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“Tristan, stop,” I called out. I looked at his father. “Can I…?”
Mr. Coleman’s gaze flicked down at Nanna’s body, then he nodded.
More pain bloomed inside my chest, trying its best to rob me of air. Part of me screamed that I’d already lost enough, that I needed to hold on to what happiness I could. That I wouldn’t survive losing anything else in my life right now.
But I had to. I’d made two promises now. And it was for his own safety.
I forced my numb feet to carry me over to Tristan. Moss squished beneath my shoes with every step I took, the sound loud enough to be heard now that the storm was nearly gone. It took far too few steps to bring me to the end of the only true love I’d known.
I tried again to memorize Tristan’s face…to see every line across his forehead, the full curves of his lips, now flattened and thinned by anger and guilt and panic, the raindrops dripping from those curls, darkened like antique gold, around his face and clinging to the back of his neck. At the edges of my vision, all around us were reminders of the moments we’d experienced in our shared dreams of this place…so many kisses while lying together on a picnic blanket as we’d talked for hours. The pine trees with their heavy boughs swaying in the storm’s retreat, the way they had swayed around us as Tristan and I had danced together barefoot on the mossy ground. Those same trees had been lit with thousands of tiny Christmas lights for my birthday last November as I’d kissed imaginary red velvet cake from Tristan’s lips.
And now here we were. We’d finally come to the real clearing in the real woods to create another memory. A memory I would never be able to erase, no matter how much I would want to.
He stood as if frozen as I closed the final inches between us. “Sav, I’m so sorry. I never meant for this—”
“I know,” I murmured. “I’m sorry, too. But the council and the Clann are right to want us to stay away from each other. It’s better that way. Safer.”
“No, Sav—”
I pressed cold fingertips to his warm lips, the water sliding down his face and around my fingers like tiny streams flowing around rocks. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see his face when I said the next words. If I did, I might not be able to say what had to be said.
Standing on tiptoe, I kissed his cheek, tasting the raindrops on his skin, lingering so I could inhale his faint cologne mixed with the ozone scent of the rain and feel his warmth against my skin one last time. Then I stepped back, my eyes still closed, holding on to it all as tightly as I could even as I made myself let him go.
“We have to end this. Please don’t try to see me anymore. This is the right thing to do. Someday you’ll understand.”
Before he could say anything to change my mind, I turned and walked out of our woods for the last time. Somehow I kept myself from looking back.
But I already knew I would be spending the rest of my life looking back on today, on the last few months, on every choice I had made, and wondering. What if I had been stronger? If I had only managed to resist the way I felt about him… If I had only followed the rules…
Nanna would still be alive.
CHAPTER 3
The next few minutes while I waited in Dad’s rental car were a blur as the pain finally had its chance to claw through me. At some point an ambulance arrived. It turned around in the driveway then backed up in the yard behind the Coleman home. Two emergency workers got out and unloaded a metal gurney, carrying it into the woods between them. Eventually they came back, slower this time, the gurney between them supporting a bulky black bag.
I looked away then, burying my face against my forearm on the dashboard.
Eventually Dad came back to the car and got in. He sat there for a few seconds in silence. Then he awkwardly patted my back. The attempted comfort from him was so unfamiliar that it was like a little mental shake, reminding me I couldn’t fall apart, not yet. We had to tell Mom first.
Dad started the car and followed the circle drive back to the road. Then we headed for my home.
Nanna’s home.
“Have you called Mom?” I asked, my croaky voice forcing me to clear my throat.
“No.”
“Then don’t, not yet. I don’t want her to hear while she’s driving.”
He checked his watch. “She should be home in half an hour or so.”
Neither of us spoke again until we reached the house.
Every window of my home was dark when we pulled up onto the short, pine needle-blanketed driveway. The descendants had closed the front door but not locked it behind them after taking Nanna against her will. As we entered the house, I cringed, sure the place would be wrecked by a magical fight. But they must have snuck up on her and knocked her out before she had a chance to react. Everything was just as I’d last seen it.
I turned on the living room lamp, grabbed a handful of towels from the linen closet in the hallway and gave Dad a couple so we could dry off. I would change later, after Mom came home. I was afraid to go to my bedroom before we talked; I might give in to the urge to fall apart again.
I sank down onto the piano bench, the only furniture in the room that wasn’t upholstered and wouldn’t get wet from my clothes. Then I toed off my soggy sneakers and peeled off my soaked socks, trying to find any mental distraction that I could.
The house was so silent. It was hardly ever this quiet around here. Usually Nanna would have the TV on in the dining area so she could listen to it while cooking in the kitchen or crocheting in her rocking chair. Or she would be in the living room on the piano, filling the house with hymns as she practiced for church.
