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He glared at her contemptuously as though her ignorance was another poisonous barb to his pride.
Her chin lifted defiantly. ‘I think I have the right to know what I’ve been a victim of.’
‘JQE was his stepfather’s company,’ he finally in formed her in a bitterly mocking tone. ‘He believes I could have saved it and chose not to. The man died of a heart attack soon after I secured the liquidator’s fee.’
Stepfather! ‘Was his surname different to Jake’s?’
‘Of course it was! If I’d had any idea they were related, he would never have been employed by me.’
‘How long has he been working in your company?’
‘Six years! Six damnable years of worming his way through my files, wanting to nail me to the wall!’
A man with a mission…James Bond… Dark and dangerous…
Her instincts had been right at their first meeting, but she hadn’t heeded them, hadn’t wanted to.
‘Could you have saved his stepfather’s company, Dad?’ she asked, wanting to know if the mission was for justice or some twisted form of vengeance. Jake had loved his stepfather, possibly the only father he had known.
‘The man was an idiot, getting in over his head,’ her father snarled. ‘Even with help he was in no state to rescue anything. His wife was dying of cancer. Trying to hang on was stupid.’
A judgement call. Had it been right or a deliberate choice for her father to make a profit out of it, charging huge fees to carry out the liquidation process?
What was the truth?
Laura knew she wouldn’t get it from her father. He would serve his own ends. Always had.
As for Jake, he must have been totally torn up with grief when the seeds of his mission had been sown—his mother dying of cancer, his stepfather driven into bankruptcy and dying of a heart attack. It must have been a terribly traumatic time, having to bury both parents in the midst of everything being sold up around him. She had sensed the darkness in him, seen signs of it, heard it in his voice that first day in the garden when he’d described the terrible downside of bankruptcy, but hadn’t known how deep it went, hadn’t known that she was connected to it by being her father’s daughter.
The bottle of Scotch took another hit. A furious finger stabbed at her again. ‘Don’t you dare take his side in this bloody whistle-blowing or you are out of this house, Laura! He used you. Used you to show me up as even more of a fool for trusting him with my daughter.’
Had that been Jake’s intention behind tempting her into an affair? An iron fist squeezed her heart. He’d controlled every aspect of their meetings, kept their involvement limited to Saturday nights. Had he been secretly revelling in having her whenever he called? Because of who she was?
‘What there was between us is over,’ she said flatly.
‘It had better be, my girl!’ Threat seethed through every word. ‘If he contacts you…’
‘He won’t.’ Laura was certain of it. He had been saying goodbye on Sunday morning.
‘Don’t bet on it! It would be an extra feather in his cap if he sucked you in again.’
‘He won’t,’ she repeated, sick to her soul. She’d loved him, truly deeply loved him, and the thought of having been used to drive a dagger further into her father was devastating.
‘You be damned sure of it, Laura, because if I ever find out otherwise, you’ll pay for it!’
‘I’m sure.’
‘You’re looking sick around the gills. He got to you all right.’
The savage mutter was followed by another hefty swig of Scotch.
‘I’m not feeling well,’ her mother said shakily. ‘Will you help me up to my bedroom, Laura?’
‘’Course I will.’ She quickly moved off the arm-rest to give support.
‘Running away as usual,’ her father said scathingly. ‘We’ll be living with this hanging over our heads for months, Alicia. No escaping it.’
‘It’s just the shock, Dad,’ Laura threw back at him. ‘Mum needs some recovery time.’
‘Recovery! I’ll never recover from this! Never! That bastard has me hamstrung!’
Not for nothing, Laura thought as she helped her mother from the room. Jake must have presented a considerable body of hard evidence against her father for him to be suspended from practice. And had still been gathering it while he was seeing her on the side.
She needed recovery time, too.
Her mother felt terribly frail. Laura put her to bed and tucked the doona around her. ‘It’s not your fault, either, Mum,’ she said gently.
The pale blue eyes were teary and fearful. She grasped Laura’s hand. ‘I don’t think I can bear it if your father is home every day.’
‘You don’t have to. Eddie would take you in. You have only to ask.’
She shook her head fretfully. ‘It wouldn’t be fair on him. You don’t understand, Laura. Your father wouldn’t tolerate my leaving him. He’d…do something.’
Laura hated the fear but she knew there was no reasoning against it. She and Eddie had tried many times. ‘Well, I don’t think Dad will be at home all the time. He’ll be out networking with people, fighting this situation with everything in his power.’
‘Yes. Yes, he will. Thank you, Laura. I’m sorry…sorry that Jake…’
‘Let’s not talk about him. You just rest, Mum.’
