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“Are you sure? You can talk to me.”
“I know. I just …” She shrugged.
Whatever it was, she wasn’t ready to discuss it.
“Well, you know where I am if you need me,” he said, even though as long as he’d known her, Terri never truly needed anyone. She wrote the handbook on self-sufficiency.
He leaned over to kiss her cheek, the way he always did, but she flung open the car door and jumped out before he had the chance. As he watched her dart into the building without looking back, he couldn’t help thinking that in her attempt to keep things between them from changing, they already had.
Three
Though she had hoped getting a good night’s sleep would make things clearer, Terri tossed and turned all night, then woke the next morning feeling just as confused as she had been when Nick had dropped her at home.
She didn’t want their relationship to change. But what she realized last night while he drove her home was that it already had changed, and it was too late to go back. They had opened a door, and there would be no closing it again until they both stepped through. Unfortunately, she had no idea what was waiting on the other side.
After a long and unproductive workday spent wondering what to do next, how they could pull this off without killing their friendship—if they hadn’t already—she realized that she’d made her decision last night in his office. She’d just been too afraid to admit it. Not only to him, but to herself. Which was what led her to his apartment this evening. He hadn’t tried to contact her all day, by phone or even email, meaning that he was smart enough to realize she needed time to work this through on her own. He was always there when she needed him, but he also knew when she needed space. She realized it said an awful lot about their relationship.
He opened the door dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, with a chef’s apron tied around his waist and smudged with what looked like chocolate batter. The scent of something sweet and delicious reached out into the hallway to greet her.
“Hey,” he said, looking not at all surprised to see her.
“Can we talk?”
“Of course.” He stepped aside to let her in, and she gazed around the high-rise apartment that would be home for the next nine months or so. It was painted in rich, masculine hues, yet it still managed to feel warm and homey, in large part due to the casual-comfy furnishings and the dozens of framed family photos throughout the space.
Nick may have had an aversion to marriage, but when it came to his family, he couldn’t be more devoted. She was also happy to see that most of the clutter that had been there last week was gone.
“Come on into the kitchen,” he said. “I’m trying a new cake recipe.”
A culinary genius, he spent much of his free time cooking and baking. He’d often said that if it wasn’t for Caroselli Chocolate, he would have opened his own restaurant, but he would never leave the family business.
On her way through the living room, Terri dropped her purse and coat on the sofa, then followed Nick into his state-of-the-art kitchen, half of which she wouldn’t have the first clue how to use. Nor did she have the desire to learn.
“Whatever it is, it smells delicious,” she told Nick as she took a seat on one of the three bar stools at the island.
“Triple chocolate fudge,” he said. “Jess wants me to make something special for Angie’s birthday party next Saturday.”
“She’ll be eleven, right?”
“Twelve.”
“Really? Wow. I remember when she was born, how excited you were to be an uncle. It doesn’t seem like twelve years ago.”
“It goes by fast,” he said, checking the contents of one of the three top-of-the-line wall ovens. Then he untied the apron and draped it over the oven door handle—where it would probably remain until someone else put it in the broom closet where it belonged. He leaned against the edge of the granite countertop, folded his arms and asked, “So, enough of the small talk. What’s up?”
That was Nick, always getting right to the point. “First, I want to apologize for the way I acted last night. You just … surprised me.”
“It’s okay. You were a little overwhelmed. I get it.”
“But I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. In fact, it’s about the only thing I can think about, and I just have one more question.”
“Shoot.”
“If we do this, if we make the baby the old-fashioned way, can you promise me that afterward things will go back to the way they were? That nothing will change?”
“No. I can’t promise that.”
She sighed. Did he have to be so damned honest? Couldn’t he just humor her into thinking she was making the right choice? But that wasn’t Nick. He was a straight shooter, and the only time he sugarcoated was in the kitchen.
“The best I can do is promise you that I’ll always be there for you,” he said. “We’ll always be friends. Whether we use a doctor or do this conventionally, we’re going to have a child together. That alone is bound to change things.”
He was right, of course. She’d been so focused on the idea of how sleeping together would affect their relationship, that she hadn’t truly grasped the enormity of having a child together. She’d wanted a baby so badly, she hadn’t let herself fully consider the consequences. She realized now that everything would change. The question was, would it be a good change?
“I guess I didn’t think this through completely,” she told Nick. “Big surprise, right?”
“And now that you have?”
It scared her half to death. She’d been friends with Nick longer than anyone. Longer than she knew her own father. “I’m still hopelessly confused.”
“Then we aren’t going to do it. You can stick to your original plan and use a donor.”
“And what will you do?” The idea of him entering a fake marriage with someone else, having a baby with her, left a knot in her belly.
“I won’t do anything,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll admit, I was sort of excited about the idea of having a baby, but only because I would be having it with you.”
