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“That’s just a smokescreen. Though he doesn’t let it show, he feels very deeply. He’s been hurt, Katy. It takes him time to trust. But he’s a good man.” She laid a hand on Katy’s knee. “I know it’s been hard for you and your parents. And probably nothing I can say will totally reassure you. But I promise you, Adam would never do anything to deliberately hurt anyone. Especially family.”
“I want to believe that.” But she didn’t. Not for a second. Because that would mean everything her sister had told her was a lie. And believing that wasn’t an option.
Six
On a normal day, Adam was an active participant at the informal weekly management team briefing they held in his office, but today he couldn’t stop looking at the clock.
Nathaniel Everett, their Chief Brand Officer was explaining the new campaign his team had been developing to promote their latest, ecologically friendly practices. Groundbreaking upgrades that would not only keep them in line with future federal guidelines, but no doubt result in record profits.
On a normal day that would have filled Adam with a thrilling sense of accomplishment, but today his heart just wasn’t in it. In fact, for a while now, six months at least, work didn’t hold the same appeal as it had in the past. And that fact hadn’t escaped his team.
At first he’d written it off as a temporary slump, but when he didn’t go back to feeling like his old self, he began to suspect it was something deeper. Clearly something was missing. There was a void in his life, in his very soul that work would no longer fill. It was when he knew it was time to have a child.
“So, what do you think?” he heard Nathan ask, and realized he had completely zoned out.
“Good,” he said, hoping he could fake his way through.
Nathan smiled wryly. “You haven’t heard a damn thing I’ve said, have you?”
He could lie, but what was the point? “Sorry. I’m off my game today.”
“Rough night?” Nathan’s brother, Jordan, their Chief Operations Officer, asked, his tone suggestive. He’d been asserting for months that Adam’s major problem was he needed to get laid. And while Adam wouldn’t deny he’d been … tense lately, random sex with a woman he barely knew was Jordan’s thing, not his. In fact, common knowledge of Jordan’s sexual prowess was what had endeared him to the roughnecks on the rig. Despite his Ivy League education, they related to him somehow. Looked up to him even. He managed to fit in, yet still hold his own in the boardroom without batting an eye. He was like a chameleon, changing color to suit his environment.
Adam envied him that sometimes.
“Only because I didn’t sleep well,” he told Jordan. “Maybe we can reschedule for tomorrow.”
Jordan shrugged. “Fine by me.”
“I have a meeting with Cassandra anyway,” Nathan told him, rising from his chair. “Should we say 10:00 a.m.?”
Everyone agreed, then gathered their things and left. Emilio, who had been quiet through most of the meeting, hung back.
“Everything all right?” he asked. He obviously didn’t buy that a simple lack of sleep could leave Adam so distracted.
“Katy and I have an appointment today. In fact, I have to leave soon or I’m going to be late.”
“The fertility doctor?” he asked.
Adam nodded. “She’s having the embryos transferred today.”
“I didn’t realize it would be so soon. Congratulations.”
“That doesn’t mean it will work, but Katy is young and healthy and the doctor seems hopeful.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. I guess I don’t have to ask if you’re nervous.”
It took a lot to set him on edge, but today the pressure was getting to him. “It shows, huh?”
“Hey, who wouldn’t be? This is a big step you’re taking.”
Adam looked at his watch. “And I have to meet Katy.”
Emilio turned to leave, but stopped in the doorway. “I meant to ask the other day. This is probably none of my business… .”
“What?”
“Well, since Becca had cancer, and that can be genetic … I just wondered if that would put your child at risk. It runs in my family, too. On my father’s side.”
“I’ve spoken to a geneticist and the fact that cervical cancer doesn’t run in either of our families reduces the risk of predisposing the baby.”
Emilio grinned. “So you’ve done your research. That’s what I figured. Well, good luck.”
