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Leah turned around slowly searching the quiet street. “I’d love to find him. Are you staying with someone in town? Are you staying at the inn?”
“No. How come you wear such a funny hat?”
“Is my bonnet funny?” Leah asked with a grin.
Joy nodded solemnly.
If she wasn’t familiar with Amish dress, she wasn’t staying with any of the Amish families in the area. That narrowed the number of possibilities. “If you didn’t come to Hope Springs in a buggy, or a car, or a bus, how did you get here?”
“In daddy’s truck.”
“Ah, a truck. How silly of me. Can you show me where the truck is parked?”
Joy looked around. “No. It’s lost.”
Suddenly, Leah heard a man franticly shouting for Joy. “That must be your daddy. Let’s go see him.”
She began walking back the way she had come. She rounded the corner of the building just as Joy’s daddy came running toward her. Leah said, “I have her. She’s okay.”
In the next instant, she was struck speechless as Caleb Mast pulled the child from her arms and held her close, his ragged gasps rising as white puffs in the cold air.
Looking straight at her, he said, “Thank you, Leah.”
He had recognized her, after all. Now what did she do?
Chapter Two
Leah stood rooted to the spot. Caleb had a child. That meant he had a wife, too. He had found happiness and love in the outside world after turning her life upside down. It was so unfair. She couldn’t stop the bitterness that welled up inside.
Caleb’s mother never mentioned he had married or that he had children. Maybe he hadn’t told her. Some outsiders were ashamed of a child who wasn’t normal. Had he become one of those?
Leah quickly pulled herself together. Caleb’s Englisch life was no concern of hers. “She’s fine, only a little frightened.”
Caleb set his daughter on the ground and took her by the shoulders. “What were you doing? Why did you run off?” he demanded.
“I got scared. I wanna go home.” She pushed away from him and covered her ears with her hands.
“Don’t do that! I’m not going to hit you.”
“I’m not bad. I’m not bad.” She flew back to Leah and wrapped her arms around her legs.
He pressed his fingers to his temples and exhaled sharply. “I give up. I don’t know what to do with you.”
Leah laid a protective hand on Joy’s head. “Patience and kindness are the keys to raising a special child. All children are gifts from God, but we believe a child such as Joy is one of His most cherished gifts.”
Caleb’s hands dropped to his sides. He looked...defeated. “I know what the Amish believe. That’s why I’m here. The only reason I’m here.”
She didn’t understand. He tipped his head slightly. A mocking smile lifted one corner of his mouth. “The prodigal son has returned. You don’t look happy to see me.”
She wasn’t. She didn’t care if he knew it. He had changed a great deal in the past nine years. The wild, handsome Amish boy she had known had matured into a tall, rugged-looking man with a muscular frame and deeply tanned skin. He wore his dark hair cut short in the Englisch way, not in the bowl-cut style the men of her community wore. She didn’t remember the small scar that cut through his right eyebrow. How had that happened? It was a faded white line now, not like the jagged red scar that still marred her sister Rhonda’s face.
An accident, caused by Caleb’s recklessness during their teenage years, had cruelly marked her beautiful sister, but it was his later actions that had truly scarred her.
Leah realized he was studying her, too. Watching her with hard, piercing gray eyes that gave away little of what he was thinking. A shiver of awareness raced through her and brought a rush of heat to her face.
His mocking smile widened. “It’s good to see you, Leah. Did you marry my brother, or did you come to your senses in time?”
She stiffened. The hurt was old, but it had never healed. “Your brother married Rhonda.”
“Wayne married your sister? Wow, I didn’t see that coming. Funny how things turn out, isn’t it?”
“Funny? It is far from funny.” She kept the rest of her angry reply bottled inside only because of the child. How dare he mock that terrible time? He’d left her sister unwed and pregnant when he ran off to start a new life among the Englisch.
“Bad choice of words. I’m sorry.”
“Your brother is a man of honor,” she said tartly.
He tensed. “And I’m not, is that what you’re saying? Oh, if only you knew the truth about my brother and his honor.”
“Your deeds speak so loudly that I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
“An Amish proverb for every occasion. I see your quick wit hasn’t changed. I do remember that about you.”
“And I have not forgotten the way you denied your own child. The way you called my sister a liar to her face. You shamed us all.”
* * *
Caleb had held only a faint hope that Rhonda Belier would have admitted the truth sometime during the past nine years. Clearly she hadn’t. He wasn’t the father of her child. They had dated, but they had never been intimate. He had no idea who the father might be.
