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“Mom’s always appalled by our manners,” Sam interjected, clearly unconcerned as he grabbed a cherry tomato from the salad bowl and popped it into his mouth.
Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that the truth?”
“Anyway,” Jake began after he’d stalled as long as he could and hoping he’d picked up correctly on the slight disapproval in Sophia’s voice when she mentioned his job. “I’m a private investigator.”
“Seriously? That must be so cool,” Sam declared.
“Yes, Jake, tell Sam how cool your job is,” Sophia said, a challenging lift to her eyebrows.
He was still scrambling for something to say that would appease her brothers’ curiosity without further alienating Sophia when Vince asked his daughter, “Why is now the first we’re hearing of this? Sophia, why didn’t you tell us what Jake does for a living? For all we knew, he could have been an accountant.”
Sophia picked at the sesame seeds on her hamburger bun and complained, “What’s wrong with being an accountant?”
“Other than being totally boring?” Sam asked before turning back to Jake. “What was your most interesting case?”
Jake didn’t have to even think about it. “That would have to be the case that took me to St. Louis.”
Sophia’s head snapped toward him, her dark gaze pleading, as if she expected him to blurt out the whole story to her family right there at the dinner table. Any why not? he thought with regret. That was pretty much what he’d done to her …
Sam leaned forward. “What happened in St. Louis?”
Reaching out, Jake lifted Sophia’s hand from the picnic table and entwined her fingers with his own. “That’s where I met your sister,” he murmured.
The worry eased from her expression, and was it his imagination or had her eyes softened just a little? Despite the elbow-to-elbow contact at the table, her family seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them and the spark that had ignited between them the moment they met, an attraction that made it easy for Sophia to trust him, an attraction that made it so easy for Jake to lie to her.
He didn’t know which of them flinched first, but the break in contact as Sophia’s hand fell to her side made Jake feel like some vital part of him had been ripped away, leaving behind only scars as reminders of all he’d lost. Because of his lies and because of the truth he’d been asked to find.
Dammit, Sophia, I’m sorry, he thought, staring at her downcast profile as if he might will her into accepting his apology. Sorry I’m not the man you thought I was.
He did his best to deflect the rest of her family’s questions about his job and thought he’d just about turned the tide when Maddie’s young voice piped in.
“Have you ever been shot?”
The little girl had been tossing bits of her bun at a couple of birds, and Jake hadn’t thought she’d been listening to the conversation. When all adult eyes focused on her, she added, “You know, like on TV.”
Instinctively, his hand moved to his left thigh. Sometimes he swore he could still feel the bullet burning beneath his flesh even though he knew that was impossible…. A soft intake of breath beside him caught his attention. Sophia straightened in realization, and he could almost hear yet another mark checked off against him for yet another lie.
He was spared from having to satisfy Maddie’s childish curiosity when Vanessa turned on her eldest son. “Honestly, Nick, what have you been letting this child watch?”
“I didn’t let her. I didn’t know she was paying any attention,” Nick protested.
Thinking it was a good time to turn the conversation away from himself while he still could, Jake asked, “What about you, Vince? What do you do?”
For the first time since he met the Pirelli family, silence fell.
Sophia might not think much of Jake’s job, but up until recently, he’d been good at it. And he could still pick up on body language and small nuances most people missed. Like the encouraging smile Vanessa sent her husband’s way. Like the look Sam and Drew exchanged, and Nick’s brief but pointed glance at Sophia, who kept her own eyes focused on her plate. Only Maddie was immune, singing beneath her breath and turning her attention back to her gathering flock.
Vince’s smile was wide as ever, but something less than genuine as he said, “Used to manage the grocery store in town, but now I’m retired. I get to be a full-time husband and father, much to my wife and kids’ dismay.”
Vanessa and his sons immediately protested, but Sophia stayed stone silent at Jake’s side until she stood abruptly and practically scrambled over the picnic bench. She grabbed her glass of lemonade. “I need a refill. I’ll be right back. Can I get anyone anything from the kitchen?” She barely waited for her family to reply before backing away from the table.
Jake stood before she made her escape. “I’ll join you.”
She opened her mouth to demur, but he shot a quick glance at her family and the protest she would have made transformed into a smile. “Thank you, Jake.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, wondering if he was the only one to notice how she spoke the words through gritted teeth.