I turned to face the upright piano, laying my hands over the keys, feeling their cold, smooth surfaces, so like my skin right now. I’d never noticed before, but the keys in the center around middle C had rougher spots on them from being played more often than the ones at the far ends. I touched the surfaces where Nanna’s fingertips had worn off the finish. Nanna had tried to teach me to play, but I’d never managed to read music well.
There was a cracked, leather-bound hymnal still open on the sheet music ledge. The last thing Nanna had played was “Amazing Grace.” One line seemed to jump off the page at me….
I was blind, but now I see.
I had to get up, get away.
A truck engine rumbled up to the house and died, quickly followed by the slam of a door. Dad and I shared a look.
Mom was home.
I wasn’t ready for this.
My fingers knotted and unknotted, twisting around each other countless times in the few seconds it took her to reach the front door and open it.
Mom blew in like a tiny tornado. “Savannah! Good grief, you’re soaking wet. Did you shower with your clothes on?” Stepping over the threshold, Mom closed her hot-pink-and-brown polka-dotted umbrella, gave it a quick shake over the cement stoop, then rested it against the fake-wood-paneled wall.
She turned to face me, arms open wide for her usual welcome-home hug. But I couldn’t move. My legs seemed locked into place. Her gaze darted to the right, and her smile faded. A tanned hand drifted up to fluff her frizzy bottle-blond hair. “Oh. Hello, Michael. I thought you would just drop Savannah off.”
He nodded his greeting.
Frowning, Mom shut the heavy oak door behind her. “So where’s Nanna? You didn’t call, so I assumed—”
“Mom, you should come sit down,” I interrupted, dreading her reaction and yet needing to get this over with.
She blinked a few times and then eased into the upholstered rocking chair, making its sagging springs creak in protest. Kneeling at her feet on the worn-out green-gold carpeting we’d tried a million times to convince Nanna to let us replace, I held Mom’s hands and tried to figure out how to tell my mom I’d caused her mother’s death.
“Mom, Nanna’s…”
“Oh no,” Mom whispered, her hazel eyes rounding. “They killed her, didn’t they? Didn’t they?” Her voice rose to a shriek. “I knew it! I knew they would murder her someday. Those hateful, spiteful… Oh sweet God. I should have been here, helped protect her. I shouldn’t have been on the road so much. I was gone all the time, I made it so easy for them….”
“No, Mom. It’s my fault,” I blurted out.
“Wh-what?” she whispered.
I couldn’t look at her. I stared at the carpet, and I confessed it all…dating Tristan and hiding it from everyone, the fight Friday night between Dylan and Tristan after dance team practice, the vamp council’s watchers at my school. And then the council’s test in Paris, and getting Tristan home again only to discover we were too late. I couldn’t make my voice any louder than a whisper as I told her how Nanna had died in my arms despite everything Mr. Coleman and Dr. Faulkner had tried, and how the doctor thought Nanna must have had a heart condition for years. And finally, how I had promised both the council and the Clann never to see Tristan again, and then I’d kept that promise and broken up with him.
There was silence in the room as Mom processed it all. Then she jumped to her feet and went to stand by the dark stained bookcase with her back to Dad and me. For long minutes, the only sound was the ticking of the ornately engraved silver-and-red clock on top of the piano and Mom’s harsh, fast breathing.
“Mom?” I felt like a little kid again, so small and scared. I’d never seen her so furious she couldn’t even look at me. I’d always followed the rules, done everything I could to be a good girl. Until this year. Until Tristan. And now I had broken our family apart.
I got to my feet, my cold clothes sticking to my skin. I took two steps in her direction, not daring to move any closer. “Mom, I am so sorry. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t know…I didn’t believe the Clann would ever do something like this. When they found out about you and Dad, all they did was cast you and Nanna out. And the council…taking Tristan like that…” How could I begin to explain how everything had seemed like no big deal, until it had spiraled completely out of control?
“You are your mother’s daughter, aren’t you?” she murmured, her shoulders sagging, and the disappointment, the utter defeat, in her posture was worse than a slap in the face could ever be.
Then she turned toward me, and I could see the tears pouring down her cheeks. I couldn’t hold back my own tears and sobs any longer.
“Come here,” she said, holding out her arms, and I was a first-grader all over again, running into my mother’s embrace for comfort. Only this was no skinned knee or bruise from falling off my bicycle in the street. This was so much more, and I would never be able to make all my mistakes from this year right again.
I told her I was sorry, over and over, even as I knew no amount of apologies would bring Nanna back to us.
“Shh,” she whispered, running a hand over my hair just as she used to do when I was little, but it only made it so much worse because I didn’t deserve to be comforted or forgiven.
