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Mr P: ‘And what are we going to say to the owners of the first house?’
‘I thought perhaps the production team could use it.’
‘What do you know about production teams?’
Before I could admit to total ignorance, APJ suddenly recovered his composure. ‘Hey, Milton and Amy could use it. It would be perfect. Near the studio, near Marilyn.’ Now he was the PR man, selling it to us. I suppose that in Hollywood people like him have to jump backward somersaults every day.
Mr P: ‘OK, that’s settled then. Arrange for both houses to be rented from 9 July, for four months. By the way, how much are they?’
‘£100 per week, each.’
Mr P’s eyebrows went up. Then he brightened. ‘Well, it comes out of Marilyn Monroe Productions’ budget.’
‘Don’t you want to see the other house?’ (I was really proud of it.)
‘Nah, no need, we trust you boy.’ Arthur had completely changed sides, and probably did not fancy another trip in the Bristol. Mr P nodded towards the door, and I left. Soon APJ left too. ‘See you, kid,’ to me. ‘Bye, sweetheart,’ to the secretaries. Then Mr P: ‘See you tomorrow, Colin.’ Just a hint of a smile.
I call that victory.
FRIDAY, 15 JUNE
And a victory it is.
On Monday I start working on the staff of LOP Ltd, at £8.10s. per week, as Mr P’s assistant. When I came in this morning, Mr P called me into his office and actually gave a grin. Somehow Arthur Jacobs had persuaded himself that the whole house business was his triumph and had gone away (to Paris) happy. Mr P loathes him – quite rightly, he’s a bullying shit – and sees it as his success, a problem neatly solved by a member of his staff (!).
‘Never trust that Hollywood crowd, Colin. The better you are, the more likely they are to stab you in the back.’
The secretaries already knew of my appointment and offered friendly congratulations. I’ve been living in their office for two weeks only now am I officially one of them. It means that I can share the gossip with Vanessa, which will be useful as well as fun.
Gilman bounded in and gave a whoop of delight. ‘You can get his lunch now – official!’
It did seem rather wasteful for Sir Laurence and Lady Olivier’s Bentley and chauffeur to be sent in every day just to get Mr P a cheese roll. The pub is only 100 yards away, but that’s showbiz.
It seems that as from Monday there will be another LOP production office at Pinewood. They will have the job of hiring all the personnel and facilities needed to make the film, and the Pinewood accounts office will pay people too – including me. Mr P promised to take me down to look over the studios in a few weeks’ time.
‘We’d better try to get you a job on the production side for later on. You won’t want to stay with me once filming starts.’
He has become quite fatherly. I rang Cotes-Preedy who is very excited. Naturally he believes the newspaper report that MM is going to stay in his house, and I did not disabuse him. Then I rang Garrett Moore,
(#litres_trial_promo) who owns house No 2. A bit of panic when he said the whole thing was off, but I guessed the problem. ‘£100 a week is not enough,’ he said severely. He is extremely astute and can somehow tell he has me over a barrel. I had told him, on pain of death to keep it a secret, that MM was going to be the tenant, and since he fancies himself as God’s gift to women, I knew he was not going to refuse. I’ll bet he secretly thinks that he will get to meet her and that she will be unable to resist his languid charm. Eventually we settled for £120 per week. Mr P had said ‘Price no object’, so I didn’t bother to check back with him. But I did insist on going down to Parkside House over the weekend. I just can’t resist meeting Garrett’s wife, Joan.
(#litres_trial_promo) She is incredibly beautiful. I hope the house is also as attractive as I remember it. Right now I’m going out to get sloshed at the Stork.
(#litres_trial_promo) To eat, drink and, as Al Burnett would say, ‘Make Merry.’
MONDAY, 18 JUNE
A great weekend. On Friday night I told all the girls about my job. They were very impressed and I succeeded in getting Yvonne into bed at last. She is tough as an alley cat on the surface but quite scared underneath – like an alley cat is, I suppose. She is really too moody for me, but she was just the company I needed to stop me getting big-headed. After all, I’m not exactly going to direct MM in a movie yet.
I had quite a hangover on Saturday, but I spent Sunday sleeping in the garden and today I felt really good.
This morning Mr P gave me quite a cheerful, for him, ‘Hello Colin,’ when he came in. Mind you, if you didn’t know him, you’d have thought he was going to a funeral. He must have a wardrobe full of the same clothes as he never varies what he wears, day by day. Brown tweed suit, dark brown shoes, pale brown shirt, brown tie etc. Gilman said he’d never ever seen him in anything else. (There is a Mrs P. I wonder what she thinks?) After a bit, Mr P called me into the office.