That Wayne had fallen on the sword of family honor and married her came as a shock. Had his guilt driven him to it? Had Wayne owned up to his past sins, or was he still using Caleb as a handy scapegoat? From Leah’s reaction, Caleb figured he himself still bore all the blame. He struggled to suppress those unpleasant memories. Nothing hurt as much as knowing his family and friends had turned their collective backs on him. No one had believed his side of the story. Not his parents, not even his brother, and that hurt most of all.
Caleb had always been the wild one, the one in trouble, the one eager to rebel against the constraints of their closed community. He had badgered and baited his brother into going to a party where he knew there would be drinking that night. He’d thought Wayne deserved one night of fun before he settled down to marry. Caleb had owned a forbidden car. He’d goaded his brother into driving it. Hours later, when Caleb had learned that Wayne had crashed into Rhonda’s buggy, he had been sick with remorse.
Wayne had managed to make his way home, terrified, almost incoherent with fear and shame. He thought he had killed Rhonda. When Caleb realized that no one knew about the accident, he had quickly gone to the crash site. He’d discovered Rhonda was alive but injured and had summoned help for her. He’d allowed everyone to think he had been the one driving. He had stoically endured the shame heaped on him by his family and the community. He knew he deserved it even if he hadn’t been behind the wheel. He had done it to shield his big brother, the one who could do no wrong in their father’s eyes.
Months later, when Caleb begged Wayne to believe he hadn’t fathered Rhonda’s child, Wayne refused to accept Caleb’s word. It had been the final blow in their relationship.
Caleb shrugged off his resentment. He’d made a choice to come back. Now he had to face the consequences of that decision. Hopefully he wasn’t going to be here long. Leah’s brown eyes fairly snapped with anger. He could see she wanted to say a lot more. He figured the only reason she wasn’t reading him the riot act was because Joy was listening.
He remembered Leah as a skinny girl with wide brown eyes and a tendency to speak her mind. She’d been someone who found the world and everyone in it of interest. She’d seemed an odd pick for his self-righteous brother back then. He’d found it hard to imagine her in love with Wayne.
She certainly wasn’t a skinny kid anymore. Even under her long coat, he could tell she had filled out in all the right places. A black bonnet covered all but the front of her honey-blond hair. Like all Amish women, she wore it parted in the center and coiled into a bun at the back of her head. Amish women never cut their hair.
Her plump cheeks were pink with cold or perhaps her anger. He wasn’t sure which. Had she married? The Amish didn’t believe in jewelry of any kind, not even wedding bands, so he had no way of knowing. What did it matter anyway?
“I don’t know why your sister lied about me. I’m sure she thought she had a good reason.” A lie told for any reason only led to more lies and heartache. He had learned that bitter lesson well.
He turned his attention to his daughter. “Come on, Joy, we should get going. You didn’t put your coat or your shoes on. You’re going to freeze out here.” He reached to pick her up.
She jerked away and hid behind Leah’s skirt. “I don’t wanna go with you. I wanna go to Nana’s house. I don’t like you anymore.”
Leah’s eyes narrowed. A frown creased her brow. He shook his head. Trust Joy to make him look like a bad parent. Leah would have no trouble believing her.
Well, he was a poor excuse for a parent. If he’d learned anything in the weeks since Valerie’s vanishing act, it was that he had no idea how to be a father.
“We’ve had this talk, honey. You can’t go back to Dallas. Nana isn’t there anymore. She’s gone to heaven.” He tried to reason with Joy although he knew it wouldn’t do any good when she got in one of her moods.
“Go away. I want Mama to come get me.”
He threw up his hands. “So do I, but it looks like that’s not going to happen.”
He pressed his lips shut. It wasn’t Joy’s fault Valerie had dumped her like an unwanted dog. He understood how difficult all the changes must be for her, but what choice did they have? “It’s not far to your new grandma’s house. You want to meet her, don’t you?” he asked calmly. He tried again to catch hold of her.
“No!” She pulled away from him and looked up at Leah. “I wanna go home with you.”
He shoved his hands in his coat pockets. “Fine! Guess I get to eat the animal crackers that are in the truck. I’m going to bite the heads off all the elephants.”
Joy glared at him but didn’t rise to his bait. The mulish expression on her face did not bode well. He sighed. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make a connection with her. She hated him.
“Please, Joy. We need to get going. Say thank-you to Leah and come on.”
“No, no, no!” She dropped down on the sidewalk, screaming and kicking her legs.
Now his face flushed with embarrassment as people coming out of the store stopped to stare. He glanced at Leah. What was she thinking? Perhaps it was best that he didn’t know. He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
Her gaze softened slightly. “I’ve seen a temper tantrum or two in my time.”
“Any suggestions on how to deal with them?” He was willing to take any help he could get. He kept a close eye on Joy so she didn’t hurt herself.
“I’m sure as her father you know what’s best for her.”
