скачать книгу бесплатно
“Mark, you don’t have to play music if you don’t want to.”
“I want to go home.” He uncurled himself and pushed to his feet, his movements jerky.
Kathleen rose, taking that time to school her features into a calm facade that was no indication of what she was really feeling inside—fear, fear that she was losing her son, fear that something was going on beyond teenage rebellion. “I think you should see someone about—”
He whirled on her. “No! I told you no doctors.” Anger lined his face, his heavy dark brows slashed downward. “I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t want to play. That is all.”
“But you destroyed your guitar, the one your father gave you.”
“It’s my guitar. I can do what I want with it.”
Again his expression smoothed into a bland one. For a fleeting moment Kathleen wondered if she had imagined her son’s anger. Now he looked as though nothing had happened in the recreational hall, as if every day he smashed his favorite things.
“Mark, please let me help you.”
He stiffened, pressing his lips together, but his expression remained neutral.
She thought of Mark at his father’s funeral, supporting her through the ordeal. All Kathleen wanted to do was pull her son into her arms and hold him. She ached with the need, but his rigid stance forbade it. What had she done wrong that she couldn’t reach her son when he needed her the most?
Footsteps sounding on the stone path drew her attention. Jared approached from the parking lot.
Mark stared at him. “I’m going to the car.” He rushed past her and Jared.
Kathleen started forward.
“Wait. Give him a moment.”
“Why? He—”
Jared stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “You need it.”
The tight rein she had on her composure broke. Tears streamed down her face, unchecked. She couldn’t seem to stop them. She rarely cried, and now she was crying in front of a practical stranger. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” She paused, inhaling deeply. “These past six months have been so difficult. He’s not sleeping like he used to. He often roams the house at night. He’s not eating well, either. In fact, this past week I’ve hardly seen him eating at all. Last night I saw him crying during a movie that was funny.” Swiping at her tears, she hiccuped.
His eyes showing his concern, Jared lifted his hand toward her but stopped. Instead he removed his handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to her. “It could be any number of things. I can run some tests and see what I find. Call the office Monday and set up an appointment.”
“That’s the problem. When I tried to get him to see his doctor in Shreveport, Mark refused. He disappeared the day I was going to take him to the doctor. Talk about a scare.” Kathleen raked her trembling fingers through her hair. “I even said something a few days ago about finding a new doctor in town and he stomped from the room, muttering he didn’t need one.”
“How does your son feel about the move to Crystal Springs? Could his recent change in behavior be because of it?”
She shook her head, brushing the cotton handkerchief across her cheeks, trying to remove all evidence of her lost composure. “We had a long talk before we moved and he told me he didn’t care one way or another. The last few months in Shreveport he didn’t do much with any of his friends.” She peered away, unsure of anything concerning her son of late. “I suppose it could be. I didn’t think he minded.”
“I understand from your sister your husband died not long ago?”
“Eighteen months.”
“His death was sudden, wasn’t it?”
“An accident at work. At first, I thought Mark’s unusual behavior might be because of his close relationship to his dad, but now I don’t know. I know teens can be moody and difficult, but I think this is more than that.”
“You might be right. If he won’t come in, I’m not sure what I can—” His eyes brightening, Jared snapped his fingers. “No, I have an idea. I’m the director of the youth group. Maybe if you can get him involved in the group, I can observe him indirectly. That might be a start.”
“I know his cousin is part of the youth group. I might be able to get him to attend a meeting. After that, I don’t know.” After wiping her face one last time, Kathleen balled the handkerchief in her fist, then stuffed it into her pants’ pocket to clean later.
“There’s a meeting Sunday evening. Maybe if he gets to know me, he’ll feel more comfortable with coming to see me.”
“As you can see, I don’t have many choices. I’m willing to try anything,” she murmured, for once feeling a ray of hope. Maybe that was the answer.
“I’ll walk you to the car. I’ll say something to Mark about the meeting Sunday evening.”
“He used to be very involved in the youth group in Shreveport until a few months ago. I hope you can convince him to come.”
“If not, I’ll think of something.” Jared fell into step next to her on the stone path leading to the parking lot.
“Frankly, where my son is concerned, I don’t know what to think anymore. Right after his father died he was so strong. He was a wonderful comfort to me.” Guilt wove its way through all the other feelings she was dealing with. Everywhere she’d gone in Shreveport, she’d been reminded of her deceased husband. All her friends had been John’s friends, as well. It had just gotten too painful for her to stay. She’d longed to be around her family; to renew the feeling of belonging she’d had when she’d lived in Crystal Springs as a child. Had she been wrong to leave Shreveport and her old life behind? To want some control back in her life? Had she driven her son to this behavior?