When he was gone Adam grabbed what he needed and headed down to the parking garage. Since Reece had gone to get Katy, he took the company limo to the doctor’s office. When he got inside, she was already there in the lobby waiting for him. And this time he had no trouble spotting her. She stood by the elevator bank, her face flush with excitement, dressed in her “girl” clothes again. This time it was a yellow sundress with a fitted bodice and A-line skirt, and instead of boots she’d worn strappy, flat-soled sandals.
Though he would never admit it to anyone, she looked sexy as hell. And if she were anyone but his sister-in-law, or his surrogate, he just might put an end to his three-year dating freeze and ask her out to dinner.
But no matter how attractive he found her, she was who she was, which kept her strictly off-limits. Not that she would agree to go out with him if he did ask. Knowing her, she would refuse on principle alone, just to irritate him.
“Early again, I see,” he said as he approached her.
“You can thank Reece for that. He was worried about traffic.”
He stabbed the button for the second floor. “Did you get settled in at the house?”
“I did, and Celia seems wonderful.”
“She is.”
“She really adores you, you know. You’re lucky to have someone like that in your life.”
She didn’t have to tell him that. After his mother died, and his father took a permanent emotional vacation, Celia was the only “parent” he’d had. She wasn’t just his housekeeper. She was family. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like now if it hadn’t been for her.
“How can you look so calm?” she asked as the doors slid open and they stepped in. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so ner vous in my life.”
“I don’t do nervous.” Katy must have put on perfume, too, because she smelled really nice. Flowery and feminine, but not overpoweringly so. In fact, the scent was so faint, yet so intoxicating, he had the urge to lean in closer and breathe her in. Bury his nose in the silky curls tumbling like silk ribbons across her shoulders.
Silk ribbons? Jesus, he needed to get his head examined.
“How could you not be nervous?” she said, clearly unwilling to let the subject drop.
“Okay, I’m a little nervous. Happy?”
“Well, if you are, you sure don’t look it. I guess you’re just really good at hiding your feelings.”
“That comes as part of the outdoor plumbing package.” The doors slid open and they stepped out, but when he turned to Katy she had a funny look on her face. “What?”
“Did you just make a joke?”
“I guess so. Is that a problem?”
“The ability to joke suggests you have a sense of humor. Adam, I had no idea.”
He tried to looked indignant, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward.
She gasped. “Oh, my gosh! You just smiled! Do you know that since I met you at Western Oil that day I haven’t seen you smile a single time? I didn’t even realize you still knew how.”
In spite of himself, he smiled wider. “All right, you’ve made your point.”
She gave him a playful poke. “Better be careful, or God forbid, people might start to think you have feelings.”
What she didn’t realize was that he felt very deeply. Too much for his own good, in fact. And look where it had gotten him.
Which is why he expended so much effort to feel as little as possible now. Or at the very least, not let it show.
They walked down the hall to the fertility suite and were immediately shown into the doctor’s private office for a quick consultation, in case they had any last-minute questions—a courtesy Adam was sure he reserved for only his special patients. In other words, the ones with the thickest wallets. Dr. Meyer had a fund for lower-income couples with medical conditions preventing them from conceiving, and understanding their pain, not to mention the perks it would include, Adam had donated generously.
After a brief chat, they were taken to the room where Katy would change into her gown.
“I guess this is it,” Adam said. “I’ll see you afterward.”
“Afterward?” she asked, looking confused. “You’re not going to come in for the procedure. I thought you would want to be there.”
“I do. I just … I thought it would make you uncomfortable.”
“Call me old-fashioned, but I believe a father should at least be in the room when his child is conceived. Even if he’s not actually … you know … doing the work.”
Leave it to Katy to be absolutely blunt. “If you’re comfortable with it, then sure, count me in.”
“The doctor knows the situation. I’m sure he can be discreet. And if not …” she shrugged. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked. And you’ll be seeing it all again when the baby is born. Right?”
He had hoped she would allow him to be in the delivery room, but he figured he would wait until later in the pregnancy to ask. Now he didn’t have to worry.
He didn’t doubt that if he’d hired a surrogate, a stranger, she might not be as open to him being so involved in the entire process. And he appreciated it. More than Katy would ever know.
