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With deepest love and fondest regards,
Your brother, William
Her tears overflowed, slipped down her cheeks and dropped onto the letter. She blotted them with the hem of her nightgown lest the ink run and smear, then placed the letter back in the box where it would be safe so she could read it over and over again on the long journey. A smile trembled on her lips. Even here in this cramped wagon with wild animals howling and the whisper of a river flowing by, William could make her feel better.
Weariness washed over her. She turned down the wick of the lamp and stepped to the bed. It was exactly as William had designed it. A lacing of taut ropes held two mattresses—one of horsehair, the other of feathers—covered in rubber cloth secure inside a wood frame that was fastened to the wagon’s side by leather hinges at the bottom and rope loops at the top. She unhooked the loops and lowered the bed to the floor. A quilt was spread over the top mattress. A quick check found a sheet and two feather pillows in embroidered cases beneath it.
A horse snorted. A dog barked. In another wagon, a baby cried. Emma shivered in the encroaching cold and slid beneath the quilt, relishing the welcoming softness of the feather mattress, wishing for secure walls and a solid roof. Silence pressed, broken only by the whispering rush of the nearby river.
Commit thy way unto him…. If only it were that simple a thing. She stretched, yawned and pulled the quilt snug under her chin. Her eyelids drifted closed. William had such faith. But William was not a woman who longed with her whole heart to be a doctor. And he did not have to contend with despotic men like Zachary Thatcher. Nonetheless, for William…
She opened her eyes and looked up at the canvas arching overhead. “Almighty God, all of my life I have dreamed of being a doctor. That dream is dead.” Accusation rose from her heart. She left the words unspoken, but the bitterness soured her tongue, lent acidity to her tone. “I have no other to replace it. Therefore, do with me what seems right in Your eyes. I commit my way unto Thee. Amen.” It was an ungracious yielding at best. A halfhearted acknowledgment that God could have a purpose for her, should He care to bother with it. But it was the best she could offer.
She frowned and closed her eyes. It was not worth a moment’s concern. Why did any of it matter? God did not deign to listen to her prayers.
Chapter Three
Emma lifted her face to the sunshine and breathed deep of the fresh, sweet fragrance the grass released as it was crushed under the wagon wheels.
Traveler snorted, tossed his head and pranced. She leaned forward and stroked his neck. “I know, boy. I am weary of this slow pace, too.” She pursed her lips, glanced over her shoulder. Anne had yielded to her discomfort and exhaustion and taken to her bed in her wagon after their midday rest stop. She did not need her. And it was such a fine day. Surely it would not hurt to explore a bit. Perhaps ride out to see what was over that rise ahead on their right.
She shifted in the saddle, took a firmer grip on the reins. For over a week they had been plodding along, and she was tired of seeing nothing but wagons. She was longing for a real ride. And Traveler needed a run. Surely that was reason enough to disobey Mr. Thatcher’s edict to stay by the wagons. His mount was being exercised. She smiled and touched her heels to the horse’s sides.
Traveler lunged forward, raced over the beckoning green expanse toward the gentle swell of land. Emma let him have his head, thrilled by his quick response, the bunch and thrust of his powerful muscles, the musical drum of his hoofbeats against the ground.
Hoofbeats. Too many. And out of cadence.
She glanced over her shoulder, spotted a rider astride a large roan bearing down on her from an angle that would easily overtake her. A rider in faded blue cavalry garb and a wide-brimmed, once-yellow hat. She frowned, slowed Traveler to a lope. The roan’s hoofbeats thundered close. Zachary Thatcher and his mount raced by her, wheeled at the top of the rise and stopped full in her path.
Emma gasped and drew rein. Traveler dug in his hoofs, went down on his haunches and stopped in front of the immobile roan with inches to spare. Fury ripped through her. She leaned forward as Traveler surged upright, then straightened in the saddle and glared at Zachary Thatcher. “Are you mad! I could have been thrown! Or—”
“Killed!” He jerked his arm to the side. One long finger jutted out from his hand and aimed toward the ground behind him. Or where ground should have been.
Emma stared, shivered with a chill that raced down her spine at sight of the deep fissure on the other side of the rise.