At the edge of the parking lot Kathleen glanced toward her silver Taurus, relieved to see Mark leaning against its hood with his arms crossed over his chest and his shoulders hunched. “For a while he talked to his school counselor, but even that stopped six months ago.”
“Let me see what I can do.”
She paused two rows away from her car and faced Jared. “My sister has a great deal of faith in your ability. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your help.”
He offered her a reassuring smile that brightened his blue eyes. “The reason I became a doctor was because I wanted to help others when they were in trouble. Mark is in trouble. If there is a medical reason, I want to find it and make things better for him. If there isn’t a physical reason for his behavior, I still may be able to help him. I have to try.”
There was a touch of desperation in his last sentence that caused Kathleen to wonder what had put it there. She wished she knew him well enough to ask. “Thank you for being here.”
“You don’t need to thank me. It was the right thing to do.”
Dressed in a long-sleeved blue chambray shirt and tan slacks, Jared presented a confidence that gave her hope his plan might actually work. Observing Mark interacting with others and his environment was a start. She would continue to encourage her son to go to the doctor for a checkup, but without his cooperation she doubted it would work. “Not everyone would care,” she murmured, realizing this man had chosen to get involved in her and her son’s life when a lot of people, having witnessed what happened on stage, would run the other way.
“But that’s not what Christ taught us.”
Kathleen started to reply when she heard, “Mom. Come on.”
Shrugging, she said, “I’d better go.”
Jared followed her the rest of the way and offered his hand to Mark while he introduced himself. Her son limply shook it, his fingers barely touching Jared’s.
“I’d love to see you at the youth group meeting this Sunday evening. You probably know some of the guys who attend. Your cousin is one of our leaders.”
Mark avoided eye contact with Jared. “I don’t know if I can make it,” Mark mumbled to his chest.
“We’re going to plan a fundraiser, then continue our volleyball tournament. I can always pick you up if you want or you can come with your cousin. What do you say, Mark?”
Kathleen marveled at the persuasive tone in Jared’s voice and hoped her son agreed.
“I’ll think about it,” Mark mumbled, this time lifting his head and looking Jared in the eye for a few seconds before dropping his gaze again.
“Good. Summer around here can get long and boring without some things to do.”
Mark yanked the door open. “Let’s go, Mom.”
Over the top of the car Kathleen mouthed, “Thank you,” then slid behind the steering wheel.
After pulling out of the parking lot, Kathleen stopped at the corner and studied her son’s slumped posture and sullen expression. “I can take you if you want Sunday evening.” Her son had refused to get his driver’s license three months ago when he’d turned sixteen.
With his gaze glued straight ahead, Mark tensed. “I said I’d think about it.”
Kathleen eased her foot onto the accelerator and maneuvered the car out into the flow of traffic. At least her son hadn’t flat-out refused. There was hope. In fact, because of Jared Matthews she felt more hope than she had in a long time. Maybe this move home was going to turn out for the better after all. She needed to believe in something again. After John’s death she had lost faith, her prayers had gone unanswered. Then the recent events concerning Mark had found her drifting even further away from God.
Parking in her driveway, she curled her fingers tightly around the steering wheel and watched her son’s quick escape into the house. “I am not alone. I have my family here and someone who may be able to give me some insight into what’s going on with my son.” The words whispered in the quiet confines of the car reassured her for a moment until she saw her son come to his bedroom window and lower the black shade he’d insisted on having.
Lately Mark preferred to live in the dark, but she wouldn’t. No matter how much she wanted to do everything on her own, she couldn’t refuse help—not now when her son’s health was at stake. If she had an ounce of strength left in her, she would discover with Jared’s assistance what was wrong with Mark.
Chapter Two
Kathleen sat at her table in the kitchen looking out her bay window into the backyard. A green blanket of lush grass extended to a rock garden where a stone bench and birdbath beckoned. Watching a male cardinal land on a branch of her maple tree, she thought about her encounter the night before at the church with Dr. Jared Matthews. There was a presence about him that gave her some hope he might succeed where she hadn’t been able to with her son. Maybe he would be able to reach Mark.
As she brought the cup of hot tea to her lips, the doorbell rang, startling her from her musings. She checked the clock on the wall and noticed it was still early in the morning—eight. Quickly, before the person rang the bell again, she hurried to the door. Mark hadn’t been asleep long and she didn’t want anyone waking him up. He had been so tired after the talent show, and yet she’d heard him roaming around until a few hours ago.