‘You might as well know everything we are doing if you are to be any use.’
He showed me a huge squared-off sheet of paper, covered in columns and names and shaded squares.
This is really Mr P’s pride and joy, his chef d’oeuvre, his bible. It is called a cross-plot. It has been cunningly worked out so that Pinewood’s studios A and B can be alternated, with different ‘sets’ being built on one stage while the other was being used for filming.
To get the most out of each set the film is not shot in chronological order. If there is a scene in a particular room at the beginning of the story and another scene at the end in the same room, then they will both be filmed together. This is especially hard for film actors who have to develop a character in fits and starts.
The major actors also have to be fitted into the cross-plot so that we get the most out of them in the shortest time. Dame Sybil Thorndike,
(#litres_trial_promo) for instance, is going to play Sir Laurence’s mother-in-law (no more ‘Larry’ now that I’m officially working for him). But she is also booked for a West End stage play, so all her scenes have to be shot first if possible and most should be finished before the play begins. (Some of her scenes need special effects and these can be put in later.) SLO
(#litres_trial_promo) and MM and Richard Wattis
(#litres_trial_promo) are in virtually all the scenes so they don’t influence the cross-plot much.
MM has a terrible reputation for being late on the set, and not turning up at all on some days. Mr P has scheduled her to do all her scenes first with a long list of alternate shots, cutaways and reactions which can be put in at short notice if MM is not available.
‘What happens if shooting gets a week behind? The whole plan will collapse.’
Mr P grinned a Machiavellian grin and pulled out a second sheet and a third.
‘We just switch sheets. Warner Bros will never know.’
I gather that Warner Bros is lending LOP and MMP the money to make the film. Already I hear Mr P say: ‘Charge it to MMP’ pretty frequently. I wonder if MMP is MM herself, or a group of people backing her.
I don’t dare ask anything about MM. It seems in bad taste, like asking about childbirth. Anyway my job is to be preparing for MM’s arrival. Police, press, chauffeur, bodyguard, servants, redecorations, everything to delight her eye and soothe her nerves. She must be a very difficult lady. I can’t believe anyone is so unreasonable and silly, that they have to be spoiled so much. What would Nanny have said?
TUESDAY, 19 JUNE
Six weeks until filming starts and a lot to prepare. Mr P depends on me a lot now but of course he won’t need me at all when it does. Today a David Orton came in, and Mr P warned me that on him my future in the production would depend. He is going to be 1st Assistant Director. This does not mean SLO’s assistant (SLO being the director), but the man in charge of seeing that everyone in the studio does what they are told.
‘He’s a sort of sergeant major,’ explained Mr P.
This didn’t sound very attractive and I can’t say I liked him at all. Blondish-mousy hair, a thin face and glasses which he is forever pushing up onto the bridge of his nose with his forefinger. He did not take to me either:
‘Have you worked on a film before?’
‘No.’
‘Then forget it. If you haven’t made a film already then you aren’t in the union, and there is no way in which you can work on a film, in any capacity.’
Very funny! It seems the union is the ACT, the Association of Cinematograph Technicians, and they are a famous ‘closed shop’. (No card, no film; no film, no card.)
So Mr Orton advised me to stay in Mr P’s office. This is very disappointing. Mr P has already told me I can’t stay in his office after production begins. And anyway I want to be a film director, not producer.
Mr P cheered me up by telling me to go down to see Diana Dors’
(#litres_trial_promo) house tomorrow. It is somewhere near Ascot or maybe Henley. I’ve only got the phone number so far. Her agent has learned that MM is looking for something for the summer and thinks it might be good publicity if they could swap houses. Of course we already have two houses, for MM and her manager, but I suppose some other creeps like APJ might arrive from America so I’ll go and look.
Diana Dors always seems very sexy, even if extremely common. A bit of a tart.
WEDNESDAY, 20 JUNE
Diana Dors is divine. She’s as vulgar and cheeky as I imagined from her films, but with a hilarious sense of humour. She never stops cracking jokes and telling stories. Her conversations peppered with F—s and C—s.
Her house is near the river, although I couldn’t see it, as she has a huge indoor pool. She and a starlet friend were sitting by the pool in bikinis when I arrived. DD is smaller than you would think in real life. I suppose the camera exaggerates her on purpose. She is quite a pretty girl, and her friend was even prettier but not so vivacious. DD could not care less about the house swap but she did want to hear about MM. It was quite a let-down when I was forced to admit that I hadn’t met MM yet. DD got bored very quickly, so to liven things up she and her friend both took off their bikini tops and jumped into the pool. That got my attention all right. There were two workmen hammering at something at the far end and their eyes stood out like organ stops. They just downed tools and stared.
