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He studied her intently, and she kept her features carefully schooled so as not to display any of the turmoil that twirled around in her stomach. “I should have called you,” he finally said.
Her stomach clenched. “Yes, you should have,” she agreed. “But, you didn’t, and time went by and life went on. It’s all water under the bridge. Now, is there anything else I can get for you?”
“Not at the moment,” he replied after a long hesitation.
She turned and left the booth, but she was aware of his gaze lingering on her, heating the center of her back. She escaped back to the safety of the kitchen and once again pasted a smile on her lips.
Instead of keeping Nick Benson in her mind, she thought of Grant Hubert, the man she’d been dating for the past two months.
Grant was everything Nick hadn’t been...dependable and mature. He was thirty-five, the vice president of the local bank, and he’d been the first man she’d allowed into her life in any way since Nick.
Grant didn’t stir in her the same crazy emotions that Nick had once evoked. Instead he felt solid and predictable, and that was exactly what she needed in her life at this moment.
She knew what had brought Nick back to town, but the Bensons weren’t the only ones who had gone through trauma in the past couple of months.
Certainly everyone had been shocked when Sam Benson had tried to kill Courtney’s friend and fellow waitress, Lizzy Wiles, but before that the entire town had been equally shocked when another waitress from the café had been brutally murdered.
That murder had not yet been solved and hadn’t been related to Sam’s attack on Lizzy. At the time, Courtney, Lizzy and Candy, the murdered young woman, had been living in three of the four little cottages just behind the café.
It had been Candy’s murder and the attack on Lizzy that had prompted Sheriff Cameron Evans to arrange for Courtney to move from the cottage to a nearby motel. In the past two months the motel room, with its kitchenette, had finally begun to feel like home.
Thankfully, when she returned to the booth where Nick had sat enough money to pay his tab and a generous tip for her was all that remained.
She rang up his order, pocketed her tip and told herself she absolutely refused to spend another minute of her time thinking about Nick Benson. Besides, there was plenty to do to prepare for the evening dinner rush. That would keep her mind sufficiently occupied.
Since the time she’d moved to Grady Gulch, she’d come to love the people of the small town. Even George Wilton, who complained about the bitterness of the coffee, the dryness of the meat loaf and the laziness of today’s youth, held a certain charm all his own.
The dinner rush that evening seemed busier than usual, and despite her desire not to think about Nick Benson, he seemed to be the topic of conversation on everyone’s lips.
“They’ve all come to bad ends,” Susan Walker said to her husband as Courtney served them the nightly special. “One dead, one a convict, one a drunk, and Nick always was a bit of a hellion.” She shook her head ruefully. “Guess that’s what happens to kids when their parents die too young.”
“All of them spent too much time down at The Corral,” David Bentz said to his wife as Courtney delivered their drinks to their table. “I heard through the grapevine that Nick has come back to somehow save Adam from himself.” David snorted. “That’s kind of like the pot calling the kettle to ask for advice.”
Courtney grimaced, fighting the impulse to say something in defense of all the Bensons. She’d never liked David Bentz much anyway. He always smelled just a little bit like cow manure.
“How are you doing tonight, Courtney?” Abigail Swisher asked as Courtney stopped at her table.
“Good. And where’s that handsome husband of yours?” she asked. It was unusual for Abigail to show up at the café without her husband, Fred.
“He’s on a business trip, and I decided I didn’t feel like cooking tonight. The house was just too darned quiet.” Abigail gave her a sweet smile and swept a strand of her light brown hair behind an ear. Courtney caught a pleasant scent of spring flowers wafting from the woman.
“Good for you,” Courtney replied. She knew the couple didn’t have children. Abigail had suffered a miscarriage, but rumor had it they were trying desperately for another child.
She took Abigail’s order, and by the time the dinner rush was over Courtney was sick of hearing all the negative stories about Nick—and even more sick that in each case she’d wanted to somehow jump to his defense.
It was after eight when Courtney finally sat down to take a break with fellow waitress Lynette Shiver. Lynette was twenty-three and had been working at the café for only about a month.
She’d been hired when Lizzy had quit her job as a waitress to move in with her future husband, Daniel Jefferson. Lizzy seemed perfectly content helping Daniel around the ranch and planning a wedding for the near future.