“This is not a well-groomed riding trail in Philadelphia, Miss Allen!” Zachary Thatcher’s cold, furious voice lashed at her. “It is foolhardy and thoughtless for you to race over ground you do not know. There are hidden dangers all over these prairies. That is why I scout out the trail. Now go back to the wagons. And do not ride out by yourself again! I do not have time to waste saving you from your own foolishness.”
Emma fought to stem her shivering. “Mr. Thatcher, I—” She lost the battle. Her voice trembled, broke.
“I am not interested in your excuses, Miss Allen.” He gave her a look of pure disgust, reined the roan around and thundered off toward his place out in front of the wagon column.
Emma stared after him, looked back at that deep, dark gape in the ground and slipped from the saddle. “I’m sorry, boy. I’m so sorry. You could have—” Her voice caught on a sob. She threw her arms around Traveler’s neck, buried her face against the warm flesh and let the tears come.
The sameness was wearying. Day after day, nothing but blue sky, green, rolling plains and wagons. And slow, plodding oxen. Emma arched her back and wiggled her shoulders. She was an excellent rider, but though she was becoming inured to sitting on a horse all day, it still resulted in an uncomfortable stiffness.
“Whoa, Traveler.” She braced to slide from the saddle and walk for a short while, heard hoofbeats pounding and looked up to see Zachary Thatcher racing back toward the train.
“Get to the low ground ahead on the left and circle the wagons! Lash them together! Move!” He raced on down the line of wagons shouting the order.
What—
“Haw, Baldy! Haw, Bright!”
Garth Lundquist’s whip cracked over the backs of the lead team. Cracked again. The oxen lunged forward. He jumped onto the tongue and grabbed the front board. Emma caught her breath, watched him climb into the wagon box even as the vehicle lurched after the wagons in front that were already bouncing their way over the rough ground. She sagged with relief when he gained his seat.
“Hurry on, Scar. Move, Big Boy! Haw! Haw!”
Ernst’s whip and voice joined the din. Emma looked back. Anne’s oxen teams were settling into an awkward run, the wagon jolting along behind.
Annie! That jarring was not good for Annie!
Emma halted Traveler, waited for the oxen teams to pass so she could tell Ernst to slow down. Wind rose, whipped the gauzy tails of her riding hat into her face. She brushed them back and turned to lower her head against the force of the blow, gasped. The western half of the sky had turned dark as night. Black clouds foamed at the edge of the darkness, tumbled and rolled east at a great speed. Lightning flashed sulfurous streaks across the roiling mass. Thunder rumbled. And rain poured from the clouds to earth in a solid, gray curtain.
The old terror gripped her, lessened in intensity from the span of eighteen years, but still there. She braced herself against the memory of lightning striking the old, dilapidated shed where she and Billy had lived with other street orphans—closed her mind to the remembered crackle of the devouring flames, the screams of Bobby and Joe who had been trapped inside. She heeled Traveler into motion, urged him close to her sister’s wagon, then clapped her hand over her hat’s crown and leaned toward the canvas cover as the horse trotted alongside. “Anne, there is a terrible storm coming. Brace yourself for a rough ride.” The wind fluttered the canvas, bent the brim of her hat backward. She raised her voice. “Hold on tight, Anne! Protect your ribs! Do you hear me? Protect your ribs!”
“I hear—”
The iron rim of the front wagon wheel clanged and jerked over a stone. The wagon tilted, slammed back to earth. There was a sharp cry from inside.
“Anne?”
A sudden drumming sound drowned out any answer. Hail the size of a cherry hit her with stinging force, bounced off the canvas cover. Emma raced Traveler ahead, fell in behind her own wagon to gain some protection from the driving wind and pelting ice. The rain came, soaked her clothes. She lowered her head, hunched over and rode on, the hail pummeling her back.
Garth Lundquist guided the oxen toward the inside of the forming circle, stopped the wagon in place with the outside front wheel in line with the inside back wheel of his father’s wagon that had stopped ahead of them. Emma sighed with relief, thought of the dry clothes awaiting her inside and would have smiled if her lips hadn’t been pulled taut with cold and fear.
She glanced across the distance, watched as Ernst pulled Anne’s wagon into place on the other side. Other wagons followed on both sides until the circle was complete. The enclosed oxen bawled, bugled their fear. Men jumped from their wagon seats and ran forward to calm their teams and lash the wagons together as ordered. Wagons rocked. Canvas covers fluttered and flapped.