Both girls have beautiful, quite small breasts but I must admit that they were so brazen that I was more embarrassed than rapacious. They must have been on the game together in the old days, is my guess.
The house is much too small for MM or her retinue, and has no class at all. With this film, MM is trying to go up in the world, not down. So I left silently and reported back to Mr P. He just chuckled. He hates film stars really.
THURSDAY, 21 JUNE
Thank goodness, I was completely wrong about David Orton. Underneath that severe exterior he is a very nice man. He is just awkward with people until he knows them.
He is married to a pretty, jolly make-up girl called Penny, who picked him up this evening. His world is the film studio, where he is in charge of course, and he is very experienced. He gave me a long explanation about how film studios work. Like in every job, there is a hierarchy which is very important. This is true in each department – the lighting cameraman is head of one group, and pretty much above everyone except the director, the designer has his crew – set-dressers, down to chippies (carpenters); there is wardrobe, make-up, film editing etc., each with their own structure. The Director has an Associate Director, but his right-hand man is the 1st Assistant Director – David in our case.
The lowest of the low is the 3rd Assistant Director who is known as a ‘gofer’. Anyone can tell him to ‘go for this, go for that’.
This is the job he’ll try to get for me, but even a 3rd Ast Dir needs a union card and that is the hardest thing in the world to get: actually it is the same card as a director needs to work on a film, but it is a different grade. David has promised to try and come up with a scheme to get round the union ‘closed shop’ rule. I trust him.
Mr P has other worries and so has SLO. I’m not surprised. I saw the play on which the film is going to be based: The Sleeping Prince. Larry and Vivien did it together – at the Phoenix Theatre in 1953–4
(#litres_trial_promo) – and it was a very slight piece indeed. Typical Rattigan
(#litres_trial_promo) – theatrical, charming and that’s all. Vivien was enchanting as ever, despite a funny accent. But I thought Larry was at his worst. He has an old-fashioned notion that it is funny to play European royalty, and he gets wooden and mannered. The whole play ended up like a sort of 1930s in-joke – hardly Hollywood. I can’t see it being a good role for MM. I suppose she thinks it will enhance her new ‘intellectual’ image. She will certainly have been told what a fantastic opportunity it is to play opposite the greatest classical actor of the generation etc. But Rattigan is no Shakespeare. Unless MM is cleverer than she looks, she will find it jolly hard to mix her style with Olivier’s. She is said to be reading Dostoevsky or War and Peace or something so maybe she will surprise us all. Diana Dors surprised me, but she’s more a crafty cockney than an intellectual.
FRIDAY, 22 JUNE
SLO came in, in quite a state. Problems already. After a bit I was called in to Mr P’s office to ‘join the discussions’ – providing I do not speak unless asked a direct question! It seems that MM is going to marry Arthur Miller
(#litres_trial_promo) this weekend. What sort of an effect will that have on her? And on the production? Will Miller persuade her not to come, and whisk her off on a glamorous honeymoon? SLO says he is a self-satisfied, argumentative, pseudo-intellectual. Charming. Will he help MM or make her argumentative too? She has a dreadful reputation already among movie directors. She is always late on the set, often does not show up for days on end, and can never remember her lines. What on earth can be the matter?
Her producer, and the co-producer of the film, with SLO, is called Milton Greene.
(#litres_trial_promo) It is for him that I have rented Tibbs Farm. He will be responsible for MM while she is here, making sure she does turn up and keeping an eye on the expenses. But it seems he does not like Arthur Miller. He got MM out of her 20th Century contract, together with a lawyer called Irving Stein.
(#litres_trial_promo) Evidently Milton Greene has given SLO his assurance that he can make MM behave herself.
After all it is her own money that is involved this time. Marilyn Monroe Productions (MMP) has a big share in the profits, just like LOP. If MM doesn’t turn up for work, then she (and her partners, Greene and Stein
(#litres_trial_promo)) start losing money. That is the theory. I don’t know if it has occurred to any of them that while the three men involved (MG, IS and AM) want money, MM may be more interested in her career, but I didn’t dare say so. Poor SLO. He is already upset enough. He doesn’t trust any of the Americans and is out of his depth.
‘What have I got myself into, Colin?’
‘I think it will be a fantastic success, Larry,’ I replied (using Larry for the last time, I swear it).
Mr P beamed in the background. His prodigy had said the right thing. ‘Success for her or success for me?’ said SLO but he was comforted for the moment (so easily?!).
And on top of AM there is the problem of the Strasbergs.