“Would you please tell me about the Benson family?” Lynette exclaimed. “That’s all I’ve heard about all night, and I didn’t know what anyone was talking about. Sounds like a nice plate of juicy gossip.”
“It’s actually a tragic story on several levels,” Courtney replied with a sigh of resignation. As much as she hadn’t wanted to talk about Nick, she knew there was no way she could avoid the topic while explaining to Lynette what had happened before she’d come to the small town.
“The Benson family consisted of Sam, who was the eldest, Adam, Cherry and Nick. Their parents died years ago, and Sam took the reins of the family ranch and worked hard to keep them all together. Then two years ago Cherry was killed in a car accident.”
Courtney took a sip of her iced tea and tried not to remember that night. She’d been in her bedroom in her parents’ house and had gotten a text from Nick to meet him at the place where they always rendezvoused away from prying eyes.
When she’d finally gotten to the old Yates place, she’d driven past the old house that had been foreclosed on years ago and never resold and drove straight down the lane that took her to the old barn.
Nick’s pickup was already there, and when she entered the horse stall that had been their special place for the past seven months, he’d grabbed her and pulled her to him as he wept.
They’d made love, silently, emotionally, and then he’d left the barn without saying a word. She’d known his grief was too great for words, and she’d let him go that night assuming they’d have time together the next day or the day after that. And then he was gone from Grady Gulch, from her.
“Earth to Courtney.” Lynette’s voice pulled her away from the painful memories.
“Sorry. Anyway, Cherry was killed, along with Daniel Jefferson’s wife, Janice. Rumor had it that Daniel and Janice had a fight and Janice called Cherry to pick her up. The two left the Jefferson place, it was snowing and Cherry was driving way too fast. They crashed, and both women were killed.”
“That’s definitely tragic,” Lynette said as she raised her coffee cup to her lips.
Courtney nodded. “Daniel was real torn up about it, and so was Sam. But what nobody knew was that Sam blamed Daniel for his sister’s death. Daniel was a broken man, but then he met Lizzy, who was working as a waitress here, and the two of them fell in love. Sam went crazy and tried to kill Lizzy because she made Daniel happy, and in Sam’s distraught mind Daniel wasn’t allowed to ever be happy again as long as Cherry was gone.”
“So, Sam was caught and arrested and Adam’s acting like the town drunk, and now it sounds like Nick has ridden to the rescue, coming home to take care of things.”
“Something like that,” Courtney replied, tired of the Benson family drama and still reeling from the fact that Nick was back in town.
Minutes later, Mary walked over to where the two of them sat. “Thursday nights are usually slow. Is one of you up for going home early?”
Lynette waved her hand to Courtney. “Go on. I know you have important places to be and people to see. I’ll close it up tonight.”
Courtney breathed a deep sigh. “Thanks, Lynette. I wouldn’t mind getting off a little early this evening.”
“Then go, get on out of here,” Mary said. “Lynette and I can handle things for the rest of the night.”
Courtney didn’t wait for Mary to change her mind. She quickly got up from her chair and carried her cup to the counter. “I’m out of here,” she said as she headed toward the front door. “I’ll see you at noon tomorrow.”
She caught her breath as she stepped out into the hot July night. As she walked to her car, the heat that had been trapped in the asphalt all day long radiated up to her tired feet. She couldn’t wait to get home to the motel, kick off her shoes and just relax. But she had one more important stop to make.
She always sent up a silent prayer when she got behind the wheel of her car and turned the key. Thankfully her prayer was answered and the engine turned over. She’d bought the car dirt cheap because she had more important things to spend her money on than transportation.
She sat for a minute, allowing the interior of the car to begin to cool from the air conditioner, before heading to Sophie Martinez’s home.
She consciously tried to keep her mind blank as she drove the distance to the attractive little ranch house situated on several acres just outside the city limits. She was tired of thinking of the past and wanted only to focus on the future.
Tomorrow night she had a dinner date with Grant, and she was off work all day Saturday and Sunday. She always looked forward to spending time with Grant and some downtime on the weekends.
At the moment she didn’t feel the anticipation that a date with Grant usually brought, and she hated the fact that a simple interaction with Nick had somehow managed to throw her off.
