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Further Confessions of a GP
Benjamin Daniels
Benjamin Daniels is back. He may be older, wiser and more experienced, but his patients are no less outrageous.Drawing on his time working as a medical student, a locum, and a general practitioner, Dr Daniels would like to introduce you to …The old age pensioner who can’t keep his hands to himself.The teenager convinced that he lost his virginity and caught HIV sometime between leaving a bar and waking up in a kebab shop.A female patient Dr Daniels recognises from his younger, bachelor years.The woman whose mobile phone turns up in an unexpected place.A Jack Russell with a bizarre foot fetish.Crackhead Kenny.Not to mention the super nurses, anxious parents, hypochondriacs, jumpy medical students and kaleidoscope of care workers that make up Dr Daniels’ daily shift.Further Confessions of a GP is the eagerly anticipated follow-up to the bestselling Confessions of a GP. With more eyebrow-raising stories from the world of general practice, Dr Daniels will once again amuse, shock and surprise.You’ll never feel the same about going to the doctor again…
Further Confessions of a GP
DR BENJAMIN DANIELS
Disclaimer (#u305ef69c-c570-58ae-a7fc-8c02eeb06cd6)
The events described in this book are based on my experiences as a GP. For obvious reasons of privacy and confidentiality I have made certain changes, altered identifying features and fictionalised some aspects. Nonetheless, it remains an honest reflection of life as a doctor in Britain today. This is what it’s like. These things really happen!
This book is dedicated to my family and to coffee. If it wasn’t for my family the book would have been finished a year earlier. If it wasn’t for coffee, it wouldn’t have been finished at all.
Contents
Title Page (#ufa40295f-37c3-55cd-a043-69f79f2a5695)
Disclaimer
Dedication (#u5cbf62b8-99da-595b-b0e9-33ace4afe08a)
Introduction
First day
Sarah
Crackhead Kenny I
Maggie I
Brian and Deidre
Maggie II
Communication skills
Maggie III
Maggie IV
Can’t be too careful
Crackhead Kenny II
Army medical I
Tummy aches
Glass test
Mr Lorenzo
Pseudoseizures
Antibiotic resistance
Diabetes
Tarig I
Is the quality of NHS care really declining?
Jimmy Savile
Nathan
Army medical II
Betty Ferrari
Smelly bum
Tarig II
Should we know how much health care costs?
Danni I
The NHS, the envy of the world?
Don’t look down
Mrs Patrick
Danni II
Unnoticed
Man flu
Medical students
Taking benefits away from addicts
Stuck in the middle
Danni III
Funny X-ray
The coroner
Mr Goodson
Mr Raymond
Hannah
Ted
Should we name and shame doctors who make mistakes?
Pseudocyesis
Playing God
Simon
Removing patients from lists
Bravery
Foreign bodies
Retrieving the gerbil
The chemical cosh
Medical science
Gastric bypass
Karen’s baby
Notes
Nurses I
Nurses II
Paradise
Yes/No
David
Hospital deaths
Sinbad
John
How doctors die
Rita
Neighbours
Letter to myself, 10 years ago
Further Confessions of a GP is part of the bestselling ‘Confessions Series’. Also available
About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)
Also by Dr Benjamin Daniels
Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher
Introduction (#u305ef69c-c570-58ae-a7fc-8c02eeb06cd6)
‘Oh, and just one more thing, Doc, before I go. I’m reading this book …’ With that my patient pulled out a copy of Confessions of a GP from his bag. ‘Have you read it?’
‘No,’ I lied, then added bravely, ‘Is it any good?’.
‘It’s all right, I suppose. Could definitely be a lot funnier and the author comes across as a bit of a self-righteous prat at times. I’ll lend it to you once I’ve finished it, if you like?’
‘Nah, you’re all right.’
I wrote Confessions of a GP a few years ago, all about my experiences as a newly qualified GP. Partly due to the witty anecdotes and insightful social commentary, but mostly due to the extremely low pricing of the ebook version, it sold surprisingly well, and so I decided to write this sequel. I penned the first book while working as a nomadic locum doctor. I have now settled as a partner in an inner city practice and I also work a regular shift each week in our local A&E department.
These are my further confessions.
First day (#u305ef69c-c570-58ae-a7fc-8c02eeb06cd6)
‘You’re not Dr Bailey.’
‘No, Dr Bailey’s wife had a stroke yesterday and he is taking some time off to help care for her.’
‘But who’s going to look after me?’
‘Well, I’m going to be looking after Dr Bailey’s patients while he’s away.’
‘You’re no good,’ Mrs Patrick huffed, looking me up and down. ‘You don’t even know me. I always see Dr Bailey. When’s he coming back?’
‘I don’t know. His wife is really quite poorly.’