(#litres_trial_promo) Lee Strasberg is the head of the Actors’ Studio in New York, where MM sometimes studies (like once??). He is her god. He doesn’t want to come over to London and desert his other students so he is sending over his wife, Paula. Paula Strasberg is a famous menace. As MM’s ‘drama coach’ she could undermine SLO.
Naturally SLO wants a professional actor’s approach. MM learns the role and decides how to play it; SLO makes suggestions, they discuss them, MM alters her performance accordingly etc. What will Paula’s approach be? How will she fit in between them?
Throughout all this, a new idea has occurred to me. A couple of years ago, Lee and Paula’s daughter Susan completely stole my heart in a film called Picnic. Susan played the kid sister of a blonde called Kim Novak. KN was meant to be the beautiful one and SS the ugly duckling – aged about 15, I suppose. Needless to say SS was 100 times more attractive than Novak in every way. I am a complete sucker for little skinny girls with big brown eyes. At the time I fell in love with Susan Strasberg, I had only just got over Pier Angeli marrying some dreadful Hollywood crooner.
(#litres_trial_promo) I could hardly stop myself from asking whether Paula was bringing her daughter with her. I suppose not, but with luck, Susan might visit her Mum.
Anyway, I kept quiet.
Mr P and SLO had a long moan about Hollywood and Hollywood types and agents, lawyers, producers, stars. I don’t think SLO is jealous. After all he and Vivien have both had huge Hollywood successes. He just can’t stand the lack of professionalism. He sees ‘the Method’, which originates in New York, of course, but influences all the new Hollywood stars, as an excuse for self-indulgence.
Everyone is seduced by MM’s particular form of glamour and SLO fears he has fallen into a trap. MM is not like any leading lady he’s ever known and he can’t fathom it. He can’t figure out whether she has a brain in her head or not. He knows he’s a very attractive man, but she doesn’t seem to have really noticed him. She only sees his reputation. She’ll be here in three weeks and then we’ll find out.
It’s true that I don’t think of SLO as a movie star, despite Henry V and all the films he’s made. I think of him as a great actor. How will a ‘star’ and an actor mix. They’ll have to find somewhere to meet between the sky and the stage.
I know I want to be a professional, like SLO. If I get a job on the film, I must stick to him like glue!
MONDAY, 25 JUNE
The whole office is busy planning for MM’s arrival. Frequent directions arrive from America about the colours she likes, the materials she likes, the decorations she likes. The dressing-room suite at Pinewood is to be all beige. In fact beige is the only colour everyone agrees is safe. Red is out. Blue is out. Green is out. It is as if these colours were enemies.
Garrett and Joan are having the master bedroom suite at Englefield Green repainted white. They say they hate beige and won’t change it. I told them I was having their village renamed Englefield Beige. For the money we (well, MMP to be accurate) are paying them, they could repaint the whole house many times over, but Garrett is too mean.
I made an appointment for Thursday with the police at Heathrow Airport to plan MM’s arrival on 14 July. The Inspector thought I was kidding at first. But when I threatened 3000 fans he took me seriously.
Evidently when the crooner Johnny Ray came through, he – the Inspector – had his little finger broken in the mêlée. Johnny Ray’s publicity people had gone down to the East End and filled up four buses with slum teenagers. They gave each one 10 shillings to cause as much pandemonium as possible when Ray appeared. This they duly did, and Johnny Ray’s arrival was instant front-page news.
The Inspector says if we plan something like this he will personally have me arrested. I assure him that SLO himself has entrusted me with the job of getting MM into the country as discreetly as possible. He is still doubtful but I can tell that even he cannot resist the chance of meeting MM in the flesh. Her name has a magic effect.
People who are going to be associated with the production of the film drift in.
Roger Furse
(#litres_trial_promo) is going to be the designer. I have met him before with Vivien – I think at Notley. He always seems to have a hangover, never stops smoking. He ran out of Capstans and cadged three of my Woodbines. (I never get time to smoke anything larger.) Mr P won’t allow me to smoke in his office, despite his continual pipe puffing. I find Roger very sympathetic but Mr P clearly does not.
‘Never trust the dirty fingernail brigade, Colin,’ he said after Roger had left. ‘They pretend to be only doing it for their art, but they are always trying to wangle more money.’
I took a quick squint at my fingernails – not that clean. I need the job, not the money, but I suppose that I must admit I am prepared to wangle.
My worry is that Roger is rather too ‘stagey’. The more SLO surrounds himself with stage people, the more ‘stagey’ the film will be. Perhaps that’s the intention – to make the film a sort of period piece – rich, theatrical and far from MM’s normal image.
Jolly hard to pull off though. SLO may like it and MM may like it, but will filmgoers pay to see it?
