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And oh how she had wanted it to go further. But to what end? A brief, torrid affair? Yeah, so what if it was? What was so wrong with that? They were consenting adults.
Yeah, but what about William?
So what if William wasn’t an above-average kisser, and who cared that he didn’t get her all hot and bothered the way Aaron did. William was stable and secure, and he respected her, and she was sure that he thought she was beautiful, too. He just wasn’t the type of man to express his feelings. She was sure that once they were married he would open up.
But what if he didn’t? Was that enough for her?
She heard a muffled jingle coming from her backpack and realized her phone was ringing. She pulled it out and saw that it was, speak of the devil, William. She hadn’t spoken to him since she left the States. No doubt he was anxious for an answer.
She let it go to voice mail. She would call him back tomorrow once she’d had a night to think things through. When she’d had time to forget how Aaron’s lips felt against hers, and the taste of his mouth, and what it had been like to have his arms around her, his fingers tangling in her hair.
What if she never forgot? Could she go through life always wondering what if? Would it really be so awful, for once in her life, to do something just because she wanted to. Because it felt good. It wasn’t as if he would want a relationship, and frankly, neither would she. Just one quick roll in the hay. Or maybe two. Then she could go home to William, who would never be the wiser…and live the rest of her life in guilt for betraying him.
Ugh.
But if they weren’t technically engaged yet, could it really be counted as cheating?
As she was changing into her pajamas, her cell phone rang again. It was William. She considered letting it go to voice mail again, then decided she at least owed him a few words.
When she answered, his voice was filled with relief.
“I thought maybe you were avoiding me.” He sounded so apprehensive and vulnerable. So unlike the confident, steadfast man she was used to, and the truth was, hearing him that way was just the slightest bit…off-putting. It knocked the pedestal she’d always kept him up on down a notch or two.
“Of course not,” she said. “I’ve just been very busy.”
“Is this a bad time? I could call back later.”
“No, this is fine. I was just getting ready for bed. How have you been?”
“Swamped.” He gave her a rundown on everything that had been going on in the lab since she left.
When he’d finished his dissertation, she asked him again. “How are you, William?”
“Me?” He sounded confused, probably because they never really talked about their personal lives.
“Yes, you.”
Finally he said, “Good. I’m good.”
She waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. Instead he asked, “How are you?”
Exhausted, but excited, and having more fun than I’ve ever had in my life, not to mention nursing a pretty serious crush, and considering an affair with, of all people, a prince.
But she couldn’t tell him that. “I’m…good.”
“The reason for my call,” he said, getting right to the point—because William always had a point. “I was just wondering if you’d given any thought to my proposal.”
He said it so drily, as though he were referring to a work proposal and not a lifetime commitment.
“I have,” she said. “It’s just…well, I’ve been so busy. I’d like a little more time to think it over. It’s a huge decision.”
“Of course. I don’t mean to rush you. I realize that it probably came as something of a surprise.”
“A little, yes. I never realized you had those kinds of feelings for me.”
“You know that I deeply respect you. Both personally and professionally. We make a good team.”
Yes, but a good professional relationship and a good marriage were two entirely different animals. Again she had to wonder, did she want to marry a man who respected her, or one who loved her? A man whom she worked well with, or one who found her so sexually appealing he couldn’t keep his eyes, or hands, off her? One who made her feel all warm and breathless and squishy inside, the way Aaron did.
Don’t even go there, she warned herself. Aaron had no place in this particular equation. Besides, for all she knew William would be fantastic in bed. She’d always considered good sex more of a perk than a necessity.
If that was true, why wasn’t she jumping at his offer?
“Can I ask you a question, William?”
“Of course.”
“Why now? What’s changed from, say, two months ago?”
“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. I’ve always imagined that one day I would get married and have a family. And as you know, I’m not getting any younger. It seemed like a good time.”
It sounded so logical, but that hadn’t exactly been what she was hoping for.
“I guess what I want to know is, why me?”
“Why you?” he said, sounding puzzled. “Why not you?”
“What I mean is, was there a particular reason you asked me?”
“Who else would I ask?”
She was seriously fishing here, and he just didn’t seem to get it. She wasn’t desperate enough to beg for a kind word or two. Like, You’re beautiful or I love you. That would come with time.
Then why, deep down, was a little voice telling her that this was all wrong?
“Things are just so crazy right now,” she told him. “Can you give me a few weeks to think about it?”
“Of course,” he said, his tone so patient and reasonable that it filled her with shame. “Take your time.”
They made random and slightly awkward small talk for several minutes, and William seemed almost relieved when she said she had to go.
She hung up wondering what kind of marriage would they have if the only thing they ever talked about was work? And even worse, he didn’t seem all that interested in getting to know her on a personal level. Would that just take time? Or should the years she had already known him have been time enough?
She thought of Aaron, who asked her questions and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know her. Why couldn’t William be more like that?
Thoughts like that wouldn’t get her anywhere. William would never be like Aaron—a rich, charming prince. Which was a good thing, because as she’d reminded herself so many times now, Aaron, and men like him, were out of her league. Granted, she had never actually had a relationship with a man like Aaron, but she wasn’t so naive that she didn’t know the way these things worked. Even if Aaron did find her interesting at first, see her as a novelty, it wouldn’t take him long to grow bored with her, for him to realize that she wasn’t as special as he thought. Then he would be back to pursuing a proper mate. A woman with the right family and the proper breeding. Yet she couldn’t help but think of all the fun they could have in the meantime.
Chapter Eight
Liv was on her way to breakfast the following morning when she was greeted—more like accosted—by one of Aaron’s sisters at the foot of the stairs on the main floor. Was it Friday already?
She was nowhere near as tall as her brother and had a slim, frail-looking build, and while they didn’t exactly look alike, there was a strong family resemblance. She was dressed in a pale pink argyle sweater and cream-colored slacks and wore her hair pulled back in a low bun. In the crook of one arm she cradled a quivering ball of fur with bulging eyes. A dog, Liv realized. Probably a shih tzu.
The first impression that popped into Liv’s head was sweet and demure. Until the princess opened her mouth.
She squealed excitedly when she saw Liv and said, “You must be Olivia! I’m Aaron’s sister Louisa.”
Liv was so stunned by her enthusiasm—weren’t princesses supposed to be poised and reserved?—she nearly neglected protocol and offered a hand to shake.
“It’s nice to meet you, Your Highness,” she said, dipping into a slightly wobbly curtsy instead. She had barely recovered when Louisa grabbed her hand and pumped it enthusiastically.
“Call me Louisa.” She scratched the canine behind its silky ears. “And this is Muffin. Say hello, Muffin.”
Muffin just stared, his little pink tongue lolling out of his mouth.
“I can’t tell you how excited we are to have you here,” she said, smiling brightly. “Aaron has told us wonderful things about you.”
Liv couldn’t help but wonder exactly what he’d told them. She would be mortified if he’d said something about their kiss last night. Having had the entire night to think it over, she decided that it would definitely never happen again. At least, not until she’d decided what to do about William. Although, probably not then, either. What she needed to concentrate on was the job she had come here to do.
“Has my brother been a good host?” Louisa asked.
Good didn’t even begin to describe the sort of host he’d been. “He has,” Liv assured her. “He’s made me feel very welcome.”
“I’m so glad. I can’t wait for you to meet the rest of the family! Everyone is so excited that you’re here.”
“I’m anxious to meet them, too.”
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