She kissed the slightly damp forehead and left the room before her own tears welled up and spilled over—tears of hurt and shock and grief that pride had insisted she hold back in front of her father. And her mother.
In the safe haven of her bedroom she wept until she was totally drained of tears. Her mind was wiped blank for a long time as she lay in limp misery, but gradually it began to turn over everything that had happened between her and Jake in the light of what she now knew and it kept coming back to the one line that felt critically important—the line he’d spoken after their first kiss in the garden.
I don’t want to want you.
But he had.
He most definitely had wanted her, and quite possibly not because of who she was but in spite of who she was.
Which made a huge difference to her father’s interpretation of Jake’s conduct where she was concerned.
It meant she was not part of his vengeance plot.
She was an innocent connection to the man whom he saw as the prime cause of the darkest time of his life. The words he’d used describing bankruptcy came back to her—lives crumbling, futures shattered, depression so dark there is no light. The emotional intensity that had surprised her in that forceful little speech had obviously erupted from personal experience.
Looking back, she began to make much more sense of how Jake had run their affair, always keeping the end in sight, ensuring their involvement was limited, not escalating into something too serious. He’d known it was ill-fated from the start, but he’d found her as irresistible as she’d found him and he’d taken the small window of opportunity for them to enjoy each other before circumstances made it impossible.
It’s been good. Thank you.
He hadn’t been using her.
They’d both chosen to give themselves the pleasure of mutual desire and it had been good. The more Laura reasoned it out, the more she believed the journey they’d taken together was completely separate from the road Jake had been travelling to put her father out of business.
She remembered the intensity of his love-making on Saturday night, the long passionate kiss before they left the hotel room, the flat darkness—no…light—of his eyes as he touched her cheek in the taxi.
Maybe he hadn’t wanted to say goodbye.
Maybe he loved her as deeply as she loved him.
Maybe he just couldn’t see a future for them, given what he was about to do.
That might be true…or it might not.
It depended on how much he felt for her.
She had to see him, talk to him, find out the truth.
CHAPTER ELEVEN (#u88344777-0a29-5978-86f6-4112556745ea)
LAURA wished she could have borrowed Eddie’s car to tour the streets of Woollahra, looking for the houses that were being renovated, noting them down for further investigation. It would have been the most time efficient way of searching for Jake’s current home, but she knew her brother would not have been sympathetic to her quest. Better not to ask. Better to go on foot, however long it took.
When she’d broken the news to Eddie, he’d leapt to the same interpretation of Jake’s interest in her as her father, being quite smug about having been right that Laura should never have gone there, right about Jake having a mission, too. The latter was impossible to deny, but Laura could not set aside the need to go there again.
At least Eddie had taken their mother out today, giving her a break from the wretched tensions at home. It left Laura enough free time to cover a fair bit of ground in her search, though it was now Sunday—no tradesmen’s trucks around to mark possibilities. After three hours of walking one street after another, and feeling somewhat dispirited at her lack of success, she decided to take a break for lunch and give her feet a rest.
Heading up another street that led to a public park where she could sit and eat her home-made sandwiches, Laura could hardly believe her eyes when she actually spotted Jake. He was on the upstairs balcony of a terrace house, painting the iron-lace railings—the same shade of green as the front door and the window frames. It was a rich forest green that looked really good against the old red bricks of the house.
He looked good, too, a fact her heart was registering by thumping painfully. She stood still, staring up at him, wracked by a terrible uncertainty now that the moment of truth was at hand. Was she being an utter fool, coming to him like this? So what if she was, she fiercely argued to herself. A sharp dose of humiliation wouldn’t kill her. And she wasn’t about to die wondering, either.
His head lifted, his gaze suddenly swinging to her as though some invisible force had drawn it. ‘Laura!’ He spoke her name in a tone of angst, jerking up from his crouched position on the balcony, frowning down at her. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I need to talk to you,’ she blurted out.
He shook his head. ‘It won’t do you any good.’ His gaze shot to a van parked on the other side of the street. ‘That’s been here since Wednesday. I’d say your father has me under surveillance and he won’t like getting a report of your coming to me. Just keep walking and maybe nothing will come of it.’
Her father’s threat jangled through her mind—you’ll pay for it.
Right now Laura didn’t care. Jake had just proved his caring for her. That was more important than anything else. Or was he just trying to get her out of his life again as fast as possible?
‘I have to know,’ she said with immovable determination. ‘I won’t go until you lay out the truth to me.’
A pained grimace twisted his mouth as his hand waved in a sharp, dismissive gesture. ‘You already know it had to come to an end. Remember it for what it was and move on.’
‘What was it, Jake?’