“But, what about the money?”
“Terri, our friendship means more to me than any sum of money.”
She was too stunned to speak.
Nick laughed. “Why do you look so surprised?”
“It’s just … I think that’s probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“I didn’t say it to be nice. I said it because it’s the truth.”
And she felt ashamed that she hadn’t trusted him, that she never realized just how much her friendship meant to him. “Let’s do it,” she said. “Let’s have a baby.”
Now he was the one who looked surprised. “Maybe you should take a little more time to consider this.”
“I don’t need more time.”
“Are you sure?”
She couldn’t recall ever feeling more sure about anything in her entire life. She didn’t know why exactly. She just knew. “I want to do this.”
“The wedding, the baby, moving in with me. Everything?”
“Everything.”
“I guess the only question now is, how soon can we get started?” he asked.
“Well, I’m due to ovulate in two weeks, give or take a day or two. I’d rather not wait another month. The sooner I get pregnant, the better.”
“The question is, can we plan a wedding in fourteen days?”
“I guess it depends on the kind of wedding you want.”
“I would be happy to do this in front of a judge with a couple witnesses.”
“That works for me,” she said. Terri hadn’t spent her adolescence dreaming of and planning her wedding. And why drop a lot of money on a marriage that was guaranteed to end in divorce?
“There’s only one problem with that,” he said.
She knew exactly what he was going to say. “Your family would have a fit.” If there was one thing that the Carosellis loved, it was a party. They would never pass up the opportunity to gather together, overeat and drink too much.
“Exactly,” he said.
“So, how big are you thinking?”
“Immediate family only, maybe a few people from work.”
“Two weeks would be the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I can guarantee most places will be booked.”
Nick considered that for a moment, then his face lit up. “Hey, how about Nonno’s house? It would definitely be big enough. We could have the ceremony in the great room, in front of the fireplace.”
“He wouldn’t mind?”
“Are you kidding? He would be thrilled. The whole point of this is to get the three of us married off and making babies as soon as possible.”
It seemed like a logical choice to her, too. “Call him and make sure it’s okay. On such short notice, I’m thinking we should keep it as simple as possible. Drinks and appetizers will be the best way to go.”
“My cousin Joe on my mom’s side can get us a good deal on the liquor. Make a list of what you think we’ll need, then remember that it’s my family and whatever you plan to order, double it. And we should call the caterer we use for business events. The food is great, and their prices are reasonable.”
“Email me the number and I’ll call them.” There was so much to do, and so little time. But she was sure they could pull it off. She knew that as soon as his mom and his sisters heard the news, they would be gunning to help.
“You understand that my family has to believe this marriage is real, that we have to look like two people madly in love?”
“I know.”
“That means we’ll have to appear comfortable kissing and touching each other.”
The thought of kissing and touching Nick, especially in front of his family, made her heart skip a beat.
“Can you do that?” he asked.
Did she have a choice? “I can do it.”
“Are you sure? Last night when I touched you, you jumped a mile.”
“I was just nervous. And confused.”
“And you aren’t now?”
“I’m trying to look at it logically. Like we’re just two people … conducting a science experiment.”
Nick laughed. “That sounds fun. And correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you almost blow up the science lab in middle school?”
Which had taught her the invaluable lesson that when a teacher said chemicals aren’t to be mixed, she actually meant it. That, plus a week of suspension, and a month of summer school to make up the failing grade she’d more than earned in the class, drove the message home.
But what Nick seemed to be forgetting was she’d only done it because he’d dared her.
“I didn’t think it was supposed to be fun,” she said.
He frowned. “You don’t think sex should be fun?”
“Not all sex. I guess I just thought, because we’re friends, we would just sort of … go through the motions.”
“There’s no reason why we can’t enjoy it,” Nick said.
“What if we’re not compatible?”
“As far as I’m aware, we both have the right parts,” he said with a grin. “Unless there’s something you haven’t told me.”
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t mean biologically compatible. What if we get started and we don’t get, you know … turned-on?”
“Are you saying you find me unattractive?”
“No, but in twenty years, I’ve never looked at you and had the uncontrollable urge to jump your bones. I just don’t think of you that way.”
“Come here,” he said, summoning her around the island with a crooked finger.
“Why?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Now?”
“Why not now? Before we go through the trouble of getting married, shouldn’t we know for sure? Besides, what if we wait until our wedding day, and it all goes horribly wrong? Suppose we bump noses, or we both tilt our head the same way. And what about our honeymoon? Are we just going to hop into bed without ever having touched each other? Doesn’t it make more sense for us to ease into it gradually?”
He definitely had a point. The problem here was that she was trying to play by a set of rules that didn’t exist. They were making it up as they went along. “I guess that does make sense.”
“So, what are you waiting for?” He tapped his lips with his index finger. “Lay one on me.”
