if we’d kept her here or sent her to your sister Edna in Dallas. As it is, she’s bound to have to accept help from any direction it’s offered. And if that means the Webster boy is accepting his responsibility, so much the better.”
“She’s with Connor. James hit the trail, according to what the men at the barbershop had to say. Connor paid the back taxes on the old Stewart farm for her, so she’d have a place to live, and now he’s moved in with her.”
“Maybe he’ll marry her and give the baby a name.” Minnie sounded hopeful, but Alger’s scornful look seemed bound to deny her that bit of light at the end of Loris’s long tunnel of darkness.
“It’s not his. Why should he take on the responsibility?” He hung his coat and hat on the hall tree and voiced his main concern. “I hope we’re not having meat loaf for supper. I ate it at the hotel today for my dinner.”
“No. I put a piece of pork in the oven and made creamed potatoes.” If Minnie sounded sour and unhappy, it wasn’t because of her menu, but the attitude of her husband, who cared more about the state of his stomach than the welfare of his only daughter.
“It’s bedtime, don’t you think?” Connor stood in the wide doorway, looking in at Loris as she sat in the parlor. The sofa was well-used, but sturdy, as were the other remnants of furniture left behind by the owners. A book on her lap had remained open to the same page for more than ten minutes, and she seemed faraway. As if her thoughts were focused on the uncertain future she faced.
He was proved to be right when she turned her head and he caught sight of eyes that almost overflowed with tears. “I’ll bet my folks will never want to see me again.” She looked too sad to be believed, her face drawn and pale, her hands clenched into fists as she brought them from her pockets to scrub at her eyes.
“You’re going to hurt your eyes that way,” he said, walking in the room to settle beside her on the sofa. Reaching out, he gripped her fists in one of his big, wide palms, and then held them to his lips. His mouth made a feast of her skin, his teeth barely touching her knuckles, his tongue tasting a bit of the soapy residue left from the dishes she’d washed.
She looked at him, mournful now. “Connor, I’ve made a real mess of things, haven’t I?” And then her mouth curved a bit. “The funny part is that I’m already attached to my baby. I can’t blame him for any of this. His mama made a big mistake, but I can’t regret that I’m to have a child. Do you think God makes us able to accept the retribution for our sins? In this case, I’ll have a baby without a father, but I’ll certainly do my best to raise him up right, even without grandparents.”
“I think God loves us, Loris. Especially those of us who make mistakes and then regret them as you do. But I also think that He loves every child born into this world, whether it is legitimate or not. The baby will have a name. I’ll see to that.”
“After everything I’ve done to you, how can you want to marry me?” Her words trembled out of her mouth. Her tongue emerged just a bit, touching her top lip, dampening the surface. “I won’t hold you to that,” she said. “If you just stay here and take care of things till the baby comes, I’ll figure out what to do afterwards.”
“I asked you to be my wife last summer. And I meant it. I’ll never walk away, not once you’re my wife. And that means more than just a wedding ceremony. I hope you understand that. I won’t be satisfied with just a good-night kiss. I’d prefer to wish you good-night about an hour after we go to bed. Okay?”
She swallowed convulsively, and he watched as her face flushed, a dark blush that ran down her throat. It was all he could do not to pull open her dress to see where that blush ended.
“Okay, Loris?” He repeated the word, knowing that once she made a commitment to him, she would stand by it. And a lifetime obligation was his goal. If she swore on the Bible he knew she kept by the bed, muttered a word of acquiescence in his direction, or even nodded, he would accept it as holding as much value as the wedding vows themselves.
“Yes. Okay.” And then she frowned. “Why an hour after we go to bed?”
“When I’m done loving you.”
“Loving me?” She seemed to be in a trance, and Connor knew exactly what to do to make her understand his plans. With a smooth turn of his arm, he circled her shoulders and scooted her closer to him on the sofa. Then with another unexpected movement of his body, he carried her to the sofa seat beside her, her head resting on the arm. He leaned over her, his kiss hot and needy, his lips opening over hers.
Unless he was mistaken, she’d not been kissed this way before, for she seemed innocent in her response. And then her own tongue joined with his, stroking his with long slow motions, finally seizing it and suckling with a gentle pressure.
He thought he might explode, and he broke the kiss to view the woman beneath him. She was breathless, and she opened her mouth to breathe. She looked just the way he’d imagined. Her hair was coming undone from the pinned-up mass she’d concocted on the back of her head, and her eyes were wide with wonder.
Well, maybe not wonder, he decided, but at least it was surprise he saw in her face. He’d take surprise for now, and hope for ecstasy some other day. He watched the rise and fall of her breasts, full beneath the bodice of her ordinary dress, and once more he sought the fullness of her lips.
Her dress was dark blue and, when he lifted from the kiss, he thought it matched her eyes almost exactly. How a dress could look so appealing to a man was a question he didn’t stand a chance of solving. For it wasn’t the dress that held him in thrall, but the shapely form of the woman who had donned it this morning and would remove it tonight.
In his bedroom.
“Connor?” She sounded just a bit apprehensive, perhaps even frightened, and he set about putting her at ease.
“I won’t hurt you, Loris. I promise to wait until we’re married to make you my bride. I only want to kiss you a bit and maybe touch you a little. I miss how we used to please each other when we were courting.”
Loris blushed as she remembered, then hesitated. “Y-You won’t hurt me? Will it be different after we’re married? James said—”
She halted abruptly, as if speaking his brother’s name aloud might set off a fuse in Connor. But he knew without her going any further what she wanted to ask. And so he gave her the answer she sought.
“It usually only hurts the first time a woman makes love, Loris. After that, her maidenhead is gone and the pain with it. I’ll not hurt you. I’ll wait until you’re ready for me, and I’ll be careful. Especially with you carrying a baby.”
She blushed again, and he allowed himself the right to view the sight he’d denied himself just a while ago. Her buttons came undone easily, though one hand came up to encircle his wrist as he took his time with the enjoyable task.
“What are you doing?” Her whisper was truly frightened now.
“Looking, sweetheart. Just looking at you. I want to see just how far your blush goes. I’m willing to bet it reaches almost to your belly button.” And then he laughed aloud as the last button gave way and he pulled her vest up to reveal her midriff.
It was pink. Not as rosy as her cheeks, but definitely more so than was her usual color. He pushed it higher and her hand dropped from his wrist and she lay quietly beneath his exploration. The very peaks of her breasts were firm and puckered, whether due to the unveiling he’d instigated or because she was aroused by his kisses, didn’t matter much. It only mattered that he had, one way or another, had an effect on her.