Emma slid from the saddle, tethered Traveler to the back of the wagon then slipped through the narrow gap between the two side-by-side wheels. She skirted around her nervous, bawling oxen being calmed by her driver, and headed for Anne’s wagon. Wind buffeted her, whipped her sodden skirts into a frenzy. She reached to hold them down and her hat flew away. Hail struck with bruising force against the side of her face. The rain stung like needles. She turned her face away from the wind and struggled on across the inner oval to the side of the wagon. “Are you all right, Anne?” The wind stole her words. She raised her voice to a shout. “Are you all right, Anne? I thought I heard you cry out.” She cupped her ear against the fluttering onsaburg.
“I’m all right, Emma. Come in out of the rain!”
“I have to get out of these wet clothes. I will come back when the storm is over!” Water dripped off her flailing hair, dribbled down her wet back. Emma shivered and turned. A hand grasped her arm. She lifted her bowed head, looked into the fear-filled eyes of a sodden woman holding a folded blanket to her chest. The woman’s lips moved. She leaned forward to hear her.
“Please, Miss. You were ridin’. Did you see my little girl, Jenny? I’ve checked with everyone and she’s not here. She must of fell out of the wagon, and—” Lightning flickered through the darkened sky, streaked to earth with a crack that drowned out the woman’s voice. Thunder clapped, rumbled. “—did you see her?”
“No. I am sorry, but I did not.”
The woman swayed, sagged against the side of the wagon. Her lips trembled. “You were my last hope. Oh, God…my baby…my baby…” She lifted her hands, buried her face in the blanket.
Emma’s throat constricted. She put her arm about the woman’s shoulders, though she wanted desperately to go to her wagon. “Please don’t—there is still hope. My head was bowed, I was not looking—” She stopped. Closed her eyes. If the child had fallen out of the wagon she was probably injured, or worse. But if she did survive the fall, this storm… The storm! She took a shuddering breath and held out her hand. “Give me the blanket. I will go back and look for your daughter.”
The woman lifted her head. Hope and doubt mingled in her eyes. “Now?”
Emma nodded, took the blanket from the woman’s hands. “She will need this when I find her.” If I am not too late.
She battled her way back to her wagon, climbed over the chains Garth had used to lash the wheels together and reached up to untie the back opening in the canvas. There was no time now to change out of her wet clothes, but she needed her doctor’s bag. And Caroline’s rain cape. She bit down on her trembling lips, tried to stop shivering and concentrate on her task. It was no use. The flapping had drawn the knots too tight—her chilled fingers could not undo them.
Lightning sizzled to earth with an ear-deafening crack. Emma cringed against the wagon, shivering and shaking so hard she feared her joints would detach. Hot tears stung her eyes. She tugged again at the knots, yanking at the bottom edge of the canvas when they did not yield. A spatter of water from the canvas was her only reward. A chill shook her to her toes. She sagged back against the wagon, ceding defeat.
The patient’s welfare must always come first, Emma. A good doctor does not hesitate to sacrifice time or comfort, or to do whatever he must to save a life.
How many times had Papa Doc said that to her when they were called to a patient’s side in the middle of the night? Strength of purpose flowed into her. “Thank you, Papa Doc.” She shoved away from the wagon, unhitched Traveler and mounted. Coat or no coat, doctor’s bag or not, she would go. The child did not have a chance of surviving the storm without her.
Please, God, let me find her soon. She cannot live in this storm. Emma lifted her lips in a grim smile. Why did she pray when she did not expect God to answer? Why did it make her feel better? It was foolishness.
Her teeth clattered together. She clenched her jaw, but could not sustain the pressure. She had never been so cold. But at least the hail had stopped and the wind was at her back. She tried to use her misery to block out her fear. It was impossible. Every time the lightning flashed across the sky and streaked to the ground with a thunderous clap that made the very air vibrate, she had to hold herself from screaming. She dare not let Traveler sense her terror. Thank goodness he was not a horse to panic at the flashes and rumbles.
“Good b-boy, Traveler.” She patted the horse’s neck, studied the ground in front of her. The rain and hail had beaten the grasses down so that it was difficult to make out the wagon tracks. If only the land were not all the same! Had she come far enough? Was this where they had started the wild run with the wagons? Was she even looking in the right place?
Almighty God, for that little girl’s sake, guide me to her, I pray. She lifted her head and peered through the deluge, trying to spot something familiar. Something she had noticed earlier that afternoon. There had been a rise with a dip in the middle of the top. She had wondered if there was a pond….
