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She realized her jaw had fallen and closed her mouth so forcefully her teeth snapped together. Adam was watching her, waiting for her to say something.
Finally she managed, “I…I’m not sure what to say.”
“So we’re clear, I’m not asking for your permission. Or your approval. Out of courtesy—since it’s Rebecca’s child, too—I felt I should tell you what I plan to do.”
He wasn’t the kind of man to do things as a “courtesy.” He did nothing unless it benefited him. She was guessing that he’d consulted a lawyer, and his lawyer had advised him to contact Becca’s family.
“I also thought you could give me some advice on the best way to break the news to your parents,” Adam added, and Katy was too dumbfounded to speak. As if losing their daughter wasn’t heartbreaking enough, now they would have to live with the knowledge that they had a grandchild out there with a father who was too busy to even give them the time of day? How could he even think about doing this to them? And then to ask her help? Was he really so arrogant? So self-absorbed?
“My advice to you would be don’t do it,” she told him.
He looked confused. “Don’t tell them?”
“Don’t use the embryos.” She was so angry, her voice was actually shaking. “Haven’t my parents been through enough? I can’t believe you could be selfish enough to even consider putting them through this.”
“I would be giving them a grandchild. A part of their daughter would live on. I’d think that would please them.”
“A grandchild they would never see? You really think that’s going to make them happy?”
“Why would you assume they wouldn’t see the baby?”
Was he kidding? “I can count on one hand how many times you and Becca came to visit the last three years of your marriage. My parents were always making the effort, and in most instances you were too busy to make the time for them.” She became aware, by the curious stares they were getting, that the volume of her voice had risen to a near-hysterical level. She took a deep breath, forced herself to lower it. “Why not get remarried and have a baby with your new wife? You’re a rich, handsome guy. I’m sure women would line up to marry you. Or you could adopt. Just leave my family out of this.”
Adam’s voice remained calm and even. “As I said, I’m not asking your permission. This meeting was simply a courtesy.”
“Bull,” she hissed under her breath.
Adam’s brow rose. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not some simple, stupid country girl, Adam. So please, don’t insult my intelligence by treating me like an uneducated hick. I’m here because your lawyer probably warned you that my parents could fight this, and you want to avoid any legal entanglements.”
His expression darkened, and she knew she’d hit a nerve. “Your family has no legal rights over the embryos.”
“Maybe not, but if we decided to fight you, it could drag on for years, couldn’t it?”
His brow dipped low over his eyes, and he leaned forward slightly. “You don’t have the financial means to take me on in court.”
Not one to be intimidated, she met his challenge and leaned toward him. “I don’t doubt there’s some bleeding-heart attorney out there who would just love to take on a case like this pro bono.”
He didn’t even flinch. Did he know she was bluffing? Not only did she know of no attorney like that, she didn’t think her parents would ever try to fight Adam. They would be miserably unhappy, but like Becca’s defection from the family fold, they would accept it. And learn to live with it. They didn’t like to make waves, to cause problems, which is why they allowed Becca to drift so far from the family in the first place. Had it been up to Katy, things would have been different.
Adam’s expression softened and he said in a calm and rational voice, “I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves.”
“What do you even know about being a parent?” she snapped. “When would you find the time? Have you even considered what you’re getting yourself into? Diaper changes and midnight feedings. Or will you hire someone to raise the baby for you? Leave all the dirty work to them?”
“You don’t know anything about me,” he said.
“Sad, considering you were married to my sister for seven years.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here.”
Actually, what she had done was reverse the balance of power so that now she had the upper hand. It was the only way to deal with men like him. A trick Becca had obviously never learned.
“Trust me when I say, I have given this considerable thought, and I feel it’s something I need to do. And I assure you that both you and your parents will see the baby. My parents are both dead, so you’ll be the only other family the child has. I would never deny him that.”
“And I’m just supposed to believe you?”
“At this point, you really don’t have much choice. Because we both know that the chances of finding a lawyer who will represent you for free are slim to none. I’ve been in business a long time. I recognize a bluff when I see it.”