She shoved every thought in her head away as she pulled down the long lane that led to Sophie’s ranch house. This was the moment each day that she looked forward to most, arriving here after hours of being separated from the most important person in her life.
Her tired feet nearly danced to the front door, where she knocked softly. The door opened and Sophie greeted her with a surprised smile. “Courtney, you’re a bit early tonight.”
“We weren’t too busy so Mary let me go for the night.”
Sophie opened the door to allow her into the neat living room with modest furnishings. Sophie was a young widow with two small children. Thankfully there had been enough insurance money to allow her not only to keep her house and the surrounding land but also stay at home with her two little daughters for the next couple of years.
For extra money she had become a licensed day care provider, and her family room off the kitchen had been turned into a kid’s playland.
From that room a cacophony of sound escaped. It was the happy chaos of children at play... The squeals of little girls, the laughter of little boys and the squawk of the cockatiel that hung in a cage on a large stand near the window.
“Sounds like you have a full house this evening,” Courtney said as they headed toward the family room. Usually by the time Courtney arrived there was only one or two extra children.
“The Morrises asked if I could keep the twins late tonight. It’s their anniversary and they wanted to have a nice romantic evening together without the boys,” Sophie explained.
As they entered the family room, Courtney’s gaze automatically darted around the room for the fifteen-month-old dark-haired, blue-eyed little boy who owned her heart and soul.
Garrett. He was clad in a pair of cowboy-printed pajamas and sat on the floor playing with a stack of colorful wooden blocks. When Courtney drew closer, he looked up and his face was wreathed in smiles.
“Ma-Ma!” He raised his chubby little arms toward her.
As she picked him up, her heart swelled full in her chest. “Hi, baby. Hi, Garrett,” she said as she kissed the side of his face. “Were you a good boy today for Sophie?”
“Sophie,” he echoed and pointed to his daily caretaker.
“He’s always a good boy when he’s here. He’s the most laid-back toddler I’ve ever met. He’s freshly changed and ready for bed.”
Courtney smiled and gave Garrett a hug. “Thanks, Sophie. We’ll get out of your hair, and I’ll see you tomorrow around eleven-thirty.”
Sophie walked with her to the door, and a minute later Courtney had Garrett in his car seat in the back of the car. By the time she arrived at the motel, he was fast asleep.
She gently lifted him from the seat and carried him into the motel room they called home. Next to her bed was the crib, where she gently placed the sleeping boy and covered him with a light blanket. She laid her finger lightly on his little cleft chin, as if wanting to hide the characteristic that marked his paternity.
For several long moments she gazed at the son who had been conceived the night of Cherry Benson’s death. That night, as Nick had come at her with silent, horrible grief and she’d embraced him, needing to somehow ease his pain, neither of them had thought about birth control.
And when Nick had blown out of town, he’d had no idea that he’d left her with a piece of him that would change her life forever.
He hadn’t called. He’d offered no explanation. He’d just disappeared. And now it was too late. He had left her without a word, broken all the promises they’d made to each other. He didn’t deserve to have a son, and she had no intention of ever telling him of Garrett’s existence.
Chapter 2
The Benson ranch had always been a source of great pride. Not only had it been financially successful, but Sam had worked hard to keep the large ranch house, surrounding lawn and outbuildings in pristine condition.
As Nick got his first glimpse of home, his heart dropped to his feet as he realized it was far worse than what he’d expected. Despite the summer heat, the lawn was a jungle of overgrown weeds and brush. A tractor-style mower sat amid the mess, as if at some point the operator had simply given up on any attempt to restore order.
Nick got out of his truck, momentarily overwhelmed by the neglect around him. Obviously Cherry’s death had yielded far-reaching effects that none of them could have ever foreseen.
For just a minute Nick wanted to jump back into his truck and drive as fast as he could back to his uncomplicated life in Texas. Run...avoid...escape painful and difficult things. That’s what he’d done on the day of Cherry’s funeral. But, that was the man he’d been two years ago. That wasn’t the man he was now.
Straightening his shoulders, he headed for the stairs leading up to the front porch, noting that one of the handrails was missing.
He opened the front door and his nose was instantly assailed by the odors of overripe fruit, dirty socks and sour booze.
“Hello?” he called. “Adam...are you here?”