When she opened the front door, she blinked several times, surprised to find Jared Matthews standing on her porch, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
Dressed in navy blue running shorts and a white T-shirt, he smiled, dimpling both cheeks. Sweat glistened on his brow and dampened his shirt. “I was on my way home from jogging in the park and thought since I wasn’t too far from you I would stop by and see how Mark is doing after last night.”
“He’s asleep right now. Would you like something to drink? Water? Coffee? Tea? I was having a cup of hot tea, but I can fix you some coffee if you like.”
Shaking his head, he swiped the back of his hand across his forehead. “Anything hot right now doesn’t sound too appealing, but I’ll take a tall glass of ice water.”
She stepped to the side. “Come in.”
He didn’t move. “I’ve been jogging.”
She laughed. “Believe me, my kitchen table has seen worse than a man who’s been jogging sitting at it.”
He opened the screen door and came into the house, his large frame filling the small entry hall. He took a deep breath. “Something smells good.”
“I’m baking bread.”
“Baking bread? People still do that?”
“I’d do it even if I didn’t like to eat it just for the smell.”
“My mom used to bake bread, but that was ages ago. I haven’t had freshly made bread since I was a young kid.”
“I have one loaf finished. I’ll cut you a piece if you want.”
“There’s no way I’ll turn down that offer.” His smile grew, deepening the two dimples in his cheeks. “This is my lucky morning.”
Jared trailed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the glass table. She brought him some ice water, then returned to the counter to cut several slices of bread.
“Do you like to cook?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. You could call it one of my passions.”
“One?” He arched a brow. “What other passions do you have?”
The question caused her to pause. Tilting her head, she thought about it, realizing so many of her passions had been tied up with John. They had loved to hike and camp as a family. They had taken pride in fixing up their old house room by room until it had been stamped with their personalities throughout. “You know, besides cooking, I suppose I like to read just about any type of book.”
“You don’t sound very convinced.”
“So many things that I used to do were connected with my husband and son. Since my husband’s death there’s been a void that’s been hard to fill.” Kathleen finished slicing the bread, then brought the plate to the table and sat. “You probably know what I mean. Didn’t your wife die recently?”
A slight tensing of the shoulders and clenching of the jaw were the only indication Jared was bothered by her question. He took a sip of his water and picked up a piece of warm bread. “Alice has been gone for a little over a year.”
“Then you know how hard it can be to start a new life.”
“Yes,” he clipped out, downing half his water in several gulps.
“I married John when I was twenty. I’ve never had a career and I don’t have to work now. But suddenly I’m finding my life isn’t fulfilling, the way it was when my family was whole. I still take care of Mark and the house, but everything has changed. It’s as though I’m at sea adrift with no place to go.”
“Have you thought about getting a job?”
Kathleen nodded. “But with the way Mark’s been behaving lately, I don’t think I should. Maybe if things are better when he starts school in two months, I’ll try to find something to do.”
“You can always volunteer. We could use someone to organize volunteers at our hospital. Or I could always use an extra person to help with the youth group at church.”
Kathleen sipped her lukewarm orange-spice tea. “I’ll think about that. I used to volunteer at Mark’s school in Shreveport, as well as at our church. I enjoyed doing both of those jobs. If I’d finished college, I probably would have gone into a career as a social worker or a teacher. I like working with people, helping them.”
“That’s one of the reasons I became a doctor. I suppose you could say fixing problems is a passion of mine.”
“Since I have a problem, I’m glad it is.”
Jared settled back in his chair, relaxing totally as his gaze shifted to the large bay window. “Your yard is beautiful.”
“I wish I could take credit, but the former owners must have loved yard work. They did a wonderful job landscaping. I like to drink my tea in the morning and look outside or sit on the deck if it’s not too hot. There’s something about a rock garden that’s soothing.”
“The Hendersons, who owned this house, often worked wonders with the church garden. That’ll be a void we’ll have to fill.”
Kathleen chuckled. “Don’t look at me. If I can’t find someone to do my yard, this may be the best you’ll see.”
“Actually I was thinking of taking over that job at the church. I love to work in the yard, get my hands dirty. One of my favorite things is to commune with nature.”
“I love to commune with nature, too, like a connoisseur who appreciates fine art but doesn’t actually paint.” Their gazes connected, forming a momentary bond between them. “But I haven’t done any communing with nature lately. John, Mark and I would go out—” Her voice trailed off into silence. That life was over. She had to move on—quit thinking about the past.
“Go where?” Jared asked, his gaze returning to the yard, breaking the bond.
She flattened her back against the chair, the wooden slats pressing into her. “Camping and hiking. Also on trips into the bayous.” A long time ago, she thought. She’d come home to start a new life.
“With snakes and alligators?”
