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Who Needs Men Anyway?: A perfect feel-good romantic comedy filled with sass
Victoria Cooke
*The #1 Digital Bestseller!*‘Funny and poignant with a gloriously realistic cast of characters. I followed Charlotte's journey avidly, cheering her on all the way. An unputdownable read.’Rachel Burton, author of The Many Colours of UsDon’t get mad, get even…Thirty-something Charlotte’s Emsworth’s life is a sickeningly perfect round of charity events, hot yoga, and romantic gestures for sexy lawyer husband James. But, patiently waiting to get pregnant, Charlotte is bored. And when she’s bored, she has a tendency to meddle…First, it’s her personal trainer Megan’s cheating fiancé, then the gardener Sam’s wife’s ‘late nights at the office’. But soon the meddling, however well-intentioned, lands Charlotte in way over her head, and all the time spent ‘managing’ other people’s lives makes her blind to the cracks appearing in her own…Getting even is one thing, but what about getting happy?Perfect for fans of The First Wives Club…Readers love Victoria Cooke:“It had all the drama, laughs, twists, and touch of romance I love in a book”“Loved this book!”“Brilliant writing kept me enthralled to the end”“Loved this book , I could not put it down”“I think this is her best book yet!”“A fabulously fun and laugh out loud novel”
Don’t get mad, get even . . .
Thirty-something Charlotte Emsworth’s life is a sickeningly perfect round of charity events, hot yoga, and romantic gestures for sexy lawyer husband James. But, patiently waiting to get pregnant, Charlotte is bored. And when she’s bored, she has a tendency to meddle . . .
First, it’s her personal trainer Megan’s cheating fiancé, then the gardener Sam’s wife’s ‘late nights at the office’. But soon the meddling, however well-intentioned, lands Charlotte in way over her head, and all the time spent ‘managing’ other people’s lives makes her blind to the cracks appearing in her own . . .
Getting even is one thing, but what about getting happy?
Perfect for fans of The First Wives Club . . .
Also by Victoria Cooke (#u73ecd6ac-d4c9-5c24-9424-fc2ea663ba96)
The Secret to Falling in Love
The Holiday Cruise
Who Needs Men Anyway?
Victoria Cooke
ONE PLACE. MANY STORIES
Copyright (#ulink_ce71aacb-ac75-5709-a7f6-2f98a47d0e09)
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2018
Copyright © Victoria Cooke 2018
Victoria Cooke asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.
E-book Edition © April 2018 ISBN: 9780008274580
Version: 2018-04-05
VICTORIA COOKE grew up in the city of Manchester before crossing the Pennines in pursuit of her career in education. She now lives in Huddersfield with her husband and two young daughters and when she’s not at home writing by the fire with a cup of coffee in hand, she loves working out in the gym and travelling. Victoria was first published at the tender age of eight by her classroom teacher who saw potential in a six-page story about an invisible man. Since then she’s always had a passion for reading and writing, undertaking several writers’ courses before completing her first novel in 2016.
This book is for my friends, my besties, my ‘Elmwood massive’ and my ‘club Oasis’ partners in crime. Cocktails are never the same without you.
Thank you for inspiring me with your crazy antics – your friendship rocks.
xxx
Contents
Cover (#u4a47da64-ad16-5cba-9822-e263ed5d2cd4)
Blurb (#uf173a7d8-cdcd-525f-89b9-3ec9ba6513a5)
Booklist (#u6dcaa106-1271-55ec-9171-9dbbf4f0b204)
Title Page (#u798390a4-f5f3-5467-a2fc-b9b15310adb7)
Copyright (#ulink_45abbed9-3c96-5761-af2a-cd3b4d1203ee)
Author Bio (#u71cd1e9b-183f-59ce-b1e4-cc7e16a44bff)
Dedication (#u46bdb147-5285-5f43-ae47-64d1d85f64fd)
Prologue (#ulink_6a31209f-4e60-524c-acba-304411cec851)
Chapter One (#ulink_12a69b49-2887-52a5-bed0-bb07a09ac194)
Chapter Two (#ulink_3de20a68-e2ac-5d18-bad6-de04cbd15b4f)
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Epilogue
Acknowledgements (#u7ba867bf-52f7-5f44-93ab-d044e7a923ba)
Excerpt (#u9165a9e6-5c11-57e9-83ae-9c02ba58e429)
Endpages (#udc519d44-bb3f-53e5-8e41-b63f6b85d369)
About the Publisher (#uadd4959d-307d-51d1-9eb7-83be099ef759)
Prologue (#ulink_2035cd16-5628-59cd-b099-dc305cbbd0d2)
Valentine’s Day Last Year
I’m Charlotte, and I have a wonderful life.
The house, the cars, the clothes, and the man. What more could I want?
My husband, James, is quite the catch: successful, good-looking, and loved by everyone, he’s the type of man other women tell me they dream of marrying. James and I were university sweethearts and married at the tender age of twenty-four – ten years ago today, in a lavish ceremony on a frosty February the fourteenth, so Valentine’s Day has always been a day of celebration.
This morning, I woke up to find a single rose lying at the foot of the bed with a little note that read:
I love you more than life itself.