“Well, I better go change,” she said. “Don’t want to keep the embryos waiting.”
“Thank you, Katy.”
She smiled, then she did something totally unexpected. She rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Her lips were soft and warm and just the slightest bit damp. And though it didn’t last long, just a second or two, something happened. Something passed between them, although he couldn’t say for sure what it was. If it was physical or emotional. But whatever it was, he felt it straight through to his bones. And clearly, so did she.
She stepped back, looking puzzled, lifting a hand up to touch her lips. And something must have been wrong with him because his first instinct was to take her in his arms and draw her against him, bury his face against her hair and just … hold her. He wondered what she would do if he tried.
But he didn’t, and after a few seconds the moment, whatever it was, seemed to pass.
“I guess I better go,” she said, glancing back to the nurse who was waiting for her, looking apprehensive, as if the gravity of what she was about to do had suddenly taken hold. “You’ll be there?”
Maybe she just didn’t want to feel as though she was in this alone. “I’ll be there,” he assured her, and realized that his heart was beating faster. Maybe he was more nervous than he’d thought. Or could it have been something else?
She started to turn, and before he realized what he was doing, he reached out and grabbed her arm. Startled, she turned back to him, looking at his hand as though she was surprised he would touch her. And honestly, he was a bit surprised himself.
“You’re sure you want to do this,” he said. “It’s not too late to back out.”
The apprehension seemed to dissolve before his eyes and she smiled. A really sweet, pretty smile that he was sure he would remember for the rest of his life.
“I’m sure,” she said, placing her hand over his. “I want to do this.”
He let his hand slip out from under hers and fall to his side.
“You can sit in the procedure waiting room,” the nurse said, pointing it out to him. “They’ll call you in when she’s ready.”
The waiting room was blessedly empty, but after twenty minutes passed he began to worry they had forgotten about him. He was about to get up and ask someone what was taking so long when another nurse appeared in the doorway. She led him to an exam room where Katy was already in position with her feet in the stirrups, ready to go. And other than a bit of bare leg, she was very discreetly covered.
She looked relieved to see him.
“Is everyone ready?” the doctor asked, looking from Katy to Adam.
Adam nodded. Katy took a deep breath, exhaled and said, “Let’s do it.”
She reached for his hand and he took it, holding firmly as the doctor did the transfer. The procedure itself seemed pretty simple, and if Katy’s occasional winces were any indication, involved only minor discomfort. Within ten minutes it was over.
“That’s it,” Dr. Meyer said, peeling off his gloves. “Now comes the hard part. The waiting.”
Per his orders Katy had to lie there for two hours before she would be allowed home, so after the staff cleared the room Adam pulled a chair up beside her and sat down.
“I think it worked,” she said, looking contentedly serene. “I can almost feel the cells beginning to divide.”
“Is that even possible?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Probably not, but I have a good feeling about this.”
He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he had a good feeling about it, too. Something about the day, the entire experience felt … special. Like it was meant to be. Which was strange, since he’d never been superstitious.
She looked over at him and smiled. “If someone had told me a month ago that I would be here today, having fertilized embryos injected into me, I would have told them they were insane.”
Boy, could he relate. He always knew that someday he would use the embryos, but not with Katy as the surrogate. “If it’s unsuccessful, are you still willing to try again?”
“Of course! I’m in this for the long haul.” She yawned deeply, her eyes overflowing with tears. “Well, goodness, all of the sudden I feel exhausted.”
She must have slept as fitfully as he had last night. Plus she’d had that long drive this morning. “Why don’t you close your eyes and rest.”
“Maybe just for a minute,” she said, her eyes slipping closed. Within minutes her breathing became slow and deep and her lips parted slightly. He sat there looking at her and had the strangest urge to touch her face. To run his finger across her full bottom lip …
He shook away the thought. He hoped this was a one-shot deal. He hoped the test came up positive, not only because he wanted a child, but because he wanted to get the emotionally taxing part of the process out of the way. This entire experience was doing strange things to his head.
He sat there for a while, checking messages and reading email on his phone. Then he played a few games of Tetris.