He caught her hand as they crossed the lush green lawn toward the kitchen, but it was Sophia who practically dragged him the last few yards into the house. She whirled on him the moment the door closed, secluding them in the homey kitchen.
Her color was high and her dark eyes snapping as she bit out, “Football injury?”
“What?”
“The night we met, you said you were limping because of a football injury!”
Of all the explanations he owed Sophia, that was by far the last he’d expected her to demand. He’d passed off his injury with the half-joking cliché rather than tell the truth. But the worry shining through her anger was far worse than facing the memories of the job that had gone wrong in Mexico only a few weeks before he met Sophia.
“I wasn’t lying when I told you I was fine. I am,” he insisted, wondering if he wasn’t trying to convince himself. Physically, yes, he was healing. But how many times had he awakened in a cold sweat, grabbing at his leg, feeling the pain of the bullet buried deep inside? He thought he’d put those nightmares to rest, but they’d come back with a vengeance since he left St. Louis. Since he’d left Sophia.
She stared up at him as if trying to see right through him and straight into all the uncertainty inside. But he’d gotten good over the years at hiding; it was part of his job, sure, but more than that, it was part of who he was. And he was pretty sure he didn’t give anything away when he repeated, “I’m fine.”
For a moment, she looked ready to argue, the fine line between her eyebrows a dead giveaway of the stubbornness he’d caught a glimpse of a time or two in St. Louis. But then she changed tactics as she got to the point. “What are you doing here, Jake?”
He’d asked that question as he traveled to Clearville and still wasn’t sure he’d come up with an adequate answer to satisfy himself, let alone one Sophia would accept. All he knew was that the hurt in her eyes when he’d blurted out the truth had haunted him since he’d left, and he couldn’t stand the thought of that being his last memory of Sophia. So here he was, standing in the kitchen of her childhood home, ready to give an explanation she didn’t want to hear. An apology she wouldn’t accept.
Her crossed arms, raised chin and closed expression all told him she wasn’t going to listen to anything he had to say. Not here, not now. But he had time … if he dared to take it.
“What am I doing?” he echoed. “I’m enjoying your family’s company. I’d expected I’d have to fight through your brothers to see you—” his eyebrow rose in question “—but for some crazy reason, they think we’re dating.”
Evading his gaze, she focused on a wall clock shaped like a rooster. Color slowly faded from her cheeks, along with her previous fire, and Jake dropped any hint of teasing. “What’s going on, Sophia?”
She shook her head and swallowed. “It’s like you said. My family still thinks we’re dating … for the crazy reason that I haven’t told them otherwise.”
“Just like you haven’t told them what happened in Chicago or that you’re no longer working for the Dunworthys.” From what he gathered in passing conversations, her family had no idea Sophia had been fired … or the reason why. The Pirellis seemed to think Sophia was on paid leave while her employers vacationed overseas.
“Yet another proud moment in my life,” she muttered. Her embarrassment and disappointment was obvious in the slump to her shoulders and downcast eyes. Jake felt his heart lurch as if urging him to do something. Uncertain what else he could offer, he quietly asked, “Do you want me to tell your family what happened?”
Dragging her gaze from the ceramic tile that had replaced the worn linoleum floor of her childhood, Sophia stared up at Jake Cameron, a man who knew the worst and best of the secrets she still hadn’t told her family. A man who was a virtual stranger—since for all she knew everything he’d told her was a lie, a man who treated getting shot like a paper cut—and the urge to escape overwhelmed her. She spun toward the door, but her family still waited outside. The trapped, suffocating feeling she’d had as a teenager closed in on her, reminding her of all the reasons why she’d run from Clearville years ago.
But a different edge raced along the fine blade of tension now, one she’d never felt before meeting Jake. A fear that running would never be enough until she found some place—someone—she could run to. She shoved the ridiculous thought aside and took a deep breath that teased her senses with the hint of Jake’s woodsy aftershave combined with the smoke from the charcoal—a scent more appetizing than the burgers he’d grilled.
“Do you want me to?” he asked again, stepping close enough for her to feel the heat of his body running down her spine, buttocks and the backs of her thighs. She turned to face him, realizing too late the temptation of his broad chest was just a deep breath away from her breasts and his lips hovered just out of reach of her own … unless she stood on tiptoe, as she’d learned the night of their second date.
“Sophia?”
“What?” Sophia demanded, horrified she’d somehow given her desire away.
“Do you want me to tell your family?” he repeated, a slight frown coming to his handsome face.
