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Confessions of a Ghostwriter
Confessions of a Ghostwriter
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Confessions of a Ghostwriter

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Confessions of a Ghostwriter
Andrew Crofts

HE’S WRITTEN MORE THAN 80 BOOKS. HE’S SOLD MILLIONS OF COPIES ACROSS THE WORLD. HE IS THE MAN BEHIND A DOZEN SUNDAY TIMES TOP 10 HITS, SPENDING OVER 120 WEEKS IN THE BESTSELLER CHARTS.BUT YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF HIM.Andrew Crofts is a ghostwriter, an author for hire, employed to write other people’s stories – everyone from film stars to footballers, hitmen to hookers, world leaders to abused children. Ghostwriters are confidantes to the most famous people on earth, and they help give a voice to some of the most vulnerable and inspiring. They dip their toes into every corner of life, and inhabit worlds that are both shadowy and glamorous. They are the ones who write the books that top the bestseller charts.Andrew is one of the world’s most sought-after ghosts. In this book he confesses the truth about ghosting; how it feels to be an invisible author, to be given first class tickets to travel anywhere and permission to ask whatever questions you like. Confessions of a Ghostwriter gives an unrivalled peek into private worlds that few others gain admission to.

Confessions of a Ghostwriter

BY ANDREW CROFTS

The Friday Project

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

77–85 Fulham Palace Road

Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk (http://www.harpercollins.co.uk)

This ebook first published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2014

Copyright © Andrew Crofts 2014

Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2014

Andrew Crofts asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

FIRST EDITION

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780007575404

Ebook Edition © SEP 2014 ISBN: 9780007575411

Version: 2014-07-23

To my wife, Susan, who I love with all my heart.

Contents

Title Page (#u788a3b57-b17c-553e-80f2-64235934b755)

Copyright (#uec90d856-8bb2-5da6-9935-a4018656e989)

Dedication (#u9b244927-e1d0-536d-addb-d36a34a0f373)

Introduction

An eight-foot transsexual hooker in the living room

A million books in an African warehouse

Discovering ghostwriting

The story of Stumpy

The glamour model versus the ‘arbiters of taste’

Secrets and confidentiality agreements

Glimpses of hell

That splinter of ice

Suddenly you’re history

Abused children find a voice

Sacked by a glove puppet

A debt to Dale Carnegie

The first questions a ghostwriter should ask

‘You need to come to Haiti …’

Tyrants and other interesting monsters

Lunching with Imelda Marcos

Afternoon tea with Mrs Mubarak

Filthy lucre

Big Brother is watching and listening

A real-life Shades of Grey

A gift for a billionaire

Rich men’s toys

The soporific brothel

An opportunist hack

A book goes global

Revenge can be bitter

The Princess speaks

Confessions of my infidelity

How can anyone write four books a year?

Waking up in the orphanage

Under armed guard in Lahore

The tentative handling of firearms

The faulty memories of rock gods

Soldiers’ tales

Win a ghost of your own

Selling your story to a magazine

Calls from out of the blue

I am an addict

Evangelists of technology

‘Mr Harris would like to quote you …’

A confession of conceit

Guilt and self-doubt

The awesome power of a tear on daytime television

Christina Foyle, queen of all she surveyed

A new breed of stars

The reality of reality television stars

A genuine talent

A real media circus

Culture clashes and other bad marriages

Clubs for gentlemen and players

A Year in Provence unleashes an avalanche

Jim Martin’s island

A Russian in hiding

Education at Madame Jojo’s

From the lips of an Iraqi child

I love supermarket bookshelves

Confessions from the British Library

‘You may just have to get a job …’

The forgotten rules of grammar

A forgotten weekend in academia

A little lone wolf

The greatest living playwright

The selling power of celebrities

The soap star who came to stay

Not everyone can be Hamlet

Discovering Jay Gatsby

‘The Principessa is throwing a party …’

A black BMW behind King’s Cross

Tales of courtesans and mistresses

Deathbed delivery

The mid-book blues

Addiction to charts

Tales from below stairs

A confession of cowardice

Writing in two voices at once