Lightning glinted, turned the sky into a watery, yellow nightmare with a coruscating tail dropping to the earth. Thunder crashed. She rode on, topped the next swell and spotted the rise she was looking for off to the right. She had been going the wrong way. She slumped in the saddle, discouraged, frightened. What if she got lost out here? What if—
“Stop that this i-instant, Emma Allen! That little g-girl needs y-you!” She could barely hear her own voice above the pounding rain. But the scolding worked. She squared her shoulders, wiped the rain from her eyes and reined Traveler around. The wind slapped a long tress of freed hair across her eyes. She brushed it back, wiped the sheeting water from her forehead. She would surely find the wagon tracks now. Then she could line them up with that rise and backtrack. She rode down the other side of the swell into a broad swale, urged Traveler into a lope and came up the knoll on the other side. And there, lying on the sodden grass, was the child.
“Whoa!” Traveler danced to a stop. “Please G-God. Please l-let her be a-l-live.” Emma slid from the saddle, led Traveler close and dropped the reins to the ground. Please let him stand. She grabbed the blanket she had been sitting on to keep it dry, knelt beside the child and touched a cold, tiny wrist. A faint throbbing pulsed against her fingers. Tears sprang to her eyes, mingled with the rain on her cheeks. She blinked her vision clear, leaned over the child to protect her from the bone-chilling downpour and began to examine the small body.
The storm had let up, except for the relentless rain. The occasional glimmer of lightning and grumble of thunder in the distance held no menace. Zach circled the herd of stock one last time. They were bunched and settled, the threat of a stampede past. The others would be able to handle them now. He slapped the water from his hat, peered through the rain at the wagons. Some had not moved, despite his relayed order. Must be there were problems Blake couldn’t handle. He rode down into the shallow basin and headed toward the Lewis wagon.
“Be reasonable, Lorna.”
“I’m not moving from this place without her.”
“Blake said it’s only a short ways. If she—”
“Don’t say if, Joseph Lewis. Don’t you dare say if!” The Lewis woman buried her face in her apron and burst into tears.
Zach scowled. This was no time for a domestic argument. “I ordered all the wagons moved to higher, dryer ground, Lewis. They’ll bog here when the water soaks in. Unless you have a broken wheel or axle, get rolling.”
“It’s not the wagon, sir. It’s—it’s—” The man looked at his wife, cleared his throat. “Our little Jenny has come up missing. The missus asked all around for her and no one has seen her. We—we figure she fell out of the wagon during our run here. But I’ll find someone to move the wagon while I go look—”
The wife jerked the apron from her face. “I ain’t leaving this place ’till she comes back, Joseph Lewis! If this wagon moves, it goes without me. She’ll come here, and I’ve got to know one way or…or the other.”
“Hush, Lorna! I told you if Miss Allen—”
“Miss Allen?” Zach’s scowl deepened. “What does Miss Allen have to do with your daughter?”
“She went to look for her.”
Anger shot him bolt upright in the saddle. Fool woman! He’d told her not to go riding off by herself. Now he’d have two lost people to search for! At least she couldn’t have much of a head start on him. His face tightened. “How long ago did Miss Allen leave?”
“Why, right away. When I was askin’ round about Jenny. She said she would find her, and she got on her horse and rode off.”
“During the storm?”
The woman nodded. Her lips quivered. “She took the blanket with her. To warm Jenny when she found her.”
The fury of the storm was nothing compared to the anger that flashed through him. Zach stood in the stirrups, looked behind him. “Blake! Get these wagons moving! Every one of them!” He looked down at the man beside him. “Lewis, you move your wagon out with the others. I know this land, and if it’s humanly possible, I’ll bring your daughter back to you.”
He glanced up at the misty light filtering through the rain. It would soon be night—and Miss Allen was out there searching unknown land with no trail experience to fall back on. Fool women. May he be spared from them all! He urged Comanche into a lope and started back along the wagon trail.
Chapter Four
Zach swiped off the water sluicing from his hat brim and squinted through the rain at the dark shape ahead. It was a horse, all right. One with an empty saddle. Where was the Allen woman? He scanned the area as far as he could see through the downpour. There was no sign of her. Had the horse been frightened by lightning and thrown her? Had he ridden past her unconscious, injured body in the storm?
