скачать книгу бесплатно
“I’m not alone. If I have a problem, there’s always someone around to help me.”
“Is that why you moved back here?”
“Yes. It wasn’t easy, but like you, I’d just as soon not discuss it. We can both have our secrets.” Which she knew wasn’t a good basis for a marriage, but she was determined to protect herself. Being the only one opening up in a relationship wasn’t good. She’d lived through that kind of relationship once before, and she wouldn’t do it again.
They quickly finished shopping and checked out. Walking to the car, Zoey was aware of people watching them, a few whispering to the person next to them. The people of Sweetwater meant well and cared about her and her family, but their interest was making the situation even more awkward than it already was.
At the car she said, “I forgot to ask earlier. You can drive if you want.”
His eyes clouded. “No, I’m not familiar with the town yet, and it has been a while since I was behind the wheel of a car.”
Dane had always insisted on driving before. He didn’t like anyone else driving when he was in the car. This change surprised Zoey, but she kept her thoughts to herself as she backed out of the parking space and headed toward the coffee shop on Second Street.
“You can wait in the car. I’ll get this,” Dane said as though he needed to show his independence.
Zoey watched her husband walk into the shop, say a few words to the lady behind the counter, then wait for her to fill his order. Zoey took deep breaths, but her chest still felt tight. Again, the feeling they were only polite strangers assailed her. How did they get past that? She couldn’t see going through the rest of her life skirting certain issues, pretending nothing was wrong when everything was.
Please, Lord, I feel so lost. I need Your help. What do I do now?
Nothing came to mind. Her shoulders slumped, and she rested her forehead on the steering wheel. She felt like the Hebrews wandering in the desert looking for their home. Lost. Alone. Miles and miles of barren land before her.
The sound of the door opening jolted her, and she straightened. Dane slid into the front seat, his expression unreadable.
“Dane, before we get to the soccer fields, I want you to know there will be a lot of people there and they’ll be curious about you and what happened. A few may even ask questions.”
“I can’t stop them from asking.” A half grin slipped across his mouth. “Thanks for warning me.”
“They’ll mean well.”
“I know.”
“They’ll just be concerned about me.”
“And they don’t think I am?”
Her grip on the steering wheel strengthened until pain shot up her arms. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what you think anymore. Everything has changed.” She started the car and pulled out onto the road.
A heavy silence greeted that declaration. Tension mounted in the car, and it took all Zoey’s concentration to keep herself focused enough to drive to the soccer fields. She felt as though she were in an intense struggle—for her marriage, for her future—all in the span of fifteen hours.
“I know, but—” He couldn’t complete his sentence, his words dissolving into that uncomfortable silence.
She parked the car. “It looks like Blake’s game is about to start. We’d better hurry.”
“I’ll be along in a sec,” came Dane’s clipped response.
She climbed from the car and strode toward the bleachers, feeling the drill of Dane’s gaze into her back. A shiver flashed up her spine, and she rubbed her arms. Still the cold embedded itself deep in her bones. She sat next to Jesse Blackburn and offered her friend a smile that died instantly.
“Your mother called me and told me everything.” Jesse took her hand and squeezed it.
Zoey pictured her mom on the phone all morning before they had dropped off the girls, spreading the news to Zoey’s circle of friends that Dane had returned from the dead.
“I know it can’t be easy for you. Anytime you want to talk I’m here for you. We all are—Darcy, Beth, Tanya.”
“I know.” Zoey gulped, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat that made speaking difficult.
“I’ll try to fend off these vultures.” Jesse glanced around her.
“Shh,” Zoey said with a shaky laugh. “Don’t say that too loud.”
“It’s true. They’ve all been waiting for you to come. Your mom said it didn’t go well with Blake.”
Zoey found her son on the field with Alex Stone, the high school principal, who coached her son’s team. “No, it didn’t.”
“Honey, I’m sorry. I wish I could do something to make it all better.”
Alex clasped Blake on the shoulder and leaned down to say something to her son. Zoey dragged her gaze away from the pair, praying one day that Dane and Blake would regain the close relationship they’d once had. “My problem now is how do I make this all better for my son.”
“Be there for him. Like you were when you thought he’d lost his father.”
A deep sigh escaped Zoey’s lips. She remembered the long struggle after Dane’s disappearance with Blake resisting any attempt at help. A bone-tired weariness blanketed her as she thought of the path ahead of her—and Dane.
