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Confessions of a GP
Benjamin Daniels
THE UK’S BESTSELLING EBOOK OF 2011.Benjamin Daniels is angry. He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can't remember why he's come to see the doctor. A woman with a common cold demanding (but not receiving) antibiotics. A man with a sore knee. A young woman who has been trying to conceive for a while but now finds herself pregnant and isn't sure she wants to go through with it. A 7-year-old boy with 'tummy aches' that don't really exist.These are his patients.Confessions of a GP is a witty insight into the life of a family doctor. Funny and moving in equal measure it will change the way you look at your GP next time you pop in with the sniffles.
Confessions of a GP
Dr Benjamin Daniels
Copyright
The Friday Project
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd. 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)
This ebook first published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2010
Copyright © Benjamin Daniels 2010
Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd. 2013
Benjamin Daniels asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins ebooks
HarperCollinsPublishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication
Source ISBN: 9781906321888
Ebook Edition © DECEMBER 2013 ISBN: 9780007399345
Version: 2016-10-05
Disclaimer
The events described in this book are based on my experiences as a new GP. For obvious reasons of privacy and confidentiality I have made certain changes, altered identifying features and fictionalised some aspects, but it remains an honest reflection of life as a young doctor in Britain today. This is what it’s like. These things really happen!
Table of Contents
Cover (#u08dc815e-3258-582a-8ede-10dc2f5393c5)
Title Page (#u1850b940-ee94-5a5f-935e-76637698e8e8)
Copyright (#u6e210830-71d8-51ae-9093-0d694836bd33)
Disclaimer (#u349fff39-aaa0-5000-807d-9c7c944dc93b)
Who am I? (#u46fac3e2-84cb-580f-adc1-887295df0cd1)
Introduction (#uad5152f8-1fee-57e9-8456-d5d2d1792c9d)
Mrs Peacock (#uc8f6616c-a319-5eca-a7ed-aa0a5613377c)
Tom Jones (#u72445b0b-f37a-571b-8ff9-e206a9465b31)
Targets (#u8d6ec4c9-72ef-58f9-8029-d056782fa95d)
First day (#u0097be57-ff85-5ac4-8d78-69045bb5aa33)
Jargon (#u75c34665-4098-5266-b95f-d86cabc357d1)
Proud to work for the NHS (#u670f00bb-128c-53b3-8f7d-d287eddfb078)
Drug reps (#u82367ec3-7ee6-51fd-9552-2255f6dbb9dc)
Mr Tipton, the paedophile (#u1ae0defb-52b1-52eb-afb7-dd687d83109d)
Average day (#u800d2464-7f5d-5bb4-a0f9-b0059a317378)
Tara (#u55bc419f-4285-5d58-a71a-cbdf0ed03f92)
Sex in the surgery (#u83244304-03e3-562d-950d-f9edc9b12da9)
The elderly (#u34a43b41-a4e7-5605-8053-a2324861bd82)
Bums (#ude32d381-0a72-529a-8036-bfd32f78ba91)
Julia (#u1d855935-3810-5882-9977-6685d42471a8)
Good doctors (#ud882a432-2b86-5ab8-a423-6c38f4c50fdf)
Connor (#ub9532bf2-0761-589c-837b-38dc6aa40c5e)
Janine (#uc0a7b5fc-6d3d-58ff-86e3-0cb0af4ca1a4)
Saving lives (#u7a6cec45-ec15-56c7-8496-3679c0e69a7a)
Kirsty, the trannie (#u272b21db-f9ce-5dd6-8e93-4c9de4a11c67)
‘It’s my boobs, Doc’ (#ufc857fed-b8a0-586c-b09e-67369480cd6c)
Mr Hogden (#uf4ce8bfb-9ca7-5382-8151-89b97d1b81af)
Small talk (#litres_trial_promo)
Notes (#litres_trial_promo)
Lists (#litres_trial_promo)
Ten minutes (#litres_trial_promo)
Alf (#litres_trial_promo)
Meningitis (#litres_trial_promo)
Uzma (#litres_trial_promo)
Africa (#litres_trial_promo)
Evidence (#litres_trial_promo)
Carolina (#litres_trial_promo)
Lee (#litres_trial_promo)
Hugging (#litres_trial_promo)
Tough Life Syndrome (#litres_trial_promo)
Mrs Briggs (#litres_trial_promo)
Betty Bale’s cat (#litres_trial_promo)
Vaccines (#litres_trial_promo)
Darryl (#litres_trial_promo)
The pat dog (#litres_trial_promo)
Rina (#litres_trial_promo)
Dos and don’ts (#litres_trial_promo)
Home births (#litres_trial_promo)
Michael (#litres_trial_promo)
Alternative medicine (#litres_trial_promo)
Thai bride (#litres_trial_promo)
Dead people (#litres_trial_promo)
Holistic earwax (#litres_trial_promo)
Obesity register (#litres_trial_promo)
Dr Arbury (#litres_trial_promo)
Body fluids (#litres_trial_promo)
Racism (#litres_trial_promo)
Sleep (#litres_trial_promo)
Magic wand (#litres_trial_promo)
Cannabis (#litres_trial_promo)
Sick notes (#litres_trial_promo)
Drug reps … again (#litres_trial_promo)
Mistakes … I’ve made a few (#litres_trial_promo)
Dying (#litres_trial_promo)
Happy pills (#litres_trial_promo)
Top 1 per cent of the population (#litres_trial_promo)
Computers (#litres_trial_promo)
Kieran (#litres_trial_promo)
Peter (#litres_trial_promo)
Granny dumping (#litres_trial_promo)
Aggressive conduct disorder (#litres_trial_promo)
Ed (#litres_trial_promo)
Camouflage man (#litres_trial_promo)
Memories (#litres_trial_promo)
Fighting (#litres_trial_promo)
Class (#litres_trial_promo)
Tingling ear syndrome (#litres_trial_promo)
Gary (#litres_trial_promo)
Beach medicine (#litres_trial_promo)