She shook her head, filling my nose with her favorite Wind Song perfume, and sighed. “You didn’t know what the Clann was truly capable of because I didn’t want you to know. I tried to shelter you from all that ugliness, just like your grandma tried to shelter us both from her health problems, apparently.” She leaned back, cupped my face between her calloused hands and gave me a sad smile. “I had really hoped you wouldn’t ever have to experience the same troubles your father and I went through. And yet history just keeps on finding a way to repeat itself, doesn’t it?”
She looked over my shoulder at my father and her eyes grew even sadder, which I hadn’t thought possible.
The air whooshed out of her in the heaviest sigh I’d ever heard from her. “Where’s Nanna’s…?”
“It is all being taken care of, Joan,” Dad said with a softness I hadn’t thought him capable of. “Though of course there are other things to discuss when you are ready.”
She nodded. “Savannah, why don’t you go get some dry clothes on. Rest if you feel like it, and tomorrow we’ll talk some more, okay?”
I nodded, so empty and tired now, it was all I could do to drag myself into my room and change into a giant T-shirt to sleep in. I slid under the blankets, my feet bumping against a stack of freshly folded laundry Nanna must have left at the end of my bed for me to put away.
I fell asleep with my fingertips rubbing the soft twisted nubs of the lavender-colored afghan Nanna had crocheted for my sixth birthday.
TRISTAN
I paced the length of my room from the bathroom door to my desk then back again, my fists curling and uncurling. What an unbelievable mess this morning had turned into, and just when I thought I’d finally figured it all out for Savannah and me.
I tried the knob on my bedroom door. An electric jolt zapped my hand, forcing me to let go with a yelp and a curse.
My parents had put one heck of a spell on my door to keep me here. No doubt the window was covered, too.
Would they let me out for dinner? For school tomorrow?
Growling out a sigh, I sat on the edge of my bed and dropped my head into my hands.
I needed to get out of here, get to Savannah. Be there for her while she dealt with all of this. She talked about Mrs. Evans all the time. Her grandma had been like a second mother to her, especially since her mother was on the road all the time. Losing her would be devastating for Savannah. She would need all the support that she could get right now.
I should be there with her. Instead, I was a prisoner in my own bedroom. And because of the other spells my mother had placed on this room years ago, I couldn’t even dream connect with Savannah as long as I was locked up. The only time we’d been able to connect our minds in our sleep was when I camped out in the backyard.
If I smashed my desk chair through my window, would that break the spell on it, too?
A sharp double rap on my door made me jump to my feet.
“Yeah?” I said.
The door swung open. Emily poked her head in. “Hey. Thought I’d see how you’re doing.”
I frowned at her. “How are you able to open the door without getting zapped?”
“Selective spell. Mom set it to work only on you. Don’t try walking through the doorway just because I opened the door, though. The minute your toe hits the threshold, you’ll get thrown back on your butt. And trust me, you’d remember the experience afterward.” At my raised eyebrows, she added, “What, you think you’re the only one around here who’s ever been grounded?”
Grumbling under my breath, I dropped onto the edge of my bed again with my back to her. Man, this sucked. Why couldn’t I have been born into a normal family?
“What in the world are you listening to? Is that…Phil Collins?”
It was. Not that it was any of her business. Rolling my eyes, I leaned over and turned down the volume on my docking station. Then I flopped back on my bed.
“Raiding Dad’s music collection again?” Grinning, she stepped the rest of the way into my room.
I sighed and stared at the ceiling. “Come to gloat that you’re the angel of the family again?”
“Well, it’s not like you make it a hard achievement for me.” She sat down on the corner of the bed nearest the door. “Seriously, little brother. What in the world were you thinking, pulling that stunt out there? Did you really expect the Clann to just roll over and give you whatever you wanted because you threw out an ultimatum?”
“No.” Well, maybe I’d hoped.
“Then what exactly did you think would happen?”
I shrugged. “Either they’d accept Sav and me, or I’d leave the Clann. Just because I was born into this family doesn’t mean I don’t have a choice about anything.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right. Like Mom would just let you quit and throw away all her plans.”
Honestly, I didn’t care what Mom wanted anymore. This was my life, not hers. “Any idea when they’ll let me out of here?”
“I heard Mom on the phone. Sounded like she was leaving a message with the school office. You’re out with the flu for at least a week.”
A whole week?
As I stared at her in disbelief, she added, “They want you to have some time to calm down and see reason. Well, that and for the gossip to die down.”
Unbelievable. They still didn’t get it.
I slammed the heel of my fist against the mattress. “I need out of here now. Savannah just lost her grandma. And no telling what hell she’ll be catching from her parents, too. She needs me to be there for her.”
“Well, I guess she’ll just have to face Hades on her own for a while, because you’re not getting out of here anytime soon.”
I cursed loudly. Emily didn’t even flinch.
“You know, you could get out sooner.”
That got my attention. “How?”
“Just tell Mom what she wants to hear. Tell her you’re sorry, and you were wrong, and you still want to become the next Clann leader.”