He muttered a couple choice words he’d picked up in the cavalry and urged Comanche into a walk. If he spooked her horse, he might have to chase it for miles and he needed it to carry Miss Allen and the child back when he found them—no matter what their condition. His stomach knotted. He was used to handling injured or wounded or even dead soldiers—but a woman and child…
Zach shoved the disquieting thought away and focused on the job at hand. The first thing was to catch the horse. He reined Comanche to circle wide to the right, so the horse would not perceive them as a threat and bolt. He watched the horse, saw it lower its head and kneed Comanche left to move in a little closer. If he— There she was!
Zach halted Comanche, stared at the figure kneeling on the ground in front of the horse, head down, shoulders hunched forward, her back to the driving rain. It was, indeed, Miss Allen. And she was likely injured, else she’d be riding. He told the wind what he thought of foolish women, slid from the saddle and dropped the reins.
Water squirted from beneath his boots as he strode to Miss Allen’s huddled body. Why was she holding that blanket instead of— She’d found the child!
“Miss Allen?” Zach touched her shoulder, felt the icy-cold flesh beneath the soaked gown, the shivers coursing through her. She lifted her head, stared up at him. Blinked. Her trembling lips moved.
“I f-found her.”
He nodded, swept his gaze over her. “Where are you injured, Miss Allen?”
“Not inj-jured.”
“Not—” Irritation broke though his control. “If you can ride, why are you sitting here?”
An expression close to disgust swept across her face. “Sh-she’s injured. I c-can’t mount.”
Zach stared. Scowled. What was she planning to do? Sit here all night in the storm, shielding the child with her body? She could have— He squelched the thought. What did he expect of a greenhorn woman? “You can now.” He leaned over and held out his arms. “Let me have the child.”
She shook her head.
“Miss Allen! You and the child both need to get back to warmth and shelter. And I—”
“Have to…b-be careful. Her arm is broken…h-head injured. I will c-carry her. And we m-must walk horses.”
“Walk them! But you need to get out of—” He stopped, stared at her lifted chin, the sudden set look of her face. “All right, Miss Allen, you will carry the child, and we will walk the horses. Now, give her to me, and let’s get you mounted.” He took the blanket-swaddled child, cradled her in one arm and held out his free hand.
Holding the child was a handicap. And Miss Allen was so stiff and sluggish with cold, so weighted down by her long, sodden skirts, it took him three tries, but at last he had her in the saddle. He handed her the reins, placed the child in her shivering arms and whistled for Comanche. The big roan came dutifully to his side.
“I’ll have you warmer in a minute.” Zach unlashed the bedroll from behind his saddle and yanked the ties. He shook out his blanket, tossed it over Miss Allen’s shoulders and covered it with his India-rubber groundsheet. He grabbed the flapping ends, crossed them over each other in front to cover the child and secured them to the saddle horn with one of the ties. It was the best he could do to warm and protect them.
“Th-thank you.”
Zach looked up. Rain washed down Miss Allen’s face, dropped off her chin onto the rubber sheet and sluiced away. She was shivering so hard he had doubts of her ability to stay in the saddle. He took off his hat and clapped it on her wet hair. It slid down to her eyebrows. “Keep your head down, we’ll be facing into the storm on the way back. And hold on to that horn, I’ll lead your horse.” He took the reins from her and leaped into the saddle, started Comanche toward the wagons at a slow walk.
Rain drenched his hair, funneled down his neck to soak his coat collar and dampen his shirt. Zach frowned and hunched his shoulders as a drop found an opening and slithered down his back. It was going to be a long ride.
A pinpoint of light glowed in the darkness ahead. Only one reason for that. Someone had got a fire started. Zach stared at the welcome sight, a frisson of expectation spreading through him. That should cheer the Allen woman. It made him feel better. There was nothing like a fire when you were cold and wet and feeling miserable. Especially if there was a pot of coffee simmering on the coals.
Zach scanned the area as best he could through the rain, trying to spot the night guards. It wouldn’t do to startle them. The greenhorns were liable to shoot before they were sure of their target. He looked back at the fire, close enough now that he could see the light flickering and make out the crude, canvas canopy someone had rigged. He hadn’t expected any of the emigrants to figure a way to start a fire in a rainstorm, let alone know how to protect it. Likely it was the Lewises, guiding their way back.