Her husband was back, but for how long? It had taken her a long time to learn to stand on her own two feet after he’d disappeared. She’d married Dane right after college and had never really been on her own until she’d been forced to with his disappearance. Over the past few years she had slowly learned to depend only on herself. She would hold this family together somehow, but she would keep her heart guarded.
Dane eased down next to her. She wanted to take his hand and hold it, to convey her support, to begin to forge a future for them, but his closed expression stopped her. She trained her gaze on the field to watch the start of the game, the tension between her and Dane razor sharp. He had pulled into himself even further. She suspected to protect himself. It was something he was quite good at doing. And it was something she was going to have to learn to do if she was going to survive this upheaval.
Toward the end of the first half Dane leaned close and whispered, “The coach is very good with our son.”
“Yes, Alex is. Blake can count on him.”
“But not me?”
Zoey pulled back and looked long and hard at Dane. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. I wasn’t there for Blake when he obviously needed it. I’m glad someone was. I just wished it had been me.”
This time she did take his hand. “So do I.”
“But it wasn’t me, Zoey.”
“Dane—”
He forced a smile to his lips. “Maybe I should ask this Alex for pointers. I’m certainly going to need them with my own son.”
Suddenly Zoey felt conscious of the people around them listening to their conversation. She pressed her lips together and resolved to pursue this discussion later even if Dane’s expression was now cloaked, as though he regretted that brief glimpse of vulnerability.
At the half, the people around them introduced themselves to Dane and welcomed him to Sweetwater. He evaded their questions about where he had been and what he had been doing. Keeping secrets, holding himself apart from others, came so effortlessly and naturally to him that Zoey didn’t know if he could truly be a member of a family or a small town like Sweetwater.
When Wilbur Thompson kept wanting to know what he’d been up to these last few years, Zoey knew living in a small town was going to propose a lot of problems for Dane. Dallas had suited him well because he could get lost in a crowd. Sweetwater would eat him up alive because many people like Wilbur didn’t take no comment for an answer.
Finally Dane looked Wilbur in the eye and said, “I can’t help you, Mr. Thompson.”
Wilbur opened his mouth to pursue the subject, stared at the diamond-hard expression in Dane’s eyes, and clamped his lips together with a snort. The older man went back to sit at the top of the bleachers next to his wife, clearly not pleased that his curiosity hadn’t been appeased.
Zoey was thankful when the second half started, and everyone sat down again. Jesse decided to join Dane on the other side of him so he was between her and Zoey.
“Just in case anyone else wants to pry. They’ll have to crawl over me to get to you,” Jesse whispered, loud enough that many of the people heard. A few laughed.
“I thank you for your assistance. I didn’t relish getting into a fight the first day in town, especially with a man thirty years my senior.”
“And since Wilbur’s son is the police chief, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea. That man thinks everyone’s business is his. He fancies himself an amateur detective because of his son’s profession. He says it runs in his genes.”
“Is that a warning?”
“Well, I guess it is. Wilbur’s son, Zach, even tried to court Zoey a while back. Finally he gave up. He’s not like his daddy. He knows when to cut his losses and move on, thank goodness.”
Zoey was wondering if she could stuff a sock in her friend’s mouth. Jesse was way too informative, but then she always knew what was going on in Sweetwater, sometimes before the people involved.
Dane grinned. “I know that if I need any help you’re the one to come to.”
“Yep. I’ve always been there for Zoey. Been her friend since grade school. We lost touch when she was in Dallas, but now that she’s back, we’ve picked up where we left off as though a day hasn’t passed. I’m the one who encouraged her to apply for the counseling job at the high school. She needed something to do and she’s really good at helping the students.”
“Jesse,” Zoey cut in, “how’s your son doing?”
Jesse leaned around Dane, a puzzled expression on her face. “Zoey, he’s right there on the field next to Blake. He’s fine.”
“Yes, I see. But didn’t you say he was having trouble with his ears?”
Jesse waved her hand. “That was last week. He’s on medication again for another ear infection, but he’s much better.”
Dane straightened, his attention focused on Blake moving down the field toward the goal. Their son paused, aimed and kicked the ball. It shot toward the goal. The goalie dove for it but missed it by a few inches. Both Zoey and Dane leaped to their feet, cheering when the ball sailed between the goal posts for a score.
“He’s good,” Dane said, beaming at Zoey.