She bit her lip. So much for having the upper hand.
“I’m not doing this to hurt anyone, Katy. I just want a child.”
But why did it have to be Becca’s child? “We may not be as rich as you, but we can still fight it.”
“And you would lose.”
Yes, she would. But she could put up one hell of a fight. And put her parents through hell in the process. Not to mention decimate them all financially.
The sad fact was she had no choice but to accept this. She was going to have to take him on his word that they would see the baby. What other recourse did she have?
“Can I ask who the surrogate will be?”
He was gracious enough not to gloat at her obvious surrender. “I’m not sure yet. My attorney is looking at possible candidates.”
She frowned. “How will you know they’re trustworthy?”
“They’ll go through a rigorous interview process and background check. If they’ve ever been arrested, or used illegal substances, we’ll know about it.”
But there was no way to know everything. Katy watched the national news and knew situations like this had a way of going horribly awry. What if the woman smoked, or did drugs while she was pregnant? Or took some other physical risk that might harm the baby? Or what if she decided she didn’t want to give the baby up? Would it matter that it was Rebecca’s egg?
Or even worse, she could just disappear with Rebecca’s child, never to be seen again. For Katy’s parents—and probably Adam, too—it would be like losing Rebecca all over again.
“What if you think the woman is trustworthy, but you’re wrong?” she asked him, growing more uneasy by the second.
“We won’t be,” Adam assured her, but that wasn’t good enough.
She took a swallow of her coffee, burning her tongue. If she let him do this, she could look forward to nine months of being on edge, worrying about her niece or nephew’s safety.
There was only one person she trusted enough to carry her sister’s baby. It was completely crazy, but she knew it was the only way. The only good way. And she would do whatever necessary to convince him.
“I know the perfect person to be the surrogate,” she told Adam.
“Who?”
“Me.”
Two
Adam had imagined several possible scenarios of what Katy’s reaction would be when he told her his plans. He thought she might be excited. Grateful even that a part of Rebecca would live on in the baby. He had also considered her being upset, or even indignant, which proved to be much closer to the truth.
But not a single one of those scenarios included her offering to carry the baby herself. And as far as he was concerned, that wasn’t an option.
Admittedly he had approached Katy first because he figured she would be easily manipulated, but sweet little Katy had an edge now. She was a lot tougher than she used to be. And she was right about his lawyer’s advice. If there were a legal battle over the issue of the embryos, he would win. But it could drag on for years. He didn’t want to wait that long. He was ready now. And though allowing her to be the surrogate would significantly ease any opposition from her family, he could see an entire new series of problems arise as a result.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” he told her.
“You didn’t ask. I offered.”
“I’m not sure if you fully understand the sacrifice it will be. Physically and emotionally.”
“I have friends who have gone through pregnancies, so I know exactly what to expect.”
“I imagine that knowing a pregnant person and being one are two very different things.”
“I want to do it, Adam.”
He could see that, but the idea had trouble written all over it. In every language.
He tried a different angle. “How will your… ‘significant other’ feel about this?”
“That won’t be an issue. I see Willy Jenkins occasionally, but he isn’t what I would call significant. We’re more like…friends with benefits, if you know what I mean.”
He did, and for some ridiculous reason he wanted to string this Jenkins guy up by his toes. To him she would always be Rebecca’s baby sister. Little Katy.
But Katy was a grown woman. Twenty-seven or-eight, if memory served. It was none of his business who she was friends with.
Or why.
“The process could take a year,” he told her. “Longer if it takes more than one try. What if you meet someone?”
“Who the heck am I going to meet? Peckins has a population of eight hundred. Most of the men in town I’ve known since kindergarten. If I was going to fall madly in love with one of them, I’d have done it by now.”
He tried a different angle. “Have you thought of the physical toll it could take on your body?”