“In the kitchen,” a deep voice returned.
Nick found his older brother seated at the kitchen table, his fingers curled around a coffee mug and his bloodshot blue eyes narrowed to near slits. “So, the prodigal son has finally come home.” There was a touch of censure in Adam’s voice that Nick ignored.
As Nick went to the cabinet to grab a mug, he tried to ignore the mound of dirty dishes in the sink and the garbage bag that overflowed onto the floor. “Is that coffee fresh?”
Adam nodded. “I made it about an hour ago when I finally decided to get out of bed.”
Nick poured his coffee and then sat in the chair opposite his brother. “Been spending a lot of time in bed?”
“In bed or drunk.” Adam raised his chin as if in defiance.
“Sounds productive.” Nick took a sip of the strong coffee and held his brother’s gaze above the rim of his cup. Adam was thirty-three, but at the moment he looked ten years older.
“You should have been here, Nick.” Adam finally broke the gaze and instead stared at some point over Nick’s shoulder. “You should have stuck around after Cherry died, then maybe you would have seen the sickness in Sam, the sickness I didn’t see.”
Nick sat back in his chair, surprised as he continued to look at his brother. “Surely you aren’t blaming yourself for what Sam has done?”
Adam raked a hand through his thick, dark, unruly hair. “I should have seen that he was sick, that he was howl-at-the-moon crazy. He and I were so close. If I’d known how he felt I might have been able to stop him. But somehow I missed something, and now there’s nothing left of our family. Cherry is gone, Sam has disgraced us all and there’s nothing left.”
“There’s you and me,” Nick replied. “Adam, you’ve got to pull yourself up out of this funk and get back to the job of taking care of this place, taking care of yourself.”
Adam shoved back from the table. “I don’t want to hear you telling me what I have to do. You ran out on us. I figure you’ll be here for a week or two and when you realize how tough it is to live in a small town where everyone’s talking about your family, when things get just a little bit too hard, then you’ll do what you always do—you’ll run out again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bottle of whiskey waiting for me in my room.”
As Adam left the kitchen, Nick remained at the table. Yes, it was definitely worse than he thought. He and Adam had never been particularly close. Sam had been thirty-four and Adam thirty-one when Nick had left town. The two older brothers had always aligned with each other, while Cherry and Nick had bonded together as the younger siblings.
He finished his coffee, rinsed his cup and then went outside, deciding the dishes and the other kitchen cleanup could wait until later. He headed for the stables in the distance, wanting to ride the pastures and check out the livestock.
Surely Adam hadn’t fallen so deep into the bottom of the bottle and his depression that he hadn’t been feeding and caring for the horses and the cattle that provided their livelihood.
He sighed in relief as he walked into the stable and saw that all the horses were in good shape. It took him only minutes to saddle up his old mount, Diamond, and head to the distant pastures.
As he rode with the heat of the sun on his shoulders, he finally began to relax, but he couldn’t help the way his thoughts went back to Courtney. He’d been so shocked to see her working in the café.
As the horse rocked him in the saddle, he thought of the last time they’d been together. It had been hours after he’d learned that his sister had died, and he’d needed Courtney’s warmth, her life force and energy to take away the icy-cold grip of grief.
When he’d left Grady Gulch on the day of Cherry’s funeral, he had no plans to stay away for as long as he had. It had just happened. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and suddenly two years had passed.
A hundred times...no, maybe a thousand times in the time he’d been gone, he’d stared at his cell phone and mentally punched in Courtney’s number, just wanting to hear the sound of her voice, to feel some sort of connection with her.
For months after he’d left Grady Gulch, Courtney had been like the phantom limb of an amputee. But with each day that had passed, it had gotten a little easier to stop himself from contacting her.
After all, he’d always been her dirty little secret, a walk on the wild side that she’d kept private from everyone in her life. The promises they’d made to each other to love one another forever, to eventually marry and have a family together, had been nothing more than silly fantasies they’d spin in moments of happy delusion and sexual satisfaction. The promises, the love, all of it had never left the abandoned Yates barn.
She had been the princess of Evanston, and he’d been the bad-boy cowboy from Grady Gulch, never welcomed to her home, never even introduced to her family or friends, but rather hidden in the shadows of the old barn.