“He loves to play ever since he moved here. You should have seen him that first year. He—” The look of pain that flashed across Dane’s face halted her words. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, I’m the one who is sorry. I want you to feel free to talk about what our children have done in the past. How else will I get to know them now if you don’t?” He moved in close and continued in a low voice, “The same goes for you and what you’ve been doing. It was nice listening to what Jesse had to say. It makes me realize you and I need to spend some time alone talking about what you’ve done the past few years.”
What I’ve been doing, but not you? His presence overpowered her, her senses inundated with his nearness. Zoey wanted to back away from Dane, but she didn’t. She didn’t want the townspeople to hear any of their conversation. “Will you share your life for the past few years, too?”
A shadow furrowed his brow. “There’s really nothing to share. I survived the crash and finally remembered who I was. I lived with good people who took me in. I learned to live in an environment very different from here without any trappings of civilization.”
She touched his arm, vaguely aware that people were staring at them, that the soccer game had continued. She didn’t care. “Sharing that is a beginning.” She sat, and Dane sat next to her on the bench. “I think your idea about talking is a good one. I’ll see if Mom can watch the children tonight. We can go out to dinner.”
“A date?”
“Yes. We may be married, but there’s so much we don’t know about each other.”
“Zoey, don’t expect me—”
She took his hand, stopping his words. “We have to start somewhere. For the children’s sake.”
“How about our own?”
His question, unanswered, hung in the air between them. Zoey wanted to hope one day they could capture the emotions they’d had when they’d first married before real life had intruded, before his work had taken him away from her and thrown up a wall between them that she couldn’t seem to scale, even now. But she was a realist now, and she didn’t know if that was possible.
Mandy clapped. “I won! I won!”
Dane began to put the pieces of the board game back in the box. “Did anyone ever tell you how lucky you are, young lady?”
“Yes, Mommy all the time.” Mandy helped to clean up the mess. “Ya look nice.”
He ran his finger under his collar. “You think so? I haven’t worn a suit and tie in a long time.”
“Is this what ya bought today at the store, Daddy?”
Every time his daughter called him “daddy” his heart swelled. How could he have forgotten her—forgotten Zoey and Blake? Oh, he knew all the medical reasons for amnesia, but in his heart he should have known. Guilt gnawed at his insides for the lost years.
He cleared his throat before replying, “I figured I’d better get some clothes that fit me.”
“I want to go out with ya and Mommy to eat.” Mandy came to sit next to him on the couch. “I have a pretty new dress that Nana bought me. I can wear it.”
His first impulse was to tell her yes. She would be a good buffer between him and Zoey. But he’d never been a coward before, and he wasn’t going to start now. He placed his arm around Mandy’s shoulder and pulled her against him. “You can another time. Your mother and I need to talk.”
“That’s okay. Ya can talk. I won’t mind.”
“Sometimes grown-ups need time alone. Just like you and I need special time alone.”
Mandy pouted. “Okay. This time. And I’ll give ya a chance to beat me tomorrow.”
“That’s a date. Just you and me.”
He hugged her, relishing the feel of his daughter in his arms. He’d missed so much with her. Regret mixed with anger, always beneath the surface, surged in him, threatening his composure. Clenching his hands, he closed his eyes and forced those emotions to the dark recesses of his mind before they overwhelmed him. He’d survived the plane crash when no one else had. He’d finally made it back to his family. He was remembering new things every day. He would get his life back. He had to!
When the doorbell rang, he used that as an excuse to leave Mandy. In the hallway, he took several deep breaths to fortify himself. A feeling of helplessness, one he’d dealt with many times in the rain forest, nibbled at his mind. He pushed that away, too. He would never feel helpless again. He would control his own life from now on. He knew who he was and that was half the battle. The rest would fall into place now that he was home again.
Composed, Dane opened the door to allow Emma into the house. “Thanks for helping out on such short notice.”
“My pleasure. Anything for Zoey and you.” She placed her purse on the table in the foyer. “Where are the children?”
“Blake’s in his room, has been since he came home from the game. Tara’s with Zoey. And Mandy just beat me at a board game. She’s quite a competitor.”
“Even though she looks like Zoey, there’s a lot of you in her.”
Dane smiled.
Emma glanced up the stairs. “After you and Zoey leave, I’ll go up and talk with Blake.”
“Good luck. Zoey tried to and he didn’t say two words.”