“Look who you’re talking to,” she said, gesturing to her casual clothing, the ash-blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. “I’m not like Rebecca. I don’t obsess about my weight, or worry about things like stretch marks. And you won’t find anyone more responsible. I don’t smoke or take drugs, not even over-the-counter pain relievers. I have an occasional beer, but beyond that I don’t drink, so giving it up isn’t a problem. Not to mention that I’m healthy as a horse. And my doctor never fails to point out at my annual physical that I have a body built for childbearing.”
She certainly did. She had the figure of a fifties pinup model. A time when women looked like women, not prepubescent boys. In his opinion Rebecca had always been too obsessed with her weight and her looks, as though she thought he would love her less if she didn’t look perfect 100 percent of the time. Even during chemo she never failed to drag herself out of bed to put on makeup. And when she could no longer get out of bed, she had the nurse do it for her.
The familiar stab of pain he felt when he thought of her that way pierced the shell around his heart from the inside out.
Katy surprised him by reaching across the table and taking his hand. What surprised him even more was the tingling sensation that started in his fingers and worked its way up his arm. Her hands were a little rough from working on the ranch, but her skin was warm. Her nails were bare, but clean and neatly trimmed. Everything about her was very…natural.
Which was more than he could say for this situation, and the odd, longing sensation deep in his gut.
“Adam, you know as well as I do that despite all the background checks you can do, there’s no one you could trust as much as me.”
He hated to admit it—she was right. Despite their very complicated past and feelings of resentment over Becca, Katy would never do anything to put her sister’s child in harm’s way. But she could use the opportunity to try to manipulate him, and he never put himself in a position to lose the upper hand. Not professionally, and especially not personally.
Not anymore.
But this was the welfare of his child they were discussing. Wasn’t it his obligation as a father to put his child first, to make its health and well-being his number-one priority?
Katy squeezed his hand so tight he started to lose sensation in his fingers, and they were beginning to get curious glances from his employees.
He gently extracted his hand from hers. “Look, Katy—”
“Please, Adam. Please let me do this.” She paused, her eyes pleading, then said, “You know it’s what Becca would have wanted.”
Ouch. That was a low blow, and she knew how to hit where it really stung. The worst part was that she was right. Didn’t he owe it to Becca to let Katy do this for them? For the baby? Wasn’t he partially to blame for Becca losing touch with her family in the first place?
“Though it’s against my better judgment, and I would like to run it past my attorney before I give you a definitive answer…I’m inclined to say yes.”
Her expression was a combination of relief and gratitude. “Thank you, Adam. I promise, you won’t regret this.”
Impossible, since he regretted it already.
* * *
Katy left soon after, and Adam headed back up to his office, feeling conflicted.
On one hand he could see the benefits of choosing Katy as a surrogate. In theory, it was an ideal arrangement. But he knew from experience that things did not always go as planned, and what may seem “ideal” one day could swiftly become a disaster the next.
Before he made any decisions, he would speak with his attorney.
His assistant, Bren, stopped him as he walked past her desk to his office. “Senator Lyons called while you were gone. He said he’ll be out of the office the rest of the day but he’ll call you back tomorrow.”
“Did he say what he wanted?”
“My guess would be a campaign contribution. Isn’t he up for reelection?”
“You’re probably right.”
“Also, Mr. Suarez needs to see you when you have a minute.”
“Call down to his office and tell him now would be good,” he told her. It was doubtful he would be able to concentrate on work anyway. Too much on his mind.
He stepped into his office, stopped at the wet bar to pour himself a scotch, then sat behind his desk and booted his computer.
“Hey, boss.”
He looked up to find Emilio Suarez, Western Oil CFO, standing in his open doorway.
Western Oil was in dire financial straits when Adam inherited it from his father, and Emilio’s financial genius had brought it back from the brink of ruin. Though he was from a Puerto Rican family of modest means, through grants and scholarships Emilio had graduated college at the top of his class, which was what had caught Adam’s attention when he was looking for a management team. Emilio had become an irreplaceable employee—not to mention a good friend—and worth every penny of his ridiculously exorbitant salary.
Adam gestured him inside. “You wanted to talk to me?”
He came in, shutting the door behind him, and stopped to pour himself a drink. “I got an interesting call from my brother today.”