Happy anniversary, my darling valentine.
James
xxx
A smile spread across my face as I sniffed the rose. ‘James?’ I shouted, and he emerged from the steamy en suite with a white towel tied around his waist, showing off his toned stomach, still tanned from our recent trip to Mexico.
‘You’re awake?’ He pulled me into a hug.
‘I am, thank you for the rose,’ I said, kissing him. ‘And the note.’
‘You deserve it, Charlotte. I love you. Come here.’ He pulled me in tight once again, nibbling my lip. ‘I’ll see you tonight. I have a special dinner planned – at that new French restaurant on the high street – but I’ll be working late so meet me there at seven?’
‘Sounds perfect. Now sit down, I’ve got something for you.’
He sat waiting dutifully as I skipped into the walk-in wardrobe and opened my small, hidden drawer, sliding out the yellow box. It had challenged me to keep the gift a secret. The excited rush I’d felt when buying it two weeks ago was so strong it almost forced me to give it to him as soon as he’d walked in that day, especially since he’d looked so tired and in need of cheering up. I’d had to take myself off to hot yoga every night to avoid caving in to temptation and spoiling the surprise. But I’d triumphed! I made it to our anniversary, to Valentine’s Day morning, without spilling the beans.
‘Close your eyes,’ I said, hovering in the doorway.
Once he did, I walked over and placed the box on his knee, jumping on the bed to sit beside him. My insides squeezed with excitement. ‘Okay, you can open them!’
‘Oh my God! Charlotte!’ He gasped. Taking in the embossed wings logo on the yellow box, he hastily opened the lid to reveal a smaller, glossy-black box inside. It was like the Russian doll of watch boxes. I could barely contain myself as he peered inside and grinned. ‘I love it.’ Of course he did; I knew he would – it was the Breitling Navitimer watch he’d had his eye on for months. He kissed me before pulling away. ‘And I love you too. I’ve got you a little something as well but it’s at work because I was saving it to give you at dinner.’
What a wonderful man.
Chapter One (#ulink_d096a2ff-59e6-5f11-a0e7-42f4e383fb3c)
‘Janet, you went with the highlights and bob I suggested? You look absolutely stunning.’ I beamed at the Budgen’s shop assistant who fiddled with the ends of her hair shyly and nodded. ‘It’s taken years off you.’ It really had – she’d gone from ‘magnolia plain’ to ‘hot pink sassy’ since I’d last seen her. Jaded Janet to Jazzy Janet in a jiffy. My insides bounced about excitedly at yet another triumph in my quest to make people happy.
‘Thank you, Mrs Emsworth – I was a bit unsure about the chop but after you’d said I should go for it I thought “well what the heck?” My darling other half thought I’d gone and got myself a bit on the side because I’d apparently started “making an effort” all of a sudden.’ She giggled.
‘Well, that’ll keep him on his toes.’ I winked. I walked to the exit feeling all warm and fuzzy, glad that Janet appreciated my advice. On the surface, it looked like I had it all, and I suppose I almost did but life hadn’t always been so rosy and it wasn’t quite complete. Coming from a background where I didn’t always ‘fit in’ gave me a level of empathy rarely found amongst the average Cheshire housewife cliques and that was my superpower.
As I stepped outside the shop contemplating my next quest, I spotted something that made my blood run cold. I squinted a little to make sure I’d not made a mistake. Sure enough, it was him, Mike, the fiancé of my personal trainer, Megan, sat in his car getting far too close to a much younger woman. As I froze, trying to figure out what to do, the engine started and they drove off into the night.
***
‘I’m going out. There’s hummus and crudités in the fridge in case you get peckish,’ I yelled to James late the following Saturday night. He was up in the office where he’d been spending far too much time of late. Megan had gushed about going to a Sam Smith concert with some of her friends, and that meant her fiancé would be home alone, allegedly. If I was going to expose him for the cheating worthless bastard I knew he was, I was going to need evidence.
I’d dressed in black skinny jeans, a black T-shirt, and black leather jacket for low visibility; my Kera Straightened blonde hair was tucked into a black woolly pompom hat. James didn’t question me as I left; I knew he wouldn’t because he’d been office-bound, working so hard on a huge case that he’d barely had time to eat, never mind worry himself with whatever I was up to. I sunk into the leather seat of my black BMW and pressed the ‘Start’ button. The engine purred to life.
It was a fifteen-minute drive to Megan’s house in a nice residential area on the outskirts of Stockport. Bingo, two cars sat on the driveway: Megan’s cute Mini and Mike’s navy Merc – or the ‘seedy-love-mobile’, as I now prefer to call it. I crawled past and saw a light on in the front room of their modern detached – confirming he was home.
I spun my car around at the top of the cul-de-sac and drove off up the street, pulling up on the main road at the top. It looked like one of those ‘Neighbourhood Watch’ areas – the kind with the twitchy curtains. My unfamiliar shiny new 5 Series wouldn’t sit unnoticed; it may have already drawn a look or two. I checked my watch. It was just after nine. The urgent trill of my phone made me jump as it came through the car’s Bluetooth system. I fumbled with the volume quickly before answering.
‘Hello?’ I said, eyes still fixed on the road.