Feeling her cheeks burn, she shook her head to clear her heated thoughts. “Of course not,” she scoffed, though she was a bit tempted to dump all the responsibility on Jake. But she wasn’t that big of a coward. “They’re my family. I’ll tell them.”
His golden gaze searched hers, his expression more enigmatic than she’d ever seen in St. Louis. For those few short weeks, he’d struck her as completely sincere, honest and easy to read. It hurt all over again to realize not only his words had been a lie. Everything about the Jake Cameron she’d met, the Jake Cameron she’d liked had been a con.
“Or …” His voice trailed off, dangling the bait of an answer she had yet to consider.
“Or what?”
“Or you could let them believe we’re still seeing each other until you’re ready to tell the truth.”
That had been her plan all along, hadn’t it? Easing into the truth like dipping a toe into the shock of an icy pond instead of diving in headlong. But looking up into the intensity of Jake’s golden gaze, she felt the heat of his stare searching her face before settling on her mouth. A sudden trembling attacked her legs and threatened her ability to stand. Desperate to fight off that weakness before Jake could see how easily he still affected her, Sophia mocked, “You mean pretend to be dating? Well, you’d certainly be good at it.”
His jaw tightened to the point where she expected to hear his molars crack, but when he spoke, his voice was as deep and calm as ever. “You have a choice, Sophia.”
His gaze shifted to a spot over her shoulder, and she glanced back. The lace curtain over the back door window offered a snowy, diffused view of her family outside. Sam and Drew were telling some story that had both her parents laughing. Even Nick looked like he was enjoying himself.
Once again, she would be the one changing that, wiping away their happiness and replacing it with worry and disappointment. Swallowing, she turned away and looked back at Jake. “Why would you do this?”
“Let’s just say I owe you,” he said. “There is a condition, though.”
“Figures,” she muttered. “What’s the condition?”
“I want to know why you’ve let your family believe we’re still seeing each other.”
Tell Jake or tell her entire family? Math had never been her favorite subject, but even she could do those calculations. “You remember meeting my aunt Donna when she came to visit Theresa?” At Jake’s nod, Sophia said, “Well, she definitely remembers meeting you. All she could talk about was what a great guy you are.”
Jake flinched at her words, and for the first time, Sophia wondered if his guilt and regret might be the real thing.
That, or he’s playing you, a cynical voice warned. The same way he played you from the moment you met … or maybe even before that.
It wasn’t like her to view every action with suspicion and doubt, but she’d been burned too many times before. If she let herself believe anything Jake said, she’d only be setting herself up for another heartache.
“Sophia—”
She shook her head, cutting off an apology she couldn’t afford to accept. “My parents have been married for thirty-five years. I know how rare that is in this day and age, but in my family, people still believe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. That marriage is for life and family means everything. How am I supposed to admit that I’m pregnant and that the father of my child will always be this nameless, faceless nonentity in our lives? In my child’s life?”
Sophia didn’t mean for the words to keep spilling out, but once she started, she couldn’t seem to stop. “But you! See, my aunt Donna met you! She thought you were a nice guy. I even had a few pictures from when we went out—to the ballgame, and the zoo.” Sophia shook her head. “You were a single bright spot amid everything that was going wrong in my life and—it was stupid to think that would be enough. But, I don’t know, it just seemed like better than nothing.”
Her hands dropped uselessly to her sides, and she glanced up at Jake, anticipating his reaction. What she saw, though, was the last thing she expected. Tension had taken hold of his body, leaving behind taut lines of muscle and bone. “Jake—”
The back door opened before she could say anything more. Sam bounded inside, nearly running her down. “Sorry, sis,” he said as he caught her by the shoulders and steered her out of the way. Breaking up the tense moment with typical oblivion, he headed for the refrigerator. “Maddie says there’s cake for dessert.”
Her mother followed a moment later. Far more perceptive than Sam—but who wasn’t?—she looked back and forth between Sophia and Jake. “Is everything all right?”
Jake gave an abrupt nod as he escaped from the kitchen. Meeting her mother’s puzzled look, Sophia forced a smile and said, “I’m, um, a little tired from the trip. I’d like to go lie down for awhile.”
“Oh, of course. Are your bags still in the car?”
“In the trunk,” she said.
“Sam, go get your sister’s luggage when you’re done in here.”
Backing out of the refrigerator with the sheet cake, Sam said, “Will do.”