He ran a hand over his hair. “I’ve been her father for a total of six weeks and three days. Believe me, I have no idea what’s best for her. Pick her up. Don’t pick her up. Let her cry it out, put her in time-out. Ignore her. Distract her. Reason with her. I’ve had all kinds of advice from the two nannies who both quit within a week, from the principal of an expensive private school that wouldn’t take her after the first day, and from her step-grandfather, who said to throw water in her face, it worked for him.”
“Did you?”
He glanced at Leah and saw her regarding him intently. She hadn’t scurried away and left him to deal with the situation alone. His respect for her jumped considerably. Joy continued to kick and scream.
“No. I almost threw water in his face, but I left before I did something I knew I would regret.”
“Very wise. Very Amish. Where’s your truck?”
“On the other side of the store.” He tipped his head in the general direction. He was ex-Amish, not Amish.
Leah bent down and lifted Joy. His daughter wasn’t a lightweight, but Leah had no trouble carrying her. She held the screaming child close and started walking. “We’re going to the truck now, Joy. It will be warmer there. As soon as you calm down, we will talk about what’s upsetting you.”
Caleb followed, happy for once to have someone else take charge. When they reached the truck, he stepped ahead to open the passenger-side door. To his surprise, Leah didn’t deposit Joy inside. Instead, she climbed in and held Joy on her lap.
He walked around to the driver’s side and rescued his scattered groceries from the sidewalk where he’d dropped them when he discovered Joy was missing. Opening his door, he set them behind the driver’s seat on the king cab’s rear bench seat. He climbed in behind the wheel, at a lost as to what to do next.
He wanted to take Joy from Leah, but he was afraid it would make things worse. He started the engine. After a few minutes, warm air filled the cab. He noticed the soothing way Leah rocked Joy and consoled her. Joy’s sobs were growing less dire.
He gripped the steering wheel. His parental shortcomings were laid bare once more. Joy would take comfort from a stranger before she took it from him. At least Leah seemed to know how to handle his daughter. He glanced her way. “Thanks for your help. Again.”
“I do it for the child,” she said primly.
He got the message. “Not for the father who strayed from the Amish fold.”
She looked directly at him. “Nee, not for you.”
* * *
Leah continued to hold and rock Joy until the child calmed down. Spent by her outburst, she rested in Leah’s arms with only occasional hiccupping sobs to break the awkward silence. Leah brushed Joy’s fine, soft hair away from her face and glanced at Caleb. Did he know how blessed he was to have this child?
She was forever comforting, caring for and teaching children who belonged to others. Her profession was a labor of love, a sacred duty, but it wasn’t like having children of her own. The unfairness of it cut deep. She longed to hold her own babe. She didn’t understand why God had chosen this path for her. She could only travel it as best she could and trust in His mercy.
After a few minutes, Joy sat up. She looked at her father. “Can I have an elephant now?”
Caleb reached behind the seat and brought out a red-and-yellow box made to look like a circus wagon, with colorful animals printed on the sides. He handed it to her. There were several similar boxes on the floor of the truck.
He must have noticed Leah’s gaze. “Sometimes they keep her from having a meltdown like the one you just witnessed. I stopped to stock up before heading out to the farm. She was sound asleep when I went in the store. I couldn’t have been gone more than five minutes.”
Leah didn’t want to feel sorry for him, but she couldn’t help it. It was easy to see that he didn’t know how to handle his newly acquired daughter. What was the story behind his cryptic comment about only being a father for six weeks? Had he adopted a special-needs child? Curiosity, often her downfall, prompted her to remain in the truck and learn more about Caleb and Joy.
Joy opened the box and picked out two elephant-shaped cookies. She looked at Leah. “Do you want one?”
Leah held out a hand. “May I have a lion?”
“Okay, sure.” Joy extracted two of them, laid the pair in Leah’s palm and gave her an endearing grin.
Children with Down syndrome were normally happy, gregarious individuals. Leah loved that about them. “What shall we give your daddy?”
“A bear,” Joy said quickly.
Leah glanced at him from the corner of her eye. His daughter’s remark caused a reluctant grin to tug at one side of his mouth. “Is that your way of telling me I’m as grumpy as an old bear?”
Leah leaned over to see Joy’s face. “Is your daddy grumpy?”
“Sometimes.” Cookie crumbs sprayed from her lips. She handed him three bears.
“I get grumpy sometimes, too,” Leah admitted. “So do you. What made you so upset a little while ago?”
The child bowed her head. “I don’t know.”
“I think you do. Your daddy can’t fix things for you if he doesn’t know what’s wrong.”
“He wants me to go away.”
“That’s not true,” Caleb said quickly.
