Her Mother's Shadow

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They got out of the car, and Lacey pulled her suitcase from the trunk.

“How is she doing?” she asked as they walked toward the building.

“Terrible,” Amelia said. “You can imagine what it’s been like for her. She only had her mother. She’s lost her world.”

Lacey thought back to her own mother’s death. “Is she able to sleep?” she asked. “Is she having nightmares?”

“I don’t know.” Without asking, Amelia took the suitcase from Lacey and began lugging it up the stairs to the second story of condominiums. Lacey didn’t protest. It was too damn hot. “She’s staying with Mary,” Amelia said, “another friend of Jessica’s who has a daughter Mackenzie’s age. Mary could tell you how she’s doing. All I’ve heard is that she’s gotten very quiet and has lost about five pounds in the past two days.”

Lacey could barely picture Mackenzie. She’d been a skinny kid the last time she saw her. If she’d lost five pounds back then, she would have been skeletal.

Amelia stopped at one of the second-story doors. She slipped her key into the lock and pushed the door open, and Lacey felt the welcome rush of cool air hit her face.

The condominium was small and neat and tastefully decorated with furniture and accessories that looked as though they’d come from Pier One.

“Your place is so cute,” Lacey said, touching the arm of the squat gold sofa. “And it’s so nice of you to put me up.”

Amelia rolled the suitcase into the guest bedroom, which was filled with white wicker furniture. “Not a problem,” she said. “Why don’t you get unpacked and then come into the kitchen and have a glass of iced tea or something.”

“Okay.” What Lacey really wanted was a shower. She felt grimy from the flight and the heat.

“Mary—the woman Mackenzie’s staying with—and another friend are coming over in a little while,” Amelia said. “We’re going to try to plan the memorial service tonight. I hope that’s okay with you. We thought you’d probably want to be in on the planning.”

“Sure.” Lacey nodded, although she had not even thought of that. “Will Nola be here, too?”

Amelia opened the closet door and pulled some empty hangers from among the items of clothing. “I don’t think Nola’s up to it,” she said, her back to Lacey. She turned, handed her the empty hangers, and sat down on the edge of the bed. “The truth is, Nola’s really upset about you being named guardian,” she said. “And we’re all … well, we’re a little confused about it. Not that you wouldn’t be the right person to do it,” she added quickly. “It’s just that …” She looked at the wall instead of Lacey. “Well, we didn’t think you’ve had any special connection to Mackenzie.”

“Who is ‘we’?” Lacey hoisted the suitcase onto the bed and started to unzip it.

“All Jessie’s friends,” Amelia said. “And, of course, Nola. Nola has seen Mackenzie at least once a year, and well, I don’t have kids, but Jessica has lots of friends who do and who would take Mackenzie in a heartbeat. And who are married, so Mackenzie would have two parents raising her.” Amelia lifted her hands in a helpless gesture, then dropped them to her lap. She had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I know this is coming out all wrong. I don’t seem to have the energy right now to make it come out right.”

“Are you one of the friends who would be a better choice?” Lacey asked, and Amelia’s eyes widened.

“No!” she said. “I’m only twenty-three, I’m not married, and I don’t have any kids of my own.”

“Well.” Lacey tried to smile. “Except for the twenty-three part, you just described me.” She pushed the suitcase toward the center of the bed so that she could sit down, herself. “I’m just as confused about this as you are, so you don’t need to feel awkward about it,” she said. “But Jessica’s attorney told me that she was very firm about wanting me to take Mackenzie. She obviously had her reasons, and I want to do what she wanted. I think it would be horrible to put a lot of thought and care into making a huge decision like that, and then have the people left behind not follow through on my wishes.”

Amelia nodded. “I know Jessica really cared about you,” she said. “Some of her friends don’t remember her talking about you, but I do. I was probably closest to her. She said that, even though you didn’t see each other much, she still considered you her best friend. Or maybe she didn’t say best, but she said that when you saw each other, you could just pick up where you left off without any problem.”

“That’s true.” It seemed like a slim reason to leave her child to her, though, Lacey thought. She pulled her thick hair up and held it against the back of her head to let the air-conditioning reach her neck. “I had a lot of time to think on the plane,” she added. “I came up with a few reasons she might have wanted me to take care of Mackenzie.”

“What are they?” Amelia asked.

“Maybe she wants Mackenzie to be raised in the place she was raised,” Lacey said, dropping her hair to her shoulders again. “In the Outer Banks.”

“That’s possible,” Amelia said. “She always talked about how she loved it there and she complained about how dry it was here. But she stayed here, didn’t she? I mean, she could have gone back. And if that was the reason, she could have left Mackenzie to her mother.”

“True. But I think Jessica really liked my family. She felt comfortable with us. Maybe she wanted Mackenzie to be part of that.”

Amelia nodded. “Well, maybe. Was she very close to your family? Is it big? I know she was always sad she had no brothers or sisters.”

“Well, she was close to us when we were kids, though not since she moved out here,” Lacey said. “I have a brother and a niece and a father and stepmother and half siblings. And my mother also died—”

“Yes, I remember Jessica saying something about that,” Amelia interrupted her. “Do you think that could be her reason? That she knew you would understand how Mackenzie felt, losing her mother?”

“I thought of that,” Lacey agreed. She’d also thought of another reason: Nola’s wanting Jessica to have an abortion and Lacey’s dissuading her from that decision, but she didn’t want to mention that to Amelia with Nola in town. “And there’s one other possibility I can think of,” Lacey added.

“What’s that?”

“I was always after Jessica to let Mackenzie’s father know that he had a daughter. To let the two of them at least know about each other’s existence, if not actually be in each other’s lives. Maybe she really wants that for Mackenzie and thinks I’ll do it.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.” Amelia shook her head, almost violently. “She never talked about him. What was his name? Bobby?”