Her mother linked her arm through Sophia’s. “Your room is ready. If you need anything—well,” she said with a smile, “you probably know where it is.”
The house where she’d grown up hadn’t changed that much over the years, and Sophia shouldn’t have been surprised when her mother opened the door to her bedroom. Stuck in a time warp from Sophia’s late teens, the room looked exactly as it had when she left. Same white wrought-iron day bed. Same rainbow of accent colors since she’d never been able to settle on just one or two—the candy-striped pink and white wallpaper, the lilac shag area rug, the powder-blue comforter and vast array of throw pillows. She’d painted the furniture herself, taking the dresser and nightstand from plain white to wild mixes of polka dots, stripes, hearts and flowers.
Seeing it all, Sophia couldn’t speak around the lump in her throat, but there was so much she wanted to say, so many explanations, so many apologies …
But Vanessa said the only words that mattered. “We’ve missed you, sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re home.”
Surrounded by her childhood things and the unconditional love shining in her mother’s eyes, the truth about the baby, about her job, about Jake bubbled up. “Mom—”
“I see you still haven’t learned to pack light,” Sam remarked as he shouldered his way into the room, two suitcases in hand and one tucked beneath his arm like a football.
The opportunity to tell the truth dissipated like smoke, leaving behind only a hint of the chance she’d let slip by, and Sophia forced a smile at her brother. She’d brought almost everything she owned, unsure from day to day what clothes would still fit over her gradually expanding belly.
As soon as Sam swung the suitcases onto the bed, Vanessa said, “And let Jake know his room is ready, too, would you?”
Sophia froze in shock. “Jake? Jake’s staying here?”
“Well, of course, dear,” her mother said with a frown. “You didn’t think we’d expect him to take a room in town, did you?”
Sophia swallowed a lump of nerves. Keeping up the charade might have been Jake’s idea, but she’d agreed to it, hadn’t she? A pretend boyfriend was one thing. But how on earth was she supposed to handle the real Jake Cameron sleeping under the same roof only a few doors away?
Chapter Three
Why would you do this?
Jake’s hands tightened on the back porch railing as Sophia’s words echoed through his thoughts. He wondered what her reaction would have been if he’d told her the truth.
He missed her. He missed her laughter, her smile, and that he’d considered admitting that, even for a split second, told Jake he was already in over his head.
He’d made the biggest mistake an investigator could—he’d gotten too close to the subject. He knew better than to let emotions rule his actions. Logic and patience and detached observation had made him a good private investigator, but for the second job in a row, he’d rushed in without thinking. His body was still healing from the painful lessons he’d learned in Mexico while the damage done in St. Louis … those wounds were harder to define, but they’d left him reeling. Especially since he still didn’t know how Sophia had sneaked past his defenses.
Was it the evening they’d ended up missing their dinner reservation when she saw a small school carnival and wanted to stop? How she’d egged him on as he spent over twenty bucks popping balloons to win her a palm-sized stuffed unicorn? Was it the Cardinals game they went to and the thirty-minute rain delay they spent huddled beneath a shared umbrella, talking and laughing? Normal, everyday activities that made life—made him—feel normal again …
Or had it happened so much sooner than that? The night they first met, when he’d wrestled her bag away from a purse snatcher. He’d ended up with some scrapes on his hand, minor cuts Sophia had insisted on bandaging. The scratches had long since healed, but the soft brush of her skin against his lingered …
Jake let go of the railing and shoved his hands into his back pockets. It didn’t really matter how or when it had happened. Only that he couldn’t let Sophia crawl any deeper into his heart.
When Sophia told him she was pregnant with Todd Dunworthy’s child, Jake had felt like the cruel hand of fate was trying to shove him down a rocky, heaving path, but it was a road he refused to go down again. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.
Even as he’d listened to Sophia talk about the father of her child—a nameless, faceless nonentity—unwanted memories of Mollie and Josh had crept in. Regret and failure clenched at his gut. It was enough to make Jake feel like less than nothing. Which was exactly what he’d ended up being to Josh despite his best attempts.
The back door opened behind him, and Sam said, “Hey, we’ve got dessert ready if Drew and Nick didn’t already eat it all.”
He wasn’t in the mood to eat or even to join the Pirelli family without Sophia at the table. He was glad when Sam added, “And my mom wanted me to tell you your room’s ready if you want to bring your stuff in from the car.”