‘You know that, too,’ he shot back at her.
‘No, I don’t. You kept me in the dark about what meant most to you. I don’t know if it gave you a thrill to have me while plotting to bring my father down, if I was some kind of sweet icing on the cake for you. I want to know that before I move on.’
Jake stared at the woman he should never have touched, his mind torn by the deep hurt emanating from her. She was still the most beautiful, most desirable woman he’d ever known, quite possibly would ever know, and he hated having to part from her. It had to be done, but did it have to be done with her mind poisoned against what they’d shared?
He wanted her to have a good memory of him, not a bitter one. Yet how was he to soothe the hurt and protect her from her father’s wrath at the same time? The surveillance man was surely watching, taking note of this encounter. The longer it went on, the worse it would be for Laura at home.
‘There’s a public park at the end of this street,’ he said, pointing the direction as though she had asked for it.
‘I know!’ she cried in exasperation. ‘Can’t you just answer me?’
He shot a warning look at the van. ‘I’ll meet you there when I’ve finished this painting. Go, Laura. Go now.’
He turned his attention to the work in hand, bending down to the tin of paint again, hoping the intense urgency in his voice would spur her into moving away from him. After a few moments’ hesitation that tied his gut into knots, she did walk on, hopefully proving there was nothing in this meeting worth reporting.
He maintained a steady pace with the brushwork, exhibiting no haste to finish the job. It gave him time to think, time to reason out he should keep his answers to Laura short, avoid the tempting impulse to take her in his arms and prove his passion for her had been real, was still real. The ache in his groin had to be ignored. This meeting had to be limited to setting her straight, then letting her go. Anything else could not be sustained in the climate of her father’s venomous animosity.
The narrow alley that ran along the back of this row of terraces allowed him to leave his house unobserved. He would return the same way. A last meeting. No more.
He does care for me. He does.
It was like a chant of joy in Laura’s mind, making every step towards the park a light one for her tired feet. Jake would have no reason at all to give himself the trouble of meeting with her if she meant nothing to him. If she’d been part of his vendetta against her father, he would have shamed her in the street. He had certainly not been amused by her coming to him nor titillated by his power to draw her. He’d been pained by her presence, reminding him of what they’d shared, what he’d been trying to shut out as finished.
Except it wasn’t.
Not for her and not for him.
The connection was too strong to obliterate.
Laura was sure of it.
She found a park bench under a tree and sat down to wait, not bothering to unpack the sandwiches in her handbag. Her heart was too full of other needs for eating to be a priority anymore. Jake would come to her soon—Jake, whom she loved…whom she would always love. Did he feel the same way about her? Was it only the situation with her father that had driven him to break it off with her?
She had no idea how long she waited. Her mind was obsessed with finding some way to continue their relationship—safe places to meet, secret places, whatever it took for their journey not to end. When she spotted him approaching her at a fast stride she leapt to her feet, barely quelling the urge to run to him and fling her arms around his neck. Talking had to come first, she told herself, though if he wrapped her in his embrace…
He didn’t. There was no smile on his face, no joy at seeing her, no sexy twinkle in his eyes. When he reached her he took hold of her hands, squeezing them as though to prevent any other touching. ‘I never meant you to be hurt, Laura,’ he said gruffly. ‘I thought we could simply satisfy ourselves with the pleasures we could give each other. None of that had anything to do with your father. It was all about you, the woman I wanted to be with, not whose daughter you are.’
His thumbs were dragging across the skin on the back of her hands, wanting his words to sink in, go deep, expel the nastiness of the motivation that her father had given him. The earnest sincerity in his voice, the blaze of need to convince her in his eyes… Laura believed he spoke the truth. She wanted to believe.
‘You should have told me what you were about to do, Jake,’ she blurted out. ‘It wouldn’t have been so bad if you’d told me.’
His mouth twisted into a rueful grimace. ‘I didn’t want to spoil our last night together, bringing your father into it, bringing my family background into it. And telling you wasn’t going to change anything.’
‘It would have prepared me.’
‘Yes. I see that now. I’m sorry. I thought you’d understand. What we had was time out of time, Laura.’ He squeezed her hands hard. ‘You must let it go and move on.’
‘I don’t want to, Jake. It was too good to let go. You must feel that, too,’ she pleaded.
He jerked his head in a sharp negative. ‘There’s no way. Your father will see to that and bucking him would make things much worse for both you and your mother. You told me she needs you. And you still have to get your uni degree for the career you want. Any association with me will cost you too much.’
If he was under surveillance… Yes, it would be too risky. The tensions at home were volatile enough already. Yet letting this connection she felt with Jake go… Everything inside her railed against giving it up.
